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While I couldn't personally relate to the women conned by a catfisher in this book (the red flags and tells were immediate and plentiful), I had to keep listening. The lack of satisfactory ending is perhaps the most compelling part. You'll be infuriated (and furiously googling) by the end.
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Thank you to @grandcentralpub for a finished copy and audio copy of this novel in exchange for an honest review!
This is a non-fiction, memoir-esque account of three women who were catfished by the same person in 2011. Online dating was a new exciting way to meet a potential new partner, so the risks were less familiar than they are today when online dating has progressed. This book highlights the risks that were present and that these three women faced, one for years! It also delves into the lack of laws surrounding this area.
I listened to the audiobook of this one and I can’t recommend it enough. It is narrated by the author, and I thought this was an intimate choice, as most of the novel is conversation between the three women and Ethan. Ethan is narrated by someone else, so it felt like you were listening to a conversation. The way the story was told reminded me of reminiscing with girlfriends. It was open, vulnerable, familiar and honest. Loved it!
When I find a good non-fiction book, I can’t help but sing it’s praises. A lot of people assume that non-fiction isn’t as enjoyable, and I’ve read my fair share of slow non-fiction. This is not that. I kept wanting to put my other books down to go to this one because it was so enthralling. I needed to know what happened and who Ethan was and was shocked when I found out!
This is one of the best books I have read this year. You have seriously got to check it out!
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This was a good but scary book, both in that happened, that the perpetrator is still around and a doctor, and also to consider the strong desire for connection and love that drives all of us
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Narration: B+
Content: B
Best Aspect: Very different and shocking in many parts.
Worst Aspect: Parts are hard to believe, like how did they not catch on.
Recommend: Yes.
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Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette Audio for the ARC of this book! I don't read a lot of non-fiction but this book was talked about at the GCP webinar and it sounded interesting. This true crime/memoir follows three women who were all being catfished by the same person. For people in the modern dating world, I think a lot of aspects of this story will be relatable, even if it's just in how "Ethan" behaves. Might be triggering for some people. I enjoyed the narrators, but feel like I would have enjoyed reading the physical book more. There's quite a lot of dialogue and chat messages and it was slightly hard to keep up with at times.
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A gripping psychological crime book that kept me searching for times to listen. This audiobook kept me engaged. Wonderful narration by both Anna and the voice of Ethan that really made the story come to life. A disturbing look at the ugly side of the online dating world.
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This was an addictive listen. It's hard to believe that there are people out in the world that are sick enough to think it's okay to do things like this to others. I'm going to keep my review brief and vague in case people haven't read about this on the internet. Even though I had my suspicions as I listened to the audiobook, my mouth still dropped wide open when things were confirmed. Some people really are self-centered and have no comprehension about how their actions affect others.
My heart broke for the people negatively impacted by the person known as Ethan. I hope that karma has its day there.....
Thank you to NetGalley for the complimentary copy of this audiobook. I voluntarily chose to listen to and review it and the opinions contained within are my own.
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Wow! All I can say is wow. This book had me hooked from the very beginning. I was so engrossed with every persons story
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i thoroughly enjoy this book! I felt for all three of these women, plus the other victims, and I am terrified that “Ethan” is a doctor in my state. Having lived through all of the Catfishes… movies and shows, I went into this a little jaded but was quickly enthralled. Having lived through the era of not having the ability to reverse image search or google someone to no end - this book brought me right back there. I knew the panic of wanting to trust someone but also knowing that something was amiss.
While the book got a little repetitive, I also thought that this underscored how each victim was feeling. This was fast paced, even the parts that were a little tedious, and I totally recommend!
I thought the narrators did a great job bringing everyone to life and I thought this added a lot of depth to the story.
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There Is No Ethan is described as a tale that follows "three women who caught America's biggest catfish."
It is not! It is, to start, four hours of dramatic readings of personal gchat messages between Anna Akbari, the author, and "Ethan Schuman". (The one good thing about this book as audio is that they got a male voice to read "Ethan"'s parts.)
For a while I thought to myself, "this could have been a Medium article!" Well it was! Or The Observer, close enough: https://observer.com/2014/11/the-talented-mr-schuman-love-and-mistaken-identity-in-the-internet-age/ (because The Atlantic refused to publish).
Of course it's horrifying that (spoiler) masqueraded as a dude and led these "professional, smart women" on for literally years -- while never once meeting or talking on the phone with them until after the jig was up -- and it's horrifying that spoiler, in the end there's zero consequences besides a google search of "Ethan Schuman" that brings you to six thousand entries about this book... and then this article from 2014.
By the way, all of this happened in 2011 to Akbari, so what made her write a book about it in 2023? Why did she think random strangers needed to read/listen to intensely personal gchat messages and e-mails between she and the catfish (as well as the other two women referenced)? Did something new happen with this case or in her life? Inquiring minds.
This will be a good listen to you if you love reading super personal chats, or love hearing about women being strung along and abused and suffering, or catfish stories in general (although "America's Biggest" is a huge stretch especially considering the role Ireland plays, and there were like, six, maybe eight women involved that they think were affected, some of which only for a few short months?), but there is no satisfying conclusion except the identity of the catfish being revealed, and no consequences and not even any dive into why these "smart, successful women" were affected for so long (two of them for OVER TWO YEARS while never meeting this dude once!), but there's what feels like at times coded or 'beating around the bush' language about oh, how could this happen to such SMART and ACCOMPLISHED women who did not DESERVE it ma'am who are you saying do deserve it...?? Weird.
Anyway, rounding up to two stars JUST because I appreciated the second voice, but I do wish that the other two women involved in the catch had more of their POVs involved other than just Akbari reading their private chats out into the world, but I guess that's why they're not credited as cowriters or anything.
Thank you to NetGalley and Hatchette Audio/Grand Central Publishing for the ALC in exchange for review!
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There's just something about a catfish story that always draws me in. I listened to this one on audiobook, and it was a book that I could not stop playing until I had finished it. The book is divided into multiple parts, chronicling the experiences of three different women and their respective relationships with "Ethan", and then the events that unfold after discovering Ethan's true identity. I felt that Anna A.'s own personal story was the strongest, which makes sense. After all, it was her own story. It was also told first in the book (even though chronologically it did not happen first). Once you hear similar details over and over again in the other women's stories later, the narrative can start to feel a little tedious.
As with most catfish stories, this one brings up interesting questions about sociopathy, digital crime, mental health, and dating in the digital age. Overall, the resolution left me feeling a little icky and disheartened, but that is often the case with catfish stories. If you enjoyed the podcast Sweet Bobby, I would recommend There Is No Ethan.
CW: gaslighting, online bullying, mental health, cancer
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There is no Ethan was a really interesting read. I thought it was a little too long. I did appreciate the intermix of the different stories (and different Annas) and how it all tied together. I also liked the story of contacting "Ethan" as the years went on.
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This book makes me very glad that I was already married before online dating became popular. Relationships are hard enough when you meet people face to face, and this excellent account of catfishing clearly outlines how easily it is to be captivated by someone you’ve never met in person. I think that this story is especially good in the audiobook format, as it is read by the author—I felt as if she was telling me the story personally and this format really brings all of the text exchanges to life. Anna Akbari and the other women who banded together to unveil Ethan Shuman and figure out what was going on deserve to be commended not only for their collective efforts, but for their bravery in sharing this story. It is compelling, and definitely a eye-opener for those of us who have never dipped a toe into this world. Thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the opportunity to review this fascinating book. Highly recommended!
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An audiobook read by the author and I felt like it was done well. The story itself was pretty interesting, the reason and purpose behind the catfish scheme of "Ethan"! I think a big reason for writing this book is for Anna to "out" Ethan and for more of the world to really know who they are and to be wary of Ethan. The reveal was well done!
I felt like the book was too long. The first half got bogged down in Anna and Ethans email and texting communication strings and circled around and around the amount of times they would meet up, to not meet. There was constant emotional manipulation on Ethans part, etc. We are then told a quick synopsis of the other two womens stories. Overall it was interesting but it wasn't written in a propulsive way to it tended to be on edge of a tedious read to get through to get to the answers.
Thank you to NetGalley and Hatchette Audio for the advance ALC.
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This is an infuriating and batsh*t wild story that will have you banging your head against the wall. In THERE IS NO ETHAN, Anna Akbari tells the story of her intense online courtship with Ethan Schuman, a perfect-on-paper man who matches with her on OKCupid, but turns out to be an manipulative, catfishing con artist who wants nothing more than to emotionally torture vulnerable women. Satisfyingly, she also talks about meeting up with two other women who were also Ethan's victims and banding together to reveal his true identity.
Anna and Ethan hit it off immediately, messaging constantly and talking about their serious intentions - he's funny, somewhat charming, attentive, a good personality reader, and more. They both have busy work lives and travel schedules, but Anna is insistent that they meet up so they can see how they get along in person. However, Ethan keeps finding ways to put it off, cancel, be stuck in bad weather, stand her up, you name it - refusing to even talk to her on the phone. This might seem like an immediate red flag to you and me, but you get to read the entire transcript of their conversations, and you can see how he love-bombs her into thinking nothing's wrong, gaslights her when she starts to question parts of her identity, and berates her when she even hints at wanting to back out.
Anna's journey with Ethan is truly maddening, but she wasn't his only victim. He did the same to countless accomplished, self-possessed, intelligent women, two of whom Anna is able to find online, commiserate with, and pool their details of Ethan's "life" to uncover who he really is. I think what disturbed me most about this book is that Ethan isn't a typical catfish who wants something - i.e., money - from these women. No, he only wants to reel them into the most intimate kind of connection, take advantage of the vulnerability women feel on dating apps, convince them that he's "the one" for them, and ensnare them in his web. Clearly, there's something deeply, deeply wrong with him - as evidenced by the conversations that come about at the end of the book, too.
Thank you to the publisher for the audio ARC via Netgalley! The narration was great - having the secondary voice as Ethan was a nice added touch and really brought the story to life, even triggering a cringe reaction from me later in the book when his slimy voice came up again.
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I listened to the audiobook and loved having the two narrators. The premise was good but I found myself asking why for so much of it. I’m sure others will love this one but it wasn’t for me.
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4.5 Stars
This one was hard to put down and I had to keep reminding myself that this was a true story. This is the story of multiple people who were catfished by the same person, told by Anna Akbari, one of the victims, who also helped bring many of the other victims together. Ethan is a charismatic man, who has captivated Anna’s heart over messaging and email but there’s one problem, despite many scheduled plans, Anna can’t get Ethan to meet her in person or talk to her on the phone. After only being able to take so much disappointment, Anna eventually becomes suspicious and starts digging into who Ethan really is.
This was such an interesting story showing how unbelievably far some people will go to deceive others. While I don’t want to victim blame (because at the end of the day these women aren’t at fault) I did find myself getting frustrated that they just kept letting “Ethan'' treat them so badly. Its okay to ghost or cut contact with people that are rude and consistently cancel plans. These ladies, all of whom I truly believe wer strong and intelligent woman just kept letting themselves get strung along and manipulated for months and sometimes years. Especially for the women who let it go for years, I struggled with how long they let this go on. I understand they were being manipulated by a master manipulator but it was still mind boggling.
It was interesting to see how Ethan was brought down and the real perpetrators' pathology to pose as a completely different person. I was shocked by the lack of consequences the perp has faced. It's surprising that even to this day many catfishes but especially catfishes at this level don’t face legal action because there aren’t many if any laws regarding them.
The author narrated the audiobook and did a great job!
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Thank you Netgalley for this audio edition of There Is No Ethan by Anna Akbari.
This is a true story of multiple women who were catfished by the same person, told by Anna Akbari, responsible for doing the extensive research and bringing everyone together.
Ethan is a handsome, charismatic man who has captivated Anna's heart. But there's one problem, despite all of their scheduled plans, Anna cannot get him to meet her in person. Even stranger, he won't talk to her on the phone. But the heart wants what it wants, and Anna continues to fall head over heel for this smart, often moody, mystery man. But she can only take so much disappointment, which eventually becomes suspicion, and soon she begins to start digging into who Ethan really is.
This is an interesting story, unbelievable how far some people will go to deceive. However, as hesitant as I am to victim blame, can we please normalize ghosting people who continuously suck? Cancel a meetup once? Fine. Twice? A bit frustrating. Three times? We're done! I've ghosted people for way less. But these ladies, who I truly believe were strong, intelligent women, just kept letting themselves get strung along for MONTHS, sometimes YEARS. I've never dated online, so I can't judge the situation, but it was hard to see how long the victims allowed for this to go on. But hearing about how Ethan was brought down, let alone their pathology to pose as someone they weren't was fascinating.
This could probably have been a fraction of the length, but I still thoroughly enjoyed this story, very captivating and unbelievable.
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Wow. I couldnt put this one down and had to keep reminding myself this was not a novel. I listened to the audio and think the author did a great job reading; not many authors can. I also loved how it was part memoir part observation.
I am saddened there aren’t legal actions that can be taken against catfish.
Thank you much netgalley!
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I hate to say it, especially since I had high hopes, but I feel pretty mixed about this book. This story is an extremely heartbreaking but compelling recounting of a catfish that manipulated and abused multiple women for years. On paper, I find that very compelling, but, in reality, I also find myself thinking that this perspective is just not for me.
The catfish, “Ethan”, reveals himself, quite clearly, to be a misogynist and overall bigot very early in his exchanges with our author and I believe most of the other women. This is never addressed within the text and all the women seemingly ignore this, in my opinion, blatant non-starter. I ultimately sympathized and related with almost everything the victims of “Ethan” experienced, but this hang up really bothered me. Then I sort of came to the conclusion that this book is just not for me. I personally feel like this is written for white, straight millennials and I’m none of those things. With that in mind, I would prefer not to rate this but since Netgalley requires it, I'll settle for a middle of the road 3 star.
***I received a audio ARC from Netgalley and Grand Central Publishing for free and am leaving an honest review***