This was an unflinching, stirring memoir, the account of Tendler’s mental health throughout her life, especially focused on 2021-present. Her writing was sharp, brave, and, I would imagine, quite healing for her. Readers looking for tea on her marriage to John Mulaney won’t find it here; her marriage is barely acknowledged or mentioned. I admired this choice as this memoir seems to be reclaiming herself, though, as the title suggests, much of the book does center on her relationships with several other ex-boyfriends. Overall, I found this to be compelling and courageous. I’ve admired Tendler as an artist for many years, and I hope this is the start of a long literary career for her.

Thanks to NETGALLEY and Simon & Schuster for eARC // Further thanks given to S&S and Ingrid Carabulea for e-mailing me an invitation to read this memoir.

Okay, but...this isn't parallel universe me, right? xD Because at times, I honestly felt like I was reading about self. I even paused to say as much to my husband, it was that uncanny. Which of course made for a unique read for me, one I thoroughly fell into and adored and fretted over and related to and cried over and, and, and. I flipping LOVE Tendler's approach, writing style, and timeline. The dark and yummy cover gives Sleeping Beauty vibes, and I'm here for it. Tendler has such tantalizing and interesting backgrounds! She could easily write more memoirs. Actually, Anna, would you kindly write more? Plzktnxbai! I looked up the artists, books, etc referenced and at one point listened to R Carlos Nakai whilst reading. I promptly added "The Hotel New Hampshire" by John Irving book to my TBR.

If you're only intrigue into this raw exposure is with the hope of gossip about her ex-husband, you will be devastatingly, sorely disappointed. He doesn't even get named, and not much more beyond (paraphrasing) "my divorce".

Burn the patriarchy.


QUOTES (truthfully, I highlighted, like, 75% of this gem) :

[ 'At this point tears begin to fall from my eyes, not because I am sad or angry, but because I have never had these dueling aspects of my personality mirrored back to me in such a matter-of-fact way. I have, at so many times in my life, felt unknowable, but here I am having me explained to me as it feels to be me. One three-hour test and I finally have objective words to demystify a tumultuous and ambivalent life experience.' ]

[ 'I am messier than I once was, emotionally speaking, but I’m a little messier in life, too. I don’t always get everywhere exactly on time, I don’t always respond to an email in a timely fashion, I’m not as concerned with potting the plant perfectly. I get tired easily. I like a lot of alone time. I’m not married anymore. I don’t have a dog anymore. I won’t live my life only to make someone else happy.' ]

I have been a fan of the author for quite a while but I only knew a little part about her. I now know more and am grateful for the chance to read this magnificent work. I have felt alone for a lot of my life and now I feel like there is someone who understands what I and other women are going through. The entire book was like an eye opening experience into a world I both know and loathe but have to somehow exist in it. I am so grateful to have gotten the chance to read this and hope everyone reads it.

This is an excellent memoir and I hope it was healing for Anna Marie to write. It is authentic and vulnerable and honest and very well-written. Tendler alternates back and forth between January 2021 where she is participating in a residential psychiatric program and various relationships with men throughout her life. Because of this, my one gripe with the book is that there is basically zero mention of or discussion of her relationship with John Mulaney—I totally understand the personal (and perhaps legal) reasoning for this but the nosy part of me is still curious. Though I’m not sure if Tendler would write more beyond this, I would absolutely love to read it. Her journey with her mental health, her female friendships, her analysis of patriarchal society and her deep love for Petunia (RIP) made this a very special read.

Wonderful insight into mental health and acceptance. Getting help is hard - admitting you need it is even harder. I love the vulnerability and strength shown in this book. I would definitely recommend, despite the topics in the book can be a bit sensitive or triggering, so it might not be for everyone.

Incredible, vulnerable, poignant and moving.

Anna Marie Tendler describes her experience at a mental health hospital for a week long intensive program for anxiety, depression, self harm and suicidal ideation. The story is initial told in two timelines - the present at the hospital, and pivotal points in her life that shaped her along the way, including some of her former relationships.

Anna also shares a lot about her emotional connection and reliance on her French bulldog Petunia and her thoughts about her mortality - I connected deeply to this section.

Anna has a famous ex husband, and if you think you’ll get fodder about her former relationship, you are mistaken. There are a few mentions about her marriage but nothing specific. I believe that Anna wrote a deeply compelling book without including this aspect of her life. I respect and appreciate her decision not to do so.

I think this is a book that many people will talk about after its release. It’s very thought provoking and vulnerable. A must read in my opinion!

As soon as I heard Anna Marie Tendler was releasing a book, I made sure I would read it one way or another. Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC because I could not put it down. The chapters are perfectly flowing between childhood and modern day.

Though many may know her due to her now ex-husband, she is more than that and deserves her flowers without him. It was up to her how much she talked about their relationship, not us, the readers. She limited how much she shared about their marriage, and that, again, is her choice.

She is an inspiration, being able to continue creatively while going through so much mentally, physically and emotionally. The way she desrcibes her conneticuit home, it felt like I was right there with her in the dark painted rooms. The love she has for her dog, Petunia is so sweet and I appreciate her honesty how she said she was financially able to care for her as much as she did.

When she talks about her mom and how she would get upset about Anna wanting to see her dad, really hit the heartstrings. She has been through so much in her life, and as the title suggests, it was the men that made her doubt her feelings. So many women can relate to the line "men have called her crazy". The fact that she specifcally tells the center she does not want to be around men speaks volumes. One of her exes says she has misandry (a hatred of men), but no, no she does not. When you read what she has been through, of course you question trusting the opposite sex.

I can go on and on, but please, read this book, tell your friends. I could not put it down and wish her so much success with this and her other outlets of creativity.

During the pandemic, many people were struggling with their mental health. Existing issues were exacerbated by isolation and the fear of uncertainty. In “Men Have Called Her Crazy,” the author Anna Marie Tendler shares that she has struggled with her mental health since she was a teenager and started cutting at age 14. In January 2021, she voluntarily checks herself into a facility for help since she’s cutting again and having suicidal ideation. The only thing she feels she wants to live for is her chronically ill French bulldog. The book jumps back and forth from her stay at the facility and to several key moments in her life before and after her stay. One of the biggest themes was Tendler’s relationships with men, most of them not particularly healthy and leading her to distrust men completely by her mid 30s. She also struggles to find a sense of purpose in life, often struggling early on to find some sort of meaningful work for herself. Instead, a young Anna often does whatever best pleases her partner, to her own mental detriment. It’s only after her mental health care stay that she starts feeling appreciated for her own artistry and earns enough to support herself. Woven throughout the book, is also her strong relationships with her female friends that she meets throughout her life. If any of this sounds relatable or interest to you, I’d recommend the book. Tendler is a gifted storyteller. Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.

Rating 5/5

Anna Marie Tendler is THE MOMENT.

Men Have Called Her Crazy is raw, touching, and a true ode to womanhood - more importantly, mentally ill women. This memoir details Anna’s stay at a psychiatric hospital, navigating her life after her divorce, and her journey towards self-acceptance. I felt connected to her right away. I understood her pain, but I also laughed at her humor throughout all of it. Her writing is tender and witty. It feels like talking with a friend. She is intelligent and honest in the way she recounts her experiences. I loved this book and it felt like it came at the perfect moment for me.

**Many many thanks to Netgalley, the publishers, and Anna Marie Tendler for providing this ARC!!**

This book really surprised me in a lovely way. It hardly touches on her divorce directly at all, which is what I was expecting the book to largely be about. Instead what you get is a painfully honest account of her time in a mental health facility after a long period of struggling with intense anxiety, depression and self-harm.

She goes back and forth between her time in the facility and all the people she met there and then through several relationships with men that were formative for her growing up. I really appreciated the vulnerability she showed in telling these stories and I enjoyed her writing and way of telling the story.

I do wish she had touched on her divorce and that relationship a little more, because in the picture she’s building of her life, that’s a big chunk that’s missing in the story. But I’m sure that was intentional and maybe that will be for another book another day.

Overall I really enjoyed this book, though!

Thank you to Anna Marie Tendler, Netgalley and the publisher for this ARC!

A gut wrenching and relatable memoir that explores power dynamics, vulnerability, and relationships enveloped through a mental health lens.
Dealing with a variety of toxic people throughout her life, Anna Marie Tendler provides anecdotes of these situations utilizing a past and present timeline throughout the book. Her stories reflect the struggle of relationships between men she has dated, her mother, and even her therapist.
She goes on a path of self discovery to understand and reflect on how power dynamics influenced her relationships.

First of all, I thank the author for her frank, unflinching portrayal of her mental health struggles. This book was clearly a labor, but one that reflected healing and a positive mindset.
Overall, I enjoyed this memoir and felt Anna was digging into the marrow of her past. At times, this meant the writing was a little cynical and pessimistic, but clearly it came from a place of self-reflection and deep understanding of the self.
At times, I felt the author repeated herself and the quotations from doctors or old boyfriends reflected an ultimate understanding of the conversation, and not the real words said. I was willing to overlook this as a difference of editing styles.
I enjoyed this book and thank the publishers for the opportunity to review the ARC. it is an important book for young women.

This is a great biography/memoir that feels universally relatable in a lot of ways. I follow Anna Marie Tendler on Instagram, so the amazing photographs she creates and the bits of her life she shares are the extent of my exposure to her. That's enough to find her very interesting, so when I saw she was coming out with a book and it was on NetGalley, I had to try to get it and I'm glad I did.

This is a soul-bearing book that explores her experience with mental health issues, men, her upbringing, her relationship with her parents, and the possibility of motherhood. She shares her 2-week check-in into a psychiatric hospital after a year of depression, self-harm, and suicidal ideation, and what she got out of it. She also talks about her relationships with men before and after her divorce, but she doesn't get into her relationship with her ex-husband, so if you're hoping for some tea on that, that's not what this book is about.

Overall, I think this can be very relatable to a lot of women and while I didn't agree with all of her opinions, I understood how she came to those opinions, and appreciate the strength in speaking so honestly about her life.

I want to start by saying that this was beautifully written and as someone who deals with mental health issues on a daily basis it was refreshing to finally see someone put how I feel into words.

Anna Marie Tendler bravely shares her experiences through some of the hardest years of her life. Inpatient treatment, divorce, coping with the death of a loved pet. I want to put emphasis on the word brave. It is not easy to share this information with people you are close with, let alone the literal entire world and for that I want to commend her.

I didn’t know much about Anna before picking this up, I knew about her beloved Petunia and her past marriage like many others who pick up this book will have. “Men Have Called Her Crazy” is raw and incredibly open look at growing up and having to deal with difficult and traumatic experiences, having to process those in the future, and how they can effect you for the rest of your life. She talks candidly about her suicidal ideation, which will be jarring for some but I believe is incredibly important and I am glad she included all the details that she has.

The ending is hopeful, grief and the pain and depression that comes along with a life full of trauma may never go away fully. But learning how to deal with those feelings in a way that works best for you will help you to see the end of the tunnel.

Again I cannot recommend this book enough and I am excited to follow Anna’s journey from here.

Thank you for the e-ARC copy, Simon & Schuster in exchange for an honest review!

The first thing I really want to note is that while this book hits some heavy topics, it's also incredibly approachable. Not only that but I've been bothered by some folks referring to this as a "celebrity memoir". Tendler was only known as a "celebrity" to people due to her ex-husband and now, having become a well respected artist and hopefully, once this comes out, a celebrated writer; so what happens when the thing that made you most visible to the world, is no longer the thing that it once was?

The thing to be clear on is that if you intend on reading this book, you should know Mulaney is barely if ever mentioned; some people might be disappointed in that (maybe it's an NDA issue or part of their divorce agreement?) but I think there's a HUGE amount of power in making that choice to remove him from Anna's larger narrative. Cause while he may not be directly referred to, he's still lingering in the corner, an almost omniscient presence.

This books begins with Anna’s voluntary stay at an in-patient psychiatric treatment center, on the heals of that very famous relationship falling a part. Interwoven with her time in treatment, is her history with men, focusing on romantic entanglements but also highlighting how generally men informed and overwhelmed her worldview on love and the love she believed she was deserving of. We also meet the women she is in treatment with (my favorite relationship in this book), along with her beloved dog Petunia (may her memory be for a blessing) and her mother, who seems to have come a long way from the controlling, angry parent she once was.

I zoomed through this book and throughly enjoyed Anna's prose and dark humor. I really hope she keeps writing because I will happily be waiting to see what's next from her.

This memoir is not what I was expecting—it is so much more and so much better. For a book that focuses so much on relationships and the ways that men have impacted Tendler’s mental health and worldview, this book remains incredibly focused on her and her journey. It is grounded in relationships with other women and the support networks that helped her during the deepest lows of her mental health journey. This book is absolutely beautiful and I believe everyone should read it.

many people are going to pick up this book expecting it to be about the break down of Tendler’s relationship with John Mulaney. the truth is, it’s barely about it. if at all. Mulaney is never mentioned by name and Tendler (iconically) doesn’t give the reader the satisfaction of any information about their marriage. mostly just mentions that she’s getting a divorce.

instead what Tendler has done here is write a beautiful memoir about her mental health journey and discusses her time in a psychiatric hospital during the pandemic. the narrative shifts back and forth between her time spent there and the events in her life, especially with men, that have affected her and influenced her anxiety, depression, and self-harm.

one of my favorite things about this book is the way that Tendler writes about her relationship to the four other women who are in the hospital with her during her two week stay. it’s such an understated and beautiful look at deep connections that form from such an intimate and vulnerable experience.

this book is not perfect, but i so admire Tendler’s vulnerability and courage to share her experiences on the page. in many ways, this memoir was not at all what i expected but i love it so much more for that.

oh and p.s. petunia fans, grab your tissues.

I received an e-ARC copy of this book from Simon & Schuster through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you!

I’ve been a fan of Anna Marie Tendler’s writing since 2023 when I read her moving essay about the death of her dog, Petunia. I’ve been looking forward to this memoir since the announcement.

This books weaves in the story of Anna’s voluntary stay at a psychiatric retreat/hospital with stories of her romantic relationships. The elephant in the room is that Anna barely mentions her famous ex husband, John Mulaney. I understand that 99% of people who read this book will know about that relationship, and should be able to infer that she’s in the hospital in early 2021 at least partially because of the breakdown of that relationship. Still, I found myself wanting to know more about that relationship not because I wanted “the tea”, but I wanted to understand how she view herself and the world while in what I imagine would be the most life changing relationship of her life.

The most interesting relationship we get to learn about isn’t about any of the men, it’s the one with her mom. Her mom loves her dearly, but also seems to be the cause of a lot of Anna’s trauma. She’s Anna’s closest companion and also one of the villains of Anna’s story. I found it an amazing example of how people contain so many multitudes.

Overall, I did really enjoy Anna’s writing. I was deeply moved by some of the prose, and while the topics were difficult, I did enjoy being in Anna’s head. She’s very artistic, kind, a good friend, and views the world in an interesting way. I hope she continues to write more, and continues to put her art into the world.

Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for this ARC in exchange for an honest review. This review can also be found on Goodreads.

Wow. After devouring this in less than 6 hours last night and this morning, I needed a moment to properly digest. I wholeheartedly believe this book will help heal and bring comfort to anyone who has struggled with, or knows anyone who has struggled with, their mental health.

Men Have Called Her Crazy is unapologetically real and raw. Tendler bares her soul with readers and shares her experience with her mental health throughout her life. She is a natural writer that easily draws the reader in with her way of telling her story. I was constantly in awe of her strength, and I also felt empowered in my own mental health journey. I cried, I laughed, I resonated. This is truly one of the best books I have ever read.

I feel this is important to note...If you are reading this with the purpose of looking for the "tea" on John, don't read this book for the following reasons:
1. This is HER story and it is far more important than the gossip of years past. Also, that's a bit gross. Tendler's private life is not a spectacle to observe.
2. He's not mentioned once.

It is vital to mention that there are quite a bit of triggers in her story, including self harm (cutting) and suicidal ideation. While I believe this book is so important to share and read, it is also equally important to know if the deep topics covered are something you can digest safely as a reader. Take care of yourself when reading.

This memoir is very, very good. I think that Anna Marie Tendler has really built a little bit of a myth around herself- I don't think she has done it on purpose, or really even prefers to have this be the case- but her artistic style/taste, her public associations, and what she has chosen to share with us thus far have really put a lot of work in. When I began this memoir, I wondered how much of her image she was going to dismantle, and what would be left by the end of the book. What I was surprised by, was just how much I feel like her online presence and artwork and her memoir seemed to align just perfectly. Anna Marie's story is just about what you would expect it to be, in the sense that she seems like such a familiar friend. Her stories about her hospitalization, her home, her relationships, her reflections, are all incredibly vulnerable and honest, but they don't feel explosive. They just feel true. Her writing style brought so many of her experiences to life. There's some sad stuff in here, but also very funny and very poignant. There are a few anecdotes that I'm going to be thinking about for a really long time- a few from her time at the hospital, but also about her health and of course, Petunia. There's a chapter that's basically an ode to her and it's beautiful. Recently I saw that Anna Marie had posted on her instagram story that she was proud of this book because it was exactly what she wanted it to be, it turned out just the way she hoped it would. I think just by reading this book, that is very clear.

Thank you to the publisher for an advanced copy!