Have you watched Game of Thrones? Of Course you have, haven't we all? Remember Hodor? This is his story, in his own words of how he got to that role. Kristian Nairn is a very unique person and his story is fascinating. This book was a fun read and taught me so much more about him as a person.

I found this to be a very interesting read since I was such a big fan of the Game of Thrones TV series (I never read the books) although the format of jumping from what I would call traditional memoir chapters to Game of Thrones related chapters in a back and forth manner was a little off putting.

This book is an absolute must for Game of Thrones fans, as well as Our Flag Means Death crew.
3.5 stars
Thank you very much to Hachette and NetGalley for the ARC!

I was pretty disappointed with this one. I usually love memoirs by entertainment people, but this one was just dry and confusing. It felt like the author was told to write something about his career but no one hired him a good ghostwriter.

The Dullest Hollywood Fame Story Ever Told
The “Introduction” records the most dull conversation with an agent imaginable. Instead of just delivering a new role, there is a delay of the news, as they babble about nothing. Then there is an account of an awkward audition, which is sprinkled with internal slang. Then, a puffery of fame and the series follows. He is shocked to have been chosen over others as he has been a drag-queen with “delusions of grandeur”. He keeps saying he is anxious and nervous, as he reports dull conversations that do not really explain just why exactly he was chosen over others with a lot more experience. It is written as if the actor cannot “blab about the… discussion”, and so it was written by somebody who was not there and thus cannot disclose what actually happened, and delivers fluff that sounds like what an audition for this role might have been like. In the conclusion of this chapter, they ask him if he would be willing to appear naked, and after a hesitation over his “naked body” being shown “to a million-plus”, he agrees. His hesitation seems to have been over the fact that as a drag performer he has gender-dysphoria, or feels that his visible gender does not conform to the gender he feels that he is; exposing his male genitals would have thus been psychologically damaging. But he does not say this directly and instead mentions related abstractions (18).
“Chapter 1: Lisburn” is a bit denser, including some more specific descriptions. He describes stuff he is watching on TV, and puffs female superheroes. Several pages later, he is still talking about his Mum and a farm house, with sudden shocking revelations, such as that his Mum has been “raped” (68). “Chapter 11: Freak Magnet” is a bit more interesting as it mentions the application of makeup. But then again there are pop-culture pufferies, and mentions of a shooting of a famous politician, and general fears associated with being an out gay person in Belfast or London.
I do not like this book. This is the type of book I might see in a nightmare. The blurb’s promise made it sound great. I imagined a dense account of all the corrupt dealings I saw when I was in Hollywood that kept me from getting in, but from the perspective of somebody who just says “yes” to the steal. There could have also been a sincere description of how gender-dysphoria develops, as surely one does not simply see pretty female superheroes in films and decide one would rather be a woman. I would have been interested in reading about just how one in fact makes money as a drag-queen. Or perhaps there could have been a description of how one studies for an audition, or prepares for a scene. Instead, it’s just a guy repeating lines with slight dramatic effect, and he’s chosen and then just goes through the motions. It is difficult to imagine how this book could have been written any more badly. It’s a puffery of fame, and an advertisement of a franchise, which fails to disclose this intention. For example, there’s a mention that “Revvlon Miguel” worked “as a door whore at the gay superclub Heaven”, but then the term is revealed as a joke, as he reports that he was “handing out leaflets” and other dull activities. If you’re going to hint you worked as a prostitute, just go there, or if you are uncomfortable with this direction, why hint at it… (124)
If you have been reading this review, and you think it sounds interesting, go ahead, and buy this book. But if dull surface descriptions are not appealing, I recommend readers stay away.
--Pennsylvania Literary Journal, Summer 2024 issue

I enjoyed this! As a huge OFMD fan I would have loved to see a bit more about the show, but it was still a fascinating book by a fascinating person.

(Also, this is probably obvious but just in case someone hasn't seen the shows: this book contains spoilers for Game of Thrones and Our Flag Means Death.)

Awww, Kristian Nairn! This autobiography alternates between two stories. First, it's the tale of how Nairn grew from a young boy in Belfast, painfully self-conscious about his size and his growing knowledge that he was also different because he was gay, into a confident drag performer and DJ. But equally, it's the story of Nairn's experiences as the actor playing Hodor in Game of Thrones. I'm only a casual GoT fan so was a lot more interested in the first story, and it grew a little difficult to keep the timeline straight in the alternating chapters as they went on - I would have liked date markers at the beginning of each chapter - and since I grew to really love Nairn due to his role as Wee John in Our Flag Means Death, I was a little disappointed that he only spoke about it in the very last chapter. But! It makes for such a positive ending, being welcomed into the cast of this show that wanted him for himself and not just for his size. Overall, an entertaining read, and Game of Thrones fans will no doubt exult in all the juicy behind-the-scenes details and gossip.