I loved this book! I couldn't put it down. The author did an amazing job with the writing to keep me interested enough that I couldn't stop. I can't wait for more from this author to see what they come up with next. I highly recommend it!

Thank you Net Galley ARC

Note: Thank you to NetGalley, She Writes Press, and author Zelly Ruskin for the advanced reader copy of this book. What follows is my unbiased review of the book.

As an adoptee as well as being involved in adoption communities on the internet for over 30 years, the premise of this book was intriguing to me. What happens when an adoption counselor finds herself suffering through her own infertility issues? There's much more to this story than that, and much of it is good. There's also a degree of ignorance on the part of how being adopted can effect the people in the triad (birthparents-adoptee-adoptive parents). It came as no surprise to learn the author, Zelly Ruskin, is a former social worker and adoption consultant. She's been involved in adoption as an observer, not as a participant.

Billie Campbell is the adoption consultant in this story, set in Boston. She and her husband, Tyler, have been trying to start a family with no success. When Madison, a pregnant college student, and her boyfriend visit the agency Billie works for with the intention of placing their baby for adoption, Billie starts thinking about the possibility of adopting Madison's baby herself, despite all of the ethical issues this would raise.

Tyler is a successful lawyer, and he is about to become a partner at his law firm. Between the infertility issues and the anonymous messages he has begun receiving, he's a bit distracted from his work. He's also having doubts about whether he really does want to be a father.

Anne is a troubled woman who lives on the edge of poverty. Her father abused her, and when she was fourteen, she surrendered a child to adoption. There was no counseling following these events and she's been forced to try to make her way in life pretty much on her own. She's had a hard time keeping a job and is distanced from her mother who now lives in Arizona. When she gets a glimpse on television of the man she believes fathered the child she surrendered, her mental state deteriorates, and she begins stalking him.

The best part of Not Yours to Keep was how it depicted Anne's mental state due to her abuse and surrendering a child. My birthmother was told to "pretend the baby died" and forget about it, but who can forget they gave birth? The time Anne surrendered was a bit later than my mother's and I would have thought that by then there would have been better counseling options available. This is especially true as she shows signs almost immediately of not coping with the loss well. However, it's ignored by the two women who care for her and basically tell her to "get over it." They don't realize the depth to which that loss can be felt. Spotting the putative father on television sets off a chain of events as she becomes delusional. I found this to be very believable.

Billie and Tyler are supposed to be the couple readers are rooting for, but I had a hard time liking them. Their marriage is sorely lacking in communication as the two of them seem to be lacking communication skills. Billie's mother apparently took DES when she was pregnant with her, which is what her infertility issues are blamed on. I had friends growing up whose mother did that and they all had children, it was just a case of having to stay in bed for the bulk of the pregnancies. It seemed a little convoluted that after two miscarriages Billie is giving up on the idea of giving birth and thinks she is more deserving of a child than other people she counsels, although this attitude is present in many prospective adoptive parents I've encountered. Whether it be wealth or social status, they seem to think they are entitled to someone else's child.

I had trouble with Madison as well. She's an adoptee who is now pregnant and thinks her life was so great she needs to give up her child now. That's not what usually happens. Adoptees long for a biological connection and do often become pregnant out of wedlock. Back in the day, it would have been typical for them to surrender the child when societal pressures dictated it. Since the 1980s there has been less pressure to do this. I have a hard time believing that Madison would have willingly severed this connection to her one biological connection to the world.

The promotional blurb is that "Their lives become entangled when the client’s newborn is abducted, and Billie becomes a prime suspect." This didn't happen until nearly three-quarters of the way through Not Yours to Keep, and was really a short part of the story. Most of it was a slow burn leading up to this point. Billie was not really a suspect for long, despite all of her missteps in this adoption case.

The ending was a bit too "happily ever after" for me, but it wasn't a bad one. It gives the reader a hopeful note of how everything ends. I felt like the situation was a bit contrived and forced, but it works for the story and for people who need a happy ending. I had reservations about using adoption as a plot point, and the story can feel a bit melodramatic when it tries to paint the situation in the best light for all involved, never mind the impact on the potential child at the center of it all. No one once asks what is in her best interest, and that is the biggest problem I could see.

This was a really engaging book. Billie is an adoption coach who helps families with their child journeys and that is all Billie wants while he husband Tyler doesn’t seem as ready. Strange things keep happening to Tyler including finding a picture of a baby in his belongings but no idea who that baby is.

Loved this book and loved the plot. It was a great psychological thriller and the author did a great job at bouncing between characters as well as managing different timelines. This book touches on alot of triggers; including: infertility, mental health, sexual assault, adoption, and some twisted thoughts - but it’s nothing intense and plays into the storyline well.

I found the story hard to follow sometimes, but I just think the authors writing style is just slightly different than my preference in styles. All in all, I’d give this book a 4.5 and I would definitely read more from this author.

This book is a fast-paced, twisty thriller with multiple perspectives and timelines that keep you on the edge of your seat. It’s about Billie Campbell, an adoption specialist struggling with infertility, who becomes obsessed with adopting her pregnant client’s baby. Meanwhile, her husband Tyler is dealing with his own secrets and unsettling anonymous messages.

On the other side of town, Anne, who gave up her child years ago, is desperate to reconnect with her lost baby and the man she once loved. Everything unravels when the client’s baby is abducted, and Billie becomes a prime suspect. As Tyler uncovers shocking connections, Billie disappears, and the search for both her and the baby is on. This story dives into family, secrets, and the risks that come with longing and loss.

First of all: Billie and Tyler are insufferable. Two of the most non-communicating-est, avoidant, non-perceptive people in the world. The world could be on fire around the two of them and they'd still be caught up in whether or not they remembered to unplug the iron before they left for work because it felt like every time something crazy happened they were worried about the least important thing. Billie was very passive and dare I say a doormat. If I had a husband who rarely answered my phone calls and worked constantly and did a full 180 from wanting kids and making me feel like I only ever wanted kids by myself he would be my husband no longer. Instead, Billie is just like "awwww, he's so busy, poor thing." Huh?!

Anne was a complete nut, but she was also someone who was suffering due to untreated mental illness. And I would even venture to say that she was perhaps still experiencing trickle down effects of postpartum depression and PTSD from childhood SA. But Ruskin did not explore these themes in a way I felt was responsible or sympathetic. Instead it's crazy lady, bad, bad lady, scary.

Zelly Ruskin has some pretty disturbing commentary surrounding fat people/fat bodies/fatness. Every single person who is fat in this book (and it's more than a couple) is written about like they are circus freaks who lack self control and are also physically terrifying due to their fatness and big bodied-ness. That narrative got old VERY fast and is so 2004-coded it was shocking this came out in 2024.

SO many parts of this book felt aged simply because the commentary/general feelings have changed. Overall, Ruskin is not a bad author in terms of grammar and syntax; this was a fair debut. However, I don't think I'll be reading more from her because her perspective and opinions in this body of work are not aligned with mine.

3 ⭐️s

Thank you to She Writes Press and NetGalley for providing an ARC!

THANK YOU 🙏🏻 to senior publicist, Grace Fell for reaching out, asking me if I’d be keen to read this book and providing an e-ARC.

In her pitch, Grace said the following: ‘This fall, Zelly Ruskin uses her former experience as an adoption consultant to create a story full of courage, heart, and strength that explores adoption, fertility, and motherhood. Perfect for fans of Little Fires Everywhere and The Last Thing He Told Me by Laura Dave, NOT YOURS TO KEEP (She Writes Press, October 8) follows three individuals whose lives collide as they all balance lies, secrets, and desires. Perfect for Adoption Awareness Month (November) reading lists.’

I was intrigued and agreed so here are my thoughts! 👇🏻

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩



First and foremost, I’m not your mother, so check your trigger warnings!

Here’s some of what you can expect in Not Yours To Keep:

📌 palpable tension

📌 infertility

📌 secrets

📌 betrayal

📌 deception

📌 adoption

📌 abuse (child + domestic)

📌 guilt

📌 a search for the truth

📌 abduction

Not Yours To Keep by Zelly Ruskin is a psychological suspense novel filled with drama & gasp out loud moments. The opening was so gripping, I was immediately hooked. It was hard to fathom this was a debut because the characters, scenes and dialogue were so on point!

Told in multiple POV’s (Billie/Anne/Tyler), and looking at the past and present, a sinister story is woven and I have to admit that I was probably more invested in Billie & Tyler as characters however it was Anne’s POV’s that intrigue me the most.

At times you do have to suspend your disbelief as coincidences take over, but that didn’t affect my reading experience at all. There was a slow build up in the first half of the novel and then 💥BOOM💥 the pace really picked up and led to a satisfying conclusion.

Would I recommend this debut? I absolutely would. If you love sinister storylines, emotive reads with red-herrings that will have your head spinning – this would tick all those boxes!

All right, so this started out fine - while a young, married couple, Tyler and Billie, are struggling with infertility issues, Tyler begins receiving cryptic, weird messages from a former classmate who delivered a baby (possibly his) years ago.
Other implausible plot points started getting thrown in, things went off the rails, and I finally found myself wondering what the hell happened to this book. It just turned hammy and absurd. Oh well.
Thanks to #netgalley and #shewritespress for this #arc of #notyourstokeep in exchange for an honest review.

Once I started this book, I quite literally could not put it down. The mysteries that continue unraveling throughout, and the deepening connections between seemingly unrelated characters as it switches points of view, will keep you turning pages -- possibly all in one sitting. The twist at the very end brought my star rating up from a 3 to a 4. I wish I could read it again for the first time.

I thought this was a good suspenseful book and rated it 4 stars because although some parts were predictable, how the author laid it all out overall was still a good read. I really enjoyed having three different POVs in this book. Seeing it through the eyes of Anne, Billie, & Tyler kept it all at a very nice pace in this story throughout. Seeing how they all had trauma from their past and how it came forward as adults which made all three of their paths cross eventually. Billie is struggling with infertility issues in her personal life, while her career is working with birth mothers that give up their babies for adoption while she wants to be a mother herself. Her husband Tyler is trying to make partner at his firm but is getting sidetracked now that a blast from his past has come out the woodworks and he’s not entirely sure he wants to even be a father anymore. Anne had a terrible childhood because of her father who constantly haunts her thoughts & has a secret she’s been carrying around for years. I loved how the ending was realistic and not super corny and I think the author did a great job with wrapping it all up. Grateful for this complimentary copy for my honest review.

Unfortunately I didn’t enjoy this book as it just felt unrealistic and there was unnecessary chapters that could have been cut out and made the book shorter but flow better.

This book was good, however it felt like it was a bit fluffed and could have been shorter and no information would have been lost. The timeline is a bit wonky and hard to follow, and the multiple POVs can get slightly confusing.

However that being said, I did enjoy the book. Billie is struggling with fertility while her husband, Tyler, is struggling as well, but it’s more so whether he even wants kids or not… then Anne comes into the picture and everything is changed. Emotional and heartbreaking at times. How far is Billie willing to go in order to become a mother? What secrets is Tyler keeping that could come crashing down? And who is Anne? Who is she looking for and why?

I’d like to thank NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read this eARC. I’d like to thank the author, Zelly Ruskin, and the publisher She Writes Press. This is my honest review.

NOT YOURS TO KEEP was very different than your typical domestic thriller.

It was impossible not to sympathize with Billie due to her infertility. While there was some mystery involved this was much more about family dynamics and what some people will do to get what they so desperately want.

This story was very engaging and although the pace was slower than I'd prefer it came together well and has a satisfying conclusion..

We've all come across those Lifetime movies where a young mother gives up her child. This story follows a similar premise, but it takes things to a whole new level with unexpected twists. Initially, I thought I had it all figured out, but I was pleasantly surprised by how everything unfolded. The plot kept me engaged, and the resolution was both satisfying and unpredictable. I highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys a gripping psychological thriller.

Billie and Tyler have thriving careers and are seemingly happy. However, Billie can't have the one thing she wants the most: a child. As the couple suffers through miscarriage and infertility, a blast from the past worms their way into Tyler's life.

I sympathized with Billie's struggle of being infertile while working as an adoption specialist.

Anne had a troubled childhood and is haunted by events that occurred then. Although she was initially unlikeable, my heart broke for her.

"Not Yours To Keep" was an okay read. It was slow in the beginning but engaging enough nonetheless. It tackled some dark subjects, but all were handled well.

Thanks to NetGalley and She Writes Press for the ARC.

Emotional and drama filled. It focuses on women's issues of fertility, adoption and the length we will strive for. There is a little bit of mystery but more family dynamics. I feel it is a interesting, heartfelt story and is a gem of a read in women's fiction.

This thriller is a roller coaster of emotions, The short chapters made this book a page turner and a quick read although it is very slow burn and majority of the twists and turns happen around the last half of the book but the suspense was there all along and it made me want to find out the truth as soon as possible. The ending though was shocking and satisfying, I didn’t see it coming.

This is a story about though topics such as grief and loss, infertility and adoption, it also talks about motherhood and its struggles. Billie wants a baby, her husband isn’t so sure and is keeping secrets, the tension is creating problems in their relationship, add to that a woman who comes into their lives and creates more drama than you can imagine… The perfect mix for a very messy story and I absolutely loved that.

𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 :
• psychological thriller
• domestic thriller
• family & friends drama
• jealousy & betrayal

Thank you Zelly Ruskin, She Writes Press & NetGalley for an e-ARC copy.

#NotYoursToKeep #NetGalley

Not Yours to Keep by Zelly Ruskin.
This psychological thriller was told in tyler, billie and anne's POVs. This was such a fast paced read. I could not put it down.
This book has family drama, thriller and mystery.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the Advance Readers Copy.

Not Yours To Keep by Zelly Ruskin is a book I have tried to understand but I feel completely lost in this story. I believe there are three different threads that may or may not be tied together. It took me weeks to get to 50% because the book has really dragged. I finally decided to DNF Not Yours To Keep after the story jumped from one couple to a female without any warning the change was happening and kind of leaving mid plot point. This isn’t the first time holes were made by the author in the story that it has become impossible to follow.

3.25. I enjoyed this book, although if you are looking for a thriller with twists you will not find it here. This book was a fast and enjoyable read. My only negative thoughts with this book are 1. I believe that the characters emotions during high stake moments were not transmitted the best. Some of the inner dialogue from the characters seemed very underwhelming for the situations. And 2. The book description says "Their lives become entangled when the client’s newborn is abducted, and Billie becomes a prime suspect. Amid the chaos unleashed by the abduction, Tyler uncovers a link between the person tormenting him and the abduction—but now Billie has disappeared too. The race to find both her and the baby is on; but will they find them before it’s too late?". Unfortunately these events (like the abduction) only really happen after the 85% mark, so do not go into this book thinking that will be the main plot. Overall I enjoyed this book.

Thank you netgalley, the publisher, and Zelly Ruskin for giving me the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review!