This was a very realistic account of an abusive relationship.with all the intense highs and lows. It was easy to see how the main character, Enola, could be drawn into a relationship with the unnamed boyfriend. It was frustrating to watch Enola continue to be manipulated by him, but because we were privy to her thoughts, emotions, and motivations, we were not surprised. I liked how the author slowly revealed Enola’s backstory and how that may have shaped the choices she made. I also liked the portrayal of her friend and the way she responded to Enola’s toxic relationship. It would have been interesting to see into the mind of the boyfriend and see what may have driven him to treat Enola the way he did.

Enola, nearing 30, feels lost: unfinished dreams, a strained family bond, and a longing for love. When she falls for a brooding writer, her fantasies of perfection clash with unsettling truths. Over two turbulent years, Enola must confront her ideals of love, family, and self-worth, unraveling what it means to truly find herself.

If you want a rage read to pair with your love of Taylor Swift’s “tolerate it”, grab this book and cancel your plans. The writing is immaculate. This is a messy exposé of romanticized toxic boyfriends and the unraveling of gaslighting and abuse, yet it feels effortlessly beautiful in its reflection—just like she convinces herself she feels with him, because she thinks it’s love. The storytelling is as addictive and manipulative as the highs, lows, and withdrawals of her twisted relationship.

Don’t get me wrong—this story is darkly tumultuous, capturing the unnerving experience of too many toxic relationships (thankfully, I’ve never been there myself). I can’t imagine the agony of returning to an emotionally abusive partner in a frenzied state of denial, and I hope you never know it either. But that’s why books like this matter—they reflect how disorienting abuse can appear euphoric, much like the intoxicating writing style of this novel.

Also, Victoria Blunt? New favorite narrator. A++, 4.0 GPA, no notes, absolute MVP.

Thank you @henryholtbooks @macmillanaudio for the ARC & ALC

Perfect for you if you like:
Relatable portrayal of feeling lost in your late 20s
Exploring the tension between romantic ideals and harsh realities
Characters on a journey of self-discovery

I don’t read an exorbitant amount of literary fiction, but I think if you like these, you’ll enjoy What It’s Like in Words.

Similar to:
Normal People by Sally Rooney
Prima Facie by Susie Miller
How to Hide in Plain Sight by Emma Noyes

⛔️explicit sexual content matter throughout
⚠️explicit language (frequent), emotional abuse, domestic abuse, suicide, mental illness, eating disorders, toxic relationships

Thank you @henryholtbooks @netgally and @macmillan.audio for the complimentary book and audiobook.

This was a tough one to rate! At times deeply uncomfortable and other times incredibly infuriating. However, it’s also so very real. Most women I know have had a relationship with similarities to this at some point in their life. If they haven’t been in one, they have been the one begging their friend to leave. I started reading the physical book, but the author did not use quotation marks and I didn’t love that so I swapped to audio. Apparently, the quotation marks are used later on in the book, but I just stuck to the audio. Told from first person POV, the narrator, Victoria Blunt, portrayed Enola’s emotional turmoil perfectly. So… the rating. Did I enjoy the story? Not really, for 99% of it I wanted to shake Enola and “He” was the absolute worst and made me want to throw things. Maybe it all just hit too close to home. However, that’s also indicative of how strong the writing is right? That I could feel so strongly about, and for, the characters means I was truly drawn in. I did love the ending! I’m looking forward to reading whatever Moss delivers next.

This is about Enola, a woman so hungry for loving attention that she is willing to put up with almost anything. And she does. She meets a man in her creative writing class and is head over heels with him in moments. She is subjected to most everything we never want in a relationship and all it does is make her cling even harder to him, because it is what she knows. The mental abuse, gas-lighting and all that goes along with it are stupefying and so deeply intense, scary and sad. This is an intense, difficult story that finally leads to clarity and her finally finding herself with the help of a dear friend. Be prepared, this is a well written, but an emotionally deep, difficult and exhausting listen.

• nearly 30-year-old enola falls in love with an enigmatic writer, and begins to dream about their future together, even though he’s distant & prone to dark moods. over the course of 2 years, we witness enola relearn everything she thought she knew about love, life, and what she wants from a partner.
• this book so accurately captures that feeling of obsession over someone you love, even though objectively you aren’t happy. some of my past relationships felt very seen!
• questioning my own sanity alongside elona made this book feel immersive, and while challenging to read in moments, i’d highly recommend.

Enola is almost 30 years old and still doesn't have her life figured out. She works full-time as a barista while writing her book. During a writer's meeting, she meets Him—a thirty-something writer who immediately insults one of the characters in another writer's story. Initially annoyed by his comments, Enola soon becomes enamored with Him, leading to a toxic relationship.

This book follows Enola over the course of about two years as she navigates life's challenges, works on her book, confronts her past traumas, and deals with her friendships and relationships.

I find this book to be exceptionally well-written; it is poignant, honest, and at times, difficult to digest. It portrays a supportive female friendship that is not perfect but is always present. I believe that a book with such honesty can be hard to stomach, especially for those who have experienced similar relationships and can recognize the gaslighting and abuse occurring between Enola and Him.

At times, the pacing can be quite slow, which takes me out of the moment. I just really could not stand the relationships of Enola, aside from her friendship with Ruth. Enola seemed to oscillate between being in an emotionally abusive relationship and emulating that behavior, making me want to shake some sense into her. However, the narration was excellent and effectively conveyed Enola's character. Overall this book is a great debut and worth the read, but may be triggering for those who have been in an emotionally abusive relationship.

This book carries a lot of weight, from self-harm to abusive relationships. As someone who has worked in victim advocacy and the court system, I can attest to the beautifully nuanced look at these emotionally charged topics. There is no such thing as a perfect victim. That is not to place blame, but to offer a consideration in understanding the layers of a woman who finds herself with a partner that consistently harms her and pulls her back in. It’s called a cycle for a reason. I’ve worked directly with dozens (if not hundreds) of victims of domestic violence, and I am thankful that stories like this can be highlighted and shared. This book serves as an opportunity to start a very valuable conversation about what intimate partner violence looks like, and its ability to degrade the confidence and self-worth of its victim.

This book is like a cathartic scream, telling us exactly… what it’s like in words. I am in awe of Eliza Moss’s ability to present this story, in all of its gravity, as a debut novelist. This is a book that will leave readers staring at the ceiling long after they finish. What an incredible talent she is. I will surely pick up any and all of her future work.

What It's Like in Words is a compelling story following our main character Enola in her journey through her relationship with an emotionally unavailable, and frankly, really frustrating man. I enjoyed the story, and especially the background of Enola and her relationship to Nigeria and her mother, but otherwise it did feel like a story I'm familiar with. Girl lacking confidence dating a horrible man. The audio was a bit distracting, the performer often spoke with up speak, and often at times where there wasn't a question. It removed some of the flow from the storytelling. Thank you to Netgalley and Macmillan Audio for the ARC. A generally enjoyable story but one that likely won't stick with me. What It's Like in Words is out now!

You know the feeling when your best friend is telling you about her absolute loser boyfriend and how she’s so in love with him and internally you're having a raging battle deciding whether or not you should tell her he’s a total dick or not? And for the moment, you decide to just leave it. Then the next day, she calls you crying saying it’s over and you’re relieved and tell her all the reasons he was horrible, mainly because he was a major narcissist, and invite her over for a girls night, and she gets there and says they’ve figured it out and they’re back together now, and all that’s left to do is go scream into the void? Well that’s how reading this book feels. But I was simultaneously the best friend enraged at seeing my best friend being treated so heinously, and the friend being treated that way, because this book sort of felt like it was gaslighting me into reading it. It was uncomfortable and I just couldn’t get enough. The writing really carries the emotionality well and I couldn’t put it down. My heart hurt, but I. Couldn’t. Put. It. Down! This book is going to be stuck in my brain forever. Also, the audiobook was literally perfect.

I loved and related to this story so much more than expected. What a stunning debut. I was completely taken by the characters and felt every emotion personally as I was reading.

“Worse than the notion of drowning was what he would think of me if I drowned.”

Oh, the gaslighting of it all. We’ve all been there, at least to some extent, and at its core that’s what makes this book relatable, even if the heavy handedness of some of the character actions really needed some work.

Conceptually this is a very well imagined gaslight anthem (if you’ll permit me to borrow the moniker of one of my favorite bands), but it loses something in the absurdity of both the main character’s stubborn blindness to her situation and in the lack of subtlety employed by her emotionally abusive boyfriend in his attempts to manipulate and belittle her.

It’s not that I don’t think This Guy exists in this exact form. It’s that there’s a subtler and much more relatable version of him that is a) easier to relate to for most readers and b) a LOT more common. Enola’s reactions to him also feel unrealistically heightened for dramatic effect. Again, it’s not that there isn’t an exact version of Enola out there somewhere in this sense, it’s that most of us can relate to her blindness to a partner’s faults and willingness to explain away small acts of cruelty, but likely wouldn’t be willing to stand there and repeatedly withstand someone essentially calling us stupid and worthless.

If the intent was to portray an extreme version of emotional abuse then I guess this hits the mark, but my impression of the book is that is was likely intended instead to be relatable to young women in general and the ways we often change or lose ourselves in looking for ways to exist in a world in which toxic male behavior is not all that uncommon.

Moss writes well and I loved the tone of this as well as her poignant observations about how far we’ll go to be loved, but I think a lighter touch was needed here if this is meant to appeal to a general female audience.

Writing wise this is excellent, it’s executed well, emotive and tight.

Plot wise I have read this book many times over, so it didn’t win points for originality, but major points for evoking a level of frustration I wanted to throw this book against the wall.

If you loved Adelaide or Thirst for Salt you’ll enjoy this. Looking forward Moss’s forthcoming work.

Thanks to the publishers and NetGalley for early review copies of What It’s Like in Words in exchange for my honest opinion. I mixed listening to the audio and following along in my physical and ebook copies. The narration is lovely, and, more importantly in my opinion, is easier on the reader as the majority of the text doesn’t use quotation marks until the last five chapters. I’m sure there is a reason for this significant change, but I feel like it’s helpful for other readers to know how the text is set up. The set-up, in addition to the coming-of-age content, made this read feel comparable to a book by Sally Rooney.
This debut novel follows 27 year old Enola through a particularly unhealthy situationship. Enola is working on writing her debut novel, and when she meets a handsome, older, aspiring writer who drops in as a guest at her writing group, she is almost instantly smitten. The two fall into their undefined relationship rather quickly, traveling together to Kenya, where Enola spent the first nine years of her life within months of meeting. The trip is a particularly stressful time for Enola and their budding relationship. Enola’s sister-like friend Ruth sees the way this man is manipulating Enola’s mind and begs her to break it off.
I was rapt, listening and reading as Enola spiraled through the intense emotions associated with young love. At times I was incredibly frustrated by her, but I felt like she could grow and handle herself. The book’s final chapters were unexpected, and I was left with some unanswered questions. This is a strong debut, and I look forward to reading more from the author in the future.

Careful of TWs but this is one of my fave books of the year! Dark, frustrating, and well-done. I'd recommend this to many of my friends and will keep up with what the author does next.

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for this ALC.

This was an incredible debut from Eliza! I loved the narrator, I felt her voice matched perfectly with our main character Enola.

As an almost 30 year old who has been in a fair share of toxic relationships, I found this story so relatable. Moss truly encapsulates the feelings of wanting to be wanted by someone.

Those who enjoyed Writers and Lovers and Green Dot will love What Its Like In Words!

Audiobook/Book Review 📖✍🏽

Thank you so much partner @henryholtbooks @macmillan.audio #macaudio2024 for the gifted copies and audiobook!

What It's Like in Words
by Eliza Moss
narrated by Victoria Blunt

About the book 👇🏽

Enola is approaching 30 and everything feels like a lot. The boxes aren’t ticked and she feels adrift in a way she thought she would have beaten by now. She wants to be a writer but can't finish a first draft; she romanticizes her childhood but won’t speak to her mother; she has never been in a serious relationship but yearns to be one half of a couple that DIYs together at the weekends.

Enter: enigmatic writer. Enola falls in love and starts to dream about their perfect future: the wedding, the publishing deals, the house in Stoke Newington. But the reality is far from perfect. He’s distant. But she’s a Cool Girl, she doesn’t need to hear from him every day. He hangs out with his ex. But she's a Cool Girl, she’s not insecure. Is she? He has dark moods. But he’s a creative, that’s part of his ‘process’. Her best friend begs her to end it, but Enola can’t. She's a Cool Girl.

She might feel like she’s going crazy at times, but she wants him. She needs him. She would die without him...That's what love is, isn’t it? Over the next twenty-four hours (and two years), everything that Enola thinks she knows is about to unravel, and she has to think again about how she sees love, family, and friendship and—most importantly—herself.


✍🏽 My thoughts:

This was so good! I started reading it but once I turned on the audiobook I ended up not stopping until it was over. The narrator was great and the story itself kept me listening. This is not an easy story to read or listen to by any means because there were plenty of times I was so upset for and with Enola. And even certain parts felt like a reflection of a younger and naive version of myself. Shoot I know adults now that remind me of her. I loved how the story ended… the amount of growth and choosing herself Enola did, made my heart happy. And for the readers that see themselves in her… this story will bring you hope. What It’s Like In Words is out TODAY 12/3/24!!

Happy reading 📖🎧

An interesting look at toxic relationship culture and the way women often get sucked back into being with men who they know aren't good for them. I thought this was decent on audio and great for fans of books like Colleen Hoover's It ends with us (minus the physical violence). Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early audio copy in exchange for my honest review.

Review
Title: what it’s like in words
Author: Eliza Moss

This is a first person account of falling in love - with the wrong man. Enola is a 28 year-old young woman I say young because it is clear that this is her first time being “infatuated.“ I would say most men and women have had this experience younger than 28 making Enola experientially a young 28-year-old. Her experience is one that any human can relate with. Infatuation, intoxication, obsession - another person. In this case, the love is unrequited not to mention the man treats her terribly, and she can’t seem to see it. I wanted to yell and scream at her to stop behaving the way she was - to stop letting him treat her with such disrespect. The man that she is “in love” with is a classic textbook case of a narcissist. She is an aspiring writer, but if she succeeds, he is the opposite of happy for her. He is also an aspiring author, but is not as talented as she. However, his condescension and criticism makes her doubt herself and the facts, and instead believe his lies that he has manifested.

This book, or Enola’s Journey, is like that car wreck. You can’t stop staring at as you drive by, but I loved every single second of the truthful drama that unfolds and I gave it five 🌟’s. I bet you will, too.

Thank you so much to Netgalley and Macmillian Audio for providing me with an advanced audible copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

I absolutely loved *What It's Like in Words*! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This book was everything I needed at just the right moment. The female main character was oblivious yet oddly relatable, making her journey through a challenging relationship engaging. Watching her navigate the complexities of love and self-identity resonated deeply with me. Eliza Moss has a gift for capturing those painfully honest moments we've all experienced in friendships and relationships. This debut novel is a triumph, and I can't wait to dive into more of Moss's future works! Highly recommend!

WHAT IT’S LIKE IN WORDS by Eliza Moss is a total rage read. I can’t even tell you how many times I wanted to scream while listening to this book. Or punch something. My jaw was permanently clenched. You know that feeling when you drive by a huge car accident and you just can’t look away? You just keep gawking with your mouth hanging wide open? That’s what I’d compare reading this novel to. This debut is dark, heavy, triggering, intense, and addictive. I seriously could not stop listening. It explores an extremely toxic and unhealthy relationship between two young writers living in London. If you’re a sucker for unlikable characters, and/or weirdly fascinated by them, then this is definitely the book for you. Both characters made me want to pull my hair out! Talk about dysfunctional! There’s gaslighting, manipulation, jealousy, and belittlement galore! The emotional rollercoaster this novel took me on proves that Moss has some mad writing skills. I was frustrated, annoyed, confused, and shocked the entire time. If you liked Pictures of You by Emma Grey, Tell Me Lies by Carola Lovering, or Adelaide by Genevieve Wheeler, then you gotta read this. Overall, I thought that this was a very impressive debut. Eliza Moss certainly has my attention and I can’t wait to read more from her in the future. 4.5/5 stars for WHAT IT’S LIKE IN WORDS! Grab a copy on December 3rd!