This book is so important in elevating the harm and depression that women often hide until it’s too late. I love how plain-spoken this is — the author’s voice is clear and strong while describing deeply disturbing episodes. In a lot of ways, this intentionality to staying even-keeled is the whole point: if we lose our tempers, we are crazy. If we show emotion, we are irrational. If we don’t keep quiet when men get loud, we are difficult.

And they literally never think about the power they wield or the narrative they control:

“I don't believe Theo was malicious, or mean, or that he wanted me to feel subordinate to his power. I just think he did not consider it. Like men since the dawn of time, like so many men who have passed through my life, he simply did not consider it.”

This book is also a really hard book to read. I had to set it down and come back multiple times.



Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for my review copy!

Many thanks to Simon and Shuster and NetGalley for this eARC of Men Have Called Her Crazy.

This book is an honest account of mental health - the good, the bad, and the things that, when expressed and explained, are complicated and ugly. I think Anna does a good job of expressing those things and making you understand the pain she has experienced, regardless of how shocking it is at times and how unrelatable it might be for some readers. For instance, I think one of her strengths is writing about anxiety. I can't imagine that it is easy to put the experience of anxiety into words and make them come off the page in such a visceral way, but she did. I also thought the essay format worked well for this. I read most of this book in a single sitting - it's quick and very tightly written.

At times, I wished for this book, particularly the second half, to be a bit more...self-aware? With some of the events and thoughts, I think it would have been helpful for Anna to take the time to dig into her actions more than she did. The back half of the book very quickly cascades through numerous events, told almost entirely in an objective manner. In a memoir though, I want to hear what someone thinks. I want them to reflect on things. I want to know why she thought she was acting the way she was, especially because, by that point, she had spent so much time working on herself and her mental health.

I think it is really hard to rate memoirs, to the point that I sometimes just don't bother. How can you rate someone's life story, their vulnerability, their choices? I don't really know if it is for me to judge. I know that I respect Anna a lot for writing this, but I also know that I walked away from the book almost wishing that it wasn't such a quick read. I wanted a little more discussion, more reflection, and more direction as she moves forward in her life. I think that would have tied the entire book together a bit better.

3.25 stars.

Where do I even begin....

It feels mean of me to rate a memoir because this is, after all, someone's personal life experiences, but at the same time.... The storytelling here is often unbearable to read, and I found myself pained at just how unwilling Anna seems to be to take accountability. The impact this book had on me was the creeping sense that this was a book I shouldn't be reading in the same way that Taylor Swift's The Tortured Poets Department was an album I should not be listening to. This is too personal and too raw, and not, I think, in the way that Anna wants it to be.

Ugh. I just feel so uncomfortable right now.

Such a brutal and honest book. Tendler weaves her pain beautifully throughout this honest reflection of her life.

WOW, wow, wow, wow.....WOW! This book was heartbreaking, beautiful, haunting and so authentic. I am so thankful that I was able to dive into this book and learn more about the author. I genuinely ran a gambit of emotions while diving into this book and it kept me quickly reading this novel. Thanks so much to Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for this ARC!

I admittedly had high expectations for this book going in, but I ultimately found it difficult to get through. While I appreciate Tendler's vulnerability and still really like the concept of this memoir, I found it a bit too disjointed. I found it difficult to connect with her narrative voice and, as some other reviewers have mentioned, I wish this book hadn't been written so soon after some of the experiences Tendler mentions.

Thanks o NetGally for the ARC ebook. I had never heard of Anna Marie Tendler before requesting this book, but I have been hearing about how good this one is! Anna shares this as a memoir, which is also something I did not realize until I was about 20% in, and then it all made more sense to me. I appreciate how vulnerable Anna was throught the story, and I could resonate with most of the themes. This is a great book that I absolutely recommend.

Stopped at 48%

I was looking forward to this, but I struggled a lot. I feel like she’s still too close to some of the things discussed, and there could have been more self reflection. I honestly had to stop after the chapter about her small wrists.

I tried switching to the audiobook and still struggled. I may try this again at another point as I was excited to read it.

This book feels like a deep sigh and a huge hug from a friend who felt like you needed it.

After a few very public years, Anna Marie Tendler delivers this book in just a raw and emotional way that feels familiar and lived in for many women. As a millennial, this felt particularly real since we experienced things at the same time. It's brutal

This book isn't resolved. Tendler's problem's aren't resolved and that's ok. This book is a memoir written by a woman who has had a series of relationships with men where the relationship is more important than any individual in it.

While we were waiting for a few big names, those don't show up. Instead, we get the events and feelings surrounding those very big moments. Through a divorce and pandemic, Tendler reflects on the moments (and men) who paved the way for her to land where she is now- and that story is still unfinished.

Those unfinished moments, however, could be painful for people to read, specifically anyone dealing with an eating disorder. There are times where it feels like reading someone's emotional LiveJournal entries, however, there's something here that is easy to relate to and forced me to examine my own self and my relationships with men.

This is book is really interesting. I love learning about people's lives and how their experiences helped to shape them. Were there men in Anna's past that treated her poorly? Absolutely. Was it different from many other women's experiences with men? Not at all. I think she could have written only about everything else in her life that lead her to the treatment center and it would have been the same story. With that said, I think it's brave to relive, write down, and share past traumas with others. It's a well-written book but I think it missed the mark a little bit.

I think a lot of the negative comments I’ve seen around this book are fair. However, I felt like it was really raw and as someone who struggles with their mental health, I saw so many of my own ugly traits in Anna. I think that’s why I’m able to relate and come at my review from a more sympathetic perspective even though she is at the end of the day a privileged woman.

The portion of the book that details her time in the hospital with the other women was captivating and very well told. I think some of the flashbacks to her experiences with men could come off as petty or that she was hung up on “lesser traumas”. Yet, she expresses by the end that she does not truly hate men and I think we miss a portion of why she felt so strongly about staying away from men by the absence of what happened in her marriage.

Overall, other reviewers may or may not be right that she needed more time of self reflection before she wrote this. For me, I liked that she’s still imperfect and working towards her healing. Mental health is not something that is an easy fix and rewiring your negative thoughts is really difficult. I appreciated her honesty and the chapter about Petunia nearly took me out completely. This wasn’t the book people wanted from Anna but it is her story to tell.

I love how unapologetic Anna Marie Tendler is with sharing her mental health story — her ruminations on her own history, her inner monologue, her self-doubt, her relationship with Petunia and her grief over the life she once knew. My heart breaks for her. I listen to the audiobook version, which is read by the author. I always enjoy it when the author narrates their own book — especially with memoirs — as it brings an added level of connection and intimacy.

The memoir takes place after the dissolution of Tendler's marriage. Anyone who pays attention to social media knows her ex-husband is comedian John Mulaney. Anna seems to know we know, but she won’t address it. Instead, we tiptoe around the identity of her husband and any details of their relationship. I understand her likely reasoning for making that choice, but the failure to acknowledge it becomes notable on its own. The exclusion feels significant here as Tendler delves into other influential relationships throughout the memoir. I'm not saying we needed all the dirty details, but I feel it would have been less obtrusive if the relationship had been addressed once in stride with the others and then we moved on.

That aside, I sort of love the fact that she doesn't talk about it. This is her memoir and she gets to decide what is and isn't shared.

Thanks to the author, NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the advance copy in exchange for my honest review.

Men Have Called Her Crazy is a fascinating memoir about Tendler's time spent in a psychiatric hospital and the complicated relationships she has with the people around her. The first section of the book alternates between her stay in the hospital and her reflections on her relationships with men and how they have caused her harm. The memoir obviously covers a number of heavy topics, mostly relating to mental health, childhood trauma, and self harm. One issue for me is that everything is treated in an almost clinical way. It felt like everything was being looked at under a microscope and for a book that involves a lot of feelings, I didn't actually feel them all that much. Another issue that I had was the way that her marriage was treated in this memoir. I understand that there are a number of reasons why she might not want to write about her marriage and divorce, but in a book that is about her romantic relationships with men, it felt like a rather significant relationship was being left out. That being said, Tendler is a wonderful writer and obviously very self aware and analytical of herself, which I think is an admirable quality. Should she publish anymore work, I would certainly love to read it.

DNFd at 8%.

I was expecting something different with the memoir and found the talk of weight and how young she looked bc she was so small uncomfortable.

*Thank you netgalley and Simon & Schuster for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

This just wasn’t for me. And I hate to critique a memoir so I’ll just leave it at that. I really liked her photos and thought I might enjoy this but it felt overly indulgent and the pacing of the writing was weird at times

Any woman who has been told she was “too much” or that she was overreacting will find something to identify with in this memoir. Anna Marie Tendler is an artist who came to the public eye when she was married to a famous comedian, who then very publicly divorced Tendler and got together with a Hollywood actress. While this memoir dives deep into several relationships with men and various levels of damage and accountability, it conspicuously leaves a hole in regard to her marriage. Women who have been in tumultuous relationships will want to reread and highlight and buy copies of this to give to friends, and it’s just not meant for other audiences (likely the men on the other side of those relationships). (Recommendation will be sent to email subscribers of WordSmarts.com)

There were so many hyper-specific experiences that Anna relayed here that mirrored my own, and it's always a gift to be seen in that way. I've seen other reviewers point out how flawed this book is, and I don't disagree, but I found a lot of value in it and still considered it worthwhile. Anna is a beautiful writer, and though I didn't always agree with the conclusions she made, I would be interested in reading more from her in the future.

I'm a bit torn as to how to rate this one. Tendler writes very well and is able to immerse the reader in her lived experience. However, this memoir can be quite frustrating to read because of her often immature perspective, pretentiousness, and diagnosed neuroticism. Tendler seems to blame men in her life for her problems but also has relied on them financially for years to support her own life and creative endeavors.

Despite how much thinking (read: overthinking) she does, she doesn't seem to have a lot of self-awareness or take accountability for her life and actions. She blames misogyny and the patriarchy for any bad behavior from men and glosses over it when women act badly. I was irritated by her desire to wear every slight like a gaping wound.

There are some poignant moments, especially about connecting with women also in treatment and sections on her dog, Petunia. I do think she depicts her experiences very well and the effect of childhood and adult trauma on a highly sensitivity person.

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for providing this ARC. All thoughts are my own.

Starting this book, I thought I was going to really enjoy it. The writing is well done and beautiful in a way most celebrity memoirs are not (although going into this I did not know who Anna was, so was unaware she was a celebrity) and I found her recount of the psychiatric facility she was in to be oddly relatable for someone who has never been hospitalized in that capacity and full of the type of bonding and relationships that make being a woman feel more like a team sport. I also related to a lot of the flash backs of her earlier relationships and sexual encounters with men and felt the camaraderie of the female experience in these spaces. I also could relate to struggling with coming to term with the harms of an unhealed parent whom you love while also acknowledging all the ways in which they have made you feel loved and cared for. Life and relationships are complex like that and I understood her defensiveness in describing her mother while in reality a lot of her mental health struggle and coping mechanisms probably did stem from some of these earlier experiences. I felt like as the book progressed it became a little too entrenched in what felt like an attempt to justify a deeply rooted hatred for men, which, as a self proclaimed feminist myself, did not feel particularly constructive. I understand where she is coming from and agree with the importance of recognizing and working against internalized misogyny and gender based inequalities, especially in spaces such as healthcare and the expected gender roles in family dynamics and relationships, but at times this just felt more like a tirade against the male kind then anything else. I also was confused when I finished the book thinking I had missed parts because she talks about being married and divorced, but that is not mentioned really at all throughout the story. After googling it and realizing who she is and why those details were likely left out I understand why it’s missing, but it just felt confusing and kind of jarring to the storyline to go so in depth with such short lived romances and experiences with men and then leave out an entire marriage and divorce. Overall, I felt like there was a little bit of a lack of self reflection that I was expecting to see and I felt like I was missing an overarching element that would tie the story together for me. I did really feel in one of the final chapters about her dog and could relate all too well to that one as my dog recently passed away this summer and thought that part was very well written. I’m glad I read it and still enjoy the aspects of the shared female experience that this gave, but overall I was left feeling like there was something still missing. Thank you Simon and Schuster for the ARC!!

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

If you had told me when I found out this book was being released that I would end up giving it 2 stars, I would have laughed in your face. Now… what a huge disappointment. Sometimes it’s really hard to write a negative review about something as personal as a memoir. However, when the title of the story does not meet its intended description and much of the content left me with a sour taste in my mouth, it’s difficult to ignore these glaring issues.

The first several chapters of the book are quite engaging, giving the readers an insight into AMT’s struggle with mental health and her early days in an inpatient hospital. However, it is very clear from the get go and throughout the rest of the story post inpatient stay that AMT doesn’t really seam to grasp exactly why she found herself in the hospital in the first place. Anyone with mental health struggles might need several interventions, such as hospital stays, years of therapy, or medical intervention to truly start their healing process. However, when you couple this with the fact that AMT has had the privilege of years of care to this degree but has seemingly elected to fight it with all her might, she paints an incredibly harmful narrative that everything is a competition and nothing can be her fault as it comes to her mental health, trauma, and recovery, but rather the fault of every man that comes before or after her. Now I will be the first to acknowledge that some of her paragraphs and one liners about men and the patriarchy hit very close to home and honestly made me laugh at times. But when this translated more often to a very toxic presentation of white feminism, it can really rub a reader the wrong way.

In my opinion, a memoir typically has to end in some kind of “lesson learned”: a chapter or so dedicated to what the writer has gained from their experiences. However, it felt to me that AMT never really learned those lessons. AMT, to the very end, pushes all of her problems and responsibilities onto the men in her life and refuses to acknowledge the childhood trauma she experienced, especially that from her mother, and how being very closed minded about certain things kept from from healing on her own terms, in a way that she needed very early on in her life.

Interestingly too, for a book supposed to be bringing attention to the influences of men and the patriarchy in her life, to not acknowledge whatsoever, any detail about her relationship with her very well known ex-husband just left the book feeling flat. On the one hand, I do understand the power move in leaving out any information about that relationship, especially considering how public it was because of her ex-husband’s career. However, knowing that he was at least a large part of her initial influence to self admit to an inpatient care facility, it almost feels disingenuous to the story she was trying to tell to exclude him almost entirely.

I do think that the sections dedicated to her inpatient stay and how the women there effected her, her experience with IVF, and the death of her dog, Petunia, had some really great elements and kept the book from feeling completely one dimensional. However, the way that AMT (potentially inadvertently because of her diagnosis and overall lack of specific treatment for it) preaches a very harmful rhetoric in her story makes these bright patches hard to acknowledge higher these glaring red flags present throughout. AMT says that her ultimate wish for herself is to one day reach a place where she can face hardship without trying to destroy herself. Unfortunately, though there is some insight to be gleaned by the end, I think AMT has a long way to come. However, I genuinely hope she can get there one day.