Out of my Shell - Natasha Daniels

I found this a really insightful read, as someone who struggles with anxiety and social anxiety I found the openness of the author a real help to understanding myself. I feel this is a book that I would pick up and re-read again. A very well paced book, and easy to navigate. Many thanks Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the e-arc in return for my honest thoughts and opinions

If you are wondering if you have social anxiety, you’ll definitely know when you read this book. Throughout, I felt like Natasha Daniels was narrating my life. Trouble making friends. Bullied in school. Frantically reading ahead to check the paragraph I’d have to read when reading one by one in class. Utterly baffled at how others can handle social interactions so effortlessly. Needing a “security blanket” in the form of another person when attending events or visiting unknown places. Clinging to that person like a lifeline. Overanalyzing every single social interaction to see where you messed up. Having a voice in your head telling you over and over how nobody wants to hang out with you.

Natasha Daniels gets me. And I wept for both of our former selves, at each milestone age.

There’s hope, though! I loved reading about Daniels’ efforts to kick her social anxiety to the curb. If you have it, you’ll be fighting against it for your whole life, and you will have setbacks at times. Never fear! With therapy and hard work, you can make great progress and tell that voice where it can go every time it shows up. Daniels outlines her progression on doing just that, and it’s heartwarming to see.

Natasha, this is a fantastic book that will help many people. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your struggles with the world. You are inspiring!

My thanks to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for an eARC of this book. All opinions are mine alone.

The author’s lived experience with social anxiety and her raw retelling of her memories via an engaging prose are highly appreciated.
Without going into detail, I will say that I did not fully find what I was looking for. This book was good but not great in my opinion.
The author’s expertise and bravery are evident in the book. It was just not my cup of tea. I hope the right audience for this book and this book meet, and the audience gets the best value and enjoyment out of this.

Out of My Shell by Natasha Daniels does a brilliant job of exploring social anxiety from both a clinical perspective and personal one. Daniels navigates her own experience as a therapist, mother, wife, and woman through returning to the past while tackling the present. This way we discover the roots of social anxiety in Daniels' life and swiftly, for any reader who has experience with anxiety, we are allowed to identify those roots within ourselves and our pasts too.

For me, as someone who has a diagnosis of mixed anxiety and depression, Out of My Shell was an enlightening read. So much of what I've put down to 'who I am' (as Daniels did) is actually because of how socially anxious I am (as Daniels realises). Through reading Daniels' work I was able to begin my own journey tackling my social anxiety (albeit in my 30s!). I appreciate Daniels' interviews with her past selves too, especially as it highlighted how many of us carry anxiety for so long without truly wishing to unpick its source.

The writing is personable and well-paced, making Out of My Shell easy to read despite coming from a therapist's perspective; perhaps because Daniels imbues this book with so much of herself as a human being, as someone with flaws and foibles, and as someone who loves deeply.

Overall, good read. Natasha toggles between her current life and past memories in a relatable way. She interacts with her past selves across pivotal moments, exploring where her social anxiety comes from, and how to find a way to both manage it and accept herself as she is now. Overall, I found this an easy read, and working with her past selves allowed me, as it may allow various readers, to understand the point at different comprehension levels. I tend to find a lot of self-help type of books dense and dry to get through. Given that this is written in a memoir style, it's much, much easier to digest.

I appreciated that though my childhood may have been different, the stories or experiences themselves had relatable content. Who didn't sit there in elementary school counting their turn to read? Who didn't have fear of where to sit during middle school lunch, even when you had a "place"? Who hasn't had an unhappy relationship? Feelings that I thought were unique to me are displayed openly as universal.

It was particularly eye opening that Natasha, as a therapist, initially struggled to apply the tools that she helps provide others, easily on herself. This helped provide vulnerability and a human element that allows the reader to trust her. That is, if my therapist needs a therapist, too, maybe I'm not wrong in that the world can be hard, and I'm not so wildly alone.

I found myself highlighting several quotes; the point seemed so obvious, yet, put in black in white, gave a clear takeaway.

I initially picked this up as an advanced copy in exchange for an unbiased review, knowing nothing of the author. It's not until I got to the end that I realized that Natasha is actually widely known on social media! (I guess it's because she specializes in children, and I have none.) She reminds me of Glennon Doyle, whos podcasts I do follow and book I have read. However, while I do love Glennon, I found Natasha more relatable. Glennon tends to cover a wide range of subjects while centering on a family focus, while Natasha kept focus on social anxiety across all ages. The book overall felt more like a friend telling me a story (as a memoir should) rather than a therapist trying to give me advice I don't realize I'm ready for.

Even if you're not socially anxious, this book is to be appreciated for the flow of writing and wit of her internal monologue.