I read this in one night and a lot of it resonated with me. From her experiences with older men to her sometimes tumultuous relationship with her mother, I related very deeply. At some points, it was clear that this book was Anna’s therapeutic output. At some times, it felt like she would let you in as a reader, and then go back to keeping you at arm’s length. You can feel her hurt, anger, and disdain pouring through the pages of her book. Anna did very well for her breakthrough memoir and it was lovely to see her perspective of what I’ve seen play out as an outsider. Thank you to the publisher, Simon & Schuster for allowing me to experience the book early.

Men Have Called Her Crazy is Anna Marie Tendler’s memoir in which she deals with mental health issues and the patriarchal society we live in. We follow Anna to a psychiatric hospital following a year of unhealthy coping mechanisms for anxiety and depression. We follow her journey as she takes assessment after assessment and numerous therapy sessions. We watch as she creates connections with the girls she meets while there.

Juxtaposed with her hospital stay, we are taken on a tour of tortured romances past. We see the relationships that form Anna’s distrust of men. We see how those relationships shaped her adulthood and watch her make important life choices like freezing her eggs while her friends are starting families.

Like all memoirs, I thank Anna for the courage to tell her story in her own words. She owed no one a look at her stay in the hospital and her history of mental health issues, but she gave it to us. I loved the exploration of her hospital stay. The comforting mundanity she experienced and the girls she met and instantly bonded with. I think those were some of the strongest chapters in the book. The female solidarity runs deep.

The chapters where we explore Anna’s past relationships at once compelling, quickly turn repetitive around the last 30% of the book. I feel she discounts all the work she does in the first 60% of the book by bringing a woe is me attitude into the writing. I understand that men, as thought of by the gender binary, are the root of most if not all societies problems. However, the I hate men discourse included in this memoir feels counterproductive. Saying this is no way shape or form of me discounting the abuse she endured at the hands of men, I believe her and every horrific story she’s told. I just feel she could have done more of an inward take on the issue and not just a surface level take. We all hate men I just wish it were spoken in the beauty the first 60% of the book were.

Another major issue I had with this memoir is Anna’s lack of awareness of her privilege. She attempts to acknowledge class privilege at certain points throughout the memoir, I just feel, once again it was spoken with more depth.

Overall I liked, but did not love this one. I am thankful to Netgalley and Simon & Shuster for the ARC!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC!

Full Rating: 3.75 stars rounded up

Anna Marie Tendler's "Men Have Called Her Crazy" is a candid, raw exploration of mental health, gender dynamics, and personal trauma. Tendler's stream-of-consciousness style is fresh, witty, and darkly humorous, offering a poignant reflection on her struggles with anxiety and depression. Her narrative seamlessly jumps between past and present, providing a layered insight into her deep mistrust of the world around her.

From the very first page, Tendler hooks readers with her evocative prose and brutally honest introspection. She addresses the "good girl complex" and its manifestation in her life, even in places like psych wards. This exploration is represented by standout passages about her time in the psych ward: “Most of my life, my outward presentation has not matched my inward reality, but with my body gaunt, my face droopy and puffy at the same time, I'm forcing the outside world to confront a more honest - and probably scary - version of my mental state.”

One of the book's strongest elements is its portrayal of feminine solidarity. Tendler’s experiences with the other women in her treatment facility highlight the complexities of female relationships, marred by her initial anxieties but eventually offering a form of solace and understanding. This camaraderie is beautifully illustrated, yet the lingering effects of her anxieties persist, capturing a very real struggle many readers can relate to.

However, while the book shines in many areas, it has its shortcomings. Tendler’s aversion to men and the subsequent exploration of her past relationships with them are compelling but become repetitive towards the end. The narrative's focus on her relationships post-hospital feels like a shift from insightful mental illness analysis to a more straightforward "I hate men and my life sucks" sentiment. This pivot diminishes the earlier depth of her reflections.

Moreover, Tendler's acknowledgment of her privilege, or lack thereof, is a glaring omission. Her ability to renovate a home to a "haunting Victorian mansion" post-divorce highlights a class privilege that goes unacknowledged, leaving a gap in the narrative. A simple acknowledgment of this privilege could have added a layer of depth and awareness to her story.

Despite these critiques, Tendler’s exploration of trauma, especially regarding her "good girl complex" and control issues, is both enlightening and relatable. Her poignant reflections on how these issues have shaped her life and relationships are some of the book's most compelling aspects. For instance, her reflection, “I cemented my role in relationships as a pleaser, a convincer, a girl who, well into adulthood, would contort and conform to the desires of a man, overlooking his easy dismissal, and dampening her self-worth, all to be loved,” is a powerful commentary on the internalized struggles many women face.

In conclusion, "Men Have Called Her Crazy" is a mixed bag. Tendler's writing is undeniably powerful and evocative, particularly when discussing her time in the hospital and her struggles with mental health. However, the narrative's latter sections and overall lack of class consciousness make it fall short of its potential. This book will likely resonate with readers who appreciate raw, introspective narratives and those who relate to Tendler’s experiences. Compelling and beautifully written in parts, “Men Have Called Her Crazy” ultimately lacked the cohesion and depth needed to make it a standout memoir in my mind.

📖 Recommended For: Readers who appreciate raw, introspective narratives, Admirers of Stream-of-Consciousness Writing Styles, Those Interested in Exploring Gender Dynamics and Trauma, Fans of Jennette McCurdy’s “I’m Glad My Mom Died.”

🔑 Key Themes: Mental Health and Recovery, Feminine Solidarity, Good Girl Complex and Control Issues, Gender Dynamics and Trauma, Self-Discovery and Personal Growth.

Content / Trigger Warnings: Self Harm (severe), Suicidal Thoughts (severe), Eating Disorder (minor), Mental Illness (severe), Alcohol Abuse (minor), Sexual Harassment (minor), Adult-Minor Relationship (severe), Divorce (minor), Harry Potter Reference (minor), Burglary (minor), Grooming (minor), Terrorism (minor), Toxic Relationship (moderate), Infidelity (minor), Substance Abuse (minor), Sexual Content (minor), Animal Death (severe).

Well, like so many people, I knew Anna Marie by her social media, so, when I found out she has written a book, I wanted to read it as soon as possible.
From the beginning to the end, this book is incredible interesting. From her days on a mental institution, the friendship that forged with a group of women in there (whom I came to admire so much), all her inner work in the outside, her past and present with men, her life with Petunia (I came to love her, too), her career as a successful artist, and life in general. Also, Anna is very articulate and eloquent with her writing, and her insights shows what a smart woman she is, which makes the reading even more delightful. And the ending left me sobbing. So, nothing but admiration and big congratulations to you, Anna, can't not thank enough to Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for this wonderful ARC, and hope I can read another work by Anna in the (near) future.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I am a fan of Tendler’s art, so I knew I had to read this book and I’m so glad I had the chance to!

Tendler gives an honest and heartbreaking account of her 2021 hospital stay, as well as pivotal moments throughout her life. I can’t recommend this book enough, it’s raw and gives a real look into how hard it can be to handle trauma and grief.

I loved this book. It was so well written and a lot of what Tendler had to say was actually quite relevant to my own experiences. I can’t recommend this book enough!

if you picked this book up hoping for a tell all, you will be incredibly disappointed. if you picked this book up hoping for an exploration of mental health and the patriarchy, you’re in for a satisfying and wild ride.

i will admit, as a casual fan of Anna’s ex-husband, i was excited to learn about their relationship (i am a nosey bitch, shoot me). but when i began reading, i knew i was about to experience something entirely different. it’s triggering, upsetting, and difficult but also enlightening, hopeful, and inspirational. i really enjoyed learning about Anna’s experiences. you don’t need to know anything about her (or her ex) to connect with the humanity of this memoir.

that being said, there were a couple things that bothered me in this book. i don’t mean to criticize Anna’s life choices or diminish her struggle, but she is very privileged which causes some parts to seem oblivious and out of touch. again, nothing against Anna but it’s hard to sympathize with someone who makes lampshades on her boyfriend’s budget.

this is a good memoir just remember that it IS a “celebrity” memoir (even if her fame is never mentioned).

thank you NetGally and the publishers for this ARC.

"I cemented my role in relationships as a pleaser, a convincer, a girl who, well into adulthood, would contort and confirm to the desires of a man."

"Here is the thing about men lying to woman while telling them they are crazy or overreacting. The lying, the underplaying on their side, makes us doubt our intuition or intelligence, so eventually when suspicions are confirmed, when we find out we have been right all along, we do go batshit fucking crazy. And it is warranted."

"I thought, "This will be fun, dating will be fun." It was not fun. Instead, what ensued was a series of unfortunate dates and romantic encounters that only reinforced my aversion to men."

This was so well done, Anna Marie Tendler has written something that I think will resonate with so many people. If you're looking for a tell-all of her divorce from John Mulaney, this book isn't it; in fact she references him only by mentioning her divorce. I'm about to be SO annoying about this memoir!!!

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for sending me this book!

Anna Marie Tendler's Men Have Called Her Crazy exceeded my expectations. For those hoping that this book would be filled with gossip from her divorce, this book is not tale, and is the better for it. Tendler's memoir is a moving exploration of grief, anxiety, and womanhood. She opens her book when she checks herself into a psychiatric hospital after a year of intense anxiety, depression, and self-harm, and we follow her two-week journey at the hospital and her recovery following, as well as anecdotes of her experience with men from her adolescence and young adulthood. It is a hard read, but rewarding and beautifully compassionate memoir. This book will stay with you.

As with everything Anna Marie Tendler creates, this book is a work of art. This was such a vulnerable glimpse into the last 3 years of her life and struggle through different states of mental health. I cried through most parts of it, relating deeply to many of her struggles and dynamics with family and friends. I was glad to read Anna’s story and not more about what the gossip sites discuss. This is fully her story from her teenager years through adulthood and while heartbreaking at times, it was also beautiful to read about what she overcame. This was one of my most anticipated books for this year and I’m so glad I was able to receive this ARC through NetGalley. I cannot wait for its full release to discuss with others!

It's been a long time since I have felt so seen reading a book - as if my own heart was talking back to me through the pages. This book was beautiful, heartbreaking, powerful, and deeply honest. Thank you, Anna, for sharing your experiences with us.

First I would like to thank Simon & Schuster for sending me an ARC of this book!

I have not devoured a book in a day quite like this one. I was gripped from the first page and didn’t let go until the last. Tendler’s raw emotion and honesty is a rarity in this day and age. People tend to clean up their thoughts and histories in an attempt to be the “perfect subject”, but Tendler is not interested in that. Her ability to be so open is what makes this memoir so incredible. Not to mention her pitch perfect writing. The chapter about Petunia made me sob like a little baby because Tendler made her feel like she wasn’t just her dog, but ours as well. We feel for her and absorb her feelings through the novel, which I believe to be a sign of a fantastic memoir.

Anna Marie Tendler writes a compelling memoir about a time that collectively was very hard for a lot of people -- the pandemic. Tendler writes in a way that is raw, a little self deprecating and extremely self-aware of what she is experiencing. She shines at sharing the female experience of being analyzed through the male lens -- especially from a phycological stand point. She steps out of her ex-husbands spotlight on her own platform of dealing with mental health struggles and really bravely shares her experience of her time in a psychiatric hospital. I appreciate Tendler's candidness and absolutely love her connection with the late, fabulous Petunia. I feel that every girls girl needs to read this book. I see a woman who has experienced and lived life and has had her heart broken. We all collectively are trying to understand our experiences. I feel Tendler writes in such a way that is relatable and is truly magical and most of all real. #MenHaveCalledHerCrazy #NetGalley

Maybe the best "celebrity" memoir I've ever read? Really dug the structure of this and how robust it felt. The fact that there wasn't any tea to report was such a smart choice. Anna truly taking the high road by what she doesn't mention (and by writing a really killer book). Absolutely sobbed my way through the penultimate chapter. This would pair exceptionally well with STRANGERS TO OURSELVES.

This is a really deep exploration of mental health, grief, and personal growth. Would also make a great companion to Kathleen Hanna’s Rebel Girl. Tendler compellingly navigates a very public crisis without ever naming or discussing her very famous ex, which is a powerful and effective decision. I appreciate that the cover and marketing seem to telegraph that this is not some kind of celebrity tell-all, but a deeply personal and well-written memoir.

I was very excited to receive this ARC. Thank you so much! I really resonated with her memoir. Many of her life events were eerily similar to my own. It was hard to read at some points because it was like holding up a mirror. I wish there was a little more joy or hopefulness in the writing.

I do think it's important to share stories like this one to show that putting your mental health is important and won't be fixed overnight. I, myself, have stayed in a psychiatric hospital. I was scared to check myself in, because of how mental hospitals are portrayed on TV, but that is not normally the case. As in her story, my stay was scary and I was not with "crazy" people. I felt safe and protected when I was there.

I loved the Petunia chapter.

I would edit the last chapter, 29. When she reads Dr. Samuel (and others) report. Her defensive tirade, makes her seem like an unreliable narrator. But the rest of the chapter is good.

I just genuinely loved this. Her story, her internal monologue, her self doubt, her relationship with her dog… it just moved me to tears. The authenticity was incredible. I loved reading about her journey and I genuinely just want her to be happy and flourish. Highly recommend!

So freaking good. I related to a lot of it and I think a lot of people will. A hard read at time but so important.

Thank you for an advance copy of this book! 3.5 stars, rounding up to 4 stars. I really loved the first 3/4 of this book. I appreciated the author’s honest retellling of her mental health hospitalizations. The last 1/4 of the book lost me a little bit and I didn’t really connect with how she wrapped up the book. Overall, I enjoyed it.

Anna Marie Tendler’s Men Have Called Her Crazy is an an amazing debut, showcasing a voice that is as pointed as it is compassionate. It’s the rare memoir that seems like a gift to its author as much as its audience. Many will undoubtedly pick this book up looking for dirt or tea on the artist's very public relationship. They will be pleasantly surprised to find very little on that topic, but instead find a thoughtful, worthwhile memoir about Tendler's inner workings.

Men Have Called Her Crazy includes two interwoven memoirs—Tendler’s childhood & young adulthood and her time in rehab during Covid. Through both sections, the author articulates the complexities of heavy subjects like self-harm and gendered violence. Tendler's maturity and growth is demonstrated in the very fair light she shines on different people who came and went in her life. Highlighting the complexities of human interaction, Tendler goes to great lengths to write about the messiness of the grey area.

This is an excellent memoir that young women will especially relate to. I hope to see it somewhere on the bestsellers list this coming August.

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the opportunity to read and review this book in advance of its release.

Thank you NetGalley and Simon and Schuster for this eARC!

I don’t think I can put into words what this book did for me. Every paragraph, every sentence was so beautifully written and held so much emotion. This book is a beautiful reminder that you never know what is going on in someone’s private life. I enjoyed the dual narrative of “this is what’s happening right now” and “this are things that led me to come here” I cried, I laughed, I felt deep emotions. Please pick up this book, you will NOT regret it.