This book broke me. We all know someone like the unnamed male protagonist, but few of us have the courage to confront ourselves with the honesty of the writer's voice.

This book was entirely depressing, and I found it hard to finish. How could the FMC not see the blaring red flag that her partner was ? OMG

This book was two fold for me. On one hand as I was reading it I really really disliked the main character Enola. She was annoying and didn't listen to anything any of her female friends said but constantly chose a man over herself and geez, get over him already! On the other hand, the ending was quite nice and what I hoped would happen, although it took the ENTIRE book for her to get there. I think the overall message of this one is pretty important and it becomes clearer and clearer as you read this one and watch Enola fall in love with a terrible man who manipulates, abuses, and gaslights her the entire time while also dealing with familial relationship issues and ultimately a huge daddy problem. It's a sad story to read but I'm sure this happens all the time to women.

What the writer does well in this one is make you, the reader, feel a bit off with Enola. At points I began to question what was happening and what the real story was. I was a bit gaslit by the story itself but eventually everything is untangled and you get an ending that is satisfactory.

If you were ever curious how it would feel to be in an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist, here is your chance. This book is raw, poignant, beautiful, ugly, and inspiring. I am thankful to say I have survived a relationship very much like this one and it felt like a bit of final healing being able to read about it from someone else's perspective. Best difficult book of the year!

This book really took me by surprise in the best way. I have found that I really love books where we just follow a woman navigating her way through a toxic relationship. This books was beautifully written, filled with much internal monologue of our main character, and compelling. I was immediately hooked into the story and invested in the main character's life. I think all women will relate to this book either because of their own personal experiences, or because of the times when we've yelled at our friends about the toxic men they are putting up with. Even when I was shouting at the main character to make different choices, I still was having a great reading experience and cared about what happened to her. Highly recommend, especially for millennial women.

This story also worked very well via audio. The narrator really made the characters come alive in the best way.

This book was truly haunting. The author exquisitely captures the voice of a woman falling down the rabbit hole of an emotionally abusive relationship set against the backdrop of her poignant struggle to reconcile her tragic past. The narrator was pitch perfect for the story -- having alternated between the audiobook and the printed version, I felt that she beautifully conveyed the tone of the written word. Highly recommended.

The writing in this novel is beautiful, intriguing, and thought provoking. The FMC makes decisions throughout the story that are frustrating. As I was reading, I kept thinking no, don't do that. This is complex and relatable story that includes manipulation and enabling. Her picture is blurry and slowly comes into focus. The end of this book made me love this novel. This would lead to a great book club discussion.

I really enjoyed the narrator of this audiobook. However, at the end of the novel, there is a part where I thought the book had skipped, but it was intentional by the author. I would have preferred to read the end of this book instead of listening to it. I would highly recommend this novel.

Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with the advanced audiobook.

Takeaway: it's okay to change your mind when you see the truth.

This was such an immersive, intoxicating read. We've all been in those early/mid-20s relationships that felt inevitable, all-consuming, and transformative - and yet, when we look back, we realize how much of ourselves we gave away and compromised on when we deserved so much better. This is a very contemplative, relatable, and compulsively readable take on this familiar dynamic, executed exceptionally well.

We watch as our protagonist Enola meets someone who makes the next period of her life so full of highs and lows, and root for her to listen to the part of her gut that you can tell is wondering if there's something there she needs to worry about. The story is told with that feeling of tense melancholy, and is tightly written, with no sections at all where I was hoping it would just speed up the narration a bit.

I listened to this on audio and I have to note that the narrator Victoria Blunt did a phenomenal job! Her voice was perfect for the protagonist, and it allowed me to fully fall into the story - there were absolutely no distracting ticks or anything of that sort. A flawless audio production by the Macmillan Audio team :)

I highly recommend this!

What It’s Like in Words is a heartbreaking examination of narcissistic abuse in a relationship, and it packs a massive emotional gut punch. The narrator, Enola, is nearing 30 and feeling adrift in her life when she meets “him” at her writers group. She falls in love with him quickly, but it’s clear from the beginning that he doesn’t have feelings on the same level as hers. He gaslights her and criticizes her and ignores her before apologizing and drawing her back in, starting the cycle all over again. It was such a Taylor Swift-coded book for me, so here is a description of Enola’s relationship with him, as told in Taylor Swift songs: “I Knew You Were Trouble” --> “Say Don’t Go” --> “tolerate it” --> “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.” The Swifties know.

Enola is the heart and soul of this book, and when I say that she was absolutely infuriating, I mean it in the most loving way. She was so believable and sympathetic and utterly frustrating in the way she let him walk all over her but yet I UNDERSTOOD. It’s a true testament to Eliza Moss’s writing and character development that I was so drawn in, feeling every emotion Enola felt and justifying her poor choices right alongside her. Moss uses Enola’s utterly devastating experiences with him to bring her to a deeper understanding about herself, and to finally acknowledge the childhood trauma she’s been carrying for decades. It’s a journey to the best version of herself, through her worst experiences.

It’s hard to get a book like this right, but Moss does. She gets it exactly right, and it’s so emotionally resonant and profound. Victoria Blunt's reading of the audio version is perfect; she infuses the character of Enola with so much vulnerability and wistfulness, and it immersed me in all the emotions even more. Thank you to Macmillan Audio for the early reading opportunity.

Some comps: Tell Me Lies, Adelaide, and A Very Nice Girl.

This was addictive and intoxicating, much like a car wreck that you can’t turn away from.

Enola is about to turn thirty. She is a frustrated writer who has yet to be published. She is estranged from her mother and has had no real relationships. She’s lonely.

Then “he” walks into the writer’s group Enola attends. And maybe it’s because she is so lonely or perhaps because he is different, rough around the edges. But Enola completely falls for him - in too deep.

This is a story of a toxic relationship. Enola is in love with being in a relationship for the first time, and she thinks this is what love is, even though he treats her horribly; it is all about him. She is desperate for this man’s attention or anything he can give, so she gives him a pass on his manipulations, gaslighting, and mistreatments. She can’t bear the thought of losing him.

This is a stellar debut! I felt so many emotions throughout, and I wanted Enola to wake up and stand up for herself, not be controlled by this man. The author made the story relatable, yet I sometimes questioned Enola’s actions and mental well-being. The line between love and obsession becomes blurry; ultimately, it’s about Enola finding a way to respect and value herself first.

🎧 I paired my reading with the audiobook narrated by Victoria Blunt. I found this production very moving -hearing Enola’s thoughts in a voice full of emotions. It was well done.

Thank you @henryholtbooks for this gifted book.

Thank you @macmillan.audio for the gifted audiobook via #netgalley.

This was a very realistic account of an abusive relationship.with all the intense highs and lows. It was easy to see how the main character, Enola, could be drawn into a relationship with the unnamed boyfriend. It was frustrating to watch Enola continue to be manipulated by him, but because we were privy to her thoughts, emotions, and motivations, we were not surprised. I liked how the author slowly revealed Enola’s backstory and how that may have shaped the choices she made. I also liked the portrayal of her friend and the way she responded to Enola’s toxic relationship. It would have been interesting to see into the mind of the boyfriend and see what may have driven him to treat Enola the way he did.

Enola, nearing 30, feels lost: unfinished dreams, a strained family bond, and a longing for love. When she falls for a brooding writer, her fantasies of perfection clash with unsettling truths. Over two turbulent years, Enola must confront her ideals of love, family, and self-worth, unraveling what it means to truly find herself.

If you want a rage read to pair with your love of Taylor Swift’s “tolerate it”, grab this book and cancel your plans. The writing is immaculate. This is a messy exposé of romanticized toxic boyfriends and the unraveling of gaslighting and abuse, yet it feels effortlessly beautiful in its reflection—just like she convinces herself she feels with him, because she thinks it’s love. The storytelling is as addictive and manipulative as the highs, lows, and withdrawals of her twisted relationship.

Don’t get me wrong—this story is darkly tumultuous, capturing the unnerving experience of too many toxic relationships (thankfully, I’ve never been there myself). I can’t imagine the agony of returning to an emotionally abusive partner in a frenzied state of denial, and I hope you never know it either. But that’s why books like this matter—they reflect how disorienting abuse can appear euphoric, much like the intoxicating writing style of this novel.

Also, Victoria Blunt? New favorite narrator. A++, 4.0 GPA, no notes, absolute MVP.

Thank you @henryholtbooks @macmillanaudio for the ARC & ALC

Perfect for you if you like:
Relatable portrayal of feeling lost in your late 20s
Exploring the tension between romantic ideals and harsh realities
Characters on a journey of self-discovery

I don’t read an exorbitant amount of literary fiction, but I think if you like these, you’ll enjoy What It’s Like in Words.

Similar to:
Normal People by Sally Rooney
Prima Facie by Susie Miller
How to Hide in Plain Sight by Emma Noyes

⛔️explicit sexual content matter throughout
⚠️explicit language (frequent), emotional abuse, domestic abuse, suicide, mental illness, eating disorders, toxic relationships

Thank you @henryholtbooks @netgally and @macmillan.audio for the complimentary book and audiobook.

This was a tough one to rate! At times deeply uncomfortable and other times incredibly infuriating. However, it’s also so very real. Most women I know have had a relationship with similarities to this at some point in their life. If they haven’t been in one, they have been the one begging their friend to leave. I started reading the physical book, but the author did not use quotation marks and I didn’t love that so I swapped to audio. Apparently, the quotation marks are used later on in the book, but I just stuck to the audio. Told from first person POV, the narrator, Victoria Blunt, portrayed Enola’s emotional turmoil perfectly. So… the rating. Did I enjoy the story? Not really, for 99% of it I wanted to shake Enola and “He” was the absolute worst and made me want to throw things. Maybe it all just hit too close to home. However, that’s also indicative of how strong the writing is right? That I could feel so strongly about, and for, the characters means I was truly drawn in. I did love the ending! I’m looking forward to reading whatever Moss delivers next.

This is about Enola, a woman so hungry for loving attention that she is willing to put up with almost anything. And she does. She meets a man in her creative writing class and is head over heels with him in moments. She is subjected to most everything we never want in a relationship and all it does is make her cling even harder to him, because it is what she knows. The mental abuse, gas-lighting and all that goes along with it are stupefying and so deeply intense, scary and sad. This is an intense, difficult story that finally leads to clarity and her finally finding herself with the help of a dear friend. Be prepared, this is a well written, but an emotionally deep, difficult and exhausting listen.

• nearly 30-year-old enola falls in love with an enigmatic writer, and begins to dream about their future together, even though he’s distant & prone to dark moods. over the course of 2 years, we witness enola relearn everything she thought she knew about love, life, and what she wants from a partner.
• this book so accurately captures that feeling of obsession over someone you love, even though objectively you aren’t happy. some of my past relationships felt very seen!
• questioning my own sanity alongside elona made this book feel immersive, and while challenging to read in moments, i’d highly recommend.

Enola is almost 30 years old and still doesn't have her life figured out. She works full-time as a barista while writing her book. During a writer's meeting, she meets Him—a thirty-something writer who immediately insults one of the characters in another writer's story. Initially annoyed by his comments, Enola soon becomes enamored with Him, leading to a toxic relationship.

This book follows Enola over the course of about two years as she navigates life's challenges, works on her book, confronts her past traumas, and deals with her friendships and relationships.

I find this book to be exceptionally well-written; it is poignant, honest, and at times, difficult to digest. It portrays a supportive female friendship that is not perfect but is always present. I believe that a book with such honesty can be hard to stomach, especially for those who have experienced similar relationships and can recognize the gaslighting and abuse occurring between Enola and Him.

At times, the pacing can be quite slow, which takes me out of the moment. I just really could not stand the relationships of Enola, aside from her friendship with Ruth. Enola seemed to oscillate between being in an emotionally abusive relationship and emulating that behavior, making me want to shake some sense into her. However, the narration was excellent and effectively conveyed Enola's character. Overall this book is a great debut and worth the read, but may be triggering for those who have been in an emotionally abusive relationship.

This book carries a lot of weight, from self-harm to abusive relationships. As someone who has worked in victim advocacy and the court system, I can attest to the beautifully nuanced look at these emotionally charged topics. There is no such thing as a perfect victim. That is not to place blame, but to offer a consideration in understanding the layers of a woman who finds herself with a partner that consistently harms her and pulls her back in. It’s called a cycle for a reason. I’ve worked directly with dozens (if not hundreds) of victims of domestic violence, and I am thankful that stories like this can be highlighted and shared. This book serves as an opportunity to start a very valuable conversation about what intimate partner violence looks like, and its ability to degrade the confidence and self-worth of its victim.

This book is like a cathartic scream, telling us exactly… what it’s like in words. I am in awe of Eliza Moss’s ability to present this story, in all of its gravity, as a debut novelist. This is a book that will leave readers staring at the ceiling long after they finish. What an incredible talent she is. I will surely pick up any and all of her future work.

What It's Like in Words is a compelling story following our main character Enola in her journey through her relationship with an emotionally unavailable, and frankly, really frustrating man. I enjoyed the story, and especially the background of Enola and her relationship to Nigeria and her mother, but otherwise it did feel like a story I'm familiar with. Girl lacking confidence dating a horrible man. The audio was a bit distracting, the performer often spoke with up speak, and often at times where there wasn't a question. It removed some of the flow from the storytelling. Thank you to Netgalley and Macmillan Audio for the ARC. A generally enjoyable story but one that likely won't stick with me. What It's Like in Words is out now!

You know the feeling when your best friend is telling you about her absolute loser boyfriend and how she’s so in love with him and internally you're having a raging battle deciding whether or not you should tell her he’s a total dick or not? And for the moment, you decide to just leave it. Then the next day, she calls you crying saying it’s over and you’re relieved and tell her all the reasons he was horrible, mainly because he was a major narcissist, and invite her over for a girls night, and she gets there and says they’ve figured it out and they’re back together now, and all that’s left to do is go scream into the void? Well that’s how reading this book feels. But I was simultaneously the best friend enraged at seeing my best friend being treated so heinously, and the friend being treated that way, because this book sort of felt like it was gaslighting me into reading it. It was uncomfortable and I just couldn’t get enough. The writing really carries the emotionality well and I couldn’t put it down. My heart hurt, but I. Couldn’t. Put. It. Down! This book is going to be stuck in my brain forever. Also, the audiobook was literally perfect.

I loved and related to this story so much more than expected. What a stunning debut. I was completely taken by the characters and felt every emotion personally as I was reading.