this is the arc I was most excited about since I started reviewing. I read it in one sitting, stopping only to blow my nose, refill my water (crying dehydration), and to text my friends that it was as good as we hoped.

anna marie tendler has been a parasocial figure in my life for quite a few years. like probably many of her young queer female fans, I learned of her first through her ex husband, but stuck around because of how talented and interesting she is. some people just exude “artist”, and she—from the Victorian lampshades to the tumblr makeup blogger past to the frankly incredible self portraits that I will some day have on my wall if I make more money than I currently do—is certainly one of them. this is all to say- I had interest in this book beyond as a random memoir, and I had high expectations going in. I love her public persona, I know the few aspects of her life that she and others have shared, but this memoir was the chance to learn more of her life from the source.

men have called her crazy is a title that sets expectations which it delivers. this book focuses on her stay in a psychiatric hospital during the height of the pandemic, alternating out with vignettes from her past, many featuring interactions with men or her family. it’s a book about female rage, but not in the meme-ified and commercialized way; rather about the result of repeatedly pushing women to their breaking point. it’s filled with hurt, with anger, with loathing, but also with creation, love, and a desire for growth. there’s a love letter to female friendship in here, not just long term friends, but temporary bonds forged through hardship.

the writing makes the story shine. it’s quite straightforward, sometimes nearing on stream of consciousness and other times abrupt. this helps to convey her mental state and feelings, in a way that drove me forward in the reading. it’s an easy read mechanically (though a hard read emotionally). the interwoven moments are powerful and help to explain and motivate decisions and feelings in the present. expert crafting, especially as a debut.

an incredible read

Anna Marie Tendler’s stunning memoir is most revealing in what it doesn’t disclose. For anyone looking for salacious gossip about her very public split from her former husband John Mulaney, you won’t find that here. Instead, this is a raw and compelling discussion about the author’s stay at a mental health facility and the what led her up to that point.

Tendler is a very gifted writer and she can now add this to her many other artistic talents. Her book is an unflinching look at the way men have affected her self-esteem throughout her life, and the impact this has had on her own mental health. She doesn’t hold back on the devastating effects of anorexia and depression, and I applaud her for her bravery in telling her story.

The book is written in alternating flashbacks between present day and her childhood and early adulthood. Of course her famous dog Petunia is a big part of her story and I loved reading about their special bond.

I think Tendler has made an incredibly powerful statement by not giving any space to her ex-husband. She will not be defined by any man, let alone her former partner. Highly recommend this very intimate and personal self-portrait.

Many thanks to the publisher for providing an advanced copy in exchange for my honest review.

I have had no idea who Anna Marie Tendler or her ex-husband were when I read this so it wasn’t read as a celebrity memoir to me. This was a bravely done raw and emotional telling of the author’s time in hospital and her life before then (omitting her famous marriage). It read very fast and really brought up the emotions.

“My wish for myself is that one day I’ll reach a place where I can face hardship - because I fear the worst is still to come - without trying to destroy myself.”

Men Have Called Her Crazy comes out 8/13.

Men Have Called Her Crazy by Anna Marie Tendler is a compelling memoir that reckons with mental health as well as the insidious ways men impact the lives of women.
A gripping story of charm, self-discovery, and amends.
A truly powerful book that dives into love, family, friendship, and self-exploration.

Thank you NetGalley and Knopf, Pantheon, Vintage and Anchor for the opportunity to read this ARC.

Thank you to Simon & Schuster/NetGalley for the ARC. All opinions expressed are my own.

“ Men have judged me and men have called me crazy, trusting in their own neutrality. But when neutrality is only accepted by the one who has created it, it is an illusion.”

If that quote felt like a punch to the gut, then get ready because this book is filled with them. Men Have Called Her Crazy" by Anna Marie Tendler is a personal memoir where Tendler opens up about her struggles with mental health, relationships, and finding herself. Throughout the memoir, she alternates between recounting moments during her 2-week stay at a psychiatric facility and reflecting on past relationships- with romantic partners, her parents, and her feisty French bulldog Petunia. Tendler gives readers an honest look into how mental health struggles can deeply affect someone’s life and how society often mislabels women who face these issues. It’s a heartfelt and raw account of her journey through challenges and self-discovery.

I first discovered Anna Marie in the 2010’s through her Tumblr page, where she shared makeup tutorials and photography. She came across as effortlessly beautiful and cool, yet still approachable, and reading her posts felt like advice you would get from a girlfriend. Tender’s memoir is no different. I related deeply to how emotionally invested she became in relationships and how she completely shattered when a romantic relationship ended. She also dives into her relationship with her parents and how that laid a foundation for her emotional well-being - “Parents can be our greatest allies, they can fiercely love us, but they can also be the cause of our trauma.”

One of the strongest themes throughout the memoir is how Tendler’s romantic encounters with men made her question her own sanity and self-worth - “Here is the thing about men lying to women while telling them they are crazy or overreacting. The lying, the underplaying on their side, makes us doubt our intuition and intelligence, so eventually when suspicions are confirmed, when we find out we have been correct all along, we do go batshit fucking crazy. And it is warranted.”

I was worried that this was going to be a book about hating men, and trust me, there are many examples of abhorant behavior that would justify such strong feelings. But in the end, Tendler’s ability to self-reflect and reclaim her power is a pure example of the resilience that women possess - “I have chased unrequited affection because to me, struggle is indicative of love. Volatility is indicative of love. Dismissal is indicative of love. But that is not how I want to love anymore.”

Playlist inspired by “Men Have Called Her Crazy”
- Felt Good About You, Gracie Abrams
- Mad Woman, Taylor Swift
- You Oughta Know, Alan’s Morissette
- Someday You Will Be Loved, Death Cab for Cutie
- Enough for You, Olivia Rodrigo
- Motion Sickness, Phoebe Bridgers
- The End, Halsey

I don't think I've ever been more excited to be asked to read an ARC, and Tendler's book is just as incredible as I anticipated. I've long appreciated her beautiful photography and lampshades, so I was eager to read her words, as well. Men Have Called Her Crazy is vulnerable, gorgeously written, complex, intimate, and SO readable. While the storytelling is framed by her mental health hospitalization, it's more a telling of her interconnected experiences and how they've shaped her into the woman she is today. Tendler has such a clear voice when describing her inner dialogue and emotions, and her ability to be so in tune with herself translates to such a deep and relatable memoir. This book is a profound exploration of friendships, family dynamics, and romantic relationships. Tendler delved into so many the issues that society lobs at women: sense of identity, the choice of motherhood, romantic partners, career aspirations, and existing with the weight of the patriarchy on our shoulders. I'm going to buy a physical copy so that I can put this book on my shelf and read it again. Read Men Have Called Her Crazy on August 13!

Side note: I cried at every mention of Petunia, and my kitty came and sat with me as I read the chapter about her passing. It's a beautiful and tragic thing to have pets we love so dearly.

Huge thank you to Simon & Schuster, NetGalley, and Anna Marie Tendler for the ARC!

Anna Marie Tendler has written one of the most engaging, open and honest books I have read about mental health. This memoir was my most highly anticipated books of the year and it did no let me down. At times, this book is both raw and powerful. I felt truly seen by this work and it made me enjoy the art behind the book even more. Anna Marie did not hold back in her honesty and experience. There was no happy ending and that is okay, its the first book of this type that felt honest for not having one. I really look up to this work and can see myself returning to it again and again in my own moments of struggle.

I don't like giving reviews for memoirs because it feels weird giving an opinion on someone's personal story. That being said this one was spectacular.

Many people will go into this wanting to get the tea about the author's relationship with her famous ex, who I don't want to name since this book is not about him. I hope that once they realize this is not an exposé they will continue reading since this is one of the most authentic deep dives into someone's mental health journey I have read. The author alternates between the time she spent in a psychiatric facility and moments from her life and past relationships that led her there.

It feels like a privilege to be able to read such an honest and authentic memoir. The author is impressively self-aware and I was in awe of the way she was able to analyze her experiences.

I will be recommending this to everyone. Thank you Simon & Schuster for the ARC!

Thank you to Netgalley and Simon & Schuster for providing me an ARC in exchange for an honest review!

I was really excited to read this book, so it's a little unfortunate that I've come away from this feeling so conflicted. I can't quite put my finger on a concrete reason for this - there is a pervasive theme about hating men, but for the most part, Anna Marie Tendler is an extremely talented author and there's portions where she goes into the nuance about what she means. Other times, however, it feels simplistic and not all the way developed - I feel like maybe this book could have benefited from another round of editing, because some portions seem very strong and written with the proper context for someone to understand, while others genuinely seem to boil down to simple statements with no expansion.

There's also just the tone of the book. I completely acknowledge that this is probably just the vibe I got, and that everyone is fair to write their own perspective and how much (or little!) they want to write about their own life. However, it just felt like there were a lot of missing reasons in the book - especially in the final chapter, which felt a little jarring as Anna Marie Tendler goes through her diagnosis and the doctor's chart about her. It felt a bit discordant with the rest of the book, and like there was a lot being left out to us as the readers. Maybe the fact that her divorce wasn't really acknowledged (fairly and understandably!) compounded to my feeling like there were things being heavily left out, but the book felt simultaneously like I was getting a lot of technical details (like how rehab works) but the actual context of what was happening was extremely vague. That's again, completely fair for someone who is sharing their life story, but as a reader who is trying to understand and connect to her perspective and follow along with the story, it was a bit difficult.

It's a very well-written book overall and I'm clearly in the minority here, which is great - I was definitely a fan of Tendler and though I didn't particularly like this book, I'm glad that most people seem to connect with and appreciated it.

MEN HAVE CALLED HER CRAZY is anna marie tendler's memoir, an emotional and poignant story of mental health and the ways men can impact the lives of women. while i'm not much of a nonfiction reader, i do love memoirs and i was extremely excited to read tendler's. it was so raw, so powerful, and one of the best memoirs i've ever read.

i'm sure a lot of people are expecting this book to be a juicy tell-all that details what went down in tendler's divorce to her famous ex-husband, but this book is not that, proving that her story is bigger than just one man, and certainly bigger than all the men who have wronged her throughout the years. tendler's writing is witty, vulnerable, heartbreaking at times, and very easy to connect with. it really felt like i was sitting at a table with her working on some crafts while she told me the story of her life.

this book does deal extensively with a lot of heavy subjects, so make sure to look into trigger warnings before picking it up.

thanks to netgalley and simon & schuster for the advanced copy. MEN HAVE CALLED HER CRAZY comes out august 13.

Hands down, this is one of the best memoirs I have ever read. It is raw, and powerful, and something that needs to be read.

This book IS NOT about her marriage to John Mulaney. Her story focuses on the relationships which occurred before and after her marriage, and the impact they had on her. I applaud her for this as she could have easily focused on her marriage to sell books and chose not to.
The book contains two timelines, the first is Anna’s time in a psychiatric facility, and the second is the relationships she has had throughout her life.
This book is an important one, it is one of love and loss, trust and pain, and the importance of mental health.

Many thanks to Simon & Schuster, NetGalley, and Ms. Tendler for the opportunity to read this amazing story.

I really enjoy memoirs. A look into someone else’s life can be fascinating. This book deals with one woman’s struggles with mental health with an insight into inpatient treatment. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this advanced reader’s copy.

📚 PRE-PUBLICATION BOOK REVIEW 📚

Men Have Called Her Crazy By Anna Marie Tendler
Publication Date: August 13, 2024
Publisher: Simon & Schuster

📚MY RATING: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

📚MY REVIEW:

If you're looking for a memoir with a strong female who demonstrates powerful AF main character energy, this book needs to be in your hands -- right now. This is a brilliant and impactful must-read memoir you simply don't want to miss!

I went into this book naively - I didn't know who Tendler was. I wanted to read this book based on the merits of her story alone. Since I didn't know her history, I wasn't aware of all the tea regarding the fairly recent ending of her marriage to her famous ex. It turned out everyone (seemingly, except me) kinda expected this book to be a salacious tell-all that ripped her ex-hubby apart. Guess again, tea drinkers. Not only did Tendler share stories of her life WITHOUT getting into that marriage or its ending, she shared her stories in a way that validated her own life experiences within their OWN space. I believe the omission was done with intention to emphasize Tendler's powerful declaration of freedom from being defined - and limited - by those around her.

The story is told in alternating timelines between Tendler's stay in an inpatient hospital in 2021 to address mental health and self-harming behavior, and times in her life impacted by her relationships with men. The juxtaposition of these timelines created a deeper understanding of how she got here -- and how far she's come.

This book deals with really heavy topics, and while I can tell you to check trigger warnings, this book is like life: it's messy and hard and inspiring and beautiful -- often all these things at once. Tendler's words present these topics in a beautifully raw and vulnerable way.

This memoir was powerfully introspective and honest. A reclamation of Tendler's power in her life. A chance to share her voice and tell her own story, a story worth telling, without the synonymous dependence on the name of another. I was honored to be gifted an advanced copy of this book by NetGalley and Simon & Schuster in exchange for my honest review.

#MenHaveCalledHerCrazy #AnnaMarieTendler #NetGalley #ARC #simonandschuster #bookreviews #bookrecommendations #memoirs #fivestarreads #booklover #empower #reclamation #ownit

This was an honest and raw memoir about mental health struggles from the point of view of an artist but also an admittedly flawed human. Some people will go in expecting more about her ex husband and they will be disappointed. I think this is a very good memoir for a modern woman.

Insightful, emotional, equal parts heartbreaking and heart mending. I was a fan before this book but Anna Marie feels like a close friend now.

Thanks so much to Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for my honest review!

I have lots to say about this book, not the least of which is that I'm really, really glad I read it. It's definitely one that's going to stay with me for a while. In no particular order I have to mention the following:

1. It's very readable! The language was accessible and flowed well. Though I thought there was a bit too much detail included here and there, the book was overall hard to put down and well edited. Once I started, I just wanted to keep reading and reading and reading!
2. It's chock-full of insightful reflections. In fact, it felt almost therapeutic to me as a reader. Seeing thoughts on the page that I've had before but that folks don't generally discuss, notably in regards to the patriarchy, etc., was refreshing and empowering. It helps normalize an incredibly important perspective that's often missing from our cultural discussions, and de-normalize how toxic men can be toward women (and women to women in some instances).
3. I was fascinated by the structure of the book. It, along with the content to a slight degree, reminded me somewhat of Marya Hornbacher's Wasted, in that there was a wonderful interplay between past and present (insofar as present takes part in the psychiatric hospital). We do get some of the current day as well, which helped balance out and add dimension to Anna Marie's personal journey - though I actually would have loved more of this (but maybe we can get that in a follow-up book? Ha I'm already advocating for a second one!).
4. On the insightful reflections: I appreciated the parts of the book where she leans into describing/illuminating through anecdotes the insidious ways in which men gaslight women and make us feel and come across as crazy. One line about her interaction with a boyfriend in the airport really hit home. I would have loved, loved, loved even more of these specific examples and direct way that she calls out these moments and expounds on the harm they cause to everyone.
5. I was so glad John Mulaney essentially wasn't in the book. Though better advertising its content might help so that folks don't have the wrong assumptions about the book, I thought by focusing on herself, Anna Marie takes her power back, which is just as it should be. John's just another guy in her long string of disappointing men, after all. Yes he was her husband, but why focus on him more? Her story is bigger than one man.
6. I can't say how much I love that she wrote this book, especially as she talks about how she feels she's failed at so many different things in her life. This is such a triumph. And we're all works in progress. She hasn't failed; each endeavor has simply helped her grow into the person she is today. I feel I could genuinely be friends with her. I'm grateful for the care she's brought to her book and so happy she's sharing her life with people more broadly. We need more role models like her.

Anna is a genius. I was a fan of her before this, and even more of a fan after reading. Her writing was fantastic, and I feel like I learned more about MYSELF while reading. 6 star read for me!!

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for providing me an e-ARC copy of Men Have Called Her Crazy by Anna Marie Tendler in exchange for an honest review.

Wow.

The connection that I had to this book was insane. The female authority issues, people pleasing tendencies induced by fear, self harm in the same method, unaliving ideations, apathetic divorced parents, and right down to the IED misdiagnosis. I am so thankful to the owner for being bold enough to share her story. This is a heartbreaking and beautiful story of a woman's struggle with mental health, trauma, and self discovery. Anna captures the phrase of "healing isn't linear" so perfectly in her powerful closing statements. I hope that this book is as impactful for others as it was for me!

one of those books where i thought that i’d be a spectator but then at some point i realized we were holding hands and crying

many thanks to simon & schuster and netgalley for the advance reader copy.

Men Have Called Her Crazy describes Anna Marie Tendler's mental health challenges and the impact of men in her life. In early 2021, Tendler checked herself into a psychiatric hospital following a year of intense anxiety, depression, and self harm. The book goes back and forward sharing her two week stay at the hospital and important moments that preceded and followed it involving men. Tendler recalls the theraphy sessions and tests, her relationships from highschool til her thirties, and her decision to freeze her eggs in great detail. Her prose is very direct and not a word is listed. I think this book is excellent for many reasons. For one, it examines the societal pressures that women face today. But it also shows the challenges of getting help and treatment itself. Her anxiety inducing relationship with her long time therapist, showed both how it's vital to feel safe in treatment and to reexamine the relationship with a provider then adjust accordingly. I loved when she talked about her creating art and interior design. Specifically, The Arts and Crafts movement where rooms embody environments thus every inch is considered.

Thank you NetGalley and Simon and Schuster for the ARC .