many people are going to pick up this book expecting it to be about the break down of Tendler’s relationship with John Mulaney. the truth is, it’s barely about it. if at all. Mulaney is never mentioned by name and Tendler (iconically) doesn’t give the reader the satisfaction of any information about their marriage. mostly just mentions that she’s getting a divorce.

instead what Tendler has done here is write a beautiful memoir about her mental health journey and discusses her time in a psychiatric hospital during the pandemic. the narrative shifts back and forth between her time spent there and the events in her life, especially with men, that have affected her and influenced her anxiety, depression, and self-harm.

one of my favorite things about this book is the way that Tendler writes about her relationship to the four other women who are in the hospital with her during her two week stay. it’s such an understated and beautiful look at deep connections that form from such an intimate and vulnerable experience.

this book is not perfect, but i so admire Tendler’s vulnerability and courage to share her experiences on the page. in many ways, this memoir was not at all what i expected but i love it so much more for that.

oh and p.s. petunia fans, grab your tissues.

I received an e-ARC copy of this book from Simon & Schuster through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you!

I’ve been a fan of Anna Marie Tendler’s writing since 2023 when I read her moving essay about the death of her dog, Petunia. I’ve been looking forward to this memoir since the announcement.

This books weaves in the story of Anna’s voluntary stay at a psychiatric retreat/hospital with stories of her romantic relationships. The elephant in the room is that Anna barely mentions her famous ex husband, John Mulaney. I understand that 99% of people who read this book will know about that relationship, and should be able to infer that she’s in the hospital in early 2021 at least partially because of the breakdown of that relationship. Still, I found myself wanting to know more about that relationship not because I wanted “the tea”, but I wanted to understand how she view herself and the world while in what I imagine would be the most life changing relationship of her life.

The most interesting relationship we get to learn about isn’t about any of the men, it’s the one with her mom. Her mom loves her dearly, but also seems to be the cause of a lot of Anna’s trauma. She’s Anna’s closest companion and also one of the villains of Anna’s story. I found it an amazing example of how people contain so many multitudes.

Overall, I did really enjoy Anna’s writing. I was deeply moved by some of the prose, and while the topics were difficult, I did enjoy being in Anna’s head. She’s very artistic, kind, a good friend, and views the world in an interesting way. I hope she continues to write more, and continues to put her art into the world.

Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for this ARC in exchange for an honest review. This review can also be found on Goodreads.

Wow. After devouring this in less than 6 hours last night and this morning, I needed a moment to properly digest. I wholeheartedly believe this book will help heal and bring comfort to anyone who has struggled with, or knows anyone who has struggled with, their mental health.

Men Have Called Her Crazy is unapologetically real and raw. Tendler bares her soul with readers and shares her experience with her mental health throughout her life. She is a natural writer that easily draws the reader in with her way of telling her story. I was constantly in awe of her strength, and I also felt empowered in my own mental health journey. I cried, I laughed, I resonated. This is truly one of the best books I have ever read.

I feel this is important to note...If you are reading this with the purpose of looking for the "tea" on John, don't read this book for the following reasons:
1. This is HER story and it is far more important than the gossip of years past. Also, that's a bit gross. Tendler's private life is not a spectacle to observe.
2. He's not mentioned once.

It is vital to mention that there are quite a bit of triggers in her story, including self harm (cutting) and suicidal ideation. While I believe this book is so important to share and read, it is also equally important to know if the deep topics covered are something you can digest safely as a reader. Take care of yourself when reading.

This memoir is very, very good. I think that Anna Marie Tendler has really built a little bit of a myth around herself- I don't think she has done it on purpose, or really even prefers to have this be the case- but her artistic style/taste, her public associations, and what she has chosen to share with us thus far have really put a lot of work in. When I began this memoir, I wondered how much of her image she was going to dismantle, and what would be left by the end of the book. What I was surprised by, was just how much I feel like her online presence and artwork and her memoir seemed to align just perfectly. Anna Marie's story is just about what you would expect it to be, in the sense that she seems like such a familiar friend. Her stories about her hospitalization, her home, her relationships, her reflections, are all incredibly vulnerable and honest, but they don't feel explosive. They just feel true. Her writing style brought so many of her experiences to life. There's some sad stuff in here, but also very funny and very poignant. There are a few anecdotes that I'm going to be thinking about for a really long time- a few from her time at the hospital, but also about her health and of course, Petunia. There's a chapter that's basically an ode to her and it's beautiful. Recently I saw that Anna Marie had posted on her instagram story that she was proud of this book because it was exactly what she wanted it to be, it turned out just the way she hoped it would. I think just by reading this book, that is very clear.

Thank you to the publisher for an advanced copy!

I flew through this memoir in spite of (or maybe because of?) a number of harrowing passages. Tendler's voice is engaging and raw. I struggled with the total omission of her ex-husband -- not because I was on the hunt for gossip, but because in a book that examines gendered relationships and is painfully honest, the total omission subverts expectations set up by the rest of the narrative. Still, I appreciated Tendler's reflections. It's a book by and about her, but you'll see yourself in it, too.

I love AMT's art and I knew I wanted to read this book as soon as possible. I read the e-book in one weekend, picking it up whenever I had a free moment. The writing is eloquent and lyrical, but not overly floral or sentimental. It is easy to get lost in this book and move quickly through each chapter. The structure is engaging. Chapters alternate between days at the hospital and AMT's life as an adolescent and young adult.

Her resilience and willingness to write so openly about her mental health struggles and progress is comforting. But this book isn't a happily ever after. The mental health struggles didn't suddenly go away. There seem to be almost as many women who have called her crazy as there are men.

And for anyone who has picked up this book looking for a juicy celebrity tell-all, you will be disappointed. While AMT does mention that she is married or going through a divorce, no names are ever mentioned. This isn't a Hollywood gossip book.

This book has AMPLE CW / TW: s*icidality, graphic self-harm and bodily injuries, SA, grooming behaviors (her former partners), IVF, the d*ath of a pet.

"This is a memoir about living with Borderline Personality Disorder," I said to my husband about 20% of the way into the book. By the end of the book, she mentions that this is one of the diagnoses she received while working through her inpatient treatment program.

Anna Marie Tendler wrote something incredibly brave. I do not know her personally, but I can empathize with the deep pain she related in her book. What struck especially hard was the nuanced perspective she brought to the complexities of her Mother wounds, to the brief and unstable respite she found in the arms of various boyfriends, and the downstream consequences of feeling rudderless in an (often) ruthless world. The need to keep the self small and safe. The preference to be entirely alone. The desire to be partnered and the loathing of men.

I felt like Anna Marie Tendler really highlighted the notion that we as humans need secure attachment, and the lack of this bond - in our formative years especially - can lead to various degrees of unraveling and general agony.
It shifted my perspectives pretty substantially regarding trauma, both in relation to my own experiences and how I view those around me. All in all, Anna Marie Tendler's book has offered me a perspective that leads with much more kindness. I feel that makes the book worth reading in itself. I immediately spoke to my therapist about this book because of the impact it had on my perspective - it helped me to put words to some of the experiences I've had.

This is not an exposé about John Mulaney - in fact, she never mentioned him by name. He doesn't deserve to be mentioned. I feel this book is a stride in the direction of selfhood, and unapologetically taking up space for HER.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RATE THIS! I don't think it's fair to rate a memoir?? I gave it a 4 but it's probably more around a 4.5????

This book was so much better than I expected. It was full of raw honesty and a lot of mental health and societal truths that resonate with me. It was kind of a free bit of therapy in a way, because a lot of the thoughts she had are mine and reading how she learned to cope helps me. That chapter on Petunia at the end was rough, but well done. The book is written in two timelines, with mostly every other chapter being in the past interspersed in the present, and I feel like it kept the book moving fast and intriguingly. I only got confused around chapter 15 when it wasn't as obvious they were two different time periods, but overall, phenomenal book.

This book was one of my most anticipated reads of 2024 since it was announced and I’m so glad I was able to read the ARC! Tendler’s memoir reads so much more like a novel than any memoir I’ve read. Her use of language, and order in which she tells events and slowly tells the reader more about her past, to me read fully as a coming of age novel, which made this quite the page turner. was heartbreaking, perfectly dry humor, and completely relatable all at the same time. I can’t wait to see what project the author takes on next, as this one was a true pleasure to experience. Thank you to NetGalley & Simon & Schuster for sending me this ARC.

You think you know what you are going to get from this book, but you will be very surprised. Instead of the gossip of a past hurt relationship, Anna leads the reader into her history of the hurt by many of men, the impact it had on her and the healing that came from not a human at all, but her pup. A very raw, real, blunt, brave memoir of trying to find and be herself in a world that men have built. I believe this is going to be a summer favorite for many women out there.

Thank you to NetGalley, Anna Marie Tendler and Simon and Schuster for the ARC!

Blessings on Anna Marie Tendler for being able to express her anxiety and depression in a such a readable memoir. I read through this book in record time. I empathized with her. I was cheering for her and her steps in recovery. I wish her the best in her life now and in the future as she continues to deal with the men in her life and her emotional issues.

Thanks to NetGalley for allowing me to read and review Men Have Called Her Crazy.

Breathtakingly vulnerable 🥹 This book swept me off my feet and is perfect for fans of Prozac Nation, Girl Interrupted, and I’m Glad My Mom Died.

Readers going into Tendler’s book expecting a drama filled tell-all will not find what they’re looking for instead Tendler looks inward to explore her time in a psychiatric hospital, her mental health, and relationship with the patriarchy as a whole. In doing this, she is able to give a voice to several of the common fears, anxieties, and experiences that make up womanhood under the patriarchy.

I found this read especially insightful from my own experiences as a counselor and I know I will be revisiting this book when the audiobook is out ☺️

Rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟♾️

Thank you to Anna Marie Tendler, Simon & Schuster publishing, and NetGalley for providing me with an eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review 🥰

This book combines the raw rage of a woman who has dealt with mental illness and how her life has been shaped by that. The reflection of past experiences with men is contrasted with the hospitalization with other women and the short but impactful friendship that grows between them. This memoir was relatable, angry, and desperate to be heard.

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for this highly anticipated ARC!

After reading Men Have Called Her Crazy, I felt seen. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression since I was young and at the height of Covid I was hospitalized for my mental health. When I saw the blurb for this book, I knew I needed to read it immediately.

Anna’s writing is beautifully honest and I loved reading her memoir. She writes of heartbreak and pain in such an eloquent way. I truly can’t say a bad thing about this book.

I highly recommend reading Men Have Called Her Crazy, especially if a man has ever made you feel your emotions aren’t valid. Anna, you are an incredibly strong person and thank you for sharing your story with us ❤️

Anna. Marie. Tendler.

As soon as I saw the announcement of this book, I had to get my hands on it and I’m so glad I did!!! I also ordered a signed copy. 😋

First off, she has an extensive and insane vocabulary. But in a way that isn’t grandiose and annoying. I love her writing and will read anything else she writes.

Tendler describes her experiences with men, dating, growing up, friendships, therapy, hospitalization, depression, anxiety, and her precious pup PETUNIA!!!

She describes her time in a psychiatric hospital in 2021. While discussing her time with the doctors, she reflects on previous relationships and situations throughout her life that have brought her to this hospital. She opens up so much about her feelings, past, and eating disorder, and struggles with self-harm. Her friends and the girls she lives with in Dalby make an incredible support system for her.

As many women know, dealing with and trusting men and doctors is extremely complicated. Manipulation, condescension, gaslighting… Anna discusses her experience with every awful man and doctor. She gets reasonably mad! However, her anxiety and pure kindness often get in the way of her standing up for herself for fear of being seen as mean or bad. On the other hand though, she is extremely critical of men. She has no fear expressing this hatred and is quite adamant that all men are garbage.

Although she does share an extensive amount of information on her past relationships, do not go into this expecting to get the tea on her marriage and divorce. Her ex-husband is not mentioned by name and there are no in-depth details regarding the divorce. I was shocked to find this but I also feel like it’s a powerful move to keep these details private or to discuss them indirectly. Why waste your time or give space to things and people who don’t deserve it??!! I’m also sure than discussing this relationship would not be easy. I did, however, pick up on the possible implications of her ex’s drug addiction and the effect it had on her.

It’s a somewhat heavy read but I was up past midnight for two nights because I could not stop reading. I was sobbing in bed last night at the end of the book saying “This isn’t fair” and “I hate this book.” 😂

In the end, friendship, therapy, and Petunia help her gain strength and courage to keep going. She is a successful artist, an official badass, and now an author. I’m so happy for her!

Anna Marie Tendler’s memoir was one of my most anticipated books of the year, and I am still shocked that I somehow got an ARC of it.

This is a book about Tendler’s journey with her mental health and recovery, NOT a full rundown of the breakdown of her marriage and her divorce. She never mentions John by name, and only talks about him a few times. I think given the fact that most of the book’s chapters switch between her experiences during inpatient psych treatment and her past relationships with men, the absence of their marriage from her story does feel glaring. I understand why she may not have wanted to write about it, and I’m sure it’s healthier for her to not have to rehash what is clearly a painful memory, but it is odd within the context of how the book is laid out to not include her longest relationship.

Tendler is a very compelling storyteller. I liked the format of the book with its alternating chapters and timelines. I also finished this book within 3 days, reading just over half of it in a single day. It was easy to get drawn into her writing.

I don’t read memoirs very often, and obviously you can’t criticize the direction of the plot or the actions of the characters in a nonfiction book the way you can with nonfiction, so I don’t want to focus on that. However, I do wish that more of this book had focused on how she healed after going to inpatient. The most recent events of the book were such a short time ago and just because of that the ending feels not fully resolved (though of course that isn’t Tendler’s fault). I do wonder what a new afterword for this book could look like a few years from now.

Overall I really enjoyed reading this. The experiences described here were valuable and full of insight, and I was very moved by all she’d been through and the fact that she wanted to share her story. I would love to know the process of actually writing this book and how she was able to recount so many difficult experiences in such a well-written way.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing an ARC of this book.

This book was exquisitely written. It makes sense that it would be when you look at Tendler’s art. It feels like she took the time to find the perfect word to describe what she was feeling. I loved the writing so much that I’ll read anything else she writes.

This is a very good book. I enjoyed it, but not as much as I expected. I didn’t really care about John Mulaney, but the lack of the marriage and divorce hurt this one. She was depressed, self harming, and suicidal, which is why she checked into the hospital. It was also during the pandemic, her husband famously went into rehab and her life was falling down around her. As she herself said, the majority of her financial situation over the years was her husband. There is no way that her marriage didn’t have any effect on her feelings towards men. I would have been perfectly happy if she just gave the bare bones and used “my ex”. I don’t want to hear the dirt, but I felt I wasn’t getting a full picture of how she got to the point she’d gotten to. A decade long marriage obviously leaves a mark.

Her dislike of men was so clearly evident and she never seems to care to hear anyone else’s point on the subject. It’s just “men suck”. I was hoping for more understanding and clarity on her part.

This is definitely worth a read, but take some time to truly appreciate the writing and the honesty involved in this. I will always be rooting for her.

RIP Petunia.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC, all opinions are my own.

Regardless of her notoriety by association of her ex husband, Tendler is determined to make a name for herself in this beautifully raw and vulnerable memoir.
The memoir is mainly formatted by two predominant timelines. One is from her time in the beginning of the pandemic when she is hospitalized due to suicidal ideation, self harm, anxiety, and her eating disorder, along with other mental health struggles. She alternates chapters between her stay and the hospital and the past. During these vignettes, she details her relationship with certain men in her life who have impacted her, no matter how big or small.
The lack of mention of her famous ex husband is very notable, yet felt purposefully artistic. I obviously do wish there was conversation about the ending of her marriage as it felt like a huge aspect of her relationship with men as a species was missing.
My biggest critique other than the absence of Mulaney’s impact is that there topic of the novel seemed less about Anna Marie’s difficult relationship with men and more about her battle through her own mental illnesses. This is not to say that it was an unwelcome diversion, because it was truly a magnificent work. My criticism is that it is possibly mismarketed.
Men Have Called Me Crazy is an amazing first work for Tendler with beautiful prose and is truly a triumph.

I’ve adored Anna Marie Tendler for a long time now, and when I heard about this book it became my most anticipated read of the year. This book felt like a sit down with a close friend to catch up about life. How she portrayed her mental health journey interwoven in with her life experiences was so impactful. I’m really grateful for the opportunity to have read this book.

Thank you to Simon & Schuster for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

Men Have Called Her Crazy by Anna Marie Tendler was a heartfelt, emotional, and beautifully crafted story of her life and mental health journey. Despite talking about mental health, therapy, and other issues alongside those; she never devolves into therapy speech, nor self help. In reading Men Have Called Her Crazy, it felt like sitting across from a long loved friend at a coffee shop and listening to them share their story of the past few years. You laugh, cry, get scared, mad, and smile at her beautiful and caring storytelling. She crafts such a strong narration you can almost smell and touch parts of her life.
From the title you can tell that she will speak on her experiences with the patriarchy and how she feels about her life experiences as a woman. At the end you can tell her emotions have changed on how to approach it and how she speaks on it, much of her anger and rage towards individual men have passed, and replaced by a hunger to continue to break the barriers that have been set up by the patriarch.
She is critical of everyone in her life however, so don’t be fooled it is solely a critique towards men. She shows the good and the bad parts of therapy and psychology, including that the professionals in charge of your health, can very easily damage it and make it worse, and are not all perfect. As well as how many of the professionals in the psychology and mental health field could do better in involving patients (especially adult patients like Anna) in their own care.

This book has many triggers, and isn’t for the faint of heart or those not in a well mental space (or who hate to hear complaints and anger towards the patriarchy.)

Hearing Anna talk about her life and experiences of the past few years brought me to tears several times, and I hope she is still doing wonderfully. Thank you Anna, for sharing a hard story that I am sure was hard but rewarding to write, thank you to Simon and Schuster and Netgalley for the ARC, I cannot wait to buy a physical copy of this book.