This wasn't my favourite book of the year. It was very insightful and I did find it interesting but the subject matter was quite tough which made it at times hard to pick back up. That said, it is a well written and well outlined book that had a lot of very valuable information.

I found it hard to get into this book. I pushed through and listened to the whole thing. It could just be me, as I'm going through a lot at the moment. I love the author's previous book and was eager to listen to this one. I appreciate that the author is looking into the connection between patriarchy and heterosexual relationships.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

reinventing Love was an excellent listen. I appreciated the history, various theories, and exploration of what it means to love.

Incredibly interesting; As someone who has spent a large chunk of time thinking about the particular struggles of both loving and fearing men in the context of a long standing patriarchal society.

The various angles of thought were fairly illuminating and the anecdotes provided a dose of life to an otherwise fairly cerebral exercise in the everyday issues of feminism via heterosexuality. That said, this is by no means a huge breakthrough to a new way of thinking. It’s an engaging read, and a good encapsulation of a very specific issue with little means of being ‘solved’. Likely, if you’re like me, you’ll have previously pondered many of the topics covered here. It does touch briefly on lots of other issues of social inequality but (I assume in an effort to not write a behemoth of a book) those are largely brushed by quickly.

The target readership of this will be pretty niche, regardless I enjoyed it.

I enjoyed this book, but I think the thesis statement/title is a bit different than what the body of the book delivers.

I was looking for new ideas/concepts to reframe/better heterosexual relationships. Instead, the book was a bit of a reiteration of all the negatives. Doesn’t leave us singles much hope or desire to enter into these relationships if a fair balance of effort isn’t even a potential laid out in the book.

Thank you to St. Martin’s Press and Macmillan Audio for the ALC.

REINVENTING LOVE: How the Patriarchy Sabotages Heterosexual Relations by Mona Chollet is a bold undertaking. Chollet challenges norms and makes a case for revisiting why we've believed what we do and asks readers to reflect on roles and happiness, on how men and women place different values on love. Chollet aims to offer freedom and a new way forward for women, one that could allow more flourishing through an awareness of your values and identity.

The audiobook is narrated by Alix Dunmore, who does an exquisite job flawlessly pronouncing names and terms that would be difficult for those less fluent with language.

(Thank you Macmillan Audio for providing this audiobook for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.)

This is an example of why, as the saying goes, you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. It's also an example of some of the challenges of translating authors who frequently use colloquialisms.

First, the good news - the narrator is excellent, with no tone of judgment or confusion throughout some pretty twisty phrasing and "franglish." Also, despite the free flowing path the book takes (more on that in a minute), the author does pull out some new observations about data that has been widely shared on social media and in the news that are quite thought-provoking.

As for the challenges - the big one for me was the clunky translation. I don't speak French, but after listening to this book I feel like I've picked up a number of context clues about French sentence structure and idioms because of the overly literal translation. The introduction is nearly incomprehensible with oddly placed and repeated adjectives, and while things do improve as the book goes on, there's a general feeling of Google Translate or a student exercise rather than the more literary translations we've come to expect from the major publishers. Since the author relies heavily on dialogue-filled anecdotes and references to popular books and movies, I think some of her points get literally lost in translation.

The second big one is likely related to the first - despite the title, the subjects addressed by the author meander through the current state of feminism as it relates to everything from workplace sexism to beauty culture to sexual fantasies. There is no direct attempt to answer the question of the book's subtitle (at least no helpfully translated attempt) or suggestions about either personal or societal changes. This is probably because of the unstated but clear assumption that "the patriarchy" is a monolithic entity across culture, class, and nationality. I'm not sure that anyone would suggest that there are no cultural differences between France and the US, yet the author lumps them together. Add in the absolute record-scratch moment when she offhandedly states that she could see no difference between Black and white women in a study conducted on college campuses in the mid-20th century, and it's pretty clear that she (1) is unfamiliar with American history and culture in a pretty fundamental way and (2) must live in a pretty monocultural part of France. I realize that adding "...of upper middle class white Frenchwomen" to the end of the title would be even clunkier, but limiting herself to the culture she's actually interested in writing about might have helped with providing structure.

Overall, if you speak French and can read the original, I'd probably recommend it...but there English language books that cover similar territory that will be easier reads for anglophone American readers.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.

It took me 3 attempts at the first 15 minute before I was able to get into this, but once I was in - I was hooked. Could have just been a personal struggle w the narrator, maybe w print I would have been off to a better start?

When reading the description for this, I wasn't convinced I'd find any new takes on feminism or love or any kind of relations. I was gladly proven wrong. The inclusion of pop culture was just a hidden gem in a book that should have been translated forever ago; English readers have been missing out (and ngl this would have been even better if it were more relevant aka it seriously should have been translated way sooner, but I digress).

I'd highly recommend this to fans of anyone from Roxane Gay and Melissa Febos to Ellen Atlanta and Sable Yong.

{Thank you bunches to NetGalley and publisher for the Audiobook ARC!}

Thanks SO MUCH to NetGalley for the absolute privilege of being able to listen to this book: if it wasn’t for being connected to them, I may never have found this absolute gem.
This book is so important ya’ll.
We have such an opportunity right now to change gender relations and do away with patriarchy entirely, in our society. But to do so, personally I don’t feel that we can get all violent and extremist about things. We can’t scream at people and shame them into changing, if we want the change to be from the very gut and heart, and therefore something that lasts even without hovering over a person, constantly shoving them back into their lane. True change comes about when you UNDERSTAND. (And when you have proper support- but if enough people read this book I think that would be there too!) And this book I feel like, helps both men and women to truly UNDERSTAND more about gender relations and patriarchy and the history of how we got here and how to fix it moving forward. It is very moderate, it doesn’t focus on shaming men specifically: instead it tries always to come back to “this system of patriarchy is at fault for all of it, and it’s THAT we need to fight, not each other”. But at the same time it does make sure to validate and call out that women have been mistreated and programmed to act in ways that are harmful to their own selves. It doesn’t just leave all the work to men though. Throughout, women are encouraged to think about their situation and ask themselves if it truly is helpful or harmful, and take responsibility for bettering their lives through actions. A lot of the call to action isn’t necessarily direct orders, but done through story telling. I’m not sure if this was done intentionally, but it makes sense that after so many centuries of being ordered around, that a book like this give women the room to come to our own conclusions and make our own decisions on what actions to take after having received an abundance of information, both through literature, and statistics and studies. This book loves love, and values the place of partnerships, marriages, and other relationships in society. It doesn’t want to do away with them as a means of destroying patriarchy: it’s just saying hey, let’s do this in a HEALTHY way, shall we? The narrator was fantastic, and now I must read the author’s other book.

This is a great book for feminists. It offers some new ideas and different ways of thinking about feminism and patriarchy.
With that, I think that this book would be better to physically read. The narrator is excellent and I love her voice, the content is just a lot and being able to annotate would have helped a ton.
The original text is in French and therefore there are a lot of French references that I felt were lost on me because I did not have the same media that was used as an example.
Overall a solid book with some new ideas that I will recommend to any feminist looking to further their education.

3.5⭐️
Mona Chollet’s Reinventing Love is a great deep dive into the way patriarchy is continuing the cycle of power imbalance and systematically devaluing male/female relationships.

I’m always reading nonfiction about the female plate and this book definitely tracks that box. Chollet examines how heterosexual relationship relationships create a culture of inferiority of women, perpetuate the abuse cycle limit women’s professional development and objectifies women in general. All of this she does through a French lens based with her facts and figures collected mainly from French (France) sources. I found this to be somewhat of a double edged sword. Her take was very fresh and nuanced, and I appreciated the non-North American focussed look on these issues, but on the flipside as an American, some of her pointer references were difficult to relate based to. I will note that Chollet does include some stats and figures from the US in her research.

This book was pretty informative, but I was hoping to have more solutions and not just the outlying of how things are. This book would be good for people who are not already recognizing the terrible injustice that patriarchy is still perpetrating on male/female relationships. I also found that it was interesting how she introduces this work and paints queer and non-heteronormative relationships with rose coloured imagery, where I’m sure some of these issues also our present in these relationships. I think it’s easy for Chollet as heterosexual author to use the ideology that the grass is always greener on the other side when it comes to different relationships and their dynamics.

In general, I found this book very interesting, but not useful tomyself or my relationship. I think this book is best used as an observation of how things are wrong and this is starting point to open readers eyes and start the conversation to make a change.

The audiobook narration provided by Alix Dunmore fit the source material in the voice of the author. Her friend accent at some point was harder to follow, but overall a lovely reading voice to listen to.

This is such a good and important read. I love when philosophy is written in an understandable and well-done way. I enjoyed all of the analysis of how patriarchy can actively harm relationships. Big fan of Mona Chollet's work.

I received a free Advanced Reading Copy via NetGalley in exchange for a complete and honest review.

This thought-provoking feminist analysis examines how patriarchal norms and power dynamics have warped heterosexual romantic relationships throughout history. In Reinventing Love, Chollet makes a compelling case that compulsory heterosexuality has long been shaped by misogyny, sexist double standards, and the systematic subjugation of women. Her wide-ranging research and interdisciplinary approach provide fascinating insights into the social construction of gender roles, emotional labor, and the policing of female sexuality across cultures. While dense at times, Chollet's impassioned and meticulously argued work is an eye-opening look at the insidious influence of the patriarchy on one of humanity's most fundamental experiences. A Must-read for anyone interested in dismantling oppressive romantic ideologies.

Not really what I was expecting, then again, I am not sure what I was expecting when I started listening to this book. I can see how this will be appealing to readers that don't have a lot of historical knowledge. Most of the work is quick to mention someone then quick to move on.
Great for someone that wants basic information without details and without meeting what seems to be the thesis of the work.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the audio ARC of this work in exchange for my honest review.

In this book, Chollet continues the conversation she started in her previous work, In Defense of Witches. She focuses on how a patriarchal society shapes our relationships with men, our self-perception, and the roles we take in broader society as we get conditioned to think and behave in certain ways. The book is clear and accessible, yet also academic and well-cited. If you enjoy reflecting on how societal structures influence us and are seeking a feminist perspective, you’ll appreciate this book.

However, there are some things to keep in mind. Given the complexity of the topic, Chollet provides context and nuance, but sometimes this means certain subjects aren't explored in great depth. This isn’t necessarily a drawback. Instead, it can serve as a starting point for introspection, conversations, and further research. But that also means that if you have read other essays or books about this topic, you’ll feel validated, but your mind will not be blown away by groundbreaking information.

Additionally, the book emphasizes "how the patriarchy sabotages heterosexual relations" more than it explores ways to reinvent love. I finished the book feeling just as discouraged about the role men play in our lives, but perhaps with a deeper understanding of why this continues to be the case. Maybe we can start to reinvent love by making this book required reading for the men in our lives who need a crash course in feminism and the patriarchal system they benefit from.

I am 2 for 2 with Mona Chollet’s books and look forward to reading more of her work. And I'll likely buy a physical copy of this book once it hits my local bookstore. There's a ton I would love to highlight and reference in the future.

The narration of this book was excellent, and I have no complaints. Thank you, NetGalley and Macmillan Audio, for providing a review copy of this audiobook ahead of its release on July 2nd.

This was an interesting read, reexamining love through the lens of the patriarchy. While I don’t always love this genre as it can often feel stale and textbook, I enjoyed Reinventing Love and it’s challenges of our modern definitions.

This was a great listen. Mona Chollet's book was well researched and there was so many people in this book that she referenced that I now was to read and look into because of the information that was given. Chollet's novel has a balance of personal stories of herself, others, and also historical experiences of many women to further her points to show that this is something that has been happening as well as giving ways to potentially change it for the future. This book is packed with information but never once when listening did I feel overwhelmed by the information being presented to me or feel like I am reading a textbooks. The information was delivered in a way that is can be easily digested by rendered without making them feel like they are drowning in facts and studying for a test like how some nonfiction books can make me feel. This was a great read and the narrator spoke with a clear voice that made it easy to listen to and her voice was also very pleasing to listen to. I think this was a great audio book and I highly recommend it, I often would go for walks when listening to it and not realize how far I had walked because I was so invested in the book.

This is a thoughtful and relevant exploration of the role patriarchy plays is creating modern ideas of hetero love. Spoiler: it's not in good ways. Bu the language is so beautiful and the voice so endearing that she makes it a pleasure to learn some uncomfortable truths.

I love this. I love the history and the way she lays it all out. I am married to one of the "good ones" and I feel the crushing weight of domestic and emotional duties nearly moment of the day. I feel like I have been scammed.
I don't know if I needed a book to validate all of that but it did. I love the narration as well.

This audiobook was made available for me to listen to and review by Mona Chollet, Macmillan Audio, and NetGalley.

I often prefer to listen to books read by the author, but I really liked the narrator, Alix Dunmore. She has a British accent but it is pretty light, and she had to pronounce a lot of French names, which to my uncultured American ears, she did with great skill and aplomb.

This is an English translation of a French language feminist book focusing on heterosexual relationships and the inherent inequality in such relationships under the current established patriarchal systems we live within. It is a dense text and a lot to take in, but very well researched, and she did have many points that I relayed to very strongly as a pretty straight woman, albeit one who is in a quite unusual relationship dynamic for a heterosexual relationship in that my husband does most of the work around the house and most of the cleaning. We both work, but my job is quite demanding compared to his, and also better compensated, but I am also disabled, placing him firmly in a caregiving role. In fact, I got one of the fabled good ones we have all heard so much about. But even with this being very very true, he and I are often unpacking our differing expectations of intimacy, emotional openness, etc., as well as reframing and giving perspective to each other when things occur while we are out and about or online. This book also gave voice to a lot of the issues I faced in past relationships that were perhaps a bit more traditional in terms of the power disparity.

The book contains some really interesting ideas - what if all couples lived separately? Personally I think I would most like to continue living with my husband but I would love for us to have more of our own personal space within our home. I also think it is just important to share ideas like this in order to normalize the fact that different arrangements will work best for different couples and as long as it works for them, it’s really not any of my business!

I also found it interesting to think about the ideas around making heterosexual relationships more like lesbian relationships - making one’s love of and appreciation for women/a specific woman bigger, more open, more about loving them as individuals rather than loving the idealized images of women that it seems like so many men are not able to move past. Shaved or unshaved, on your period or not, made up or not, wearing a dress or wearing sweats, long or short hair… these are all things that do not change the attractiveness of a person, really, as well as acknowledging that we all poop!

I would love to get Mona Chollet’s thoughts on the constant misogyny faced by Taylor Swift and all of her fans!

Of course the very dark topics of domestic violence, sexual assault, femicide, and harassment of women are covered at length, as these are the things that threaten the lives of so many women across the globe year after year.

Thank you to Mona Chollet, Macmillan Audio, and NetGalley for the opportunity to listen to and review this audiobook. All opinions and viewpoints expressed in this review are my own.