I am a mom of four and was just amazed at this book from start to finish! I loved the different perspectives it brings to the table! It was such a great book.

Overall, an entertaining and thoughtful read, but I feel like it could've benefitted from a more analytical approach at certain points. The author's degree is in poetry, and when she starts discussing scientific studies, it certainly shows. As much as I enjoyed this book, I felt that Reddy's arguments would've been a lot more compelling if she was willing to look a little more at the science behind the studies she was debunking instead going straight to ad hominem arguments against the people who ran the studies. For example, at one point, Reddy brings up a theory, and then goes "but the person who created this was a Nazi, so we can ignore their research altogether" and never discusses it again. Taking a bit more time to discuss why the studies were flawed and poorly constructed in the first place would've been useful.

That being said, I still enjoyed reading this. Reddy makes some great points about the underlying issues with attachment theory, and the parts of the book where she discusses her own experiences with motherhood were particularly compelling and intriguing. I think that this book doesn't quite work as a comprehensive takedown of attachment theory, but it does function well as one woman exploring her particular thoughts and feelings on the concept.

I approached reading The Good Mother Myth: Unlearning Our Bad Ideas About How to Be a Good Mom with trepidation -- I have chosen not to become a mother and wondered whether I would relate to this book.

I am so thankful that my curiosity overruled caution because what I learned from this book is that despite not being a parent, I have still absorbed so many of the ideas and theories about what being a "good mother" means that Nancy Reddy systematically dismantles. Reddy problematizes the study design of psychological experiments from Harlow's cloth and wire monkey experiments and Bowlby's and Ainsworth's work on attachment theory while interweaving stories from her own life about the impact of those studies on the culture that surrounds motherhood in the United States.

The message that comes through loud and clear in this book is that unquestioning devotion to the idea of a primary caregiver (most often a mother) who has to figure out motherhood with limited support while making it all look easy causes harm to all of us because it keeps us separate from one another instead of supporting each other in community. I think this is an important message for us all to hear.

I am a huge fan of Nancy Reddy's poems, and I also loved this book. It's an excellent combination of reporting, research, and personal experience. The book is cogent and eloquent. And a much needed corrective to so many of our prevailing narratives about motherhood.

The Good Mother Myth offers a deep dive into attachment theory and the nuances of mothering, but it may not be the most accessible read for new mothers. While the book offers valuable insights backed by science, it’s more likely to resonate with seasoned mothers who have a bit more experience under their belts.

As a mother of three (ages 9, 5, and 3), I found much to appreciate in the book’s breakdown of Bowlby’s attachment theory. His research, while groundbreaking, is also flawed in its biases, and it’s refreshing to see those ideas challenged and reassessed. The science behind attachment and infant care is undeniably important, but the book occasionally delves so deeply into the research that it risks alienating those not as familiar with the language of psychology and developmental science. For a new mom, these dense sections might feel overwhelming, rather than illuminating.

One of the aspects of the book that I found concerning, is the challenging breastfeeding experience. While breastfeeding is undoubtedly a personal journey, the book’s discussion of it occasionally feels fraught with failure or hardship, questioning the book’s tone, which can unintentionally add stress. It’s important to acknowledge that every mother’s breastfeeding journey is different, and while the book does offer valuable insights, it might discourage some from even attempting breastfeeding due to the implications of it’s extreme difficulty.

Despite these concerns, there are many beautiful, affirming moments. The book’s reminder that motherhood is about connection, learning from mistakes, and repairing those mistakes with love is one that will resonate with moms of all stages. The sentiment that love carries us through—through the struggles and the triumphs—is a universal truth that shines throughout the pages.

In conclusion, while The Good Mother Myth offers valuable scientific insights and challenges traditional parenting notions, its depth and sometimes daunting language may make it more suitable for experienced mothers rather than new ones. The scientific focus can feel overwhelming, but its ultimate message of love and connection is a reassuring balm for any mother navigating the journey of raising children.

The Good Mother Myth was a 5 star read for me and I have recommended it to multiple people already. Adding to my shelf of must-discuss-with-friends books.

Reading this book brought me back to the time of when I had my first baby. Of course I read Dr. Spock, but within this book there were many other doctors and writers that Ms. Reddy refers to. I can remember the days when as much as I wanted a child I felt I couldn’t do anything right.

As you read on Ms Reddy even compares motherhood with the impending birth of an orangutan that was being born. The way the mother orangutan is with her baby the loving care she takes of her baby, while Ms. Reddy struggles trying to figure out how to keep up with her studies and take care of her child.

I’d recommend this book to anyone who is thinking of having a child while they continue to have a life or anyone who is already pregnant or have given birth. Reading the different styles of child rearing from these various doctors and their spouses was interesting. There was so much to take in.

Thank you NetGalley and Ms. Reddy for an interesting read.

Thank you St. Martin's Press and NetGalley for the ARC!

This book was stunning. As a mom of a toddler, this one hits me so hard where I am in my life. I love the personal narratives blended in with the historical research of motherhood. I think every man needs to read this to just get a taste of what motherhood is like.

Thank you again for the ARC!

Excellent exploration of the constant need to feel you are a wonderful mom. My son is 17.5 and I still think about am I a good enough mom for him! I'm so glad a book like this now exists. Well-written and thought out. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

Though I like the IDEA of this book, I was greatly disappointed in it.
The narrative is jumbled, disjointed, and tedious.
And i was really turned off by the abortion rant in a book that's supposed to be about motherhood.

As I am embarking on my journey to becoming a parent of two, this was an invaluable read. A perfect mix of personal memoir with a well-researched look into studies on the subject of motherhood, this book provided compassion, reassurance, and scientific evidence on the outdated ways of thinking on which American society has been operating. She delves into the various subjective studies performed in order to study the role a mother plays in a baby's life, most of which were done by men who spent little to no time with their own children. Many of these theories have stuck around, still plaguing the minds of mothers today with misguided and inaccurate ideas of what motherhood should look like. The needs, desires, and even basic health of mothers are often not made a priority or even acknowledged. Reddy pokes necessary holes in the conclusions that are drawn in regards to what babies need in order to develop into healthy and well-adjusted adults.

Reading about the author's own struggles and feelings of inadequacy painted an evocative picture of how prevalent and problematic the good mother myth has become in American culture. Each chapter was incredibly informative and readable, providing valuable insight into how hard mothers are on themselves and the joy they are missing out on because of it.

So many of Reddy's struggles were things that I grappled with my firstborn including the challenges of breastfeeding and pumping, not feeling bonded or maternal towards my child, and the feelings of immense guilt when desiring to return to the workplace instead of caring for my baby full time.

I had to stop reading when the author began a rant about abortion. This book will be of little help to the new mom who is overwhelmed by the myth of motherhood and the reality of it.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher St. Martin Press for an advance reader’s copy in exchange for a honest review.

What is a good mother? Is there such a thing as the ideal mother or is it just a myth? Nancy Reddy sets out to tackle these questions among others within society at large and includes her personal experience as she embarked on motherhood. As an achiever, Reddy believed motherhood was something to achieve and accomplish. True, the image of a sweet baby that is quiet, barely cries, and easily soothed is a dream for some mothers; however, in actuality babies have needs just as the mother and both needs are important. Reddy’s thoughtful, poignant book is a call for everyone to reconsider the outdated myth of the good mother in today’s society.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC!

I usually don’t get that into memoir but this book compelled me with the addition of studies and criticism. I found this story moving and deeply personal and as someone considering whether to have kids and how to potentially be a good mother it provided some comfort to know that my anxieties are not abnormal.

What a life-changing read! As a mother who struggles with anxiety and guilt, this can be profound. I am so grateful to have read this and able to apply some of these things in my life!

While The Good Mother Myth is not exactly what I expected, this was a surprisingly well put together read for mothers in any stage of life but definitely for newer mothers who have ever questioned if they were a good enough mother.

First and foremost, I must say, without reading this, if you’ve ever asked yourself that question, know that you are already a better mother than you give yourself credit for just for asking alone.

This was more of a memoir of one woman’s journey of motherhood mixed in with some social criticism against all mothers alike along with some legitimate studies which I found to be interesting. Worth the read if you care to pick up books for expecting or new mothers I think. Motherhood is an experience in its own and also trial and error of what works for you and your family and she highlights it well in this book.

While nothing is shocking or compelling about The Good Mother Myth, it is a good read for any mother who has ever questioned whether she's doing a decent job of it.

Blending historical analysis, cultural criticism, and personal memoir, The Good Mother Myth reveals the flaws in our contemporary understanding of motherhood, offering a blend of humor, insight, and emotional depth that will make you laugh, cry, and perhaps scream all at once.