Member Reviews
This is a book to be read time and again when you are in the depths of grief. It runs a close second to C.S. Lewis’s marvellous book on grief, although it isn’t religious. Full of inspirational insights, gentle guidance and exercises to help along the path, it needs to be read closely and studied.
I especially liked the idea of reframing ‘triggers,’ for example, places that remind you of bad memories. Even a psychologist didn’t suggest this, and he includes very helpful exercises to help you reframe regretful incidents or memories.
I am going to read this again slowly, and try the exercises again.
I received this free ebook from NetGalley in return for an honest review.
To begin my review, I'd like to share a few facts:
I'm an avid admirer of David Kessler.
I serve as an End-of-Life Doula.
I volunteer with hospice.
These roles demand a comprehensive set of skills, or tools, that are essential for assisting families at various stages of grief. These tools help navigate anticipatory grief and the lifelong journey of loss (echoing David's words: "How long is the person who died going to be dead? If they're going to be dead for a long time, then you're going to grieve for a long time."). This workbook is filled with exercises designed to help us grieve with more love than pain, as suffering is not mandatory.
I frequently revisit the chapter on reframing cues. I consider this exercise to be invaluable, as it has the potential to alter our perception of the triggers that lead to suffering. The exercises on 'What Ifs' and 'Even Ifs' are equally transformative. The inclusion of this workbook in my doula toolkit, as well as sharing it with family and friends who would benefit from David's wisdom in navigating their grief, is of immense value.
Having received a complimentary eARC from the publisher and NetGalley, I wholeheartedly endorse this workbook to anyone feeling trapped in grief and seeking ways to mourn with love rather than pain.
Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief Workbook, is an exceptional workbook that provides applicable tools in walking through grief. In David Kessler's book of the same title, this duo can be used in showing the reader how it is possible to keep living while walking through a tragedy and dealing with grief. The workbook could stand alone as a tool to process your grief and feelings, as there are many exercises and encouragement throughout the book geared towards the healing phase of grief. The encouragement from Kessler can help guide the reader back to sense of "finding meaning" in their grief and can direct you towards living life again. The pain of grief may endure but it is necessary to recognize that LOVE can be the conqueror in the space of pain. I personally enjoyed working through the many exercises found within each chapter. A favorite quote from David Kessler, "The most beautiful flower grows out of the mud. Our worst moments can be the seeds of our meaning. They have an amazing power to transform us."
Thank you to NetGalley and PESI Publishing for the advanced review copy of this amazing book! All opinions are my own.
In 2012 I lost four people that were very close to me, one of whom was my father. The overall loss was staggering, and the loss of my father ended up breaking me. It has been 12 years of hard work and putting myself back together - and learning a lot about grief. To me this is wild, because as an undergrad and grad student, I studied death and dying.
I collected so many tools for grief and grieving through those 12 years - and I am still going, because grief is a process, not something you will "get over." This workbook is honestly one of the best resources I've found, because it digs deep and helps you do the ACTUAL work - it doesn't include any of the weird cotton candy (a lot of fluff, tastes sweet, but ultimately melts away to no substance) platitudes that well-meaning-but-not-understanding people dole out without a second thought. Kessler walks you through exercises that can gradually clarify your grief story by attempting to alleviate pain, shame, and guilt through really examining your experience and finding ways to move toward making meaning and acceptance through resilience you weren't aware of.
This workbook pairs with Kessler's book of the same name, but it stands on its own perfectly. I was 'sent' to a grief group during the worst time of my grieving, and unbeknownst to me, it was religion-based...I mention this because this workbook has ZERO inclination toward any belief system at all; it focuses on you and your grief experience. Any 'higher power' you require will be something you need to provide.
Overall, this is a wonderful resource for the newly grieving and the person who has been grieving for a while - as I mentioned, my losses have been years ago, and I still found valuable lessons within this workbook. Of the absolute plethora of books available, this is definitely one of the top that I would recommend.
I really enjoyed the care and compassion shown in the creation of this workbook. It was interactive and thought provoking. It had many activities to help with processing hard emotions relating to grief. I would recommend this to anyone who is having trouble move past their feelings of grief.
David Kessler has worked in the field of grief and loss for many years, both in his own life and helping others in theirs, giving him the experience to offer this workbook on how to find meaning in loss.
Why "finding meaning"? David explains well in the book the part that finding meaning plays in the process of healing from grief, he calls it the sixth step of grief. That it is not necessarily about understanding, but making sense of what has happened, restoring hope and power to you. And this book is a valuable companion on that path.
This book is often phrased in the loss of a loved one, but seems applicable to the broad spectrum of loss, not just death. I found many of the exercises useful for myself and I can see how they could be used by others and in other situations for great benefit. They help you to gently wade into the pool of grief, not throwing you in the deep end, so you can work through and grow through it. It leads up to more challenging reflections, leading to growth around what has happened.
And be assured the book is not just worksheets, there is plenty of insightful guidance and explanation around grief and why these exercises are suggested and may be useful. The language is kind and compassionate throughout. This book is a supportive tool for anyone navigating their own journey through loss.
I was reading “Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief” by David Kessler when I discovered this workbook to accompany it. The workbook is a practical way to not just read but actively learn from Kessler’s insights about finding meaning in the midst of pain. Both books are aimed at people relatively near in time to the death of their loved one (but not immediately after) or who are still in the midst of intense grief (including guilt, anger, and/or hopelessness) regardless of how long it has been since the death. This is because it is precisely by finding meaning that we come to need Kessler’s books a little less. If you have begun to find meaning, this book still offers useful tools, because grief doesn’t end. It will also help you be more compassionate to others who are grieving and better prepared when encountering the pain of grief in the future, since each death impacts us differently.
Kessler does an incredible job of normalizing all of the thoughts and feelings people might think are abnormal or unique. For example, he addresses feeling guilty about living when your loved one has died, obsessing about what you could have done to prevent your loved one’s death, and how hard it can be to interact with others after the death of a loved one. With examples of how he has helped others break through profound grief and exercises to help the reader begin that same process, Kessler shows it is possible to keep living while grieving. If you feel like you will never be happy or want to live again after the death of your loved one, please read this book and actually do the exercises. To read it is encouraging; to engage with it just might bring you back to life. The pain doesn’t go away, but Kessler makes a strong case it is possible for love to eventually take up more space than the pain.
One thing to know is it is important to read “Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief,” before or along with the workbook, because Kessler assumes the reader is familiar with the book on which the workbook is based. The workbook could stand alone on its own to an extent but is much more valuable as a complement to the book. If you read the workbook in a digital format or borrowed copy, be sure to have a notebook available to write out answers to the questions, because merely thinking about them won’t be as beneficial.
Thank you to PESI Publishing (Bridge City Books) and NetGalley for the privilege of reading a DRC of this book. All opinions are my own.
I am experiencing grief at the moment but like everyone else who is alive, I have experienced it and will experience it again many times.
This book is for those times - well-presented, informative, insightful and has great exercises and tips to help with your grief.
I plan on spending more time with this workbook later, but I already feel like I got a lot out of it. Kessler starts by talking about expectations, and how everyone has different expectations on how individuals should experience grief. Unfortunately, people will let other people know that they are experiencing grief "wrong," making a bad situation so much worse.
There are a lot of exercises in this, leading up to the acceptance stage of grief and then on to the future. The way the exercises are designed, I think I could do them multiple times to dig deeper into some of my feelings. Grief is an ongoing process, and it is taking me a long time.
Thanks to NetGalley for letting me read this.
Let me start by saying I am a big fan of David Kessler's work both as a therapist and a human. His books work on both levels as well; a tool you can use with your therapist or on your own. Finding Meaning is his sixth stage of grief, basically how you can let go of the worst parts of grief and live after loss. What did this death teach you? Are you stronger than you thought? More compassionate? What about this death is holding you back? Your guilt? A magical thought or unwaranted sense of responsibility? This book.will take you slowly and gently through exercises to help you heal after loss. The workbook is thorough. It would help with healing from death or even the break up of a long relationship. A must read!