So I was interested in reading this book, as an Asian male, wondering what his journey is like as James Lee explores his sexual journey.
Generally speaking this book has some insight about being Asian male and how we are looked upon. My interested was piqued at the escorts he hired, them being non Asian and how they interacted with him socially and then sexually. That was interesting as Asian male tends to be categorized as not the most desired.
But halfway through this book I just started to skip many of the pages especially the ones when James is just thinking in his head about his own issues. I got bogged down on that and it just didn't grip me.
I understand what he was trying to do in his journey but I found his thoughts mixed with the actions just lost me.

Such a refreshing look at experiences and interactions with other people. It hooked me right away. This is about so much more than you may initially think!

"In & Out" by James Lee is a gripping and thought-provoking novel that delves into the complexities of life’s transitions and the search for identity. Lee's writing is both poignant and sharp, capturing the emotional turbulence of characters who find themselves navigating the challenges of change, whether it be in relationships, careers, or personal growth.

The story follows the lives of characters who are at pivotal points, facing the push and pull of decisions that will shape their futures. As they move in and out of different phases of their lives, Lee masterfully explores themes of love, loss, ambition, and the quest for self-understanding. The narrative is rich with emotional depth, providing readers with a compelling look at how we all cope with the inevitable changes that life brings.

Lee's characters are fully realized and relatable, each grappling with their own internal conflicts and external pressures. The novel is structured in a way that mirrors the ebb and flow of life itself, with moments of tension, reflection, and resolution. "In & Out" is not just a story about change, but also about resilience and the human capacity to adapt and grow.

With its insightful exploration of life's ups and downs, "In & Out" is a novel that will resonate with readers who appreciate stories about personal transformation and the complexities of the human experience. James Lee has created a narrative that is both introspective and universal, making it a memorable read for anyone who has ever faced the uncertainty of change.

I really enjoyed this book. It took me a few chapters to properly get into it but when I did I was hooked! It is so well written and very interesting to read!

Thank you to James Lee and NetGalley for an eARC version of this book in exchange for an honest review.

DNF at 22%...I had high hopes for this book but sadly it fell flat. It screamed of a grown man who didn't "sow his wild oats" as a teenager combined with the missed opportunities for dating during the pandemic led him to fulfill these times of his life as best he could by using paid escorts.

I was provided an ARC of this book by NetGalley and Victory Editing in exchange for my honest review.

I was very intrigued by the concept of this book. As the author noted more than once, we have not gotten a lot of first person perspective from the customers of sex workers.

I think this book was unique in the overall concept and it was interesting to have a comprehensive background on the writer before moving into his experiences in London and Amsterdam. Yet, for the most part, Lee was able to deliver the experiences with the sex workers without painting them with his own personal biases. Though, I wish he had not used outdated terminology, an example being prostitutes, in a book being published in 2024.

While many details of Lee's life and his different meetings with sex workers were very interesting and helped to paint a clear picture of his intent in writing, I found that there was often too much detail given over the course of the book. I often found myself losing interest in long scenes of small talk or going into a long discussion of topics that have already been broached within the book. I feel like one more round of editing to streamline the story could have been very beneficial.

All in all, I'm glad I read this book, because I was able to see a detailed perspective into a world I have very little knowledge of. I think that Lee has a good voice and could produce some great books in the future.

Interesting book about a topic that I’d not usually read about. I enjoyed how the author shared his experiences yet felt scared, humbled, angry, thankful and overall happy with his experience.

In & Out: An Intimate Odyssey by James Lee
DNF at 46%

In & Out is a memoir of a young man's trip to Europe where he pays seven high end escorts for sex. This is not something I would generally read but it sounded like it could be humorous so I thought I'd give it a go.

I was mostly enjoying it up until the first escort encounter. There was a lot of humour, a lot of detail about the logistics of booking escorts, which I found interesting and great introspection and pondering of cultures and society.

Where this book lost me was the over the top explicit play-by-play detail of the sexual encounters. I do read some spicy books from time to time but I wasn't expecting so much description of the actual sex with the escorts, especially with how the first 30% of the book was laid out.

I think this story had a lot of potential, but tried to be too many things at once. The chapters were also very long and with so much description of the processes, websites, emails and events, it got lengthy and hard to hold my attention.

If you enjoy reading about cultural differences, logistics of processes touched with self deprecating humour and don't mind explicit descriptions of sex - give this a go! Just not a book for me.

Thank you Netgalley and Victory Editing for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

Review posted to Goodreads June 28, 2024.

Summary

This book offers a unique male perspective on sex, love, and trauma set against a European getaway.

Reading Experience

This book was well written and read similarly to a romance novel. It was fast-paced and engaging to read. The spicy scenes were detailed and lengthy yet respectfully written. The book did feel a bit sandwiched; with many introspective and emotional insights crammed into the beginning and end of the book, with the middle portion almost completely focused on sex. I also felt the ending was a bit rushed. I craved to know what "happened after" with either an additional chapter or an epilog.

Who This Book Is For

I would encourage anyone who wishes to learn more about sex and relationships to read this book.

Thank you to Netgalley, the author and the publisher, for providing me with a copy of this in exchange for an honest review.

This was an interesting read. I don't often choose books written by men, and even more rarely do I choose books about sex and relationships written by men. But this specific book intrigued me. I don't really know what I expected going into it, but I was originally impressed by the level of detail the author included. I liked the setup to his holiday and the amount of time he spent researching and preparing. He's detailed and thorough in his acocunts of his research and preparation. Unfortunately, it is what follows these accounts that I struggle with.

To begin with, the author began to describe his sexual encounters in detail, which I was not prepared for. For me, reading it became difficult and downright awkward. This was further cemeneted when he spent a paragraph talking about how he felt when he realised the escort had faked it with him. I'm hoping that his candidness here was meant to be helping us see the full story, but to me, it felt just a little self pitying. I read the line and asked myself what he thought would happen? I ended up having to put the book down.

At the end of the day, some books are for people, and others aren't, and this specific book was not for me. It was well written, and I can see it interesting and captivating a large group of people, I am just not in that group.

3 stars.

The story is simple yet deep. The main character, James, focuses a lot on looks and can come across as a bit funny unintentionally. He learns that closeness is important for fulfilling relationships, a lesson that may not be new but is presented in a fresh way. Despite some flaws, the book offers a respectful portrayal of s*x workers and is an enjoyable and recommendable read.

The book promises an intriguing premise, exploring the intersections of personal and global crises. However, it attempts to tackle too many socioeconomic issues, including COVID-19 and the war in Ukraine, which are addressed rather superficially. While the ambition to cover these contemporary themes is commendable, the lack of depth left me wanting a more nuanced exploration of these critical topics, or better yet, leaving them out altogether. It's an easy read but feels a bit all over the place in terms of the aftertaste the author intended to leave.

This was a very average read for me.

What I liked:
1. The honest, truthful & funny narration
2. The commitment to not paint this sensitive topic in any light good or bad - it delivers very well on the 'memoir' part
3. Very decent depiction of people, especially women in the story despite the circumstances. The author skillfully shows fundamental respect.

What I didn't:
1. Even though I really liked the premise and the anticipation, the book was too long for my liking. I found myself losing some interest.

I appreciate the self-reflectiveness of the journey the author has been through, I found it unashamedly selfish.
There were attempts at philosophical reflection but it read more like ignorance (e.g. towards Greek mythology).
Didn't find the attitude towards women very much appreciative, except for body features - they were described in a sexy way, I must admit.
The sex scenes were retold with a lot of self-confidence.

Well, where to start with this one! Firstly, this book does contain graphic descriptions of sex, so if that's not your thing then this isn't the book for you! I've read other reviews where they've said it isn't crass, and it really isn't...but it does go into a lot of detail which may offend some. I'd read the blurb and had read other reviews before I started, so I knew what I was letting myself in for. I thought the book was really interesting, and as I'd read a book a few months ago about a woman's year of sex, I thought it would be different to see it from a man's perspective. This was slightly different though, the author's experiences are with prostitutes and, dare I say it, very well paid prostitutes! The author has kept his identity under wraps but he does give a little bit away as to his background. He does seem like a really genuine guy though, and he treats the women he meets very well indeed. I tend to see the prostitution world as sordid and seedy, but this book does go to show that it's not always like that. The women he meets, on the whole, seem lovely but I don't know whether it all feels a bit sad that some women have to resort to this to survive.

It's not something I would normally read, and was a little outside my comfort zone with it. I was pleased to have read it though and it gave an interesting view on a (sometimes) taboo subject.

The quite literal action in this story takes place over a condensed period of time during an eventful few days. I suspect I am not the ideal fit for this kind of book, but I will commend the writer for his honesty.

While I have read several non fiction memoirs of sex workers, and also worked with them in the context of my professional life as a development worker (dealing with alternative income generation projects for women belonging to disenfranchised groups within society), this was the first experience of the client POV which was not actively sleazy or misogynistic.

Some of the protagonist's realisations about intimacy, vulnerability and emotional engagement will not be particularly surprising for most women and some mature men, but it was an interesting enough read.

Thank you NetGalley and Victory Editing for the arc. James seems like he’d probably get along with Ernest Hemingway, F Scott and the like. The narrative is simple yet contemplative. I’ll say that James suffers from the condition of being male, so his fixation on the physical appearance (including weight in a weirdly enthusiastic way) is not a surprise. His use of exclamation points for the female dialogue is unintentionally funny because it makes all the s*x workers sound a bit stupid instead of making them sound enthusiastic.

He discovers that intimacy is a key ingredient to sex that doesn’t leave a void (a woman would have discovered this much earlier in her life). Vulnerability being important to connection? It’s not a novel idea. People have spoken about it forever, but I suppose we experience life for the first and only time only as ourselves so it is novel for some, including this author.

Despite my grousing, I actually do think this is a lovely journey of self-discovery through unlikely means. Nonetheless, the s*x workers are treated with gentleness and respect in this narrative even when he is fighting through his own misogynistic thoughts (though his sexism lite™️ seems more a result of patriarchal society than a personal deficiency).

This was frank and occasionally funny. Highly recommend.

In&Out: An Intimate Odyssey by James Lee is a book that really touched me. It's all about figuring out who you are and what you want, and it feels so real. The way Lee writes is like he's speaking right to your heart. The stories are so personal and deep, they made me think about my own life in a new way. It's not like anything I've read before, and I'm so glad I got the chance to experience it. It’s definitely not something I would normally pick up on my own and I can’t say I’ve found a new love for the genre which is why I’ve rated is 3/5 but I definitely don’t regret picking this up.

I was intrigued by this book by the description, but halfway through I realized I'm probably not the target audience for this one.

I liked this, actually! In 100% transparency, I thought it would be...rough. I cant say male authors are my favorite and I was incredibly skeptical upon the books description. This was nice, and I will tell you why-men rarely show feelings or talk about how child trauma or issues effect them as adults. This was refreshing, sir.