As much as I wanted to love this I couldn’t. The way this comes off is that the author never fully accepted her diagnosis or the reason why she checked herself into the hospital to begin with.

I’ll start with a confession: I didn’t realize until after finishing this memoir that the author was the ex-wife of John Mulaney. He is referred to only in passing with respect to the end of her marriage as the author is checking into a mental health facility for a short-term program. And ultimately I’m glad there’s no salacious gossip here to detract from what is a moving, sincere and often infuriating reflection on the author’s life and dealings with men. I do think this may have been written too soon - the author still has healing to do and I think that’s often evident. I wish her well.

Also, I lost my heart dog this past year after 12 years together and I sobbed reading about Petunia. So TW for that.

Pub Date: 8/13/24
Review Published: 10/30/24
eARC received from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

Anna Marie Tendler might be known as the ex-wife of comedian John Mulaney, but this book is not a rehashing of their relationship or breakup. Instead, Tendler focuses her narrative during the Covid pandemic when she checked herself into a psychiatric hospital due to depression and extreme suicidal ideation. She details the hospital house she lived in with other female roommates, having made it clear to her doctor that she was unwilling to cohabitate with men thanks to a string of heartbreaks and hurts.

In addition to her mental health, Tendler also discusses her parents' divorce and complicated relationships with her mom and dad. When a psychiatrist tries to explain how her mom's rage affected her childhood, Tendler writes that she wishes he could see the times her mom drove her to school or cooked with her. She's more than one thing, Tendler notes, a good reminder that all of us are more than our wounds and worst impulses.

Men Have Called Her Crazy is a raw story about a woman's struggle to survive in a world that hasn't always been kind to her. There are graphic depictions of self-harm, suicidal thoughts, misogyny, and debilitating depression, so keep that in mind if you decide to read this memoir. I'm thankful for vulnerable people like Tendler who are brave enough to share the darkness in their stories as it shines a light for others to know they're not alone.

I really enjoyed this memoir. It's a raw dissection of what women feel when pushed to their breaking point. The growth and healing of the author throughout was very inspiring. I would definitely recommend this to anyone interested in mental health and memoirs.

Memoirs are one of my favourite genres to read because I can step inside and experience the author's thoughts, feelings, and opinions. However, they are also a very hard genre to read and review for the same reasons.

It's always interesting to put yourself in others' shoes and consider how you would react in the same scenarios compared to what the author actually did. Have I come to the same conclusions or experienced the same feelings?

With this memoir, I've danced on the edges of where the author took herself. I don't agree with many of her opinions but I respect and can see how the author herself has gotten there.

I'd recommend this book for those who like to see things through the eyes of others without judgment to the author's conclusions.

not everyone needs to write a memoir…

thank you to netgalley and simon & schuster for the digital arc!

men have called her crazy follows anna marie tendler's experience with mental health, specifically chronicling her recent stay in a psychiatric hospital as well as pivotal moments of her life. an undercurrent throughout these experiences is her distrust and even sometimes hatred of the men around her. she stays in a hospital unit with only female patients so she does not have to be around men, she details her dating history of men who exhibited little to no care for her and her well-being, she debates the merits of freezing her eggs after her divorce, etc.

with all due respect, this book should not have been written and published so soon. this is not a hot take, but i think it is important for publishers/readers/whoever to not demand so much of people going through public personal drama that those people feel compelled to monetarily capitalize on the new-found attention. and like...if you're going to capitalize on your very public and messy divorce, at least talk about the divorce!! i'm sure she couldn't because of legal reasons, or maybe she just didn't want to, but it is a disservice to the themes of this memoir to totally tip-toe around a very pivotal moment in one's life, especially when amt centers men in every aspect of her life.

and also...this woman absolutely refuses to engage in healthy introspection. when a medical professional tells her that her issues with men could actually be attributed to her difficult relationship with her mother (diagnosed mommy issues...ouch), she balks at the idea and dismisses it as another instance of men not listening to her. but girl, i just spent the whole book listening to you and i came to the same conclusion. amt details the fights she would have with her mother, her mother's verbal and emotional outbursts in the wake of her divorce from amt's father, the guilt that amt feels having her mother watch her dog while she is in the hospital. and yet none of this is raising a flag for you? only men are the problem? ok cool

aside from the lack of introspection, amt also refuses to take accountability for any of the experiences here. like yes, of course teenage dating experience suck, and yes, modern dating is terrible. but why do we not learn from past experiences? why do we keep centering men? surely we have to do something else.

this memoir isn't the worst thing i've ever read, but it certainly didn't need to exist. sorry!

This was such a raw and beautiful memoir about mental health and grief for the things we lose when we lose ourselves.

I didn't know what to expect from Anna's writing so it was a pleasant surprise to see that her artistic talent seeped into her written words.

Ultimately, this was fine. I think Anna Marie Tendler is a talented writer but the subject of the book is a little overplayed - not because it is invalid, but in the sense that her approach to it have been done many times before (and more successfully). The most moving bits of the book were when she was expressing genuine love for her close friends and her dog, but the parts that the book revolves around - the hating men - felt a little unconvincing. I think she has gotten too much flack for "not having a job" - like she is an artist and wrote this book - but I think it is fair to point out the ways she is still centering men. Her feminist analysist rang true but it was still a bit shallow and underdeveloped, something you could read on Pinterest or something & it would take less time. However! I still would read something else the author published if it was more focused on her as a person, or maybe even fiction, or about art. Thanks for the arc!

I went into this memoir with no prior knowledge of who the author is. I have since learned about her background as well as her marriage to a very famous comedian. I feel with this now at the forefront of my mind it does slightly affect my rating of this memoir.

Previously, I read this at face value. While I had some of my own critiques about structure and, at times tone, I felt that the story was presented in a very readable and accessible fashion. I couldn’t relate to everything the author had gone through but I was able to empathize well enough. I did find her tangents about men were a bit too much. I wish that she refrained from putting the blame on all men. Such broad statements are harmful and untrue.

Now knowing more of her background, it seems like the author intentionally left out huge parts of her life experience. I respect her choice not to talk about her ex-husband, however, I feel that his influence in her life got her to the point of hospitalization. It makes the memoir seem less genuine when a huge chunk of her life is not addressed.

I’m not a fan of the cover. In fact, if I saw it on a shelf, I would not even glance in that direction. You are probably wondering why I would pick up this book. I received an email from the publisher based on my previous reviews of Simon and Schuster titles and to give this one a try. After reading a brief description of the story, I decided to take a chance and read it.
I always admire when people share their stories of struggles and tribulations because we all have them, but the story left me feeling meh. I feel bad saying that because I love rooting for people and hoping they get to a place where they can find peace and happiness. The writing was ok and unfortunately I should have stopped reading after the first chapter.

It’s very hard to rate and review memoirs, because you’re literally projecting your thoughts on someone else’s story.

With that, I was not a fan of this book. I think I expected something different going into it. I just don’t think the author conveyed the messages she was trying to convey.

Thanks to the publisher for the gifted copy in exchange for an honest review.

I went into the memoir kind of blind, or at least in the sense that I didn’t know who the author was. (Or who she was connected to.) And while I’m glad that didn’t spoil my view of her at all, I kind of wished I knew it before- even though she doesn’t really talk about this person at all. (I won’t say but you can google if you’re curious.)

I think this was a great book of feminine rage. I was agreeing with the author throughout the book, and really felt for her. I honestly thought it was a great memoir, but I’ve heard others complain she didn’t have enough development. Honestly, she’s not in a psych ward anymore, so isn’t that enough development? I might also be a little biased because she had a French Bulldog (named Petunia! How adorable!!) and just the way she talked about her pup- well, I understood.

I think you’ll like this book if the title alone appeals to you, and you’re a fan of memoirs. The beautiful writing really sealed the deal for me.

men have called her crazy was an excellent read. I listened along with my reading and liked the narrator. I really appreciated the author's insight into being hospitalized and all the ways the world is messed up and got her there.

Men Have Called Her Crazy by Anna Marie Tendler is a first person account of the author’s struggle with mental illness and a stint in a rehab facility. It also recounts her childhood and teen years, as well as her early career, all the while dealing with feelings of worthlessness and gendered life experiences.
She recounts in detail her many years of self-harm and therapy. She self-describes as a woman who does not trust men and believes they dismiss women as exhibiting “aberrant behavior.” According to her, even her female psychiatrist misunderstands and undermines her.
After reading this book, I realized that the author is a social media personality, but am happy that I read it without any prior knowledge of or judgment of the author.
Generally, I like her narrative style, finding it was somewhat simplistic, but it also felt honest. The chapters skipping between ‘now’ and ‘then’ were not always clear and linear, so for me this disrupted the flow of the narrative.
I do hope Ms. Tendler has satisfaction with setting her experience in writing and moving forward in her ongoing journey toward mental health and happiness.

Thank you to Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for the ARC. This is my honest review.

I usually love a good memoir, and I was excited to hear from Tendler, but overall this book fell flat. While some parts were interesting, the tone of the story came across vapid at times and lacked introspection. I did find some of the discussions about mental health interesting, but like I said the introspection wasn;t necessarily there.

3.5 stars

This was an insightful memoir that gave readers a glimpse of recovery from depression and suicidal ideation in a rehab hospital setting. There were parts of the story that were emotional and devastating, yet others where it was difficult to connect with Anna Marie Tendler. There was a lot of focus on her distrust of men which sometimes became exhausting. The details on her therapy journey were very interesting to read, and I was hopeful that she would start to make progress toward becoming happier with herself and her life choices. Overall, I liked it, though a lot of the book seemed focused on her short stint in rehab (~2 weeks) rather than the events leading up to it.

Great first hand account, reads like a novel. It was a relief to see her taking care of herself. Scary to see how a relationship with a therapist can take a bad turn.

Enjoyed most of it. Felt like it could have used a few more rounds of edits. I would have personally enjoyed this book more if it spanned across more years in terms of the memoir aspect.

If you’ve ever been wrong in your life this book is for you. Kind of like girl interrupted. I ate it up quickly!!

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the ARC! This was an extremely sought after advance copy for me, as I am a longtime admirer of Anna, her art, her unique perception of life through an artist's lens, and the story she had to tell.
This story had so much to offer and was a raw, vulnerable look at the oftentimes dark realities of mental health, misogyny, and the ability to rediscover one's own identity time and time again over the course of one's life. I do feel that there were some low points in terms of general awareness of the author's own privilege, both from a financial and general identity standpoint. That being said, though it is extremely important to recognize that the author comes from a place of privilege in many aspects, it is also important to note that her pain is still her own and lives inside her to its fullest extent. I think room could have been made to note that many people who deal with suicidal ideation or other mental health hardships also do not have a stable financial backing or support system or platform to back them.
I really, truly resonated with the portions of this book that tapped into the authors relationships with other women and, most of all, her relationship with sweet Petunia. Though I knew Petunia had passed before reading this memoir, the way their bond so powerfully translated off the page was so impactful. Their love for one another was instantaneously felt. As a dog owner myself, my heart became full, and then broken, many many times over the course of Anna and Petunia's story together. I always felt most settled and content when the page I'd turned to brought me yet another portion of their whirlwind sisterhood, romance, bond, and life together.