“Worse than the notion of drowning was what he would think of me if I drowned.”

Oh, the gaslighting of it all. We’ve all been there, at least to some extent, and at its core that’s what makes this book relatable, even if the heavy handedness of some of the character actions really needed some work.

Conceptually this is a very well imagined gaslight anthem (if you’ll permit me to borrow the moniker of one of my favorite bands), but it loses something in the absurdity of both the main character’s stubborn blindness to her situation and in the lack of subtlety employed by her emotionally abusive boyfriend in his attempts to manipulate and belittle her.

It’s not that I don’t think This Guy exists in this exact form. It’s that there’s a subtler and much more relatable version of him that is a) easier to relate to for most readers and b) a LOT more common. Enola’s reactions to him also feel unrealistically heightened for dramatic effect. Again, it’s not that there isn’t an exact version of Enola out there somewhere in this sense, it’s that most of us can relate to her blindness to a partner’s faults and willingness to explain away small acts of cruelty, but likely wouldn’t be willing to stand there and repeatedly withstand someone essentially calling us stupid and worthless.

If the intent was to portray an extreme version of emotional abuse then I guess this hits the mark, but my impression of the book is that is was likely intended instead to be relatable to young women in general and the ways we often change or lose ourselves in looking for ways to exist in a world in which toxic male behavior is not all that uncommon.

Moss writes well and I loved the tone of this as well as her poignant observations about how far we’ll go to be loved, but I think a lighter touch was needed here if this is meant to appeal to a general female audience.

Writing wise this is excellent, it’s executed well, emotive and tight.

Plot wise I have read this book many times over, so it didn’t win points for originality, but major points for evoking a level of frustration I wanted to throw this book against the wall.

If you loved Adelaide or Thirst for Salt you’ll enjoy this. Looking forward Moss’s forthcoming work.

Thanks to the publishers and NetGalley for early review copies of What It’s Like in Words in exchange for my honest opinion. I mixed listening to the audio and following along in my physical and ebook copies. The narration is lovely, and, more importantly in my opinion, is easier on the reader as the majority of the text doesn’t use quotation marks until the last five chapters. I’m sure there is a reason for this significant change, but I feel like it’s helpful for other readers to know how the text is set up. The set-up, in addition to the coming-of-age content, made this read feel comparable to a book by Sally Rooney.
This debut novel follows 27 year old Enola through a particularly unhealthy situationship. Enola is working on writing her debut novel, and when she meets a handsome, older, aspiring writer who drops in as a guest at her writing group, she is almost instantly smitten. The two fall into their undefined relationship rather quickly, traveling together to Kenya, where Enola spent the first nine years of her life within months of meeting. The trip is a particularly stressful time for Enola and their budding relationship. Enola’s sister-like friend Ruth sees the way this man is manipulating Enola’s mind and begs her to break it off.
I was rapt, listening and reading as Enola spiraled through the intense emotions associated with young love. At times I was incredibly frustrated by her, but I felt like she could grow and handle herself. The book’s final chapters were unexpected, and I was left with some unanswered questions. This is a strong debut, and I look forward to reading more from the author in the future.

Careful of TWs but this is one of my fave books of the year! Dark, frustrating, and well-done. I'd recommend this to many of my friends and will keep up with what the author does next.

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for this ALC.

This was an incredible debut from Eliza! I loved the narrator, I felt her voice matched perfectly with our main character Enola.

As an almost 30 year old who has been in a fair share of toxic relationships, I found this story so relatable. Moss truly encapsulates the feelings of wanting to be wanted by someone.

Those who enjoyed Writers and Lovers and Green Dot will love What Its Like In Words!

Audiobook/Book Review 📖✍🏽

Thank you so much partner @henryholtbooks @macmillan.audio #macaudio2024 for the gifted copies and audiobook!

What It's Like in Words
by Eliza Moss
narrated by Victoria Blunt

About the book 👇🏽

Enola is approaching 30 and everything feels like a lot. The boxes aren’t ticked and she feels adrift in a way she thought she would have beaten by now. She wants to be a writer but can't finish a first draft; she romanticizes her childhood but won’t speak to her mother; she has never been in a serious relationship but yearns to be one half of a couple that DIYs together at the weekends.

Enter: enigmatic writer. Enola falls in love and starts to dream about their perfect future: the wedding, the publishing deals, the house in Stoke Newington. But the reality is far from perfect. He’s distant. But she’s a Cool Girl, she doesn’t need to hear from him every day. He hangs out with his ex. But she's a Cool Girl, she’s not insecure. Is she? He has dark moods. But he’s a creative, that’s part of his ‘process’. Her best friend begs her to end it, but Enola can’t. She's a Cool Girl.

She might feel like she’s going crazy at times, but she wants him. She needs him. She would die without him...That's what love is, isn’t it? Over the next twenty-four hours (and two years), everything that Enola thinks she knows is about to unravel, and she has to think again about how she sees love, family, and friendship and—most importantly—herself.


✍🏽 My thoughts:

This was so good! I started reading it but once I turned on the audiobook I ended up not stopping until it was over. The narrator was great and the story itself kept me listening. This is not an easy story to read or listen to by any means because there were plenty of times I was so upset for and with Enola. And even certain parts felt like a reflection of a younger and naive version of myself. Shoot I know adults now that remind me of her. I loved how the story ended… the amount of growth and choosing herself Enola did, made my heart happy. And for the readers that see themselves in her… this story will bring you hope. What It’s Like In Words is out TODAY 12/3/24!!

Happy reading 📖🎧

An interesting look at toxic relationship culture and the way women often get sucked back into being with men who they know aren't good for them. I thought this was decent on audio and great for fans of books like Colleen Hoover's It ends with us (minus the physical violence). Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early audio copy in exchange for my honest review.

Review
Title: what it’s like in words
Author: Eliza Moss

This is a first person account of falling in love - with the wrong man. Enola is a 28 year-old young woman I say young because it is clear that this is her first time being “infatuated.“ I would say most men and women have had this experience younger than 28 making Enola experientially a young 28-year-old. Her experience is one that any human can relate with. Infatuation, intoxication, obsession - another person. In this case, the love is unrequited not to mention the man treats her terribly, and she can’t seem to see it. I wanted to yell and scream at her to stop behaving the way she was - to stop letting him treat her with such disrespect. The man that she is “in love” with is a classic textbook case of a narcissist. She is an aspiring writer, but if she succeeds, he is the opposite of happy for her. He is also an aspiring author, but is not as talented as she. However, his condescension and criticism makes her doubt herself and the facts, and instead believe his lies that he has manifested.

This book, or Enola’s Journey, is like that car wreck. You can’t stop staring at as you drive by, but I loved every single second of the truthful drama that unfolds and I gave it five 🌟’s. I bet you will, too.

Thank you so much to Netgalley and Macmillian Audio for providing me with an advanced audible copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

I absolutely loved *What It's Like in Words*! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This book was everything I needed at just the right moment. The female main character was oblivious yet oddly relatable, making her journey through a challenging relationship engaging. Watching her navigate the complexities of love and self-identity resonated deeply with me. Eliza Moss has a gift for capturing those painfully honest moments we've all experienced in friendships and relationships. This debut novel is a triumph, and I can't wait to dive into more of Moss's future works! Highly recommend!

WHAT IT’S LIKE IN WORDS by Eliza Moss is a total rage read. I can’t even tell you how many times I wanted to scream while listening to this book. Or punch something. My jaw was permanently clenched. You know that feeling when you drive by a huge car accident and you just can’t look away? You just keep gawking with your mouth hanging wide open? That’s what I’d compare reading this novel to. This debut is dark, heavy, triggering, intense, and addictive. I seriously could not stop listening. It explores an extremely toxic and unhealthy relationship between two young writers living in London. If you’re a sucker for unlikable characters, and/or weirdly fascinated by them, then this is definitely the book for you. Both characters made me want to pull my hair out! Talk about dysfunctional! There’s gaslighting, manipulation, jealousy, and belittlement galore! The emotional rollercoaster this novel took me on proves that Moss has some mad writing skills. I was frustrated, annoyed, confused, and shocked the entire time. If you liked Pictures of You by Emma Grey, Tell Me Lies by Carola Lovering, or Adelaide by Genevieve Wheeler, then you gotta read this. Overall, I thought that this was a very impressive debut. Eliza Moss certainly has my attention and I can’t wait to read more from her in the future. 4.5/5 stars for WHAT IT’S LIKE IN WORDS! Grab a copy on December 3rd!

This was an interesting read, but by the end, I felt like it dragged on longer than necessary. I appreciated Enola's character and her toxic relationship. That said, the beginning felt confusing to me...and while it made sense later on, I just didn't like the flow. I also didn't like the main character, who despite being 30-years-old, felt emotionally immature. The writing overall was very good and descriptive, I just didn't connect with the story.

What It’s Like in Words is a pretty heavy tale of relationships and life in your late twenties. Our main character, Enola, is a barista by day and an aspiring writer. She had a best friend, Ruth, which is a character we could all aspire to be like - patience, timely advice, reliable. Unfortunately for Enola, she seems to forgo her instincts (and advice from Ruth) to pursue a relationship with “HIM,” who is also an aspiring writer and a pretty miserable person on the daily.

Eliza Moss delivers a very powerful character arc. There is definitely payoff in reading this book to the end. With that said, you will want to hit your head against a wall in hearing how desperate and delusioned Enola can be in her relationship with HIM. I would recommend this book with the trigger warnings of emotional abuse, childhood trauma, suicide, and substance use.

I think this book will hit home for too many women, myself included. For all of us who have pursued a relationship under the guise of believing you could be a feminist and be happy with whatever the man was willing to give, despite knowing damn well you would rather have the happy ending - wedding, house, kids. Ah pain. I interpreted this as a critique to modern day feminism.

I loved the narration from Victoria Blunt. She really brought the characters to life and it was easy to distinguish which character was speaking with her voices. The English accent was wonderful in feeling more immersed in the book’s setting.

Thank you to NetGalley, Macmillan Audio, the author Eliza Moss, and the narrator Victoria Blunt for this ALC of What It’s Like In Words.

There should be a greater emphasis on the fact that this book is, indeed, very dark and very intense. The writing is well done, but the content can be a bit triggering. What It's Like in Words depicts a highly toxic relationship between a woman in her late 20s and an older man that she quickly puts on a pedestal, overlooking all that is problematic in their relationship.

I put this one down around 30% through because it was just too heavy for me. As a reader, you want to constantly scream at the main character every time a red flag appears. But if you're someone who has personally experienced a toxic relationship, this can make for a very difficult read, because you recognize the red flags, but also see things through the main character's rose-colored glasses. Others may love this book, but it was a bit too melancholy for me.

Thank you to Eliza Moss, Macmillan Audio, & NetGalley for the ARC! All opinions are my own.

This book was fairly captivating to read, and I think that really made it for me. This material in a less skillful narrator would have likely been much less engaging..


Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC in exchange for an honest review

This was...wild. I went back and forth on requesting it, both in ebook and audio formats, for days before finally deciding to request it. I'm glad I did, and glad I went with the audio version. The narration is excellent and really captures the essence of the characters and the manic nature of the relationships that are at the core of the story.

This is an infuriating, exasperating, cringe-inducing, wearying, emotional mess of a tale, but I mean that in the best possible way. I was completely drawn into the mania. There were so many resonant moments, as I remembered my own first love/relationship (I too was not his first love/relationship) and I too was subjected to a lot of the on-again, off-again balancing act), and they made me cry and wince and go "Aha!" over and over again.

It was really powerful to watch the attempts to save something that is already lost - it generated so many emotions, most of them negative, and really tested my ability to empathize as I found myself wanting to just shake Enola until she saw sense. (I can only imagine how many of my own friends must have felt the same back in the day!) The considerations of emotional manipulation, friendship, fear, grief, obsession, and narcissism were managed very well and really captured what it is to be involved in a toxic relationship.

This was a high-impact story and while it feels weird to say I enjoyed it, I did.

This book is an absolute masterpiece.
I have so many thoughts about this book. I was actually staring my husband down remembering every single time he has ever been less than ideal because I hated HIM so much and I could not stop feeling all gross about the negging and other things he does to Enola. That is the point of the book, right? Anyway, I kept wanting to put it down but then I couldn't bring myself to leave the protagonist because although I was annoyed with her for centering HIM, I loved her. She is relatable. I have a brilliant friend with a husband like HIM and ugh she frustrates me.
Actually I might fight with my husband anyway. This puts me in a mood to fight.

Also the other boyfriend was so cringy. I felt bad for him but he gave me the ick.

Oh and the narration was spot on. I love this too much.

This had to be one of the most frustrating books I've ever read, but it was really well written, so I kept going. The audiobook was excellent and I spent my time yelling, 'just leave him', 'why are you doing this?' and 'Noooo' at my phone. I'm glad I persevered and look forward to Eliza Moss's next book.

If you enjoy books about awful relationships full of gaslighting and emotional abuse, this is the book for you. Thank you to Net Galley and MacMillan Audio for this ARC.

Ok. 3.5 ⭐️
This book was a hard read. Coming from having a relationship similar to this one when I was younger, it was a struggle to read.
I wanted to shake the main character, Enola, often. And the gaslighting was painful to live through this character.
I did however like this story. I loved the ending and really felt like through all the trials and the addiction to this toxic relationship, we got to see Enola truly grow.
Thankful that Holt Publishing shared this one with me.
It’s a good one yall.

Plot: Enola is a barista and aspiring writer. She meets Him during a writing group. The story tells what it’s like when one person puts every effort into a relationship and desperately seeks their validation and coddle the other persons ego.

Characters: I think Eliza Moss does an excellent job writing Enola’s perspective. Enola was likely not an easy character to write, especially considering readers who need to like the characters to like the book. The themes in this book can create characters that readers can go really frustrated with, but I like that Enola can see the dynamic of the relationship but wants it so badly anyway. I also like that this story shows that people can be both the victim and the perpetrator of the toxic behavior in relationships. As far as Him - I think readers will all find they know a Him.

Themes: emotional abuse, manipulation, childhood trauma, repressing memories

Writing: I can’t believe this is Eliza Moss’s first novel. The writing is smart, strong, and even though there are other books that cover this topic I think this is different in that the main character is not always reliable and can be somewhat morally gray.

Narration: great narration, great production.

I really enjoyed this book and this writers voice.

Thank you NetGalley and MacMillan Audio for an ARC of this book!

I listened to this novel on audiobook, and I loved the narrator, it really added to the overall reading/listening experience! It felt like I was having brunch with my friends and talking about life and the social scene. This is another good example of a novel which speaks to the concerns of women in our current generation. What does success look like? What does a healthy relationship look like? And what is our place an impact within society?

While the book ventures to ask and in someway answer these questions, I did feel that there was nothing groundbreaking added to our everyday discourse. This book felt very similar to many of the popular party and social novels.

I would suggest this novel is you enjoyed “Happy Hour” by Marlow Granados! Overall this was a good debut, and I look forward to Moss’s next works!