What It's Like in Words tells the story of Enola and her two-year-long toxic relationship. They met in a writer's group, and he was blunt, enigmatic, and captivating, and she couldn't pull herself away. He was also the king of gaslighting, constantly hung around his ex, and was prone to alarming mood swings. And still, Enola kept pushing past those faults for those rare moments of light.

I love when a book can make me feel strong emotions, and I was so annoyed by both Enola for staying and for her butthead of a boyfriend for his entire personality. Anger-inducing as it was, it did feel realistic and painted the highs and lows of a new relationship very well. The narration was also incredibly well-done. All of the characters had a believable voice, and it pulled me even deeper into the story.

Victoria Blunt completely brought this story to life. She was the perfect narration choice and she absolutely nailed it. Enola was a frustrating character at times but Victorias tone really helps the audience fill up with the empathy needed to listen to her story and fully get consumed by it. I have this in print too and the story is amazing both ways, but I HIGHLY recommend the audio.

Thank you NetGalley for an advanced audio version of this book. The description had me really intrigued. Overall I would rate this a 3.5 stars. It had me captivated for awhile then fell flat and then picked back up again

Thanks to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the advanced audio book.

I hung in for as long as I could but, even acknowledging that this is literary fiction and that not all characters need to be likeable, I struggled with understanding why Enola was with "him." There was nothing redeeming about him; even when he was being nice to her he was making fun of her. It got to the point that I couldn't stand spending time with her either,

Ugh, this book was painful to read. For a debut author, it's a masterpiece. There were so many moments when I had to pause and stare at the wall because it took me back to my 20s, a time when I felt deeply every raw emotion of wanting to be seen and desired.

The story dives into the nuances of destructive relationships, illustrating how women can find themselves repeatedly drawn into patterns that don’t serve them—often without realizing why. It explores these dynamics without judgment, providing insight into how early experiences, particularly with family, can shape beliefs about love and self-worth. Through raw and honest storytelling, it depicts the subtle ways people internalize painful relationships and how those experiences can lead to seeking validation in all the wrong places.

This book reminded me of Sarah Manguso’s Liar. Like Manguso, the author captures the complexity of why women should decenter men, move beyond the need to be "chosen," and reclaim their self-worth. It offers an unflinching and painful look at many women's journeys as they work to untangle themselves from these cycles.

UPDATE: I was recently given an opportunity to revisit this novel on #audiobook via Net Galley/Audible - narrated by Victoria Blunt - and the experience truly enhanced the rich writing I had already experienced when I read the book electronically in May. I ended up absolutely LOVING this book and changed my 4+ rating to an EASY 5 stars.

I highly recommend it to anyone interested in: 1/ excellent writing - plot, dialogue, characters 2/ the relatable confusion and dissonance of being in an emotionally abusive relationship - the push/pull of the attraction and pain of abandonment - its addictive darkness and 3/ the triumph of witnessing an excellent protagonist find her own inner strength and identity - with the assistance of a truly great friend (Go, Ruth!) - while she also resolves relationship traumas from the past- family and other. This novel left me feeling lifted by a very believable and strong ending. Eliza Moss is a wonderful writer - this debut is excellent - and I look forward to anything else she releases in the future!!

This was added to my original review from the end of May but I wholeheartedly recommend this book and THANKS AGAIN for letting me experience it on audiobook!

An excellent debut novel by Eliza Moss. What It’s Like in Words is a well written and authentic story about what happens when a broken, codependent, young woman falls in love with a handsome, gaslighting narcissist. The book tells a realistic story of the unhealthy relationship cycle of passion, obsession, self-blame, and desperation. As an over 50, recovering codependent, with years of therapy under my belt, this was a tough read on audible. I kept screaming “NO NO NOooooo!” Every few chapters. I guess that’s a sign of great storytelling- but all the flash-backs it gave me will take a while to recover from. That being said - the writing was excellent and the narration by Victoria Blunt was entertaining and engaging. Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the early release of the audiobook.

I listened to this book on audio so let me first say that the narrator was awful. She was supposed to be 30....She sounded a lot older. That was strange to me. As for the book, it was super depressing. I know that people go through things like this all the time but I didn't get the point of the book at all. It was a toxic relationship with a toxic guy who was just the worst. I don't even know why they began dating at first. The author just glossed over that part. The entire book was dedicated to a woman's "relationship" with a man who clearly had issues. The end wrapped things up but very quickly. I did not feel like there was a purpose at all to this book.

If you've ever experienced the suffocating, all consuming feeling of desperately wanting someone to like you, to want to feel seen and cared for by them - this book may be for you.

This was a tough read at times, especially because I felt the gut punches and anxiety along with Enola. I understood why, and that made my heart ache for her more. But it was absolutely worth pushing through to the end.

If you are a fan of books like Acts of Desperation , I think you will enjoy this one.

After meeting an arrogant writer in her writer's group, Enola falls into a toxic situationship that she has trouble leaving over the next two years. Readers familiar with abusive relationships may find this a difficult read at times.

Thank you Henry Holt and Macmillan Audio for the ARC and ALC.

What It’s Like In Words reminded me a bit of The Book of George, but from the girlfriend’s perspective. The author did an amazing job portraying what it’s like to be in love with the wrong person. I wanted to just shake some sense into Enola, our protagonist, while simultaneously relating deeply to her experience and the constant making of excuses for the one she loves. It’s a bit triggering and I didn’t particularly ENJOY reading it, but it’s quite well done from a technical literary perspective. It’s got a strong voice, uses evocative language, and portrays multi-dimensions, well-developed characters. I did get a little confused with the timeline, unsure of whether I was in present day or past, but it usually became apparently fairly quickly.

I’d recommend it to lit-fic readers, but I don’t expect it to have strong crossover appeal to romance or mystery readers.

Audio: Victoria Blunt performs the audiobook brilliantly. She’s easy to understand (sometimes an issue for me with British narrators) and brings authentic emotion to her performance that made Enola seem so real to me. A+ audio!

Overall ratings
Exact star rating: 3.94
5-pt star rating: 4

Attribute ratings
Characters: 5
Atmosphere/Setting: 4.5
Writing Style: 5
Plot/Pacing: 3
Intrigue: 3.5
Logic: 4.5
Enjoyment: 3

This book could be triggering for anyone who has been in an emotionally abusive relationship or subject to ongoing gaslighting. The main character lost her father at a young age and feels abandoned by her mother. Now in her mid-20s, she is a writer working on her first novel while working as a barista. She meets and falls for another writer. Drama ensues in which she tests the meaning of love, family, and the role of memory and self-talk. The book’s story is interspersed with chapters from the character’s novel. While confusing at first, it adds a layer of nuance that makes me want to listen to the audiobook again.
My thanks to the author, publisher, producer, and #NetGalley for early access to the audiobook for review purposes. Publication date: Dec 3, 2024.

This was a really hard book to listen to. We all have been in a relationship or seen a friend go through what Enola is going through and you just want to scream "Get out!" but you know they can't until they see it on their own. There wasn't much of a plot other than the toxic relationship and that got a little repetitive and hard to listen to after a while.

I loovveee when I'm able to get both an advanced print AND audio copy, having both to compare and reference is ideal! So right off the bat a huge thank you to Eliza Moss, Henry Holt & Company, MacMillan Audio, and NetGalley for the opportunity to read early!

Gaslighting meets our (funny I say "our" bc I'm in the US and they weren't but it still fits) patriarchal society meets coming to terms with someone you love having qualities you don't - and the possibility those qualities are their dominant ones meets the dualities of wanting. Written beautifully, it didn't take long for me to get through this book. What felt like a behind the scenes look at being a writer was just a bonus.

FK THIS ONE HURT!
If there is any tinge of pain from an ex, BEWARE(Or am I just projecting? I'm in therapy. This isn't about me)!

This one really got me. Projecting or not, I don't think it will be difficult to identify with Enola. I found it near impossible to not self-reflect. Whether it's as serious as an ex spouse or as simple as an ex crush, if you really think hard enough isn't there <i>someoneee</i> that you find your thoughts wandering with? Were they the one that got away? You were so happy then... You guys always had so much fun together... Why did you end things, anyway? Wonder how they're doing now...
Familiar rabbit hole?
If not, maybe recalling a shitty ex you had will come more easily? Weird how you could have been so mad at him back then, he's so cute. And he's probably changed by now... Plus, I've changed! It'll be different this time.

Specific to the audiobook, I loved her accent! And how she narrated dialogue was flawless. I don't think you'd be missing anything vital that's lent to the story by the audio if you do choose to read print, though.

If you enjoyed this, I'd also suggest Scaffolding by Lauren Elkin, My Husband by Maud Ventura and Liars by Sara Manguso.

Dnf’ed at 32%. This was horrendously painful to read. I know that’s the point. We see the train wreck she can’t, but I can’t drag myself any farther to watch some guy treat Ebola terribly.

I was not a fan of this audiobook. I just could not get into the narration or the writing style. I did not like the main character at all but not even in a way that I hoped she would change or love to hate. She just was blah and immature. The book did a good job of portraying a messed up relationship and getting me to think about relationships though.