Jenny Finney Boylen, a self-proclaimed bookish, goofy (outwardly male) college professor, knew from an early age that she was a girl inside — a transgender path she did not follow until she reached her forties. Exactly how that journey unfolded, the changes encountered and the spaces left unfilled cannot help but make for fascinating reading.

Glimpses of this arise as the author describes catching up decades post-transition at her high school reunion.

“It was weird to be back in the big room after all these years with a martini and a vagina.”

Funny in places, heart-tugging in others, the author does not hold back, sharing her thoughts on her move to wholeness, and her leaning on what has held constant.

“The first half of my life was defined by yearnings: I wanted to be loved, and I wanted to be my actual self. I hoped that if the first came true, that the lack of the second would not hurt so much.”

Accompanied by the omnipresent love of her wife, Deedee, (both before and after transition), it’s hard for the reader not to feel slightly awed by the presence of this love at its most pure.

The author reflects on her womanhood as they raise their family of two, (Daddy becoming “Maddy”) — weight and newly experienced female body neurosis; the challenges of fitting in; voice insecurity; fear of violence; aging; shifting authority; love; and the losing/gaining of friends along the way.

“Who are we, now that we are old people, instead of young ones? Does love means something different to me — or to her — now that I am female?”

A fascinating blend of intimate memoir and remedial transgender education for those of us who need it, at the end of the day, this is an insightful, compassionate look at the foibles of personhood — and the ties that bind, rather than cleave us apart.

A great big thank you to #Netgalley, the author and the publisher for an ARC of this book. All thoughts presented are my own.

Jennifer Finney Boylan was an author known to be in name only, I had no idea what a rich life she lived. Relatable and humble, I found myself laughing out loud as well as being brokenhearted by her stories of what it means to be a woman, daughter, wife, and friend.

Okay, so I DNF’d at 41%. I really really wanted to enjoy this book but it was just so- boring, for lack of a better word. I wasn’t hooked enough to finish the book but I wish the author all the best.

Finished Reading

Pre-Read Notes:

I chose this one purely because of the photo on the cover. I had big boobs by the time I was 12, and I know the power of that withering look! I thought this would have some interesting things to say about life with breasts! *edit Too bad this book has nothing to do with the photo on the cover, or cleavage, for that matter.

Final Review

I was no good at any of it, no good at being a girl; on the other hand, I am not half bad at being a woman. —NORA EPHRON p5

Review and recommendations

I was honestly very surprised by the subjects covered in this book. I love memoirs of lbgtq+ people, but nothing about this book's title or cover suggests such a topic. And since those are the reasons I was compelled to read this one, I spent my entire read feeling unmoored. Also, I really don't like when authors name-drop. The fact Boylan was on Kaitlyn Jenner's show (as little more than a prop) doesn't place her in history, and it doesn't impress readers. Well, it doesn't impress me, at least. I think it's obnoxious. Also, I was really uncomfortable with how this author discusses weight and women's bodies. I don't think she *likes* her feminine figure. At least, it seems that way from these essays.

Besides that, this book is quite funny and clever. I recommend Cleavage to readers of memoir and lgbtq+ stories, as well as fans of coming of age and transformation stories.

Reading Notes

Favorite Essays:
1. "Fathers"
2. "Sons"
3. "Shadows"

A Few Words about the Essays:
1. "Both Sides Now" - Also the book's introduction, written by the author. It details the beginnings of her trans journey, all the way back to childhood.
2. "Fathers" - A touching piece about the author's unexpectedly tender relationship with her father.
3. "Food" - But I’d landed at the bottom of the chute in Girl-land to find myself a size 8, or perhaps a 10,... Eight what? you might ask. Or ten what? No one would tell me.... If you want a perfect example of exactly how fucked-up women are encouraged to be in this culture, may I present to you a snapshot of the idiotic and blissful expression upon my face the day I purchased that size 6 skirt. p23 So size 8 is "the bottom of Girl-land" huh? What Kind of fat-phobic, misogynistic, self-hating bullsh-t is this?
4. "Friends" - I’d worn a tight black dress for the occasion, fishnet stockings. All the way home, Lefty looked out the window at the shining Harvest Moon, humming softly to himself. Earlier, he’d had a knife sticking out of the side of his head. But he was okay now. p46
5. "Voice" - An excellent and surprising essay about...dummies?
6. "History" - n/a
7. "Lovers" - n/a
8. "The Unit" - Uhm...it's a story about the size of human penises.
9. "Sons" - A beautiful story about a girl and her dog, and so much more.
10. "Mothers" - Probably about what you'd expect.
11. "Shadows" - An essay about developing a woman's internal warning system.
12. "Rogues & Pixies" - It’s hard to think of many women who’ve been celebrated— loved, in fact—for their wicked, wicked ways. Mae West, maybe? Madonna? Catherine the Great? p158
13. "The Heisenberg Variations" An essay in twelve crots about being a trans creative.
14. "Liminality" - An essay about transition.
15. "Hearts & Brains" - An essay about how transitioning affects relationships.
16. "Daughters" - One day they are little blobs you hold against your breast. The next day they are driving away, leaving you forever. p209 Honestly, this essay was ruined for me by the repeated references to eating squid.
17. "Epilogue: Cleavage" - I agree with the author's friends who begged her not to call it this. It's such an ill-fitting title. Cleavage was only mentioned twice in the entire book. It's almost as ill-fitting as the cover. By the way, that photo on the cover and the women in it are only mentioned in passing, one time.

Rating: ⭐️⭐️.5 /5
Recommend? yes
Finished: Feb 11 '25
Format: accessible digital arc, NetGalley
Read this book if you like:
✏️ memoir
🌈 lgbtq+ stories
👩🏼‍🤝‍👩🏾 coming of age

Thank you to the author Jennifer Finney Boylan, publishers Celadon Books, and NetGalley for an advance accessible digital copy of CLEAVAGE. All views are mine..
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I really enjoyed how the author parsed their stories together to tell not just her experience being trans. It was an interesting opportunity to witness parts of her life and see the connections she drew. I think she allowed readers to see more of her story and how she was impacted by others in her life.

Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to read the ARC.

In her first memoir, She’s Not There(2003), Jennifer Finney Boylan takes us from childhood through the process of transitioning into a woman. And in the end, the reader is left with the same question that faces Jenny: What about her marriage?

In Cleavage, the author is in her 60s and looking back at her life, as a boy, man, husband, father, trans woman. The memories are so vivid and perfectly preserved in two genders. The disassociation of being a girl in a boy’s body somehow does not destroy or diminish those experiences, like attending an all-boys private high school, dating, marrying Deedee and having two children, living by the lake in Maine, and making bread. Boylan is surrounded by a supportive community and loving family and friends.

As a professor and public figure, there’s little sense of conflict, antagonism, or anti-trans sentiment. It made me wonder, was Boylan holding back negative moments? Or was this book’s intention a celebration of their life? But then, there’s this line that echoes through me, especially now: “I am practicing how not to get beaten within an inch of my life.”

Boylan writes about the societal pressures of being a woman, of being lesser than: the voice of uncertainty, the immature vocabulary, the salad instead of steak. It’s oddly disconcerting when she starts obsessing over weight. Boylan also covers trans conventions, voice lessons, passing as female, that in between space, and the privilege of being trans—the expensive surgeries and procedures available only to people above a certain tax bracket.

In the end, I felt like I was invited into Jenny’s world, though I also wanted to sit at the counter to watch the breadmaking and then bite into a slice.

Thanks to Celadon Books for the ARC.

I always find it hard to rate nonfiction that is at least partially memoir based. Don't let this iconic photo deceive you, this book is about the author's experiences (and others she knows) with gender and as a trans woman. I do think that this is slightly mismarketed from the cover to the title - they are provocative in a way that doesn't match the contents of the book. Other early reviews indicate this mismatch and while I understand if you put the book down because it isn't what you anticipated, it is a shame.

She goes back and forth describing times from her childhood and uses her "deadname" so be prepared for that. I honestly think trans readers should take care as there's descriptions like that (going back in time, could be sensitive for readers) an descriptions of trans folks who have died by suicide. These are important stories and conversations, just take care when reading. Jennifer Finney Boylan is a talented writer, I just struggled with some of the essays and the style that things were written in. There are times she jumps back and forth through time, between stories and that isn't my favorite way to consume personal narratives. If you're interested in hearing from someone who is more of a trans elder in the space, this is a worthwhile read. Especially as trans folks are under attack (even though they've always been here) these stories and thoughts are important to read and share to build empathy.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the ARC of this title.

Really well written memoir--so glad I got to read this! I enjoyed the writing and stories.

Thank you NetGalley and Jennifer Finney Boylan!

I was very misled on what this book is about based off of the cover. Without reading the synopsis (I know-totally my fault) I thought it was actually about the history of women and their bodies in Hollywood. I did not t realize that it was a memoir.

But the thing that really turned me off was all of the weight talk. If I’m being honest women have enough of an issue talking about and having our weight issues shoved down our throats. So to read a man’s perspective on how he never thought of it…not even once…why would he… but then began to perseverate on his weight and all of a sudden had issues and insecurities the second he tried to “become” a woman… it just left a bad taste in my mouth.

Thank you anyway to Netgalley, Celadon Books, and the author for the complimentary copy.

Rating memoirs is difficult to do. I think that because this was her second memoir and because I have not read the first, I was missing some important background. It's like delving into book two of the series. Sure there are helpful reminders supplied for important points, but I felt like I was missing a part of how we ended up here. So I guess what I'm saying is that I will read it?

I still enjoyed the memoir particularly because I think the whole point is exposure and to learn and grow. That happened. I did not like the nonlinear presentation. I felt click baited by the title and cover photo. Not sure it makes much sense particularly if you are a skimmer of epilogues.

I received an e-arc from Netgalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

I enjoyed this. I don’t rate memoirs, but I feel that Boylan is correct by stating “love will prevail”.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this opportunity to listen to an early copy of this book.
Excellent memoir!
I have read several books by this author and have enjoyed them all immensely.
I will shout it's praises from every outlet available to me. It's a book we all need to read, especially in today's troubled times.

Jennifer Finney Boylan bares her heart and soul in this memoir of her journey in the transgender realm. It is definitely eye opening and should be mandated for certain people who lack empathy and compassion for anyone who does not fit their preconceived notions of gender. Having seen first hand young second graders who clearly did not identify with their birth gender (and have since followed their hearts and become who they yearned to be) struggle with activities so many of us take for granted -using rest rooms, locker rooms, playground activities, I so appreciated Boylan’ s experiences and her unique perspectives.
At times I struggled to follow the storyline as a story seems to start which is then interrupted by a different story and even a third one. Eventually the storylines continued but I found the lack of immediate connections to be jarring at times. Mad Honey is one of my all time favorite books so I was flabbergasted to learn that Boylan was a co author but loved her story about how their relationship came about.
I am indebted to Jennifer Finney Boylan for increasing my knowledge base of the internal as well as the external hurdles so many face to feel at peace with themselves. I so wish the path was easier for all. Many many thanks to Jennifer Finney Boylan,
Celadon Books, and Net Galley for providing me with the opportunity to read an arc of this amazing four star read.

This is the first book I’ve read by Boylan and was drawn to the story from the tagline. I was very curious to get an insight of the space between men and women by a person who has walked in both shoes. And I will say that when those kinds of insights are in the chapters, I felt I was learning a lot about many things…things I didn’t realize how much I needed to know. But, I found the majority of the book to be personal “stories”. I’m not saying that they weren’t interesting, because I found Boylan to be a very talented writer. However, it wasn’t really what I was expecting, nor looking for from the book.

All in all, I liked the book and found it thought provoking. I’m not exactly sure what readers I would highly recommend it to. But I think if you give it a try, you will come away with knowledge that is worth pondering.

An absolutely incredible memoir from start to finish, Jenny Boylan is absolutely one of my new (to me) favorite authors and I will absolutely be going through her back catalog to read her other works after starting off with Cleavage. Throughout Cleavage, Jenny tells stories from her life pre- and post-transition and how the world was different when she presented as a man versus now as her true self. Her writing is just beautiful and immersive and her candor is eye-opening for anyone who has wondered about gender identity and what it means to transition.

I honestly cannot say enough good things about this book and what a ~time~ for this book to be released with the current administration rapidly stripping trans people of their rights. Please read this and recommend it to all your friends, too - the world is better off with Jenny and her writing in it.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and to Celadon Books for the advanced copy.

2.5 stars

Thanks to NetGalley and Celadon Books for access to this title. All opinions expressed are my own.
Like a few other reviewers, I was drawn to this memoir because the author had collaborated on Mad Honey with Jodi Picoult. Jennifer Finney Boylan first came to people's attention in 2003 with her first memoir, She's Not There, Cleavage is her fifth memoir-in-essays. There are topics on gender identity, parenthood, and the transgender experience. The essays that focus on Jennifer's marriage to her wife and their children were poignant and among my favourites. But there were other times in the book that I was bored. However, the author writes with a very friendly candour and that I appreciated.




Publication Date 04/02/25
Goodreads Review published 05/02/25
#Cleavage #NetGalley.

Happy Pub Day!!

Thank you NetGalley and Celadon for this ARC.

While I enjoyed this book, it was not quite what I was expecting based on the title. I was excepting a memoir comparing the male/female experiences, and it was not really set up that way. Each chapter had its topic and then there were a variety of stories within said topic. I would have preferred a more linear storytelling personally, though many stories I found to be deeply moving. Additionally, a lot of stories were centered around people other than the author which was not a bad thing per se, just wasn't expected. I enjoyed this author's POV especially about parenthood and relationships and would read more from this author.

I now know more about this body part than I ever did before, if you want to understand the power of cleavage, I encourage you to check this book out.

Thank you to NetGalley, Macmillan, and Macmillan audio for the ARC of this book!

I really enjoyed hearing about Boylan’s life and overall story. I had been unfamiliar with her work until I read this book and later discovered she had co-authored Mad Honey! I will say I wish I read her first memoir before this book as it is frequently referenced and seems to be a really interesting companion piece as she often talks about changes in her life, growth, etc. since that memoir.

One of the most poignant aspects of this book is the unfolding of her daughter coming out to Jennifer as trans. She is real, honest, and vulnerable in the telling of that journey and the realities of her daughter’s transition for her family/relationship to her.

Sometimes I have mixed feelings about non-linear memoir storytelling but really loved the way Boylan structured her storytelling here. The non-linear storytelling was often helpful to understand how had felt about her gender identity, etc. over the years.

Overall I would definitely recommend this book!

Cleavage: Men, Women, and the Space Between Us by Jennifer Finney Boylan, a myriad of thought-provoking questions are explored. The book delves into the impact of gender on our body image, relationships, and overall sense of self. Boylan also reflects on her personal evolution as a writer, activist, spouse, and parent in today's society, highlighting the enduring influence of love.