A deep dive into one woman’s experience with anxiety and depression, and how her relationships with men exacerbated those experiences. I went into this not realizing that Tendler was married to John Mulaney (not sure how, but alas if didn’t ruin my experience reading this because (1) he’s hardly mentioned at all and really only in the context of her divorce and (2) this book isn’t about him).

While I enjoyed many of Tendler’s observations about mental health and relationships, I would’ve liked her dig a bit deeper in the reflections about herself. A lot of the narrative reiterates narratives I’ve heard before without going the extra step to give it a fresh take or make it more personal. I think her explanation of the interplay between men calling a woman crazy and, that dismissiveness causing irrational behavior, was compelling. I found it to be an apt articulation of how women’s response to men’s behavior is often weaponized to belittle women’s emotions and justify men’s behavior.

Overall, I thought this was an interesting memoir, but I felt it skimmed the surface at times and missed opportunities to really delve into the topics explored.

I loved this! Anna has such a unique story and voice. I enjoyed reading about her experiences from her own point of view. The book was relatable, heartbreaking, and surprisingly funny! I appreciated Anna's self-awareness and ability to recognize her own flaws. An eye-opening read!

Look, I get why some people might not like this book, but the amount of passages I highlighted were innumerable. I thought this book was brave, self-aware and unflinching in its self-examination. In some ways, the elision of her marriage among the stories that affected her is glaring, but it work as a looming literary device -- and it's understandable why she wouldn't want to go there considering the scrutiny. And it can always be material for another memoir.

A heartbreaking and eye opening personal story--this actually helped me realize that the anxieties that I deal with aren't ordinary and everyday, and that getting help can help me feel better.

I don’t particularly like to police the contents of a person’s memoir, afterall they are telling their own story, one that I don’t know the details of.
However, the publication of this memoir follows the public dissolution of her marriage from her famous former spouse, an ending surrounded by potential controversy, that no one could be too certain about. Naturally, readers assumed that this memoir would address that situation, even minimally. Instead, this memoir discusses her mental health battle, her (rightful) distrust of men, and how a majority of her financial stability has been from her previous partners—which I would argue is true of this memoir’s success as well.
The memoir is worth the read for it’s contents and writing style, though it likely will not answer any of the questions you were hoping to get from it.

I loved this book. Thank you to Anna Marie for opening up. In this book we get an insight into Anna Marie Tendler’s mind and life. As a fellow gloomy teenager and oddball adult I related a lot to her story. Very introspective and it feels nice to read about someone else has that has gone through similar situations.

I went into this book not knowing a single thing about Anna Marie Tendler; I picked it up because I generally enjoy reading memoirs regarding mental health as I am a mental health counselor and appreciate discussions on trauma, mental health, and psychology.

I won't say I enjoyed this book as it is a memoir and a rather hard one to read, but it was easy to read, relatable, and unabashedly honest. The author has had struggles since childhood that has continued into adulthood and painted her interactions and views with men accordingly.

Her instances of with adult men as a teenager was harrowing and hard to read. While the author does acknowledge the major red flags and criminality of the situations, I was shocked that her feelings and thoughts weren't explored longer on these topics. These were the times where I think the trauma was most apparent, but then it skipped over to later in life dealing with boyfriends who were rich and oblivious (not that she can't have strong feelings about that but the situations are not the same gravity in my opinion). I do wish we got more time exploring how those earlier interactions altered her views and impacted her present/more recent relationships just a bit more (I know it is implied but seeing the connections would have been powerful).

The author's questions about motherhood and not wanting to be left out felt extremely relatable and I read that part at a time when I was actively asking myself the same questions. That portion of the book was appreciated and I felt more understood and less alone in my thoughts.

It has been a LONG time since I cried while reading a book, but Petunia's chapter WRECKED me. Having a dog who is getting older, my biggest heart break is losing her too soon and I could feel the author's agony in the chapter about her dog. It was well written, emotional, and absolutely devastating.

While I enjoyed this author's views and ability to tell her truth, there were times where I thought the author had a very narrow perspective and had a hard time seeing multiple angles of situations (but hey, I won't argue too much because this is HER book and HER views, after all). One thing that made me scratch my head a little was the childhood trauma that was skimmed over and never really considered as impacting her and her views throughout the rest of the novel. Maybe that is something she is still working on in her life, maybe she didn't want that to be the focus of this book. I won't know, but I thought it was an interesting choice.

The other thing that made me question her perspective came from the last chapter of the book when the author was reading her hospital evaluation. I think her reaction for the most part was valid -- there have been plenty of times as a counselor where I have disagreed with another professional's assessment, particularly when that professional did not have a long term relationship with the client (such as in a short term hospital stay) or they are only writing the final report (as was the case for Anna's evaluation). The part that confused me was the author's ire over word choices. In the evaluation, there is a comment that the doctor makes saying "client denies hallucinations, mania, and psychosis" (or something similar, I am paraphrasing), then later the doctor make another statement that says "client has no hallucinations, mania, or psychosis." The author states, "words matter!" and vehemently states that these two statements should read the same. However. that's not how reports go. The first statement was likely made when the client entered treatment and thus the doctors' would only be able to take the client's word at face values that they do not have any hallucinations, mania, or psychosis., Thus, "client denies" is accurate, and it is a very commonly used phrase in psych notes and evals. Later, when the client goes through their meetings and tests and they are being monitored more closely, the team as a whole can physically see that the client is not experiencing those things. Hence why the doctor also includes their personal findings ("client has no..."). It's possible the author is not aware of this common practice, but having blatant anger over this particular phrasing was a bit too strong for me. Question the findings, reject the diagnoses, but the wording? The wording is fine.

Overall, I did find value in reading about the author's mental health struggles and the journey to begin her healing.

This was a quick read. I felt like Anna blames men for all of her issues and despite her psychiatric treatment, she still doesn’t acknowledge her thought patterns are the cause of a lot of her issues. Glossing over her husband was an interesting choice and kept the reader from fully grasping her situation.

In early 2021, artist Anna Marie Tendler checked herself into a psychiatric hospital with one simple request; as little contact with men as possible. Her memoir of her time in treatment chronicles not only her mental health struggles throughout her life but also the ways men purposefully and insidiously caused her harm as well.

Tendler’s vulnerability is astounding. She lays herself bare on these pages and will likely help countless women who will recognize themselves there. She seamlessly weaves her own experiences into larger questions about who gets to decide what’s normal and what’s crazy and by the end, it’s hard not to conclude that needing a break from men might be the only sane response to the modern world.

Quite easily, one of the best books I have ever read. Anna Marie Tendler expresses her experience with a mental health crisis and how her experiences with men of all stripes has brought her to where she is today. Packed with gut-punches and heart-wrenching details, Tendler's memoir is not one to be missed.

Tendler checked herself into a psychiatric hospital in early 2021 to address her depression, anxiety, and increasing compulsion to self-harm. "Men Have Called Her Crazy" is a memoir where she dives into that time while revisiting critical life experiences in her thirty five years.

It's the height of Covid when she checks in and we relive that with her as she introduces us to her hospital mates. The details are so rich and personal I wondered about permissions and NDAs. In her short stay she bonds with these women, makes determined progress on her well being, working closely with the doctors and staff in the program. She gains the tools necessary to evaluate her past, relationships with men, her parents, her work.

This memoir was incredibly brave, with raw honesty on every page. Her journey wasn't pretty and nothing is sugar coated. She admits to not being "done" by any stretch but she's gained the confidence to evaluate and navigate without restoring to old routines. From the title, you'd be right to assume Tendler's had issues dealing with men in her life and she recounts past relationships while she analyzes her own patterns.

Tendler steps back to look at the bigger picture. Female hysteria, women "acting out", the struggle women face every day in this world created by and defined by men, the patriarchy. It's maddening.

I found this memoir very moving. The prose was engaging, the stories brutally honest. Filled with hope.

My thanks to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the digital ARC.

This is a very moving memoir about mental health and the never-ending struggle that is chronic anxiety and depression. I found this to be very well written, and very easy to relate to. As someone with mental health struggles, I could personally understand this - but one of my favorite things about this book was that I felt it could reach those who haven't personally endured these challenges in their own lives.

I did not realize this was the ex-wife of a *famous person* when I started it. After finishing and realizing who the ex-husband in the story is, I thought it was EXTREMELY classy. Anyone expecting a scathing roast will not get what they desire there.

I want to preface my review by saying that I had no previous knowledge as to who this author was, or her husband, until after reading this book. I took it at face value and nothing more.
This is a very vulnerable memoir about Anna as she traverses various mental health crises, a voluntarily admitted mental hospital stay, her recounting relationships with not so nice men, and of course… her beloved dog, Petunia. (I love her like she’s my own.)
My favorite parts of this book were Anna’s recounts at the rehab. They resonated with me on a deep level - I too admitted myself in 2020 during Covid - and the female friendships she makes are extremely heartwarming. Anna being able to allow people to diagnose her, be completely open and honest about her struggles and traumas hit very close to home and I felt so connected to her.
A solid memoir and personal look into mental illness and how our childhood can mold us into who we are now, even if our perception currently is more positive leaning. Also, again, I love Petunia so much and I hope Anna knows she has a fan club in our hearts, too.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher who provided me with an ebook copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All of these thoughts and opinions are my own.

Tendler checked herself into a psychiatric stay for 2 weeks and tells the story interspersed with recollections of interactions with men. An interesting and sometimes raw read. Reveals the sexism and misogyny apparent in society but especially relationships. A fast read with relatable issues.

Copy provided by the publisher and NetGalley

With Men Have Called Her Crazy, Anna Marie Tendler has the opportunity to create a mental health memoir that reflects on the influences different men have had on her trajectory. She comes close, but ultimately the balance was off and it was a DNF for me. The way she spoke about her past relationships and male influence takes so much precedent over her own agency that it feels light on the self-reflection I was expecting. While it does seem like this is part and parcel both of the structure of the memoir and Tendler's mental health struggles broadly, it felt like it came from a different era. Tendler's authenticity was the shining part of this memoir, but it just wasn't for me.

Thanks to NetGalley and publisher for the ARC.

I’m kind of torn on how to review this book. I thought that this writing was very raw and honest which I really enjoyed, you start the book hitting the ground running right in the mental hospital with Tendler. I enjoyed the weaving timeline with little anecdotes throughout the book, but I did find some sections really dragged on.

There are a lot of good reflections regarding her mental health, I think the author lacked a lot of guidance in life and it’s clear as she hasn’t had much stability or drive until she starts working on her art. There are moments I found myself mad at the author for not doing more digging in her reactions to others. The book is very much not a John Mulaney tell-all as rumored and he is hardly even mentioned, which felt very intentional. I think the author definitely is trying to distance herself and establish her own sense of self outside of their marriage.

I thought that the best parts of this memoir were the reflections on her complicated relationship with her mother. There was much conflict in adolescence, in tandem with a lot of love. The ending was wrapped up fairly nicely as well, coming full circle with her experiences at the mental hospital.

Thank you Simon&Schuster for the advanced reader copy access!

3.5 stars

Many thanks to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for gifting me a digital ARC of this memoir by Anna Marie Tendler. All opinions expressed in this review are my own - 3.5 stars!

In early 2021, popular artist Anna Marie Tendler checked herself into a psychiatric hospital following a year of crippling anxiety, depression, and self-harm. Over two weeks, she underwent myriad psychological tests, participated in numerous therapy sessions, connected with fellow patients and experienced profound breakthroughs.

Okay, reviewing this book makes me feel old, which I am, because I was not aware of the author nor all the gossip revolving around her and her breakup to John Mulaney, someone else I never heard of. I wanted to read this book because I am interested in mental health journeys, having an ex who died by suicide. I thought parts of this book were enlightening - such as her stay in the facility and the help provided there and afterwards, especially in the difficult times of Covid. But it also felt like a lot of rich person complaining - and I'm not referencing her mental health issues. But she hates men, yet is able to live the life she does because of them, and blaming men for all the problems in the world isn't fair either. Sure, patriarchy is real and ingrained and much of her talk about how women are viewed when reacting to men's bad behavior was spot on. There were times when I wanted to tell her that the rest of the female population deals with this, but we also have jobs, family, and real world money struggles. While her mental health issues were relatable and I was sorry for her, she did have the advantage of being able to afford treatment, afford freezing her eggs and replacing expensive meds - things that most of us could never do.

Since the announcement, I had been looking forward to Men Have Called Her Crazy. Like so many others, I had followed Anna Marie Tendler for years and enjoyed getting to know her and see glimpses of her life on instagram — and when she revealed this memoir, I was eager to get my hands on it.

First — if you are reading the novel looking for sordid celeb gossip about her marriage; look elsewhere. This follows Tendler's two week stay in a mental hospital, where she takes the time to look back and reflect on her life, her own illnesses, and the men she's dated throughout the years + who often invalidated her one way or another.

I enjoyed her voice—she was conversational and blunt to a tee. Even as she unpeeled and dissected these sticky memories, she moved through them easily. It was infuriating to read; not because of her writing or even her actions in life, but because of the men and people she described—all too familiar types of people who gaslight, ignored, or invalidated emotions.

Her writing of the women who were in her house at the hospital was especially beautiful. She wrote with such love and care towards these women, humanizing them and their own battles in a way that most people wouldn't. It's clear that she was intentional with what she chose to share and not share.

I think her best writing was on her beloved dog, Petunia. That was the one chapter that truly made me cry and you could feel every ounce of Anna's love for her.

While I don't think is the best written memoir I've read, Tendler is compelling in her prose, and I finished it in two days.

As I was finishing up the book, I did see some reviews that I wanted to address—which I don't normally do, but there are some things to be said.

There's a lot of people who seem upset that she talks openly about relying on many of her partners for financial stability and how she has never held a real career and seem to think all of her mental illness stems from it. There are also people who seem upset that she spends so much time talking about these relationships and doesn't mention her ex-husband. But—the novel was never sold to be an expose on her marriage. And, from the title, it's obvious that Tendler was going to focus on these relationships, evaluate them as she looks back on her life. And—she herself is the first to call attention to the fact that she's had to rely financially on these men. It's not a secret to her and she's not promoting it.

I throughly feel like people are upset they didn't get what they expected and are upset that the image they projected on her is different from who she is. Which is not the author's fault.

Overall, I enjoyed the memoir a lot. And I think anyone interested in reading a woman's journey through her own mental health and relationship with men, would enjoy this. Leave the expectations at home.

There were sooo many things I found really relatable about Tendler's memoir (especially her interactions with mental health professionals). I loved her writing style, which created a good amount of tension throughout the book. Tendler seemed incredibly open about her struggles, including her time spent in in-patient treatment. However, at the end of the book, there were certain areas that were left unexplored. For example, she mentions having a brother briefly, but we don't learn anything about him or their relationship. And the biggest gray area is her marriage. Since I follow celebrity news, I know that she was married to John Mulaney. I understand why she might not have wanted to go into this because it's a sensitive area (or perhaps for legal reasons), but their breakup was pretty big news and it would have been interesting to hear her take on things. Also, obviously, Tendler doesn't owe anyone anything and it's her story to share. But because she goes into detail about every other relationship she's been in (even going back to crushes she had in high school), it felt odd that she wouldn't even mention her marriage except to say she was married, and then she wasn't anymore. I would have felt even more connected to her story if we could have learned how this impacted her growth and where she finds herself today. Otherwise, I think she's super talented, and I appreciated seeing some of my own experiences reflected on the page.

This book right away put me off. The writing is somehow both sparse and too detailed, it's emotionless and has no depth. The through line is meaningless, there's no feeling it brings to the reader. Disappointing, bland, and a whole lot of nothing.