I thought this book was a little choppy. First it starts off as an older divorced mom who starts a booty call situation with a younger musician who just got out of jail and refuses to commit to her. Ok. I mean what do you expect? This isn’t a fantasy novel. Then the book goes into some Yellow Wallpaper crazy part with the main characters going to different rooms. Yoga? Counseling? Is she crazy? Has she just lost her mind? But nope. Part three is all about her son and a tonsillectomy gone wrong.

I mean I get the basic gist of the book. Divorce. Lonely. Hot sex. Unrequited love. Craziness. Selfishness. Almost losing what is really important brings it all back together. But it just wasn’t cohesive enough for me. It was not a bad book - although the parts with the rooms was a bit strange to me.

Mostly I felt sorry for Ivy. And I really didn’t want to feel sorry for her.

Thank you to NetGalley for an advance copy of this book.

I've enjoyed Susan Minot in the past, but this outing felt like something of a slog. There was some beautiful, original writing, not unusual in the character study that this is, But someone with as much intelligence and empathy would not make some of the stupid choices that Ivy, our heroine, makes. As other early readers have noted, Ivy is a 52 year old newly divorced woman, living in a Greenwich Village flat, supporting herself and her 8 year old son by writing. She has a great reputation as a writer, is given assignments that result in paychecks during which she is working on another book to publish. When she becomes besotted with a love affair with a much younger man, she continues earning. But when he snaps his fingers, she capitulates and stresses if he doesn't pay her but mere attention. I just couldn't warm up to either her or her lover, in fact he's really something of a jerk. In fact, despite all their pluses, neither is not very interesting at all. And so page after page of descriptions of booty calls and child care simply wore me down. You can see how this will pan out long before it ends, 2 ½ stars rounded up because of those lovely phrases that cropped up now and then,

If there was ever a book that can be called a 'character study', this is it. Ivy's in the early 50s. She's divorced and has a middle-school aged son. She left Virginia to live in New York City. She's a writer. This book explored her meeting and pursing a sort of relationship with Ansel, a much younger man, who has been recently been released from prison.

Ivy's obsession centers on her lack of touch/desire for any man other than her ex for so long. Ansel almost treats her as an aside. He's using her body to fulfill his sexual needs, but otherwise keeps her at arms length. While physically, they match, there are other needs that Ivy has that will never be met.

This is a good slice of Ivy's life. Early 50s...I'm closer to that than to my 20s. It's something I almost fear, so reading about Ivy, who still has a vibrant life is somewhat encouraging.

Susan Minot is a fabulous writer and I will be seeking out her other books.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read and review this book.

Susan Minot’s novel, Monkeys, is one of my favorite books of all time. It made me emote — and the writing is just so good. I was so excited to see that she had a new book publishing soon.

DON’T BE A STRANGER is the story of Ivy, a 52-year-old divorced woman who moves from DC to NYC with her young son shortly after her marriage ends. She’s a writer who struggles being a mother with her newly single status. X is introduced to Ansel through mutual friends. Ansel, a singer who spent some time in prison (minor drug charge),is somewhat mysterious and Ivy becomes intrigued by him. Then they have sex and it’s all over for Ivy. She craves Ansel.

Ansel is very clear about what he wants — (sex). Ivy becomes obsessed and wants more. The writing is beautiful here but there are just so many times you can read about hot sex and disappointment with the same man. (Yes, @melli , I said it.). I will say that Susan Minot gets unrequited desire for more than sex in a way that is so on-point.

Susan Minot has written a beautiful look at a fifty year old divorcee’s exploration of self. The world needs more books on women in this stage of life. Despite not personally fitting the profile of an over-fifty mother of an elementary-age child, divorced and on her own once again, I was relieved to be offered the opportunity, through this book, to feel empathy for Ivy.

Ivy finds herself in an awakening love affair with an unlikely pairing - a significantly younger musician, who is not interested in commitment, or even any sort of dependability. This throws Ivy back into a sort of pre-marital self-exploration. Having already met many of society’s expectations for a young woman, she goes back to this young-woman-type experience, and tries it on without expectation. Feelings and desires arise, long embedded in her as appropriate and expected. She plays with whether her developing expectations for this man are learned or natural, and whether she’s capable of meeting him where he is.

All of the inner struggles she experiences feel honest, real, and in that way, messy. The reader is ultimately met with a fifty year old woman who is struggling with a new, perhaps truer, sense of self.

The last section of the book took a completely new format (the colored rooms, if you’ve read it), which lost me a little. I was, until that point, reading ravenously. I do understand the utility of it, as the format drives through time quickly, shows her growth without having to detail every step. But it did feel a little disappointing.

All in, lovely book about a subject that needs more attention. Thank you, NetGalley and Knopf, for the arc.

Don't Be A Stranger tells the story of 52 year old Ivy, a divorced mother with a 9 year old son. Ivy's friend introduces her to Ansel, an up and coming musician in his thirties, who was recently released from prison. Ivy's work as a writer and her role as a mother are impacted by her obsession with Ansel, who tells Ivy from the start he is not looking for a relationship. Chapter after chapter, the novel shows how Ivy adapts her life with the hope Ansel may return a text and agree to see her for a brief moment of intimacy. Don't Be a Stranger is a psychological thriller about a lost, lonely woman.

Don't Be a Stranger is a deeply moving book as we follow Ivy struggle, hurt, and try to make sense of life and all the curveballs thrown. Thoughtful and rich in description of feelings and the world Ivy inhabits, it is easy to be caught up in her life and see what she sees and feel what she is feeling. The author evokes brilliant images and the book is so easy to dive into. HIghly recommended. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher.

This was a weird one. It was very slow and dull, too sex obsessed in a creepy way, and felt like it was trying too hard, there was no plot so it was kind of pointless to me.

Thank you to NetGalley, the publishers, and especially the author for this ARC in exchange for my honest review of the book!!

I did not finish this book. I read about 35 percent but this book was too slow plot wise and too character driven for me. I liked that the main character was a woman at midlife exploring love and sex in something other than a traditional monogamous relationship but the pacing of this book just wasn’t for me. We need more protagonist woman in midlife so I’m happy to see this and this book will be exactly someone’s taste just not mine right now.

Will always recommend a book where the middle age FMC gets some loving. Especially if that loving delves into the darker psyche and are most basic instincts. Minot's writing is as sharp as it ever was.

Thank you to Knopf, Pantheon, Vintage, and Anchor | Knopf and NetGalley for providing an eARC for a honest review.

"Don't Be a Stranger" by Susan Minot is a captivating collection that delves into the complexities of human relationships with elegance and insight. Minot's prose is both lyrical and precise, making each story resonate deeply. It's a powerful and intimate exploration of the connections that define us.

Don't Be a Stranger by Susan Minot is a mesmerizing exploration of desire, loneliness, and the complicated nature of love at mid-life. Minot's prose is as captivating as ever, drawing you into Ivy Cooper's world where the lines between responsibility and obsession blur in the most intoxicating way. The relationship between Ivy and Ansel is both unsettling and irresistible, a magnetic pull that feels as dangerous as it is thrilling. Minot masterfully captures the intensity of Ivy’s longing and the way it fractures her life, creating a narrative that is as sensual as it is haunting. This isn’t just a story about an affair; it’s a deep dive into the hunger for connection and the lengths we’ll go to feel truly alive. If you’re in the mood for a novel that will sweep you off your feet and leave you contemplating the complexities of love and desire, Don't Be a Stranger is a must-read.

This book was very simple, and the humor was very dry. The main problem I had is there is no quotation marks in the dialogue. It really irks me when authors do this, and recently it seems A LOT of authors are using this lazy prose, very Sally Rooney-esque. For me personally, I don't get it. It ruins the flow and ease of reading a novel. Also, the May/December romance has been done to death. I don't understand what the point of this book was. If you like novels with more substance to them, then this book isn't for you.

3.5 Stars

This was an interesting character study of a woman in her early fifties with a grammar school-aged son, a divorcee living in New York City. She had not been with a man in years, since leaving her ex-husband- until she was set up with a brooding musician almost twenty years younger. This ignites an obsession with this man that accounts for a major struggle in the book. There are sudden, random meetups for sexual gratification that account for the meat of the relationship. Ivy's common sense is compromised as she juggles trying her best to be a good mom, maintaining her writing career, while wanting more of this mysterious and self-contained man.

I was riveted by Ivy's encounters with Ansel, for the fervent intensity of their carnal appetites, while Ivy struggled to draw out Ansel's feelings and perceptions. I grew impatient watching Ivy's tortured psyche dealing with this man as he kept her at a close tether physically, but distant from any measurable depth of human feeling. It was kind of like a circular argument without end, and it made me nervous and angry that this was drawing energy from attention to her son- her priority. There were intermittent passages of prose as she navigated this whirlwind of emotions, a trope which I do not appreciate in writing as I enjoy more of a literal approach. The book could have been edited down more as a lot of the relationship felt repetitive.

Thank you to the publisher Knopf for providing an advance reader copy via NetGalley.

Obsessive intimacy, or addiction, is sensitively tracked here by Minot who has a poetic turn of phrase and can sometimes force the reader to a standstill with the aptness or perfection of a line or observation. Her story dodges between the lover and the child, as the narrator treads her uncomfortable path to release. Both topics could be said to be over-indulged. Yet the book redeems itself with the honesty of Ivy’s struggle for freedom and the ultimate, lonely peace she finds. I admired this.

This was hard to follow in some parts. It was a beautifully written story, but the plot was a bit twisty and confusing. Because there are no quotation marks, it made it more confusing. I enjoyed it, though, even though I wouldn’t have picked it up myself. Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC!

Susan Minot!!!!!! I will read anything by Minot, who is undoubtedly a literary legend. Lust, 12 Monkeys, Evening, are some of the best books written. And this one doesn't disappoint. Her prose, as always, is perfect. Detailing the intimacies of romance + friendship. Here, though, Minot wrestles with aging in a way I don't think she has before, which gets me excited for this new path she's venturing. I can't wait to read whatever she does next.

Thanks to the publisher for the e-galley.

It's been a decade since I've had the pleasure of reading new work by Susan Minot and I was very excited to see "Don't Be a Stranger" showcased in Net Galley. I've been familiar with the wildly talented Minot family and their multifaceted artistic talents (and just read sister Eliza Minots "In the Orchard" fairly recently -- it's just been released in paperback).

Susan Minot is a visual artist and painter as well. Her writing demonstrates an eye for detail that shines through in her setting descriptions and characters. Her language -- the emotions and passions put forth -- are vivid and fiercely relatable.

After reading the synopsis of this book (right up my alley) I hit request: a woman in her early 50s enters into a casual but passionate and increasingly addictive relationship with a handsome and mysterious musician seventeen years her junior. He has a history of jail time, issues with "trust" and other wounded traits that only make him more attractive and coveted. A quest and a challenge. It's not an uncommon story but in the hands of Susan Minot and her engaging and alluring use of language, I was increasingly drawn in as a reader. There were depictions of unrequited love, passion, guilt, shame, and deep want that nearly felt as if Minot was reading my mind from various points of my own life. That's incredible writing.

Ivy Cooper, the main character, is managing work as a self-employed writer who has already written a well-received contemporary novel and has been navigating the logistics of a divorce, being a single mother to Nicky, while also keeping up with friendships and day to day life in NYC. Her 9 year old son, Nicky, is still establishing his feelings since the divorce--with a mom in NY and a father in Virginia--and establishing his own independence and pushing boundaries. Nicky is apt to push Ivy away and voice his dissatisfaction toward her one moment and then seek his "Mumma" for wrestling and reassurance in the next. "Never had kindness seemed so precious" - becomes a lesson over the course of this novel. At times Ivy is bewildered by the fact that she is a mother at all and sincerely doubts her abilities and skills.

"You should be sure, Nicky said. You're a mother." A small man in a boy's body.

There are quotes from Rilke, Lao Tzu, Emerson, Rumi and other brilliant writers and thinkers throughout the book. Ivy seeks solutions within a variety of poetically described "rooms" in the fascinating third part of the book - a hero's journey, a mother's journey, a woman's journey to find herself. Of the greatest significance in this journey are these thoughts:

"Why did you have to have the wits scared out of you to feel sharp, to be content with being alive?"

"She was not aware of when she fell asleep; we never are."

I really enjoyed "Don't Be a Stranger" - the title itself took on multiple meanings as I read through it. I highly recommend it to all who enjoy the depth and messiness of human relationships and what it takes to walk through life and find gratitude. Thank you #NetGalley and #PenguinRandomHouse for the opportunity to read and review this novel which is due for publication on 10.15.2024.

Susan Minor is a gifted writer and terrific artist. This book made me grateful for the small things in life (which are, indeed, never small after all).

I had a mixed experience with this novel. Initially, I found myself somewhat engaged, but as I reached the halfway point, my interest waned significantly. The pacing felt excessively slow, and the story seemed to lack direction, ultimately coming across as dull and monotonous.

The writing itself wasn’t bad; in fact, it had the potential to create a peaceful yet emotionally resonant narrative. However, the slow-moving plot combined with an overly detailed yet unexciting storyline caused the novel to drag on, diminishing my enthusiasm.

The main male love interest, despite being a central figure, came across as distant and underdeveloped. While this might have been a deliberate choice to highlight the protagonist’s misguided obsession, it ended up making their relationship uninteresting and unfulfilling.

The protagonist’s backstory, which could have added depth to the narrative, felt contrived and was frequently overshadowed by the mundane aspects of her daily life and her bland musician love interest.

This book might appeal to readers who appreciate slow-paced, quiet storytelling and a straightforward plot. However, for me, it became increasingly tempting to abandon the book after the first quarter. I ultimately skimmed the remainder, feeling that the essence of the plot and the overall vibe could have been conveyed more effectively in a shorter, more nuanced format.

Ivy is a writer, mom, and in the aftermath of a tense divorce when she meets Ansel Fleming. Sparks fly, and Ivy enters into a passionate, thrilling affair. Soon however, Ivy’s feelings grow stronger and deeper, and she wants more from this relationship. Ansel is a very attractive man, but is blunt in his assertion that he does not want that.
There follows a long, sporadic succession of encounters initiated by Ivy, that leave her sexually fulfilled, but feeling rejected by Ansel. She hesitates to verbalize her emotional needs, and feels like she is neglecting her son Nicky to obsess over Ansel. It takes years and counseling, plus a health crisis to finally shake Ivy loose from this unhealthy relationship.