Thank you Netgalley and Penguin Group for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

Haley Chewins’ “I Am the Swarm” is a haunting and poetic novel-in-verse that explores trauma, self-discovery, and the complex emotions of girlhood through a unique blend of magical realism and raw emotional depth. With lyrical prose and an unflinching look at difficult themes—including mental health struggles, parental neglect, sexual abuse, and self-harm—this book is as heartbreaking as it is powerful. Please make sure to read the content warnings before reading and take a break if needed.

At fifteen, Nell Strand believes her magic is a curse. In a family where magic is as much a burden as a gift—her mother’s age shifts unpredictably, and her older sister Mori hears music when she bleeds—Nell’s emotions manifest as insects. When she is happy, ladybugs dance across her piano, but as her pain grows, so do shameful beetles and furious wasps, reflecting the turmoil she cannot express. As she struggles with her sister’s absence in a treatment center, an inappropriate relationship with her music teacher, and the overwhelming loneliness of being unseen, Nell engages in self-destructive behaviors, attempting to starve both her emotions and her magic.

Chewins masterfully weaves magical realism into the story, using it as a metaphor for generational trauma and mental illness. The Strand women’s magic is both beautiful and tragic, a manifestation of their emotions, histories, and wounds. The prose itself is stunning, each verse carrying weight and intensity, making even the most painful moments feel enchanting. The wasps Nell summons are not just insects—they are the embodiment of rage, grief, and the desperate need to be heard.

The book does not shy away from difficult subjects. However, despite its heavy themes, “I Am the Swarm” is not a hopeless story. Nell’s journey toward self-acceptance and finding her voice is both heartbreaking and inspiring. Her relationship with Shay, though it begins suddenly, unfolds in a way that feels real and grounded, offering her a source of connection and understanding. The ending is bittersweet—there are no magical solutions, no easy fixes—but it feels authentic, leaving you with a sense of hope and resilience.

“I Am the Swarm” is a quiet yet powerful novel that lingers long after the last page. It is a testament to the strength of young women, the power of emotions, and the importance of speaking one’s truth. For readers who appreciate poetic storytelling, deep emotional resonance, and beautifully crafted magical realism, this is a must-read.

This is tough for me to rate because I don't think I totally *got* this book. I understood what the different insects represented and the troubles the MC was having with her sister and being ignored, but I don't think I totally understood some of the other issues the protagonist was having. I love reading books in verse, but this one was a bit too vague for me sometimes.

A character I really related to was the mom. What she goes through every day is one of the reasons I don't think I'll ever have children. I saw myself in her in a sad way.

The message of this book is powerful, but it didn't completely impact me the way I wanted it to.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with an e-arc in exchange for my honest review.

What a quiet but powerful read.

Novels in verse have become very special to me over the past couple years, and I'm so happy I found yet another one to add to my all-times favorites this year. The writing is beautifully written, as expected, and the emotion moments hit you precisely as you should. And because this book is filled with a lot of hard subject matters like mental health, sexual assault, parental neglect, and self-harm, they hit hard.

The magic realism in this book is so simple yet perfectly undefined. Mom's visible age changes constantly, the older sister has music in her body, and Nell's emotions manifest insects out of thin air, and nothing is explained to you why, just that it is. It works, though, as they are metaphorical as well as magical, such as the mom being emotionally immature because she visibly represents a teenager for most of the story. Nell's bug manifestation is the crux, with the bugs she makes being literal expressions of emotion. It's such a creative way to represent Nell's emotional turmoil and her eventual acceptance of herself, flaws and all.

Overall, I loved this book a lot. I can't write poetry for the life of me, but I love reading it when it's stuff like this!

I understand what the idea was behind this, I'm just not really sure that it worked. I think there was so much compelling stuff but it got lost in the formatting.

THOUGHTS

This book is beautiful. It's lyrical. It's dark and hopeful at the same time. It's hard to read, and it's worth enduring. It's a really strong dive into mental health and femininity and family, and I fully endorse it.


PROS
Extended Metaphor: This book serves first and foremost as an extended metaphor exploring one family's complicated relationship with mental health. It clings to the perspective of Nell, who inherits a weighty legacy of mental illness in her family (or, at this book frames it, some sort of magic). Her mother, her sister, and her grandmother have all struggled (and continue to struggle) under the weight of the magic that was gifted to them as teenage girls, and now Nell is coming of age in the midst of all this. She doesn't want to be so caught up in it. She doesn't want to bear the weight of it. And that's how her own magic manifests. It's a hard book to read, because it's a book shrouded in a heavy reality, but it is so well executed!

So Many Failures: It's also hard to read Nell's story because so many times along the way she is failed, failed by people who should be doing more for her. Family members, teachers, mentors: those who are older than her, supposed to be wiser than her, and ultimately responsible for her. This book is hard to read (but definitely worth the read) because it feels too real at points: because Nell is exactly the type of kid who can fall through the cracks and ultimately break under the weight she shouldn't have to shoulder at fifteen, especially not alone. But with so many bigger, louder presences in her life, no wonder nobody's listening to her or watching out for her needs. There are bigger crises happening, so hers is brushed to the wayside.

Caught in the Middle: I really liked Nell's love interest, who isn't ultimately a love interest. He's just a boy who gets caught up in the middle of everything that Nell is dealing with, and he doesn't even know the half of it. He shouldn't have to bear this emotional burden either, but I appreciated the role that he does play. Because he does so much right, so much that those who actually should be responsible for Nell aren't doing. He listens to her, and he checks in on her even when she's pushing him away. It's nice to have this glimpse of something lighter, something better in such a heavy book (even if I did feel bad for him getting caught up in all of the emotional turmoil that this book presents).


CONS
Heavy Subject: This book is very dark, and it deals with some heavy subject matter. It really won't be the right fit for a lot of readers. If you don't want or need content warnings, just move along, but those who prefer to avoid books dealing with self-harm, suicidal ideation, and disordered eating (among other things) should steer clear of this one. As much as I think it is a poignant piece, it is also a dark, heavy read.

Too Much: Nell already has so much going on in her life. She has so, so much to struggle with. And I get that the emotional detachment of her parents makes her an easy victim, too, but it almost felt like too much to be contained in one book. If I could have skipped anything here, I would have dropped the plotline with Nell's piano teacher because... ick. Not unrealistic, but in a book so heavy, I could have used a bit of a break. And Nell could have, too.

Poetry vs. Prose: Something I always struggle with in a novel-in-verse is the poetry itself. Because I'm really not an expert when it comes to poetry. I don't gravitate toward it in general, though I have my fair share of poet friends. But I'm always up for checking out a novel-in-verse, and sometimes that verse really does benefit the story. Here, I'm not so sure it does. I don't know that the poetic form added much to this plotline. Really, the verse just made it kind of difficult to find a place to break. This book is comprised of long sections made of little poems, and those poems in and of themselves never quite seem to contain a complete narrative chunk, so... I'm not sure what the point was. I'm not sure poetry did this book justice.


Rating

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
8/10

Fans of Ellen Hopkin's Crank will love dissecting dark subject matter in verse. Those who enjoyed Heather Kamins's The Moth Girl will like this book's use of fantasy to complicate reality.

90/100 or 4.50 stars

This was an amazing story. The author does a great job at using magic to help teach valuable lessons and cover difficult topics. I liked the world Chewins created. I would be interested to see what else Chewins can do to teach and guide young readers with other charcters and their unique magic that reveals itself to them at the age of fifteen.
This will be a healing and impactful story for so many young readers and I can't wait for them to experience it.
Of course, check the content warnings at the beginning of the story, as this does contain dark things.

Very poignant, evocative imagery, lyrically written.

(See 17:14–22:36)

https://youtu.be/UQz5U-5UpUk

The strand women are magical. Nell Strand thinks that magic is a curse. Her mother’s age changes everyday, and her sister hears music when she bleeds. Freshly fifteen. Nell’s magic manifests in the form of insects. First happy, little ladybugs that dance across her piano but soon shameful beetles and angry wasps begin to appear.

This magical, YA story about girlhood and self discovery will bring tears to your eyes.

It took until about fifty percent of the book to understand the prose but once I understood the rhythms and writing patterns this was such a beautiful story. I even went back to reread the first half of the book because I really wanted to dive head first into this story. It’s deeply heartbreaking and encompasses the feelings of girlhood and self discovery perfectly.

I mention the prose in this book a lot but I truly believe it enhances the reading experience. There are definitely some sensitive topics in this story and I think the writing does a wonderful job of allowing the reader to understand and feel empathy for what Nell is going through without pushing any boundaries. The lyrical way Chewins writes also blends beautifully with the magical elements. It made even the wasps and beetles seem enchanting. It also blended beautifully with the intense emotions and experiences our main character Nell experiences making this story so worth the read.

Overall, this was unlike anything I’ve read before but it was so well done and you can tell the author put so much thought and love into it. Would definitely recommend it for anyone to read.


Thank you to Viking Books for Young Readers and NetGalley for providing me with an arc in exchange for an honest review.

*I Am the Swarm* by Hayley Chewins is a powerful and emotional YA novel written in verse. It's a tough read, not just because of its lyrical style, but also because of the heavy themes it tackles. It’s a story that sticks with you, though, even after you’ve finished reading.

The main character, Nell, is going through a lot. She deals with neglect at home and feels overshadowed by her older sister. The book explores Nell's inner struggles, showing how she’s trying to navigate her difficult situation while facing some harsh realities. The writing is vivid and poetic, which adds to the emotional impact of the story.

This book is a slow burn and not for everyone, as it deals with sensitive subjects. It’s intense and thought-provoking, but also beautifully written in a way that pulls you in. If you’re looking for something deep and reflective, this book will leave a lasting impression. Just be aware of the themes and check for any trigger warnings before diving in.

Wonderful. Fabulous, remarkable work. I loved this. Read it three days. Highly recommend 10/10 I can’t wait to own it

The premise of I Am the Swarm sounded exactly up my alley, but after trying to start it multiple times I have to admit and accept that it’s not a book for me. I still think it is a really interesting premise, and I may give it another try when final copy releases, but for now this book didn’t work for me.

It requires a lot of thought to get through really reading it and wrapping your mind around about what is being read. Once you have gathered the concept of the writing, it becomes a beautiful and sad story. It did take me a while to read this because I was trying to get a hang of the writing style. It does remind me of like a poem style and the author is almost lyrical when it comes to the wording. It is a fantasy suicidal read , I think with reading the synopsis, it threw me off what I was going to be getting into because it was nothing like reading what it was about.

My thoughts reading were that it is lyrically written to follow the sad story of a girl going through suicidal thoughts and family issues. It hurt to read because of the way some things were put but, it was beautiful.

Hauntingly lyrical and deeply imaginative, I Am the Swarm by Hayley Chewins is a mesmerizing exploration of identity, power, and transformation. Chewins crafts a world brimming with dark beauty and poetic prose, making this a must-read for fans of atmospheric and thought-provoking fantasy.

lyrical and enchanting YA novel in verse about BUGSSSSS!! 4.5 stars, rounded up. tysm for the arc. would recommend.

Such a hard hitting YA novel in verse. Definitely look up trigger warnings.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an E-Arc!

I Am The Swarm is a book that captivated me with it's premise. In Nell's family all the women acquire some kind of magic when they turn 15. In her case, her emotions manifest through insects. Ladybugs when she's happy. Wasps when she's angry. A swarm lives inside her.

Nell doesn't know what to do with her magic. Her sister Mora bleeds music, her mother is a different age every day, and many times this magic seems more like a curse than a blessing. Add to that the trials and tribulations of adolescence and the female experience. The protagonist is in a process of catharsis, and we follow her through this radical change in her life through a book told in verse.

I feel like the story has so many allegorical elements in its plot. The author, despite making it very clear that this book has elements of magical realism, does an excellent job of keeping the line blurred, so that you as a reader can determine the meaning of certain elements. The deeper meaning if you will. It is a beautiful book in terms of narrative: Haykey Chewins' pen blends perfectly with the natural elements of the story. Almost like a fable.

Although it seems to me that some things were left undeveloped completely, this is thanks to the format of the book. When you narrate in verse you obviously sacrifice certain descriptions and certain points that (due to the number of words) are not explored as deeply as I would have liked, but I was satisfied overall with this story.

This is a story of womanhood, family dynamics (both good and bad) and the experience of growing up, becoming your own person, when everything else in your life seems wrong.

Great book, great cover and very different from anything I have read. I would love for the author to continue exploring this type of stories.

I received an ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review

I Am the Swarm by Hayley Chewins is a first person-POV YA contemporary fantasy novel in verse. When Nell receives her magic, it takes the form of insects conveying her emotions outside of her body, available for all to see though few seem to realize it’s coming from her. Nell meets her first love at the same time she starts to embrace her new abilities and is struggling with abuse from her piano teacher.

In many ways, I Am the Swarm is quite heavy. Nell is being SA’d by her instructor and keeps it to herself instead of saying something. We don’t get anything explicit, but it is very obvious what is going on because he’s constantly touching her in ways that are not appropriate. Nell is also dealing with parental neglect, has a mother who is often too immature to really feel reliable, and feels constantly compared to her older sister, Mora. It’s a situation that I think, unfortunately, a lot of people can relate to and some teens might really need to see someone going through their struggles to help them process their lived reality and hopefully have the ability to change it.

I love a magic system that is different from anything that I’ve seen before and the combination of Nell’s feelings being on display and the different insects representing different feelings was certainly different. The novel being written in verse helps convey this and add to the dream-like borderline nightmare at times, atmosphere. I don’t think the magic system would have worked as well in a typical YA fantasy as it really needs that extra something to feel real. I was really surprised by how much I felt the style really enhanced the magic as I’m not normally into poetry.

Another aspect of the magic system is that people with magic constantly shift ages when they reach a specific age. It’s never fully explained how or why this happens in my memory, but it certainly helps to convey that there are times Nell simply cannot talk to her mother. On some days, Nell’s mother is in her early thirties, other days she’s barely older than Nell, and even more she’s in her twenties. This goes beyond physical looks but also emotional intelligence and it’s not something only magic users can see as others around Nell know that her mother is constantly different ages but the narrative doesn’t focus on the logistics of that so much besides the occasional comment.

Content warning for depictions of abuse

I would recommend this to haves of YA fantasy looking for a novel in verse and readers who love magical realism and speculative fiction looking for a YA

This was a fantastic magical world and was engaged with what was happening in this concept. The characters worked in this young adult novel, and had that element that I was looking for. I enjoyed how good Hayley Chewins wrote this and that the characters felt like real people.

This heartfelt and evocative YA fantasy is a poetic journey of self-discovery, beautifully enhanced with magical realism while addressing mental health, physical abuse, and parental neglect.

The lyrical writing, emotional depth, and heartbreaking story of Nell—a young girl trapped in a home where her sister Mori struggles with suicidal tendencies, her mother battles depression while neglecting her responsibilities, and her father immerses himself in work to avoid confronting their issues—create a poignant narrative. With Mori now in a clinic undergoing much-needed treatment, and their strained relationship adding to the tension, Nell is forced to confront her long-buried feelings as she grapples with being invisible to those around her. She longs to be seen and heard, to express her love, fear, resentment, and especially the anger she has kept hidden for years. The wasps she releases symbolize her inner screams, reflecting the pain she has suppressed.

The struggles of the Strand women and their years-long battles with mental health are masterfully portrayed through symbolism and magical powers. Yet, the story also offers hope, showing how one can navigate personal struggles and embrace their own flaws, strengths, and vulnerabilities. In the end, the scars we bear and the pain we endure make us stronger, setting us apart, as long as we find our voice and "speak" our truth.

I loved this emotional and powerful journey—it moved me to tears and touched the deepest parts of my soul with its raw beauty. It's a pure and unique story that readers must experience for themselves.

Many thanks to NetGalley and PENGUIN GROUP Penguin Young Readers Group | Viking Books for Young Readers for providing this intense YA fantasy fiction's digital reviewer copy in exchange for my honest thoughts.

I will be reading this one in its entirety when it actually comes out. I read about a quarter of it from the eARC provided by Netgalley. What I read was both captivating and absolutely stunning but I will not be finishing until I can see it in the format the author intended. Unfortunately, when the novel is in verse I feel like e-formats really detract from the book. Like I said though, I will 1000% be reading this one on release day, I am heading to preorder now.