I received an ARC from the publisher via NetGalley and am voluntarily posting a review. All opinions are my own.
I admit I didn’t know a ton about Anna Marie Tendler prior to the headlines swirled about her divorce from John Mulaney and the fallout there. And admittedly, it was this that motivated me to request tbis book. But this isn’t a takedown of Mulaney, in spite of its attention-grabbing title, and he figures in only in passing and never by name. It is a solid choice, as not only are there many more men who have impacted her life, but this choice allows the reader to get to know her as her own person and follow her on her journey toward healing, with the primary focus being on her hospitalization as a result of her mental health issues. The narrative is told somewhat in a non-linear fashion, using this hospitalization as a framing device to explore the many experiences she’s had that brought her to this point, but she crafted it in a way that I never felt lost in time, and her prose guided me through her story beautifully.
I really enjoyed this book, and I would gladly read something else from Anna Marie Tendler in the future!

Thank you to Anna Mariel Tendler and Simon & Schuster via NetGalley for the eARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.

I found this book thoroughly captivating and excellently written. I think the author exquisitely portrays the muddled way many of us go through life when we’re constantly in fight or flight mode. Her thoughtfulness and analysis of her life is raw and interesting.

There are so many ways Anna and I are similar and also so many ways we’re complete opposites. I found myself agreeing and sympathizing with a lot of her thoughts about herself and situations, but also disagrees with her harsher condemnations of the world at large, but I completely understand where she is coming from. The title is impactful. Anna isn’t crazy. She’s angry, and has every right to be.

I would highly recommend the book to anyone who is interested in reading one woman’s account of her mental health, how she got to her breaking point, and how she’s lived since.

Thank you to netgalley for providing me with an arc.

This review is coming from someone who doesn't ever reach for memoir books, at all. But this one peaked my interest. While I first learned about Anna due to her previous marriage, I found her to be an interesting and complex woman from the start (beyond the jokes on stage). Having both worked in museum and archival settings I could see part of myself in her school struggle of not wanting to fall behind while her personal life was falling apart. The routine and constant of school always made me feel more together than I really was. I think it's always an eye opening experience to see what life was like in the early 2000s for young women, as it was really untested waters of not a lot of mental health offerings as well as uncharted internet access. Towards the end of the book I found myself reliving my own grief of loosing my childhood pets that held me together through every single life moment, as Tendler said goodbye to her beloved dog Petunia. While this might not be the memoir for everyone, I do think it's important to note learning about other women's struggles and seeing how they take those struggles and turn them into a woven story are just as important as a tabloid article about something we have zero incite into.

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the advanced copy!

This book was really raw and so well written. Anna was such a great storyteller. I finished this in one sitting because I was so engrossed in the story. The story centers around her time in a psychiatric hospital and weaves in parts of her past and growing up and all the different relationships in her life. The mental health representation in this was so real and felt so reflective for her. She didn’t shy away from the tough topics and really went deep with her mental health experience and all her past traumas. This was a memoir that was done really well and you can tell felt therapeutic for the author as well. I do really recommend this one!

Thanks again to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the advanced copy!

Men Have Called Her Crazy is a memoir that explores dealing with mental health, pivotal moments in her life that have been impacted by men, and her sometimes difficult relationship with her parents. I found Tendler's writing very engaging and vulnerable with experiences that felt familiar (ex: predatory men, complicated relationship with Mom, and mental health struggles). The way she clearly analyzes her mental and emotional states helps readers follow her line of thinking and shows how much care she put into this book down to the sentence. Overall, I highly recommend picking up this book!

Amazing recollection of a woman in crisis. I really related to this story. It's an understated condemnation of the way "nice guys" treat women, and how they're threatened by a woman expressing her individuality.

Anna Marie Tendler is the bravest person I've never met.

I was so thrilled to read this book early from the ARC Galley God's at NetGalley. I'm so happy I had access to it. This was such a tender book to read. Anna's novel really spoke to me. I could see myself so easily in the chapters where she spoke about her past experiences with men, so much so that I felt like we would have been great friends if we had know each other in our youth. I've been called crazy by past lovers and never heard it phrased in the way's Anna did and it really made me think about these experiences in more detail.

I loved this book in a way that I truly can't describe, and I think it's so important for everyone to read. I cannot wait for everyone to get their hands on it!

Anna Marie Tendler makes the incredible feat of writing a very personal memoir while retaining her privacy. I usually finish a memoir feeling like a friend to the author, but Tendler, who is described in the book by herself and others as extremely introverted, remains a mystery to me. I feel this is a strength in the time of extreme parasocial relationships.

I, like many who will pick this up, learned of Tendler through the comedy of her now ex-husband, John Mulaney. The (at least, public aspect of the) drama behind their breakup, along with the title, had me thinking that this would be an Arya Stark-style list of Tendler going through the many mistreatments of the men in her life and how it has impacted her. I believe the title, while incredible, is misleading. This book mentioned numerous mistreatments by men, but gaslighting and 'calling her crazy' is not necessarily one of them. I fully respect the way she navigated this book, but I think many 'misandrists' like me (she notes in the book that this is not a real thing) will be slightly disappointed. You'll also be disappointed if you want the tea on their divorce - John's name does not appear once and all we know about their marriage is that it ended. Good for her, getting coin from people who are buying her memoir just to be nosy.

For anyone who has struggled with their relationship with men, I think you'll enjoy this. I felt extremely seen by her in this, particularly in her description of her relationship with her dog. In regards to Petunia, she calls her the "literal love of her life," and I feel that to my absolute core.

This memoir is not perfect, but if you enjoy a memoir, you'll enjoy this one.

Thank you to Simon and Schuster and NetGalleyf or an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher. This was a pretty dark read. It was so well written but did feel distant.

Men Have Called Her Crazy: A Memoir by Anna Marie Tendler offers an intimate glimpse into the author’s personal struggles and experiences. While Tendler's candid storytelling is commendable, I had a hard time connecting with the narrative on a deeper level. The memoir provides valuable insights but may resonate differently depending on individual readers' perspectives.

My God, what an impressive memoir this was.

In Men Have Called Her Crazy, Anna Marie Tendler gives the reader insight into her journey through mental health struggles and the pervasive impact of men on her life in her debut. Through her time in a psychiatric hospital and the pivotal moments that have shaped her life, Tendler offers her perspective of the unreasonable pressures women face in today's world. I appreciated how deeply personal this memoir was, well organized and relatable. This was one of my most highly anticipated reads this year and it far exceeded my expectations 🩷

Thanks so much to @netgalley, @simonandschuster, and Anna Marie Tendler for the opportunity to be a reader.

This went to some annoying places and skipped over things I would have been interested to read about (**** *******), but I'm nosy so I had a good time. Recommended for fans of intricate interior design and French bulldogs!

I requested this book as a fan of Anna Maarie Tendler. I didn't read the description before going into the book but from snippets online I knew this would be a bit of a tough read because of the subject matter. I ended up finishing this book quicker than anything else I've read this year. The writing is just as you'd expect from a talented artist, and I really felt like she poured her soul into it. Anyone who enjoys memoirs that detail mental health journeys will enjoy this one,.

this is the arc I was most excited about since I started reviewing. I read it in one sitting, stopping only to blow my nose, refill my water (crying dehydration), and to text my friends that it was as good as we hoped.

anna marie tendler has been a parasocial figure in my life for quite a few years. like probably many of her young queer female fans, I learned of her first through her ex husband, but stuck around because of how talented and interesting she is. some people just exude “artist”, and she—from the Victorian lampshades to the tumblr makeup blogger past to the frankly incredible self portraits that I will some day have on my wall if I make more money than I currently do—is certainly one of them. this is all to say- I had interest in this book beyond as a random memoir, and I had high expectations going in. I love her public persona, I know the few aspects of her life that she and others have shared, but this memoir was the chance to learn more of her life from the source.

men have called her crazy is a title that sets expectations which it delivers. this book focuses on her stay in a psychiatric hospital during the height of the pandemic, alternating out with vignettes from her past, many featuring interactions with men or her family. it’s a book about female rage, but not in the meme-ified and commercialized way; rather about the result of repeatedly pushing women to their breaking point. it’s filled with hurt, with anger, with loathing, but also with creation, love, and a desire for growth. there’s a love letter to female friendship in here, not just long term friends, but temporary bonds forged through hardship.

the writing makes the story shine. it’s quite straightforward, sometimes nearing on stream of consciousness and other times abrupt. this helps to convey her mental state and feelings, in a way that drove me forward in the reading. it’s an easy read mechanically (though a hard read emotionally). the interwoven moments are powerful and help to explain and motivate decisions and feelings in the present. expert crafting, especially as a debut.

an incredible read

Anna Marie Tendler’s stunning memoir is most revealing in what it doesn’t disclose. For anyone looking for salacious gossip about her very public split from her former husband John Mulaney, you won’t find that here. Instead, this is a raw and compelling discussion about the author’s stay at a mental health facility and the what led her up to that point.

Tendler is a very gifted writer and she can now add this to her many other artistic talents. Her book is an unflinching look at the way men have affected her self-esteem throughout her life, and the impact this has had on her own mental health. She doesn’t hold back on the devastating effects of anorexia and depression, and I applaud her for her bravery in telling her story.

The book is written in alternating flashbacks between present day and her childhood and early adulthood. Of course her famous dog Petunia is a big part of her story and I loved reading about their special bond.

I think Tendler has made an incredibly powerful statement by not giving any space to her ex-husband. She will not be defined by any man, let alone her former partner. Highly recommend this very intimate and personal self-portrait.

Many thanks to the publisher for providing an advanced copy in exchange for my honest review.

I have had no idea who Anna Marie Tendler or her ex-husband were when I read this so it wasn’t read as a celebrity memoir to me. This was a bravely done raw and emotional telling of the author’s time in hospital and her life before then (omitting her famous marriage). It read very fast and really brought up the emotions.

“My wish for myself is that one day I’ll reach a place where I can face hardship - because I fear the worst is still to come - without trying to destroy myself.”

Men Have Called Her Crazy comes out 8/13.

Men Have Called Her Crazy by Anna Marie Tendler is a compelling memoir that reckons with mental health as well as the insidious ways men impact the lives of women.
A gripping story of charm, self-discovery, and amends.
A truly powerful book that dives into love, family, friendship, and self-exploration.

Thank you NetGalley and Knopf, Pantheon, Vintage and Anchor for the opportunity to read this ARC.

Thank you to Simon & Schuster/NetGalley for the ARC. All opinions expressed are my own.

“ Men have judged me and men have called me crazy, trusting in their own neutrality. But when neutrality is only accepted by the one who has created it, it is an illusion.”

If that quote felt like a punch to the gut, then get ready because this book is filled with them. Men Have Called Her Crazy" by Anna Marie Tendler is a personal memoir where Tendler opens up about her struggles with mental health, relationships, and finding herself. Throughout the memoir, she alternates between recounting moments during her 2-week stay at a psychiatric facility and reflecting on past relationships- with romantic partners, her parents, and her feisty French bulldog Petunia. Tendler gives readers an honest look into how mental health struggles can deeply affect someone’s life and how society often mislabels women who face these issues. It’s a heartfelt and raw account of her journey through challenges and self-discovery.

I first discovered Anna Marie in the 2010’s through her Tumblr page, where she shared makeup tutorials and photography. She came across as effortlessly beautiful and cool, yet still approachable, and reading her posts felt like advice you would get from a girlfriend. Tender’s memoir is no different. I related deeply to how emotionally invested she became in relationships and how she completely shattered when a romantic relationship ended. She also dives into her relationship with her parents and how that laid a foundation for her emotional well-being - “Parents can be our greatest allies, they can fiercely love us, but they can also be the cause of our trauma.”

One of the strongest themes throughout the memoir is how Tendler’s romantic encounters with men made her question her own sanity and self-worth - “Here is the thing about men lying to women while telling them they are crazy or overreacting. The lying, the underplaying on their side, makes us doubt our intuition and intelligence, so eventually when suspicions are confirmed, when we find out we have been correct all along, we do go batshit fucking crazy. And it is warranted.”

I was worried that this was going to be a book about hating men, and trust me, there are many examples of abhorant behavior that would justify such strong feelings. But in the end, Tendler’s ability to self-reflect and reclaim her power is a pure example of the resilience that women possess - “I have chased unrequited affection because to me, struggle is indicative of love. Volatility is indicative of love. Dismissal is indicative of love. But that is not how I want to love anymore.”

Playlist inspired by “Men Have Called Her Crazy”
- Felt Good About You, Gracie Abrams
- Mad Woman, Taylor Swift
- You Oughta Know, Alan’s Morissette
- Someday You Will Be Loved, Death Cab for Cutie
- Enough for You, Olivia Rodrigo
- Motion Sickness, Phoebe Bridgers
- The End, Halsey

I don't think I've ever been more excited to be asked to read an ARC, and Tendler's book is just as incredible as I anticipated. I've long appreciated her beautiful photography and lampshades, so I was eager to read her words, as well. Men Have Called Her Crazy is vulnerable, gorgeously written, complex, intimate, and SO readable. While the storytelling is framed by her mental health hospitalization, it's more a telling of her interconnected experiences and how they've shaped her into the woman she is today. Tendler has such a clear voice when describing her inner dialogue and emotions, and her ability to be so in tune with herself translates to such a deep and relatable memoir. This book is a profound exploration of friendships, family dynamics, and romantic relationships. Tendler delved into so many the issues that society lobs at women: sense of identity, the choice of motherhood, romantic partners, career aspirations, and existing with the weight of the patriarchy on our shoulders. I'm going to buy a physical copy so that I can put this book on my shelf and read it again. Read Men Have Called Her Crazy on August 13!

Side note: I cried at every mention of Petunia, and my kitty came and sat with me as I read the chapter about her passing. It's a beautiful and tragic thing to have pets we love so dearly.

Huge thank you to Simon & Schuster, NetGalley, and Anna Marie Tendler for the ARC!

Anna Marie Tendler has written one of the most engaging, open and honest books I have read about mental health. This memoir was my most highly anticipated books of the year and it did no let me down. At times, this book is both raw and powerful. I felt truly seen by this work and it made me enjoy the art behind the book even more. Anna Marie did not hold back in her honesty and experience. There was no happy ending and that is okay, its the first book of this type that felt honest for not having one. I really look up to this work and can see myself returning to it again and again in my own moments of struggle.