I received an ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review

I Am the Swarm by Hayley Chewins is a first person-POV YA contemporary fantasy novel in verse. When Nell receives her magic, it takes the form of insects conveying her emotions outside of her body, available for all to see though few seem to realize it’s coming from her. Nell meets her first love at the same time she starts to embrace her new abilities and is struggling with abuse from her piano teacher.

In many ways, I Am the Swarm is quite heavy. Nell is being SA’d by her instructor and keeps it to herself instead of saying something. We don’t get anything explicit, but it is very obvious what is going on because he’s constantly touching her in ways that are not appropriate. Nell is also dealing with parental neglect, has a mother who is often too immature to really feel reliable, and feels constantly compared to her older sister, Mora. It’s a situation that I think, unfortunately, a lot of people can relate to and some teens might really need to see someone going through their struggles to help them process their lived reality and hopefully have the ability to change it.

I love a magic system that is different from anything that I’ve seen before and the combination of Nell’s feelings being on display and the different insects representing different feelings was certainly different. The novel being written in verse helps convey this and add to the dream-like borderline nightmare at times, atmosphere. I don’t think the magic system would have worked as well in a typical YA fantasy as it really needs that extra something to feel real. I was really surprised by how much I felt the style really enhanced the magic as I’m not normally into poetry.

Another aspect of the magic system is that people with magic constantly shift ages when they reach a specific age. It’s never fully explained how or why this happens in my memory, but it certainly helps to convey that there are times Nell simply cannot talk to her mother. On some days, Nell’s mother is in her early thirties, other days she’s barely older than Nell, and even more she’s in her twenties. This goes beyond physical looks but also emotional intelligence and it’s not something only magic users can see as others around Nell know that her mother is constantly different ages but the narrative doesn’t focus on the logistics of that so much besides the occasional comment.

Content warning for depictions of abuse

I would recommend this to haves of YA fantasy looking for a novel in verse and readers who love magical realism and speculative fiction looking for a YA

This was a fantastic magical world and was engaged with what was happening in this concept. The characters worked in this young adult novel, and had that element that I was looking for. I enjoyed how good Hayley Chewins wrote this and that the characters felt like real people.

This heartfelt and evocative YA fantasy is a poetic journey of self-discovery, beautifully enhanced with magical realism while addressing mental health, physical abuse, and parental neglect.

The lyrical writing, emotional depth, and heartbreaking story of Nell—a young girl trapped in a home where her sister Mori struggles with suicidal tendencies, her mother battles depression while neglecting her responsibilities, and her father immerses himself in work to avoid confronting their issues—create a poignant narrative. With Mori now in a clinic undergoing much-needed treatment, and their strained relationship adding to the tension, Nell is forced to confront her long-buried feelings as she grapples with being invisible to those around her. She longs to be seen and heard, to express her love, fear, resentment, and especially the anger she has kept hidden for years. The wasps she releases symbolize her inner screams, reflecting the pain she has suppressed.

The struggles of the Strand women and their years-long battles with mental health are masterfully portrayed through symbolism and magical powers. Yet, the story also offers hope, showing how one can navigate personal struggles and embrace their own flaws, strengths, and vulnerabilities. In the end, the scars we bear and the pain we endure make us stronger, setting us apart, as long as we find our voice and "speak" our truth.

I loved this emotional and powerful journey—it moved me to tears and touched the deepest parts of my soul with its raw beauty. It's a pure and unique story that readers must experience for themselves.

Many thanks to NetGalley and PENGUIN GROUP Penguin Young Readers Group | Viking Books for Young Readers for providing this intense YA fantasy fiction's digital reviewer copy in exchange for my honest thoughts.

I will be reading this one in its entirety when it actually comes out. I read about a quarter of it from the eARC provided by Netgalley. What I read was both captivating and absolutely stunning but I will not be finishing until I can see it in the format the author intended. Unfortunately, when the novel is in verse I feel like e-formats really detract from the book. Like I said though, I will 1000% be reading this one on release day, I am heading to preorder now.