if you’ve read a lot of his stuff before, this ‘novel’ (really more of a novella) truly isn’t anything really new from Larocca - but rather a blend of things i’ve enjoyed from him before combined into one banger of a book. He has such a masterful way of packing a big punch into a short novel, not only in the horror elements, but in the way he makes you actually care and feel for his lead characters which elevates the story in a way that makes it memorable. He again touches on a lot of his usual themes - (homo)sexuality, religion, and grief.

I was a bit worried going in that being with a bigger publisher would mean he had to tone down some stuff, but this is just as depraved, gruesome, and sexual as i’ve come to expect from his work, bordering on ‘extreme horror’. Not for the faint of heart yall…

this book will NOT be for everyone, but if you’ve enjoyed things from him before this one comes highly recommended by me, and like I said is kind of a culmination of all the things i’ve come to love from him and is one of his best works.

The most lushly-written new novel, in horror or any genre, I’ve read this year—and the most despairing.

Soooooo good, This was my first book by Larocca and now I'll have to go explore his backlist. I'm normally not a short stories person, but this was fun.

By nighttime, Ashley becomes loathsome, but as it turns out, he's not too pleasant during the day either. Who wouln't be? Riddled with grief, guilt, and the inability to come to terms with the unknown circumstances surrounding his son's disappearance, Ashley finds purpose in providing premature burials in an obscure location to those who need a fresh outlook on life. Every aspect of the burial is detailed and ritualized by the rules Ashley developed from thin air, typed up, and printed out.

Due to the narrative's extreme brevity, I really hoped there would be a little more movement. Readers, instead, confront 2-3 story-ceptions throughout the main narrative about random people we don't need to care about. I also wish there was a more accessible way to read pages of DMs, especially if these DMs contain one of the story-ceptions needed to understand the message of the work.

The concept is quite interesting, but I think it was not as well executed as it could have been. Ashley isn't a dynamic character, and there's nothing I feel I gained or lost from his story.

I'd like to thank Blackstone Publishing and NetGalley for access to this e-ARC.

"But though humanity doesn't escape us when it's dark out, I've learned that human decency only exists when it's convenient."

Ashley Lutin has found an interesting way to deal with his grief after the death of his wife and the disappearance of his son. He has transitioned into helping others with their pain and desire to depart from life. With thoughtful planning and a detailed ritual, Ashley helps people by giving them a taste of exactly what they wanted and leaves them with a renewed purpose.  However, Ashley soon decides to change his methods, creating a permanent solution for the people he is supposed to be helping.  His upcoming appointment with a man named Jinx will test  Ashley's determination and put him face to face with the person who can answer his questions. 

At Dark, I Become Loathsome is a unique look into humanity, grief and pain.  For a shorter story, the pacing is more of a  slow burn with a known undercurrent of something going terribly wrong, eating away and corrupting Ashley.  I enjoyed how the story moved through Ashley in the present, going through the motions of his death experience along with memories of when he was with his wife and son up through his son's disappearance interspersed with Ashley's directions for the ritual.  As Ashley's narrative continues, the state of his mind deteriorates and yet he seems to see things clearly for the first time in a long time.  As Ashley intersects with Jinx, the tension rises and Ashley faces some difficult truths about himself.  
This book was received for free in return for an honest review.

Not LaRocca’s best, but certainly LaRocca’s very good. The guy buries people alive so they won’t want to die anymore. When they come out, they’re fixed. But what happens when the guy who buries people alive wants a new lease on life of his own? An awesome story, with a few mini-stories woven in (very disturbing, jarring and awesome). So much to like in this one, especially if you’re already familiar with LaRocca’s work. A few threads left me scratching my head, but otherwise, super epic.

I love eric larroca. I feel he is the new cluve barker and will do great things in his career. This is a very dark book. It made me sad in alot of ways.

At Dark, I Become Loathsome is a truly dark, disturbing, and captivating horror story from one of the most uncompromising voices in horror today, Eric LaRocca.

A single line of text, glowing in the darkness of the internet. Written by Ashley Lutin, who has often thought the same--and worse--in the years since his wife died and his young son disappeared. But the peace of the grave is not for him--it's for those he can help. Ashley has constructed a peculiar ritual for those whose desire to die is at war with their yearning to live a better life.

Struggling to overcome his own endless grief, one night Ashley finds connection with Jinx--a potential candidate for Ashley's next ritual--who spins a tale both revolting and fascinating. Thus begins a relationship that traps the two men in an ever-tightening spiral of painful revelations, where long-hidden secrets are dragged, kicking and screaming, into the light.

Only through pain can we find healing. Only through death can we find new life.

Eric LaRocca has the keen ability to craft novels that are both viscerally upsetting and terrifying while diving deeper into dark and complex characters. In At Dark, I Become Loathsome, the author leaves us on edge throughout the novel while masterfully creating an atmosphere that is haunting and engaging, drawing me unit a world of pain and healing in unexpected ways.

LaRocca's writing style is almost poetic in nature, adding a layer of depth to an already intricate story. The way the author crafts their sentences makes it difficult to put the book down once you have started. It's clear that LaRocca has a talent for telling horror stories that evoke emotion and leaves a lasting impact on those who read their work.

The author's innovative storytelling combined with the book's dark tone make for a wonderful addition the horror genre. LaRocca is a talent among horror authors with an uncompromising and no-holds-barred approach to telling horrifying stories. Like most of the author's stories, At Dark, I Become Loathsome is not for those looking for a fringe horror story with little trigger warnings, this is a love letter to those deep horror fans.

Eric LaRocca's At Dark, I Become Loathsome is a darkly upsetting novel that will leave us enthralled from beginning to end. The combination of complex characters, innovative storytelling, and viscerally upsetting narrative, this book is sure to appease those horror fans looking for something new to start 2025.

My favorite work by Larocca thus far (and I've read ALL of his books)! The characters and their mindsets have haunted me for weeks since reading this book, which I completed nearly in one sitting. Larocca will leave you breathless, wondering how this dark tale will end.

This author has the best titles around. I look forward to everything they publish and buy a copy for my home library. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced copy.

The ritual mentioned in this book really fascinated me.
Ashley is a self-hating queer man distraught at the loss of his wife and son.

There is some graphic content in here, but the author doesn't go too overboard at least for me.
I was not a big fan of the middle portion which was in a chat log format for no reason.
There is several stories within this story. I think it happened one times too many.

At some point, you have to say that a book is going nowhere. Gross for the sake of it and with no purpose. Very boring. DNF at 52%.

Probably the most dark and depressing book that LaRocca has written so far. This definitely explores grief, exploitation, and regret in a dark way. I thought the main character was interesting but the introduction of another character towards the end brought the book to a dark place that I was not in the right headspace to read about. I've read all of LaRocca's work up to this point and I'll be a loyal reader always but unfortunately this didn't hit the mark for me.

I tend to really enjoy Eric Larocca's books, he has a way of writing the most offputting things that still makes me want to read even when i'm deeply uncomfortable. My experience with this one was no different. It's short like a lot of their other works but packs so much feeling into those pages.

I really enjoyed the plot & the dark atmosphere they created. I do wish there were trigger warnings at the beginning as there's some animal death/cruelty that i wasn't prepared for, but I got an advanced copy so perhaps they will be added in before publishing.

If you like their past work or the splatterpunk genre in general I say this is a great addition to your reading list.

Ashley Lutin has suffered the death of his wife and the loss of his son at a store. To deal with his guilt and grief, he as altered his physical appearance to reflect the pain he feels inside. He spends time online, interacting with people who feel as if the world would be better off without them, offering them a ritual that attempts to use their desire to die to give them a chance at a rebirth and new life. He meets Jinx online and the two men exchange disturbing secrets before meeting so that Jinx can experience the ritual.

As with all LaRocca books, this transgressive book is unsettling and will create an increasing sense of unease in the reader. This book dives headfirst into grief, loss and self loathing. It's a stellar example of the ability of horror to evoke intense emotions. LaRocca's prose is beautiful even as it describes terrible things.

Thank you NetGalley and publisher for this book.

Oh wow!!! I did not see that plot twist coming!!! This was a first for me by this author but will not be my last! Such a good story!

This is my first book from this author so I wasn't sure what to expect. The summary sounded interesting but it ended up being much darker than I'm used to. Don't get me wrong, I was hooked— I needed to know if he found his son...and then...yeah. Not really for me, but you never know until you read it! This is a good story IF this is the kind of horror you like.

“𝑰𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒗𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒂 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖.”

A single line of text that so many people can relate to. For some, it's just a fleeting thought, but for others, it's much more.

Ashley Lutin is someone who has been forever changed by death after losing his wife to cancer and having his young son abducted. He has created a unique ritual for those who are straddling the bounds of the world of the living and the afterlife--he takes willing participants and temporarily buries them alive. This is the least disturbing thing about this book.

As more of Ashley's story unwinds, the reader can't help but wonder if this "path to understanding" that's he's created will ultimately destroy him in the process. Dark, disturbing, and captivating, this was a compelling story from one of the greats in horror. Thank you to NetGalley and Blackstone Publishing for the early copy. At the time this review was written, this title was set to publish January 28, 2025.

I should have known I was in for a ride when the opening quote of the book is from Poppy Z. Brite lol

I would've loved to have had a few trigger warnings at the beginning. I know content warnings are kind of argued about nowadays, but I would've appreciated knowing a little bit more about the book before diving in. I expected death, I expected horror aspects, of course -- but there was a little more to it than I anticipated.

All that vagueness said.... I enjoyed this. It was a fun ride, with lots of "loathsome" characteristics. I did sometimes want to roll my eyes at how hard the protagonist (and that's a loose term) would malign himself. But ultimately I enjoyed the story and its plot.

If you're a fan of the splatterpunk genre, you'll love this one. Don't miss it!

I will happily eat up any monstrosity Eric LaRocca creates. As someone who has read all of their work, this is one of his strongest pieces. He has a way of conjuring the unimaginable and turning it into pure, disgusting poetry. This book affected me strongly, especially as a new mother, leaving me in tears by the end. I’m very picky with my extreme horror, but this is the type of horror that is also pure literary fiction, akin to Poppy Z. Brite. I love how LaRocca implements their short story roots into this novel, with side stories serving the larger plot. This novel is a literary collage of unimaginable horror. Can’t wait for the next one, keep ‘em coming.