This was one of the best ARCs I've read so far this year.  I enjoyed the way this book was crafted, it started out with her retelling the events that she remembered in different stages of her life from her past up until her twenties. The letters included in the book make the story that much more realistic and closer to the characters.

Kai goes through her life trying to overcome her childhood trauma to marry Josh Tyler, a boy she has been in love with her whole life. Kai and her family spend every holiday and vacation with the Tyler family.  Both of their families struggle with alcoholism, depression and abuse. Kai enters adulthood realizing that some of those family patterns have snuck their way into her life.  She realizes she can't always save those she loves and now has to make choices to save herself and rediscover the faith she always had within her. 

I wish she would have accepted in the end but I understand that the point was she was now making decisions for herself and not based off of the needs and wants of those around her. I definitely recommend picking up this book.  

Thank you to NetGalley, Books Forward, Buckberg Mountain Books and Holly C. LaBarbera for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

All I Know - Holly LaBarbera

Gosh, I could not put this one down! I'm not 100% sure which genre this falls into, it definitely has some YA vibes, but could easily be in the Women's Fiction category too. Either way, I loved it.

All I Know follows FMC Kai as she grows up, starting with her childhood memories of enjoying time with family friends, the Tylers, with her twin brother and parents. In the essence of "The Summer I Turned Pretty" Kai falls in love with the eldest Tyler, Josh, and dreams of him one day seeing her as more of a peer and love interest rather than a kid-sister or younger cousin. Both Josh and Kai experience trauma growing up, related to their parents' addictions and broken marriages, as well as the loss and grief. Despite the families being less connected over time, Josh and Kai always seemed to find their way back to each other and stay in touch throughout their lives, in many moments through letters. Kai has been warned since she was little that she will get hurt by Josh one day, that they are not the love match she so desperately wants them to be, but Kai is not one to give up and their unusual relationship continues well into adulthood, changing over time.

This book has so much going for it. There's the coming of age YA love story, the emotions of childhood and young adult trauma, reflections on addiction and mental health, and a female character who is independent, strong and determined to make her dreams come true, even if sometimes blinded by love. The growth Kai makes through the story is so intriguing to watch, and the author did such a great job describing both the characters and the settings that I felt like I was watching someone I knew grow up. This book was filled with emotional moments which I was entirely invested in, and the ending was a hard one to accept, as any love story that comes with an ending can be, but had just the right amount of closure.

Thanks so much to @booksforwardpr, netgalley and the author for sharing this lovely book with me. Go get a copy!

All I Know is a story of overcoming your past, wading through trauma and finding yourself. It follows Kai throughout her life as she learns how to confront her fears, cope with loss, find her passion and live truly for herself. Holly LaBarbera has weaved a raw and complex emotional story that at its core is a journey of self discovery and acceptance.

Please be kind to yourself and check TW before reading. Heavy themes of alcohol & substance abuse & addiction, mental health struggles, death of an immediate family member, parental abuse, family planning, depression, anxiety and September 11th.

Thank you Books Forward & Buckberg Mountain Books for the gifted copy!

aBarbera is a psychotherapist and professor, and this is her first published novel about growing up and overcoming trauma. It was a thoughtful book, which I appreciated since I’m very interested in psychology, although I did struggle with some aspects of it.


Kai is a young girl when the story begins; she describes herself as fearless, particularly compared to her sensitive and artistic twin brother Kade. Her family spends every vacation with the Tylers, and Kai is best friends with their daughter and obsessively in love with the oldest son Josh. Her life starts out idyllic but soon the cracks begin to show. Kai’s father drinks too much and is disappointed in his son, and Mr. Tyler is abusive to his wife and children. As the kids get older, Kade becomes depressed, and Kai struggles to take care of her mother, her brother and their friends.

LaBarbera tells Kai’s story slowly, and very much through the lens of Kai as she grows and matures.I liked that Kai is the same age as I am throughout this book – born around 1970, the book follows her through to 2006, when she’s about 35. Since I grew up in the same time, I could relate to a lot of the references to books, movies, and music – as well as the idea of writing letters to long-distance friends.

What I liked most about the book is how real it felt. The characters experience things many of us can identify with, particularly worrying about how family patterns like violence and abuse may repeat themselves, how we know when a relationship is good for us or is holding us back, and how we recover from difficult times and mistakes we’ve made.

I’ll admit that I didn’t like Kai a lot of the time, and I wasn’t sure how much that was intentional on the part of the author, or whether I just found her abrasive. Some of this might be the writing, as the dialogue is very confrontational and not at all subtle. Certainly Kai goes through difficult times and those realistically impact her personality. Still, she has quite a temper and often acts inappropriately, initiating huge arguments without any rational basis.

I did find her infatuation with Josh disturbing and found him sympathetic most of the time. His reactions to her felt very understandable. It’s hard for me to relate to the idea that you can fall in love with someone at 7 years old and still be in love with them as an adult. But I suppose it happens, and it sets up an interesting dilemma in the book. Is Kai’s love for Josh immature, and is it more about maintaining a connection to her childhood, than truly loving someone for who they are as an adult?

I was a little bothered by the author’s description of September 11 in the story, mainly because I felt it lacked the detail the author put into so many other parts of this book. For example, at one point the family travels to Hawaii, and LaBarbera goes into rich detail describing the Kilauea National Park, including the volcanic crater. I’ve been there, and I could tell the author clearly had been there too. Yet, on September 11, the author gives us basically a couple of sentences, which was problematic as I’m supposed to believe this event had a huge impact on Kai. I know I can describe everything about that day in vivid detail. I wondered if the author was not comfortable going into detail.

There is a lot of sex in this book, which is fine with me, but it’s quite explicit and I think some readers will be surprised by that. Sex is of course very psychological, and I appreciated that the author explored that, particularly when it’s about power and powerlessness, or love and joy, or just distracting oneself from pain. I’ll note though, there are times in this book the level of detail seemed a little excessive for the tone of the book.

I liked that there were no villains, just people trying to overcome their limitations. The parents felt very real to me, although just as real were the terrible impacts on their children. I also appreciated the conclusion of the book, which I won’t discuss here. Altogether, this was a thoughtful read and one that explores compelling issues.

Note: I received an advanced review copy of this novel from publicist Books Forward. It’s published by Buckberg Mountain Books on June 11, 2024.

All I Know by Holly LaBarbera is a very deep novel. As you manage through the childhood memories and emotions of the FMC Kai you find yourself grasping on with such passion for their recovery and strength. You see the growth of someone in such fine detail you leap to this feeling of familiarity, as if you know them personally.

Holly did a brilliant job of capturing the ending of this Novel while still providing closure in their own way.

As the publish date of 06.11.24 arrives shortly, make sure to support Holly LaBarbera by purchasing All I Know!

I received an advanced copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review! Thank you NetGalley!

I'm so glad I gave this book a chance. The story is rich with family drama and relationships portrayed through excellent writing. LaBarbera is super talented at her craft. I liked this one a lot. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

All her life, Kai Martin family and the Tyler's have been a tightly knit unit.  Kai is best friends with Stephanie Tyler and has always dreamed of marrying Stephanie's older brother, Josh.  Kai is fiercely protective of her twin brother, Kade and looks to her trusting and gentle mother for advice.  As she grows, Kai notices some cracks in the family's foundation.  Both her father and the Tyler's dad drink a lot when they are together, sometimes the dads get violent as well, especially the Tyler's dad.  Kai also notices her and Kade grow apart and struggle. as they develop their own interests.  As Kai goes through several tragedies, she learns to rebuild and move on, although not always with the greatest coping strategies. Now, both adults Kai and Josh find themselves together once again and Kai is willing to change herself to fulfill her dream of being with Josh.  However, like many other things in Kai's life, her time with Josh is anything but perfect. 

All I Know is a raw look at the realities of life.  Told through Kai's point of view, the author brings us on an emotionally charged journey through several life changing events.  The writing handles all of these events with tenderness yet still communicating the matter-of-fact points of alcoholism, abuse, depression and abortion.  Following Kai from childhood to adulthood, her journey is one of finding yourself and not losing hope.  I do wish some of the other characters would have been a better source of strength in Kai's life.  Kai's mother was amazing, always offering advice and a steady emotional state, telling Kai what she needed to hear even when it was difficult. I was glad that Kai pursued therapy and reading Kai's letters to Kade were some of my favorite parts.  Josh was an interesting character, he seemed to be a constant for Kai, but was definitely fighting demons of his own that resulted in creating more turbulence for Kai.  In the end, I think Kai made the best decisions she could for herself. 
This book was received for free in return for an honest review.