WELL SLAP ME SILLY! This was an addictive, adorable and fresh new novel!

I read it in one sitting, even telling my hubby to go to bed without me because I needed to know how it ended.

Easy 5 star read for me, might even buy the physical book so it can sit pretty on my shelf 😏

I will 100% recommend this book to my friends and followers.

Thank you Netgalley for the ARC!

Thank you to Netgalley for the ARC!

This was great! The characters were well written and explored fully, I really felt like the setting was real and explored, and it was great to get a window into a lot of different practices. I really enjoyed the found family aspects as well. Very sweet!

I pretty much got what I expected with this one, and I sort of wish I got more than that. Ghost stories, especially those that stray from horror, are one of my major interests, which is what drew me to this book despite it seemingly being not so up my alley, stylistically speaking. While I really appreciate the book's approach to the genre, to some degree I feel like it was juggling too many elements to fully let that ghost story shine (there are so many plot developments, most of which are running in the background of the bulk of the novel). In general I just found the prose a bit uninteresting, bordering on stilted, carrying a conventionality that personally distances me a bit from the emotions at hand. I also have some criticisms that are admittedly very weird, like it started to irk me a little when the word "chaste" was brought up an unnatural number of times. (I'm pretty sure it was only like three times, but it was within a few page span so it stuck out. Anyways, it's not impossible that this is changed in final copy.) The aforementioned deluge of plot elements, for better or for worse, keep the book moving along, but these quirks make the writing itself feel a little repetitive, not doing much to differentiate the many scenes that take place in one setting with similar circumstances surrounding them.

I like how unabashedly romantic the book is, and the character of Ezra is a strong one even if others around him have varying levels of specificity. I would have liked to see a little more focus in the plot, but there's a lot to love about this novel, and I know there are plenty of people who are more at home with this sort of approach to prose and plot. If that includes you, you will find this book easy to adore.

This book is a bit deeper than the title makes it seem. I love the trans MC representation, I love the ghosts (the main one in particular) despite not typically liking books with ghosts in them. I love the Jewish family craziness and drama. I saw another reviewer use the term "parentified child" and I had never seen that term used before but this book definitely fits that term and I can relate to that in many ways so this book definitely resonated with me. I think Ezra is a wonderful character and I would love to know them in real life. It's hard to imagine that this is a debut novel as the author does such a wonderful job and has a knack for writing.

This book is deep, heartwarming, charming, funny and a bit silly as well and I think it would appeal to many different readers.

Thank you NetGalley, Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine | Dell and Shelly Jay Shore for access to the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This is a really heavy book. It made me cry and laugh but it had a hard time holding my attention. Ezra is the definition of a parentified child. They are constantly the one keeping the family together and playing peacekeeper. There were aspects of found family and accepting help from those who love you. There seemed to be a lot of recaps throughout the book and sometimes unnecessary descriptions. Overall the book was well written but was not my cup of tea.

Ezra Friedman's journey through life is haunted, both literally and figuratively, by the ghosts of his past and the expectations of his family. Growing up in a funeral home, he grapples with his unique ability to see ghosts, exacerbated by the disapproving gaze of his grandfather's ghost during his transition. Amidst the complexities of grief, identity, and love, Ezra seeks solace by distancing himself from the family business.

This compelling narrative deftly explores themes of grief, identity, and the complexities of family dynamics, blending sensitivity with humor. While centering on a transgender Jewish protagonist, its themes resonate universally, ensuring accessibility for all readers.

The author's prose is both poignant and humorous, capturing the essence of life's highs and lows. Through laughter and tears, the story resonates deeply, leaving a lasting impression on the reader.

In conclusion, this novel is a masterfully crafted exploration of life, death, and everything in between. Its beauty lies in its authenticity.

Gratitude to NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group for the opportunity to experience this remarkable tale.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publishing company/Author for providing me with a FREE copy of the book.

This was AMAZING! I just finished it and I’m trying to put words together that are comprehendible. The fact that there’s such a unique plot line with characters you don’t see a lot of representation for and if you do see them it’s mainly just side characters.

Our main character is a fellow who is the glue for his whole family it seems like, but what happens when something goes down and he isn’t able to fix it? As we go along with Ezra and his family and friends we see so many different types of people snd i LOVE IT! each character has their own vibe and they all aren’t straight people lol. we love to see the representation for the lgbtq+ community… AND ADD IN GHOSTS???

I also learned a lot about jewish culture during the reading of this book and i feel like its not often i feel like I’ve taken real facts away from a book but i liked learning new things about a whole different culture I’ve never really knew much about. This was hands down a 5 star read and I’m so glad i was able to read it. Definitely will be recommending this to my friends!

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Ballantine/Random House for an ARC of this book in exchange for my review!

Rules for Ghosting is a paranormal romance about Ezra, a doula and yoga instructor (who happens to see ghosts) and must rejoin his family’s funeral home business after his mom drops a shocking revelation on the family. During this, Ezra meets Jonathan, his downstairs neighbor and a volunteer at the funeral home, a recent widower. Ezra’s crush is complicated, however, as one of the ghosts Ezra can see is Jonathan’s husband.

This is an absolutely stunning debut. I couldn’t put it down. I know this book is technically a paranormal romance, however, it has it all. I loved the familial drama and found family aspects. The novel explores tons of heavy topics with the utmost care. Every single event and character feels messy and raw and real. Although this book contains lots of death and paranormal activity, it is not frightening or overwhelmingly upsetting at any point. I was deeply impressed at how warmly everything was handled. All of the sadness and death in the novel is balanced with love, acceptance, family, and life.

I loved Ezra so much. He is well-fleshed out, multifaceted, and compelling as a character. I don’t know that I have ever read another character quite as fully developed as Ezra. I felt like I knew him personally.

Overall, this book was excellent. I will definitely pick up anything else that Shelly Jay Shore decides to write in the future!

Thank you to Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine | Dell, and NetGalley for allowing me to read this book!

As a queer Jew myself, it's always fantastic to see myself represented, even if I do not align exactly (I am neither an trans man, allo, nor from a religious family, for example) and so it was a double gift to see it done with such lightness and deftness. Full of heart, love, loss and humor, Ezra, his friends, his family, and his partner together combine to make a memorable fairly low-stakes romcom. The funeral home is a mess-- particularly after Ezra's mom leaves it when announcing her infidelity.

To help his family out, Ezra returns-- to the funeral home, to the ghosts, to his long-deceased zayde whose disapproval he cannot and does not desire to untangle. After all, ghosts have rules. They do not move from place to place. They do not speak. They're echos, and he must help help them as he can. But the new ghost-- Jonathan's husband Ben-- can do both. And he wants Jonathan to move on.

Ezra's dog and texts within the book are a joy that help to lift it from the family ghosts that haunt all, both literal and metaphorical. A truly enjoyable read, one I'll recommend to all my queer Jewish friends.

Ezra Friedman grew up in a funeral home. The fact that he can see ghosts made that interesting.

He is going as far away from that life as possible. Until his dream job doesn’t pan out and his mother has announced she is leaving with the Rabbi’s wife. Yep, she did. Ezra comes back to try and save the funeral home business, and now he sees ghosts all the time.

He is also looking with interest at Jonathan, a volunteer at the funeral home and the cute guy who lives beneath Ezra’s apartment. He is very interested.

However, one of the ghosts he sees is Ben. Ben is Jonathan’s dead husband. And he is not behaving very ghostly. He can talk, and move and Ezra is learning what a haunting is.

Excellent Story!


NetGalley/ RHPG BALLENTINE DELL August 20, 2024

vibes: light magic, love after loss, complex families, and waking up into life

Heat Index: 5/10

Ezra has largely disconnected from his family's funeral home--in part because he sees ghosts, and hasn't loved his grandfather's spirit giving him disapproving glares as he's transitioned. But when his mother announces that she's leaving his father for the local rabbi's wife, he's forced to pitch in again. Which brings him into the orbit of the gentle, charming Jonathan... whose late husband appears to be the latest spectral entity haunting Ezra. Ben's presence isn't the only problem (though it certainly does cramp Ezra's style). He also speaks. And moves. In other words--things ghosts aren't supposed to do, and things that definitely cause issues as, slowly--against his own will--Ezra begins falling for Jonathan.

What a strong debut! In a lot of ways, this is as much a family story as it is a romance--the Friedmans are complicated (though, and I think this is important to point out... though they may be imperfect about it, they're largely accepting of Ezra's transition) and as the book goes on, you see how those complications have shaped Ezra and his worldview.

Which, in turn, shapes how he can't quite trust his feelings for Jonathan, or Jonathan's for him. Especially with the dead husband thing. But the paranormal elements of this book are soft, and really serve the character development more than anything else. This is a sweet, funny novel about waking up into your life after sleepwalking for a long time. It is, yes, also about grief and loss... and how life really doesn't stop happening after they occur.

Quick Takes:

--Can I just say... a pseudo love triangle between a guy who sees ghosts, a widower, and the widower's husband's ghost? Brilliant. But it's also not really a love triangle, is it? I loved how super real and honest this story was with the reality of losing a partner to death, rather than by choice. Will Jonathan ever stop loving Ben? Probably not. Does that diminish his feelings for Ezra? Nope.

And a lot of this novel does center on the complexities of love. Of how sometimes, it's not enough. Of how it can end, or take another form. (One of Ezra's close friends is his ex, which I found super interesting.) It's really mature, but not in the manner that anyone acts perfect--they just naturally learn and go through these things together.

--There's a good amount of focus on Ezra's Jewish identity and how that fits into the funeral home, as well as his place in the family as a trans man. None of it comes off as an info dump, and at the same time, I (as someone who isn't Jewish) never felt lost. That's a tough balance to hit. Reading about the rituals was oddly soothing to me--I actually have a lot of anxiety about death, and I worried a bit about that as I opened the book. It was kind of perfect here.

--One really cool note: Ezra is a doula! There's only one fully on the page birth scene, but it's the kind you rarely find depicted in fiction. I super loved that detail.

--Jonathan and Ezra's love story is both inevitable and bittersweet. Because as much as Jonathan still has one foot in the past as someone who lost his spouse... Ezra isn't dissimilar. He also hasn't fully come to terms with a lot of things--he hasn't fully processed his transition (understandably) and there's this huge reframe happening within his family. It's kind of refreshing to see a book in which we see a lead really having to do some work before they can fully be true to not just themself, but their partner.

The Sex:

There's one full sex scene in this one, and it's both explicit and, I think, respectful of the insecurities Ezra still has about his body. (I also want to mention that, as far as I noticed, the author also made an effort to censor Ezra's deadname. Which was super cool.) It's romantic and tender and also hot? And it was real about Jonathan's own new experiences, too. I kind of loved it.

In some ways, Rules for Ghosting is more about metaphorical than literal ghosts--even though there is a literal talking ghost. But more than anything, it's about acceptance and honesty and coming to terms with who you are--and all the things you can't necessarily do, even if you want to, until that happens.

Thanks to NetGalley and Dell for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

This stunning debut novel has to be the most unique and heartwarming romance I’ve ever read! At its heart, Rules for Ghosting is not only a queer love story, but a story about messy (but loving) family dynamics, community, grief, and finding self worth. It’s the type of story that will haunt you long after you finish reading it.

Ezra is a bisexual trans man who grew up at his family’s Jewish funeral home, a place that makes it almost impossible to avoid the fact that he can see ghosts. As an adult, he tries to escape the hold death has on him by becoming a birth doula. However, after his mother runs off with the rabbi’s wife, Ezra steps in to help at the funeral home again. On top of all the family drama, more complications arise for Ezra when a mysterious ghost—who turns out to be the husband of Jonathan, his widowed neighbor that he’s developing feelings for—starts haunting him.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book a lot! All the characters, even the secondary ones, were well thought-out and fun to read about. Ezra and Jonathan had such a sweet relationship and it was so refreshing to see mature and healthy communication between the two when peak drama threatened their relationship. Additionally, while death is a big part of this book—between the family funeral home, Ezra being a clairvoyant, and Jonathan dealing with the death of his husband—the topic is handled very well and I loved learning about different Jewish customs that are mentioned in the story.

This was such a surprising read. I did not think I was going to enjoy it as much as I did. As an eldest daughter this really hit. I love how they address it in this book. The paranormal aspect was actually well done and cute? I loved this way more than expected and can’t wait to see what comes next with this author.

I absolutely adored this book. It was super educational. It was funny. It was heartwarming. I loved the characters and their journeys. It was a beautiful story.

Rules for Ghosting by Shelly jay Shore arc review. Thank for this opportunity to read this book through net galley. I found this book interesting. I like learning about Jewish customs reading this book was informative. Also how this book deal with funeral home and deal with grief, made a impactful. Also I like that the main character get see ghosts I found that so interesting and exciting storyline. I really like the other characters and the found family vibes. I used to work at funeral home so I found this book interesting in that sense. I think they deal with loss in a respectful manner. I also the journey the main character goes on learning about himself. I found it an exciting story and inspired read. I also like the cover art of this novel. This book goes out august 20 ,2024 go give it a chance.

I’m not one to review a book and say too much; I hate when readers feel they have to summarize the book rather than provide a review! I was lucky to have been sent an ARC of this debut novel and can only say that I was fascinated to learn so much about the Jewish cultural practices related to death and burial, as well as to get to know the characters in this book, a of whom are funny, flawed, scared, and exciting, and that includes Sappho the dog! This book is truly the Jewish version of Six Feet Under, the family-owned and run funeral home and chapel. These characters could be anyone we know, gay, straight, trans, bi, etc. they have jobs, quirky families, insecurities, and fears that hold them back from experiencing life to its fullest. Our lives are peppered with the ghosts of our past, oftentimes keeping us stuck in place not knowing how to, or if we should fight to move on. There was a chapter that addresses the death of an acquaintance that was so incredibly touching that I cried for the humanity and love that was portrayed. If this is her debut novel, I can’t wait to read what comes next!! thank you NetGalley for the advanced copy.

This was such a well-written book. I wasn’t really sure what it was going to be about, but I was hooked only a few chapters in. The author did such an amazing job developing characters and giving the reader a chance to explore perspectives. Ezra’s character is not one that I’ve ever read about, so I was appreciative of this chance to broaden my typical reads. The way the author explores internal conflict and choices was beautifully done through such an interesting lens. I’m excited for this book to come out and have my friends read!

THIS IS A DEBUT????? oh my dayssss i loved it
i just finished dead boy detectives on netflix yesterday and i started it with this book! SAME VIBE
i adored ezra !!!!
thank you netgalley and the publisher for giving me this arc
5 stars no notes!

This took me a few chapters to get into the story, but once I did, it was fantastic! This was such a sweet paranormal story about finding and accepting yourself and I absolutely adored Ezra! Please do yourself a favor and pick up this sweet debut of a novel when it's released!

Thank you to NetGalley and to Random House Publishing for my digital ARC!

I really enjoyed the concept of this book. It was funny, heartbreaking, educational even. The book had a slow pace to it and it did take me some time to really get into the story. What I did enjoy was the characters background (jewish), because it was educational on their background, what they do when someone passes, what they celebrate. It was also educational on the LGBTQ community, which was very nice. I’ve never read a book that intertwined religion with sexuality, so this was new for me. I thoroughly enjoyed it.