I finished the book wanting more about tying her stay at the mental hospital to her dating history and her relationship with her mom. It was ok but most women have stories like hers, it is relatable to all women. Some parts of the book were difficult to get through but I appreciated the honesty and felt like a lot of this book was healing for her.

I liked this memoir and I think Tendler's followers and fans will enjoy it, too. It's an intimate look into her life and mental health struggles, pulling back the curtain on what is a parasocial relationship for any of us. She does not directly mention her ex husband, John Mulaney, but alludes to their divorce and his financial means.

I would like to preface this review by saying thank you to Simon and Schuster for sending me an ARC of Men Have Called Her Crazy in exchange for my honest review.

This one absolutely blew me away. This memoir was full of raw emotion as Tendler recounts her time spent in a psychiatric hospital. This one had me feeling so deeply for a person I hardly know. Tendler truly has a way of making the reader feel as if you walked this journey with her.

I smiled, I cried, and I finished this feeling hopeful. This is a must read for all women of the world. Get a copy of Men Have Called Her Crazy on 8/13/24!

5 stars

If the title drew you in, this book is for you.

Tendler's memoir is, by definition, a deeply personal exploration of the ways in which she has evolved but also the long road that led her to checking herself into a psychiatric hospital. As the title suggests, a lot of the source material comes from men's troubling treatment of Tendler, but Tendler does an excellent job of clarifying that while some men have been awful to her, others have been and continue to be vital parts of her life and happiness. This isn't a book about bashing men by any stretch, but there IS a lot of focus on the self-awareness required to see some of what happened not only to Tendler but what happens to MANY women (as expansively defined as possible) throughout their lives in a different way. A running theme in this area is the folly of youth, but that's not an excuse: just a factor in how and why Tendler and others may see something that happens to them early on as fine, typical, and even good (for example, a teenager in a physical relationship with a much older adult), but can later recognize this as wildly problematic, traumatizing, harmful, and, well, even illegal.

Tendler talks about her mental health, self-harm, suicidal ideation, her friendships, fertility, and so much more. A standout note for me is the incredible relationship she has with her dog throughout the text. Animal people will feel this. Despite the dog's many extraordinary quirks and challenges, this dog becomes a focal point for Tendler, and I thought often while reading that one benefit of writing this novel for Tendler had to be reconnecting with these memories.

This isn't a light read by any stretch, and folks who are sensitive to any of the noted motifs should really evaluate whether now is the time to dig into them in such a detailed way. Readers who can manage the content will find this a vulnerable, revelatory, likely at least in some ways relatable story of struggle and growth with glimmers of hope as an added bonus.

I loved this. I couldn't stop reading it, and I'll be recommending it enthusiastically but with all the noted caveats.

I really enjoyed this memoir. A lot of the authors thought process and views are similar to mine, which is refreshing to see and to know I'm not the only one. It was beautifully written memoir about her mental health journey and all the ups and downs. I especially liked the parts where she is in the mental health facility. I did not even know this author was married to a famous person until I started reading the reviews and made the connection!

If you're looking for the juicy gossip on the author and her former husband, you won't find it here. This is about the author's stay in an inpatient psychiatric facility, what got her there, and how she has navigated and will navigate her mental health. This is poignant, thought provoking, funny, and emotional, but most of all, so necessary and so brave. She talks about very difficult, so be warned, but it's a journey of self-discovery and trying to love yourself. It's raw and real, but I feel like a lot of us can relate and can see ourselves in Anna and what she has been through and continues to deal with. This book will likely make you angry too, because men fail us, the system fails us... so many people and places fail us. I think this is a book that will sit with me for awhile.

“I can at times feel mad at the me who came before this moment because I know for sure no man ever had to work so hard to disentangle himself from me. You were so stupid, I want to tell myself, but I redirect my thoughts to something more constructive. You are so lucky to have learned this now; it will keep you safe and happy. My brain makes a slight amendment: Maybe not totally happy, but perhaps happier. I’m still me, after all.”

This is one of those books that leaves me so utterly grateful and proud of be a woman. Easily one of my favorite reads of the year. I am typically not one for memoirs but this book felt like a conversation with a friend. Sharing a sisterhood with women like Anna Marie Tendler is a great joy and honor.

To share one’s struggles with self-harm, suicidal ideation, depression and anxiety, as well as very intimate details of personal relationships takes an immense amount of courage and for Anna to share so much of herself is a gift. There’s a certain type of humor that comes along with experiencing disordered thoughts and she does not shy away from the sometimes ridiculous nature of anxiety and depression. With that said, her unflinching honesty gives permission to freely and deeply feel everything that comes along with being a woman - the joys and the sorrows and the visceral anger and frustration that comes with living in a patriarchal society that loves to pathologize the feminine experience.

Anna’s storytelling is captivating and vulnerable. I saw so much of myself in this book and I am immensely grateful that words have been put to an experience that can often feel indescribable. I hope Anna continues to write and share more of herself. In the meantime, I will be returning to this book time and time again and recommending it to the women in my life.

This is said with the utmost respect (and emotion) - I would have devoured this book in my younger years, eager to read anything about another woman struggling with depression. Unsurprisingly, I read it just the same way at 39 years old.

Tendler's writing is straightforward, it feels like a good friend is telling you her story. The composition, with the time switches back and forth, helped the book flow; as current time moves on, you learn more about the things in her past that contributed to this. It makes her beginning to rediscover herself and what she wants in life even more poignant as you reach the end.

As someone who struggled with many of the same things Tendler did, I did find there were a few times I had to put the book down and focus on something else for a few minutes. I didn't mind this because it reinforced the story she tells here. It's real and it's honest and I'm thankful she's telling her story.

It was an interesting, emotional read. The distanced writing style made it more digestible given the difficulty of the topics addressed. I would recommend it.

The last chapter feels a bit off kilter from the rest, but otherwise good.

Men Have Called Her Crazy by Anna Marie Tendler is a memoir about the author’s time in an inpatient psychiatric facility, as well as foundational relationships in her past that connect with her struggles in the present time. If you are reading this book for the details of her break up with her ex-husband, you’re in the wrong place. That’s not what this book is.

The book starts with the author's arrival at the inpatient facility. She details how she had been battling with depression and anxiety, which culminated in an eating disorder and severe suicidal ideation. One of the first topics, which will become a theme throughout the rest of the book, is Tendler’s apprehensiveness when it comes to men. She doesn’t want male doctors and she likes to live in a house that is exclusively for women during her time at the facility.

As the book progresses, Tendler details a number of past relationships that provide insight into how she ended up where she is. Through these anecdotes, we also learned more about the author herself and her journey outside of these men. I found the parts about her career journey to be particularly interesting, as I had only known of her work as an artist and had no context for anything that came before that.

Tendler speaks very straightforwardly about her experiences with self harm and also about the aspects of her life impacted by the men she talks about. The chapter that talks about her relationship with the older man in the band was one that felt particularly relatable to me and, I think, to a lot of other women. I also liked that, even though the book is kind of framed around the men in her life, it’s really a book about her own journey outside of men. The time she spends by herself, but also with her dog Petunia were some of the most impactful moments to me.

Ultimately, this book is a journey of self discovery, and where we end is with her simply continuing onward with all the progress she has made. I would really recommend this book, even if just for the way she puts into words the complications of being a woman existing within the patriarchy, but also as someone interested in a relationship with a man even as she has done work to de-center men from her life.

It's very difficult to review a memoir given that it is so personal and an account of someones real, lived experience, but I do believe that Anna Marie Tendler's strength in vulnerability and storytelling is absolutely worth speaking on and uplifting. While this memoir largely focuses on Tendler's two week stay in a psychiatric hospital in 2021, she also incorporates stories from different times in her life as she examines life under the patriarchy. She touches on some of the unequal relationships she has had with men as well as her own mental health issues.

Overall, this book was so vulnerable and one of the best memoirs I've read. Tendler's raw and real accounts of these various times in her life shine a light on mental health and relationship topics that many shy away from. I absolutely recommend this book to anyone who has struggled with navigating difficult relationships or with their mental health, as Tendler's strength and vulnerability is a welcome and necessary reminder of hope.

Please take care of yourself though and check trigger warnings for this book.

Thank you so much to the publisher and to NetGalley for the e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

"Men Have Called Her Crazy" by Anna Marie Tendler was a beautifully written and memorable memoir. The audience gets a glimpse into her mental health struggles, relationship, and life experiences which led to where she is today. It may not be an easy read for some, however, those curious about relationships, mental health, and the journey to healing, this may be the read for you. Thank you for sharing your story with us Anna Marie Tendler. Best of luck with your future successes!

Very interesting book but not at all what I was expecting. I guess I was hoping it would be a little bit dishier about her marriage to John Mulaney but the book elided that situation entirely. I also felt it left several other big questions unanswered, like what exactly happened with Dr. Karr and perhaps why she feels compelled to continue constantly pursuing relationships with men at all. Not bad by any means, but not what I thought it would be.

I would like to thank Net Galley for an ARC in exchange for my honest review!

This was a really wonderful memoir about the authors journey with mental health and the relationships throughout her life. It starts with a stay at a pshychiatric hospital after a very large life altering event adn then takes us on her healing journey. This book was very well written and gave us a look into the authors life. I really enjoyed her writing style of flipping between present day and then back to stories from earlier in her life to give us context on who and what shaped her life. I found this book refreshingly authentic, the author was extremely vulnerable with sharing this story . I really also enjoyed her writing about her bond with her dog Petunia.

Men Have Called Her Crazy was not what I expected, and I think that serves the book well. I imagine a lot of people will come to this looking for a no holds barred account of her divorce, but this is in fact a much softer yet more difficult read about mental health and all the ways the world around us does not serve us. I was pleasantly surprised with how much I liked this book, but there is just something slightly off-putting about reading someone else’s recollections of their therapy sessions.

I am so grateful I was able to get my hands on an arc of Anna’s book. I’ve been a fan for close to a decade, so when I heard she was writing a book, I was stoked.
Her writing is so real, I felt like I was listening to a friend tell me their life story. The topics were very heavy, and I had to stop myself from reading several times. Many memoirs I’ve read in the past often make me feel this way, this one included. Discussing her stay in a psychiatric hospital, her past relationships with men, and the grief of her beloved Petunia, it all choked me up.
I’m sure many people who’ve read the book and will read the book, will feel seen when they read the last few chapters of Anna discussing her journey with IVF and fertility treatments, along with her own journey back into the dating scene after divorce.
Raw, beautiful, and I cannot wait to reread the finalized version.

Thank you Simon & Schuster for allowing me to read the arc! And thank you to Anna Marie, for writing a wonderful memoir.

Reading memoirs is interesting work because you get to know a complete stranger on a truly intimate level: their thoughts, their feelings, their vices and victories. I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know Anna in this way. If we ever met in real life, we would talk and it would probably seem like we had very little in common. But, after reading “Men Have Called Her Crazy”, I feel connected to her in so many ways. I also have generalized anxiety disorder and unfathomable pet trauma and constant thoughts about what other people think about me and cats. I also like that she makes me think about things that truly matter yet never occupied my mind before. I should be thinking about how men truly don’t understand women and the effects that has on modern medicine and psychology. I should be thinking about the person I am in a relationship and the way I view that person. I should be thinking about what life might be like if I was completely and utterly alone and if I would be okay with that. I enjoyed Anna’s memoir because it proposed philosophical ideas such as these while feeling casual and quaint, like talking to a new friend over dinner. I like that she wrote a beautiful novel such as this, one that is simply just her thoughts and feelings and actions, no matter how dark or mundane. I aspire to one day write a similar memoir, one where I don’t have to accomplish an extraordinary feat, but one where I simply must learn who I am as a person.

I was so excited to see Men Have Called Her Crazy as an approved title on my NetGalley shelf. Shout out to Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for the ARC! Anna Marie Tendler is someone I really admire, both for her sincerity and for her ability to effectively express her experiences through her work. I found Men Have Called Her Crazy to be incredibly relatable, beautifully written, and a book that will stick with me for a long time to come.

This beautifully written memoir reckons with mental health and the expectations and pressures faced by women in the twenty first century. Tendler is an artist who in early 2021 checked into a psychiatric hospital for a one-week evaluation. She was suffering from severe anxiety, depression and self-harm (cutting and disordered eating). In Men Have Called Her Crazy, Tendler recounts her experience in the hospital interspersed with biographical information both before and after her hospitalization.

Several of these biographical snippets involve Tendler’s fraught relationships with men. For example, in chapter 6 she observes, “I cemented my role in relationships as a pleaser, a convincer, a girl who well into adulthood, would contort and conform to the desires of a man, overlooking his every dismissal, and dampening her self-worth, all to be loved.”

During her evaluation, her psychiatrist (Dr. Samuels) observed that Tendler suffered from strain trauma. He explained, “Strain trauma happens over long periods of time, when a person is put in an environment that consistently puts them in a state of anxious arousal.” In Tendler’s case this trauma is presumably due to her chaotic and adversarial early life experiences.

All well and good. Yet, her more recent life experiences would seem to have more than a little to do with her current mental health situation. Tendler married comedian John Mulaney in July 2014. Mulaney, a wildly talented writer and stand-up comic has had highly publicized issues with alcoholism, cocaine dependence and prescription drug addiction. He entered rehabilitation in September 2020 only to relapse in December of the same year – just before Tendler entered the hospital for her one-week evaluation.

The other lacuna in the book concerns the author’s presumption that she speaks for women as a monolithic category. Tendler is writing about women of a specific class, race and sexual orientation. There is no universality or overall message for those gendered female. Despite this omission, Tendler ultimately offers a message of hope as she learns to face hardships without trying to destroy herself.

Thank you to Netgalley and to Simon & Schuster for the ARC in exchange for this review.

Thank you Simon & Schuster for the arc!

I knew what to expect going into this book (no tea) and I was perfectly fine with that.

Instead, Tendler gave us insight into her journey in understanding and discovering the depths of her mental health through checking herself into a facility. By exploring her past and tying it to her present - Tendler bravely faces the demons of things that have historically dimmed her light, and made her out to feel crazy.

This was beyond vulnerable.
(Booktok review coming soon)