What an interesting memoir! As both a long-time fan of Mulaney and AMT (both as individiuals and, once before, as a couple), I was really excited to finally read and see more of AMT's own work. This book is poignant and thought-provoking, funny and emotional.... though, that isn't to say it's not without its issues. There were some portions that I found to be a bit.... off-putting, to put it mildly lol; however, at the same time, there's a part of me that chalks those rough patches up to it being about someone's own humanity (no matter how flawed or ugly those detailed thoughts/experiences may be may be). I did really respect though just how vulnerable and open AMT was when it came to discussing both tougher topics and deeply personal issues such as [her own] mental health & depression, as well as the vast array of sexism and misogyny she has endured/received over the year. I highly recommend this book to others and truly believe AMT's distinct and beautiful voice is one that should undoubtedly be heard by the masses!

It is tough to rate a memoir, especially one such as this, but alas here we are. I read this and was hoping by the end AMT would have come 'round and found some accountability but there was none to be had in here. I was a bit blindsided by the Petunia chapter (it happened to coincide on the anniversary I lost my doggo) but it was probably the most genuine chapter she wrote in the whole thing. I will just leave it at that.

Thank you to Simon & Schuster for the digital copy and to Simon Audio for the ALC to review.

~ ARC provided by NetGalley ~

This book, especially since the first week of release, is a tough one to formulate opinions on. However, when I read it in July, I was really invested in the story Anna Marie Tendler was telling about her life. Tendler explores her toxic and troubling relationships with men throughout her girlhood and into her adulthood where we meet her at a mental health facility in New England. I really appreciated Tendler's description of her time seeking mental health treatment--which is not the experience all readers had, be warned. There is also a noticeable absence of her famous ex-husband, that I actually appreciated. Tendler goes into other relationships with much more detail, and I was more interested in her life in the present than with her ex.

I disliked this book a lot, I found it alienating and self-indulgent. I feel for the author and her experiences and I was a fan of her in the past when she was a makeup artist but this woman scorned persona she's adopted and exploited for what I feel has been equal parts revenge and profit is tired. We get it, girl, you're so skinny and frail, oh my word.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing an advance copy in exchange for honest feedback.

WE NEED MORE BOOKS LIKE THIS! Unputdownable! The story was absolutely incredible in its way for storytelling and highlighting every ounce of what it’s like being a female sometimes! The world needs more voices like this to be told. Incredible book.

I was so looking forward to this book and it did not disappoint. Anna Marie Tendler expertly weaves a narrative that so many women will identify with; one of a lifetime of bumping up against men of varying degrees of terribleness. These experiences are informed by her mental health and mental illness in nuanced and insightful ways. She writes about her experiences in inpatient treatment, specifically about her relationships with other patients and providers in such a touching way. The chapter in which her dog passes (not a spoiler) gutted me, but it was some of the best writing I've read recently. I admired her staunch refusal to make this book a tell all, coupled with her obvious compassion towards addicts. I was already a huge fan of Tendler's from her social media and photography but this has cemented her in my mind as a force to be reckoned with.

Thanks to Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for a free ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Many of us were introduced to Anna Marie Tendler through her ex-husband, but her memoir Men Have Called Her Crazy, is clearly a way for her to tell her own story, while also considering how men impact the lives of women.

When this book was first announced, I didn’t expect it to become so controversial (check out the other Goodreads reviews if you’re curious). After reading it, I have to say that while I understand some of the criticisms around why this book exists and its content, I think it was a really interesting read. Tendler has a lot to say and it was nice to hear her story directly from her, rather than filtered through a bit in a Netflix comedy special. Tendler is vulnerable and direct in discussing her mental health challenges and treatments, as well as her childhood and various relationships with men. I think everyone will find something to connect with in this memoir, and I personally was really moved by how she wrote about her dog, Petunia. If you’ve ever lost a beloved pet, those sections will really get to you.

This is the first time I haven’t rated a book (NetGalley is forcing me to give a rating to share this, so I just put in five stars), and that’s entirely due to the subject matter. It’s deeply personal and very heavy, and given that, it felt odd to assign it a rating. What I will say is that if you’re looking for a memoir with lots of salacious details about a celebrity divorce, this is not the book for you. But, if you’re interested in reading about a woman’s mental health journey, as well as musings on being a woman in the world, you might enjoy this one – definitely check out the content warnings though.

Men Have Called Her Crazy is out now. Thanks to Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you Anne-Marie for telling your story. She doesn’t owe the world anything but I am thankful she decided to share with us anyway.

Men Have Called Her Crazy is a memoir told by a deeply empathetic woman grappling with her anxiety, depression, and the forces, both internal and external, that impacted her life in ways she could not predict. The story goes back and forth between Tendler’s stay at an inpatient psychiatric facility in January 2021 and other pivotal points through her life before and since.

The most compelling parts of the story, for me, were the therapy sessions that Tendler shares with the reader over the course of the book. She discussed productive therapy sessions alongside those where the relationship between doctor and patient had become toxic. One session dealt with grief over the death of a dream - for Anna, acting, and later, dancing - and how that impacted Anna’s self-efficacy in trying new or challenging things over time. It led me to reflect on dreams of my own that I have had to leave behind, and the dreams that my loved ones have given up on as well. Stories like Anna’s are so valuable, especially because we as a society are led to believe that we are the only ones who react to these losses with anger, anxiety, sadness, and shame, when in reality dealing with loss - and the emotional turmoil that follows - is part of being human.

If you are coming to this memoir looking for a tell-all expose of Tendler’s marriage and divorce from comedian John Mulaney, this isn’t it. John is not mentioned by name, and Anna only makes passing references to the deterioration of their marriage, focusing instead on other relationships, including her experience dating after divorce. Early in the book, she acknowledges anger with those affected by addiction, equating it to “a tornado of destruction where everyone loses something.” Anna also discusses the shame she feels about how working in a creative field - working as a hairstylist and makeup artist, creating and selling art, and her post-secondary school career ultimately leading to a M.A. in Fashion and Textile History - often means relying on a romantic partner for income. It was a smart move, keeping the more “known” story out of her memoir; while her marriage likely had a huge impact on Tendler’s overall impression of men, her voice - her perspective - is the one that shines through in this book, not the drama of it all. And the story is stronger for it.

I think this memoir will be meaningful for anyone who has struggled (or is currently struggling) with their own mental health. Those who are sensitive to mention of self-harm, suicidal ideation, disordered eating, and fertility treatments may need to proceed with caution; as someone who has little to no experience with any of those topics, I cannot speak for whether it would trigger stronger feelings for someone else. I will say that Anna is a thoughtful, talented writer. Her insights on anxiety and her experiences of being belittled and hurt by the men in her life were written with care, and those stories resonated with me. If you read Britney Spears’ The Woman in Me last year and you were hoping for deeper reflections on the emotional touchpoints in that story, Men Have Called Her Crazy by Anna Marie Tendler would be a worthwhile pick.

**Many thanks to NetGalley, Anna Marie Tendler, and Simon and Schuster for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.**

This book was an engaging look into the mind of someone struggling with their mental health to the point of checking into a psychiatric center. I enjoyed seeing how Anna interacted with the other women at Dalby, and how they were able to bond in their short time together. Sometimes I really liked Anna, but other times I couldn’t related to her and felt like she was performing. I think she is someone who is genuinely interesting, but at times gets caught up in trying to nonchalantly prove that she is interesting to her audience. It was also hard to watch her make bad decisions because even though I had the context to understand why she was making those decisions, I just wanted better for her, and wish she had known to want better for herself in her past. The commentary on patriarchy was relatable.

Random side notes: I loved the Fiona Apple references, probably because I am the same age as Anna. I found it hard to read about her dog’s poor training (framed as something quirky) and bad health. The continued breeding of dogs with health issues for the short-snout aesthetic is abuse.

Potentially a "me" issue, I could not get passed the representation of women's bodies in this one. An entire chapter about the size of her wrist was a bit too far for me. I absolutely understand how this is a core issue for her, but I cannot abide detailing it for details sake. I'm gonna need to see some growth past the triggering behavior to be able to support the detail.

Men Have Called Her Crazy is a fantastic memoir and one of the best books I've read in 2024.

During the pandemic, Anna Marie Tendler had a mental health crisis and checked herself into a facility for treatment. After her release, she works on her mental health and looks back on her difficult relationships with men.

This book blew me away. Tendler is such a good writer and this is such a raw, powerful look at mental health and bad relationships. I couldn't put it down. There are definitely parts that are tough to read, but it's so worth it.

This was not really what I was expecting, and while I hope that this process was therapeutic for the author, I was expecting more reflection and more of a conclusion, or something that wasn't so inward-looking. It felt a little incomplete, but I do think the author is skilled and I would read more of her work in the future!

A serious and insightful memoir from Anna Marie Tendler. The writing is conversational and intimate, dashes of humor intermingled with the serious topics of mental health, sexual assault, and the power dynamics of a society steeped in patriarchal standards. I cried a few times while reading, this memoir was unputdownable!

I struggled a lot with this book and I hope this review comes across as being critical of the writing itself and not of the author’s experiences. While I have a lot of empathy for what Tendler has gone through, I think she needed a few more years of separation from these events to truly have some matured introspection on everything she has experienced. There are moments throughout the book where you can clearly see the work she has done to be able to think about her life more insightfully, but those passages do not make up the majority of the narrative. I think a rewrite of this another 5 or 10 years from now would be less frustrating to the reader and potentially more helpful to people living through similar patterns and experiences.

*Huge thanks to Anna Marie Tendler, Simon & Schuster, and NetGalley for providing me with an advanced e-book of this memoir in exchange for honest review*

Anna,

I hope the world brings you so much joy, magic, and kindness.

Reading your traumas and experiences helped me feel so seen with my own anxieties and depression. How wild is it truly that events of our childhoods impact so many relationships in our life?

Every woman needs to read this once.

Anna Marie Tendler
Men Have Called Her Crazy: A Memoir
Simon & Schuster, 2024

I am a sucker for first-person mental health narratives. All the better if the author reflects and ponders their chronic illnesses, life transitions, and artistic experiences. (Sometimes a book captures---all of those!!!)

I know. I know. I don't want more suffering, but if other people express themselves exceptionally well through writing, that hits the (bitter)sweet spot!

Artist and author Anna Marie Tendler opens her book "Men Have Called Her Crazy: A Memoir" (Simon & Schuster, 2024) as she begins her inpatient stay at a psychiatric hospital.

In 2021, Tendler's mental health struggles were increasing, amplified by the COVID-19 pandemic, and a marriage (very publicly) in distress.

Pushing past shame, stigma, and a history of limited medical treatment, we watch as she integrates multiple treatment methods toward her path of healing.

As someone who has also been "inpatient" before, just taking that first step towards extra treatment can feel insurmountable. But Tendler's desire, her passion, to build the life she wants regardless of what her ex does or doesn't do inspires me to find a few strands of my anger and see what healing I might have missed.

Thank you kindly to Anna Marie Tendler, Simon & Schuster, and NetGalley for the eARC.

Tendler seems to be straddling the line between tell-all and introspection and the end result is a wishy-washy attempt not to step too far into either side. There are moments in this memoir, about Petunia or her brief relationship with Javier, that I really enjoyed, they offered a deep look at growth and love and life that I think were very effective and reflective. But the rest…it just wasn’t that. There was a distinct lack of ability to reflect on her time at the hospital, and also as a reader I felt that things had been retold or softened to appease people in her life that she may still have complex relationships with, in particular her mother. It’s difficult to read a memoir where you feel like you can see insights into the author’s life and struggles that she can’t see herself, and ultimately adamantly rejects, when she’s presented with them. With other memoirs (like Jennette McCurdy’s) tackling heavy topics and dissecting them with grace and humor and introspection in a successful way, it’s hard not to compare where Tendler’s falls short. Also, I find the title to be completely unsuited to the narrative and ultimately a hindrance to the story I wish I’d read.

I received an ARC of this novel through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

I was initially drawn to this memoir by the title -- Men Have Called Her Crazy -- why did Anna Marie Tendler feel that men saw her this way? Anna did have a complicated relationship with men throughout her life, but she also had a difficult and complicated relationship with her mother, which seemed to color a lot of her growing-up years.

Beginning with Anna's stay at a psychiatric hospital for depression, self-harm, and anxiety, her story pivots back and forth between the present and her past -- giving readers a clearer insight into what brought her to the hospital.

Her writing is brutally honest and insightful, but throughout the book, I kept wondering about her intense dislike (dare I say, hatred?) of men and yet this magnetic pull toward them. She briefly mentions a marriage and divorce, but offers no more details, which I found odd -- providing virtually no information about this ex-spouse was lacking in my opinion.

Overall, Anna Marie Tendler lays herself bare in this book, and I applaud her courage to do so. An insightful read into the life of one woman who decides to overcome the demons that she lived with for so long.

Thank you to #NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for providing this electronic ARC of #MenHaveCalledHerCrazy.