At Dark, I Become Loathsome is a truly dark, disturbing, and captivating horror story from one of the most uncompromising voices in horror today, Eric LaRocca.

A single line of text, glowing in the darkness of the internet. Written by Ashley Lutin, who has often thought the same--and worse--in the years since his wife died and his young son disappeared. But the peace of the grave is not for him--it's for those he can help. Ashley has constructed a peculiar ritual for those whose desire to die is at war with their yearning to live a better life.

Struggling to overcome his own endless grief, one night Ashley finds connection with Jinx--a potential candidate for Ashley's next ritual--who spins a tale both revolting and fascinating. Thus begins a relationship that traps the two men in an ever-tightening spiral of painful revelations, where long-hidden secrets are dragged, kicking and screaming, into the light.

Only through pain can we find healing. Only through death can we find new life.

Eric LaRocca has the keen ability to craft novels that are both viscerally upsetting and terrifying while diving deeper into dark and complex characters. In At Dark, I Become Loathsome, the author leaves us on edge throughout the novel while masterfully creating an atmosphere that is haunting and engaging, drawing me unit a world of pain and healing in unexpected ways.

LaRocca's writing style is almost poetic in nature, adding a layer of depth to an already intricate story. The way the author crafts their sentences makes it difficult to put the book down once you have started. It's clear that LaRocca has a talent for telling horror stories that evoke emotion and leaves a lasting impact on those who read their work.

The author's innovative storytelling combined with the book's dark tone make for a wonderful addition the horror genre. LaRocca is a talent among horror authors with an uncompromising and no-holds-barred approach to telling horrifying stories. Like most of the author's stories, At Dark, I Become Loathsome is not for those looking for a fringe horror story with little trigger warnings, this is a love letter to those deep horror fans.

Eric LaRocca's At Dark, I Become Loathsome is a darkly upsetting novel that will leave us enthralled from beginning to end. The combination of complex characters, innovative storytelling, and viscerally upsetting narrative, this book is sure to appease those horror fans looking for something new to start 2025.

My favorite work by Larocca thus far (and I've read ALL of his books)! The characters and their mindsets have haunted me for weeks since reading this book, which I completed nearly in one sitting. Larocca will leave you breathless, wondering how this dark tale will end.

This author has the best titles around. I look forward to everything they publish and buy a copy for my home library. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced copy.

The ritual mentioned in this book really fascinated me.
Ashley is a self-hating queer man distraught at the loss of his wife and son.

There is some graphic content in here, but the author doesn't go too overboard at least for me.
I was not a big fan of the middle portion which was in a chat log format for no reason.
There is several stories within this story. I think it happened one times too many.

At some point, you have to say that a book is going nowhere. Gross for the sake of it and with no purpose. Very boring. DNF at 52%.

Probably the most dark and depressing book that LaRocca has written so far. This definitely explores grief, exploitation, and regret in a dark way. I thought the main character was interesting but the introduction of another character towards the end brought the book to a dark place that I was not in the right headspace to read about. I've read all of LaRocca's work up to this point and I'll be a loyal reader always but unfortunately this didn't hit the mark for me.

I tend to really enjoy Eric Larocca's books, he has a way of writing the most offputting things that still makes me want to read even when i'm deeply uncomfortable. My experience with this one was no different. It's short like a lot of their other works but packs so much feeling into those pages.

I really enjoyed the plot & the dark atmosphere they created. I do wish there were trigger warnings at the beginning as there's some animal death/cruelty that i wasn't prepared for, but I got an advanced copy so perhaps they will be added in before publishing.

If you like their past work or the splatterpunk genre in general I say this is a great addition to your reading list.

Ashley Lutin has suffered the death of his wife and the loss of his son at a store. To deal with his guilt and grief, he as altered his physical appearance to reflect the pain he feels inside. He spends time online, interacting with people who feel as if the world would be better off without them, offering them a ritual that attempts to use their desire to die to give them a chance at a rebirth and new life. He meets Jinx online and the two men exchange disturbing secrets before meeting so that Jinx can experience the ritual.

As with all LaRocca books, this transgressive book is unsettling and will create an increasing sense of unease in the reader. This book dives headfirst into grief, loss and self loathing. It's a stellar example of the ability of horror to evoke intense emotions. LaRocca's prose is beautiful even as it describes terrible things.

Thank you NetGalley and publisher for this book.

Oh wow!!! I did not see that plot twist coming!!! This was a first for me by this author but will not be my last! Such a good story!

This is my first book from this author so I wasn't sure what to expect. The summary sounded interesting but it ended up being much darker than I'm used to. Don't get me wrong, I was hooked— I needed to know if he found his son...and then...yeah. Not really for me, but you never know until you read it! This is a good story IF this is the kind of horror you like.

“𝑰𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒗𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒂 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖.”

A single line of text that so many people can relate to. For some, it's just a fleeting thought, but for others, it's much more.

Ashley Lutin is someone who has been forever changed by death after losing his wife to cancer and having his young son abducted. He has created a unique ritual for those who are straddling the bounds of the world of the living and the afterlife--he takes willing participants and temporarily buries them alive. This is the least disturbing thing about this book.

As more of Ashley's story unwinds, the reader can't help but wonder if this "path to understanding" that's he's created will ultimately destroy him in the process. Dark, disturbing, and captivating, this was a compelling story from one of the greats in horror. Thank you to NetGalley and Blackstone Publishing for the early copy. At the time this review was written, this title was set to publish January 28, 2025.

I should have known I was in for a ride when the opening quote of the book is from Poppy Z. Brite lol

I would've loved to have had a few trigger warnings at the beginning. I know content warnings are kind of argued about nowadays, but I would've appreciated knowing a little bit more about the book before diving in. I expected death, I expected horror aspects, of course -- but there was a little more to it than I anticipated.

All that vagueness said.... I enjoyed this. It was a fun ride, with lots of "loathsome" characteristics. I did sometimes want to roll my eyes at how hard the protagonist (and that's a loose term) would malign himself. But ultimately I enjoyed the story and its plot.

If you're a fan of the splatterpunk genre, you'll love this one. Don't miss it!

I will happily eat up any monstrosity Eric LaRocca creates. As someone who has read all of their work, this is one of his strongest pieces. He has a way of conjuring the unimaginable and turning it into pure, disgusting poetry. This book affected me strongly, especially as a new mother, leaving me in tears by the end. I’m very picky with my extreme horror, but this is the type of horror that is also pure literary fiction, akin to Poppy Z. Brite. I love how LaRocca implements their short story roots into this novel, with side stories serving the larger plot. This novel is a literary collage of unimaginable horror. Can’t wait for the next one, keep ‘em coming.

What I wouldn't give to sit down with Eric Larocca and pick his brain...

Honestly his writing continues to get better and better as time goes on. I really ?enjoyed?, not quite sure my feelings because of how screwed up this was, but it was certainly a time. I will forever pickup anything that this man writes. I also love that (to my memory) everything is in first person (which is my preference) so that is also a major plus.

I normally enjoy other books from this author but the consistent sexual deviance in the book took over what was an interesting premise. Just not for me.

Gory, dark, and delightful. A recommended purchase for collections where horror and Larocca's previous titles are popular.

If Poppy Z. Brite and Edgar Allen Poe had a love child, Eric Larocca would fit the bill. At Dark, I Become Loathsome is a dark, moody, gravedigger's delight that floats through the mist between depression and death, with enough face piercings to sink a ship.
Ashley Lupin exists in a world of tragic loss. His wife succumbed to cancer. His eight year old son disappeared from a supermarket parking lot while dad searched for his keys.
Nowadays, Ashley's face, nose and ears are laden with metal piercings. His hideous appearance masks the torment in his soul.
Ashley's current occupation involves a ritual to help others "cross over" their depression and regain the will to live. But as the night makes our anti-hero a loathsome creature, the darkness is beginning to sink in, convoluting reality with insanity.
A new client named Jinx will radically change Ashley's occupation with hidden meanings and untold stories. Will Jinx be the answer to Lupin's loss? Or will he become the harbinger to a fate worse than death?
Larocca's work isn't for the squeamish. But fans will appreciate his bloody good splatterpunk styling.
This is my first foray into Larocca's Loathsome world. But it won't be the last.

Thank you NetGalley and Blackstone for sending an e-ARC my way to review.

Eric Larocca is eerily imaginative yet again in their new novel At Dark I Become Loathsome. This one is a gory, gut-wrenching, yet lyrical, exploration of grief. His concepts pull you in, but those profound moments sprinkled throughout get you to stay. This one is definitely a tough read at times, but if you're familiar with Larocca's work, this does not come as a surprise. Check triggers.

I downloaded this and could not stop reading it. What was intended to be "just checking the first few pages" turned out ignoring my responsibilities for an entire day. Our narrator Ashley is monstrous and he knows it. His vulnerability and nonchalance about his life and loss pull the reader in, at least for me. A big question this book asks is; what should we do with monstrous nature that lies within all of us? Eric Larocca doesn't give you an answer, they take you on a journey to answer that question for yourself.

I feel comfortable giving this one a 4/5. My only real reason being the lyrical prose. While it's one of my favorite aspects of the book, it was distracting at times. I found myself on the edge of my seat and feeling the urge to skim some (albeit beautiful) lines. I guess it was just a bit overdone for my taste. Don't let this deter you from picking it up if you can. If this sounds like your kind of book, it probably is.

At Dark I Become Loathsome is a punch to the gut wrapped in a blood-red bow.

The title is a line that Ashley Lutin repeats in his head since his wife died, his son disappeared, he began engaging in massive amounts of body modification and he began trying to help others who are torn between wanting to die and wanting to want to live, which he does by engaging with them in a ritual.

Then it turns. And he meets Jinx, with whom he has a connection of some kind. And nothing is the same.

Oh, y’all. I’ve been reading Larocca for a few years now and he’s getting better and better (honestly, I didn’t much like him at first, so glad I read on.). But this is so, so dark. Know that going in.

“I’m far more invested in misery, heartache and despair than in life itself or the actual act of death.” Well, Ashley, welcome to the right life.

This book is unrelentingly dark. If you're already a fan of Larocca, you are already expecting this.

It's even darker than his other stuff, if you can believe it.

Not quite as earth shattering as Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke, but easily my second favorite thing from him, and I've read just about all of his stuff.