Thank you Anne-Marie for telling your story. She doesn’t owe the world anything but I am thankful she decided to share with us anyway.

Men Have Called Her Crazy is a memoir told by a deeply empathetic woman grappling with her anxiety, depression, and the forces, both internal and external, that impacted her life in ways she could not predict. The story goes back and forth between Tendler’s stay at an inpatient psychiatric facility in January 2021 and other pivotal points through her life before and since.

The most compelling parts of the story, for me, were the therapy sessions that Tendler shares with the reader over the course of the book. She discussed productive therapy sessions alongside those where the relationship between doctor and patient had become toxic. One session dealt with grief over the death of a dream - for Anna, acting, and later, dancing - and how that impacted Anna’s self-efficacy in trying new or challenging things over time. It led me to reflect on dreams of my own that I have had to leave behind, and the dreams that my loved ones have given up on as well. Stories like Anna’s are so valuable, especially because we as a society are led to believe that we are the only ones who react to these losses with anger, anxiety, sadness, and shame, when in reality dealing with loss - and the emotional turmoil that follows - is part of being human.

If you are coming to this memoir looking for a tell-all expose of Tendler’s marriage and divorce from comedian John Mulaney, this isn’t it. John is not mentioned by name, and Anna only makes passing references to the deterioration of their marriage, focusing instead on other relationships, including her experience dating after divorce. Early in the book, she acknowledges anger with those affected by addiction, equating it to “a tornado of destruction where everyone loses something.” Anna also discusses the shame she feels about how working in a creative field - working as a hairstylist and makeup artist, creating and selling art, and her post-secondary school career ultimately leading to a M.A. in Fashion and Textile History - often means relying on a romantic partner for income. It was a smart move, keeping the more “known” story out of her memoir; while her marriage likely had a huge impact on Tendler’s overall impression of men, her voice - her perspective - is the one that shines through in this book, not the drama of it all. And the story is stronger for it.

I think this memoir will be meaningful for anyone who has struggled (or is currently struggling) with their own mental health. Those who are sensitive to mention of self-harm, suicidal ideation, disordered eating, and fertility treatments may need to proceed with caution; as someone who has little to no experience with any of those topics, I cannot speak for whether it would trigger stronger feelings for someone else. I will say that Anna is a thoughtful, talented writer. Her insights on anxiety and her experiences of being belittled and hurt by the men in her life were written with care, and those stories resonated with me. If you read Britney Spears’ The Woman in Me last year and you were hoping for deeper reflections on the emotional touchpoints in that story, Men Have Called Her Crazy by Anna Marie Tendler would be a worthwhile pick.

**Many thanks to NetGalley, Anna Marie Tendler, and Simon and Schuster for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.**

This book was an engaging look into the mind of someone struggling with their mental health to the point of checking into a psychiatric center. I enjoyed seeing how Anna interacted with the other women at Dalby, and how they were able to bond in their short time together. Sometimes I really liked Anna, but other times I couldn’t related to her and felt like she was performing. I think she is someone who is genuinely interesting, but at times gets caught up in trying to nonchalantly prove that she is interesting to her audience. It was also hard to watch her make bad decisions because even though I had the context to understand why she was making those decisions, I just wanted better for her, and wish she had known to want better for herself in her past. The commentary on patriarchy was relatable.

Random side notes: I loved the Fiona Apple references, probably because I am the same age as Anna. I found it hard to read about her dog’s poor training (framed as something quirky) and bad health. The continued breeding of dogs with health issues for the short-snout aesthetic is abuse.

Potentially a "me" issue, I could not get passed the representation of women's bodies in this one. An entire chapter about the size of her wrist was a bit too far for me. I absolutely understand how this is a core issue for her, but I cannot abide detailing it for details sake. I'm gonna need to see some growth past the triggering behavior to be able to support the detail.

Men Have Called Her Crazy is a fantastic memoir and one of the best books I've read in 2024.

During the pandemic, Anna Marie Tendler had a mental health crisis and checked herself into a facility for treatment. After her release, she works on her mental health and looks back on her difficult relationships with men.

This book blew me away. Tendler is such a good writer and this is such a raw, powerful look at mental health and bad relationships. I couldn't put it down. There are definitely parts that are tough to read, but it's so worth it.

This was not really what I was expecting, and while I hope that this process was therapeutic for the author, I was expecting more reflection and more of a conclusion, or something that wasn't so inward-looking. It felt a little incomplete, but I do think the author is skilled and I would read more of her work in the future!

A serious and insightful memoir from Anna Marie Tendler. The writing is conversational and intimate, dashes of humor intermingled with the serious topics of mental health, sexual assault, and the power dynamics of a society steeped in patriarchal standards. I cried a few times while reading, this memoir was unputdownable!

I struggled a lot with this book and I hope this review comes across as being critical of the writing itself and not of the author’s experiences. While I have a lot of empathy for what Tendler has gone through, I think she needed a few more years of separation from these events to truly have some matured introspection on everything she has experienced. There are moments throughout the book where you can clearly see the work she has done to be able to think about her life more insightfully, but those passages do not make up the majority of the narrative. I think a rewrite of this another 5 or 10 years from now would be less frustrating to the reader and potentially more helpful to people living through similar patterns and experiences.

*Huge thanks to Anna Marie Tendler, Simon & Schuster, and NetGalley for providing me with an advanced e-book of this memoir in exchange for honest review*

Anna,

I hope the world brings you so much joy, magic, and kindness.

Reading your traumas and experiences helped me feel so seen with my own anxieties and depression. How wild is it truly that events of our childhoods impact so many relationships in our life?

Every woman needs to read this once.

Anna Marie Tendler
Men Have Called Her Crazy: A Memoir
Simon & Schuster, 2024

I am a sucker for first-person mental health narratives. All the better if the author reflects and ponders their chronic illnesses, life transitions, and artistic experiences. (Sometimes a book captures---all of those!!!)

I know. I know. I don't want more suffering, but if other people express themselves exceptionally well through writing, that hits the (bitter)sweet spot!

Artist and author Anna Marie Tendler opens her book "Men Have Called Her Crazy: A Memoir" (Simon & Schuster, 2024) as she begins her inpatient stay at a psychiatric hospital.

In 2021, Tendler's mental health struggles were increasing, amplified by the COVID-19 pandemic, and a marriage (very publicly) in distress.

Pushing past shame, stigma, and a history of limited medical treatment, we watch as she integrates multiple treatment methods toward her path of healing.

As someone who has also been "inpatient" before, just taking that first step towards extra treatment can feel insurmountable. But Tendler's desire, her passion, to build the life she wants regardless of what her ex does or doesn't do inspires me to find a few strands of my anger and see what healing I might have missed.

Thank you kindly to Anna Marie Tendler, Simon & Schuster, and NetGalley for the eARC.

Tendler seems to be straddling the line between tell-all and introspection and the end result is a wishy-washy attempt not to step too far into either side. There are moments in this memoir, about Petunia or her brief relationship with Javier, that I really enjoyed, they offered a deep look at growth and love and life that I think were very effective and reflective. But the rest…it just wasn’t that. There was a distinct lack of ability to reflect on her time at the hospital, and also as a reader I felt that things had been retold or softened to appease people in her life that she may still have complex relationships with, in particular her mother. It’s difficult to read a memoir where you feel like you can see insights into the author’s life and struggles that she can’t see herself, and ultimately adamantly rejects, when she’s presented with them. With other memoirs (like Jennette McCurdy’s) tackling heavy topics and dissecting them with grace and humor and introspection in a successful way, it’s hard not to compare where Tendler’s falls short. Also, I find the title to be completely unsuited to the narrative and ultimately a hindrance to the story I wish I’d read.

I received an ARC of this novel through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

I was initially drawn to this memoir by the title -- Men Have Called Her Crazy -- why did Anna Marie Tendler feel that men saw her this way? Anna did have a complicated relationship with men throughout her life, but she also had a difficult and complicated relationship with her mother, which seemed to color a lot of her growing-up years.

Beginning with Anna's stay at a psychiatric hospital for depression, self-harm, and anxiety, her story pivots back and forth between the present and her past -- giving readers a clearer insight into what brought her to the hospital.

Her writing is brutally honest and insightful, but throughout the book, I kept wondering about her intense dislike (dare I say, hatred?) of men and yet this magnetic pull toward them. She briefly mentions a marriage and divorce, but offers no more details, which I found odd -- providing virtually no information about this ex-spouse was lacking in my opinion.

Overall, Anna Marie Tendler lays herself bare in this book, and I applaud her courage to do so. An insightful read into the life of one woman who decides to overcome the demons that she lived with for so long.

Thank you to #NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for providing this electronic ARC of #MenHaveCalledHerCrazy.

i have a really hard time rating memoirs, as they are so personal to the author so for that reason i will adding a five star review for their bravery to share their story.

i struggled with this one. i was highly optimistic in the first 20% as understanding more about the experience of staying in a psychiatric hospital is something that my interest always gravitates to. especially that as a woman, where to this day it seems as if no doctor of any type can figure out our care.

with that said, the memoir is told with a dual timeline of her current stay in the psychiatric hospital to her past, sharing stories of her childhood as well as with previous partners quickly got old.

i found myself rushing through the chapters about her previous life in hopes of going back to her time in the psychiatric hospital. a major challenge that i had was with the amount of privilege that exuded from the entirety of the novel, which im unsure if that was supposed to be a use of satire that went completely over my head, or general cluelessness. the experience alone of staying in that specialized institution is a privilege that many cannot afford to make for their own health, but then to also blatantly point of the money and disposable income, with examples like the details on dog bills, was just uncomfortable to read.

i still enjoyed it, the elements of found family and the overall message regarding the time and effort that working on your mental health requires to see an outcome i thought rounded out nicely. it has an ending that felt like justice and left a feeling of hope in the readers.

Thank you to Netgalley and Simon & Shuster for the ARC!

I was really hooked in the beginning of this memoir as I could personally relate to a lot of this. i wanted to feel that connection as the book continued but I somehow lost it. Overall, a very good read.

I enjoyed reading about the women who Anna shared her treatment with and about her therapy! Her artwork and love of passion projects. There were some spare references to her marriage to John, but I knew this memoir wasn't about that in the first place going in. I appreciated how she discussed all the different men she had dated throughout the years, and the passages were interesting. But so much of her life has come from immense privilege in a roundabout way from these men for the life she was able to live. I feel like she learned a lot about herself, for living for men, before living for herself. I appreciated her mental illness, the help she received, and the navigation getting there. I think there were gaps in this book that did not have a connection for me, but again it's a memoir and someone's life. I don't feel right rating that! The audiobook was really appreciated from her.

A successful memoir requires a level of self-awareness and introspection that Tendler seems to be currently incapable of. She chronicles her time in therapy and her struggles with her mental health but completely lacks any sense of personal responsibility or accountability. Life just happens to her, apparently, and it is all the fault of the (mostly) men she happens to find herself with. This felt like reading a teenager's diary, but unfortunately for Tendler, she's nearly 40.

An intense read for those who are also having issues with anxiety and depression, but reassuring that there is hope for managing these issues in life.
A definite must read for those who need to see what misogyny and a lack of care can do to your loved ones.

I have a hard time rating and reviewing memoirs because it feels as if I am criticizing someone’s life experiences, In this case, traumatic life experiences.

That said, this book was a huge let down. I was hopeful that this would be.a mental health memoir from the perspective of a healed person, but it’s clear that she has some more work to do and a lot of her narratives are toxic at worst and misinformed and concerning at best.

I did not know what to expect with this memoir, and I found myself pleasantly surprised as the vulnerability and honesty within it. If you’re looking for gossip about past relationships, don’t bother with this memoir. Instead, I found myself learning from her insights into mental health, partnerships, and love.

Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
I get so nervous early reviewing memoirs because I feel like the author will definitely read them, but in this case I am not nervous.
First of all, if you’re looking for John Mulaney gossip, look elsewhere.
This is a book about strength in mental health crisis. This is a very raw and in depth look at depression and its effects, and the way it changes your relationships.
This was a beautiful story, and I’m grateful Anna decided to share it.