“Girls, you have no idea how sexy men will find your ankles if that’s the only part you show.”

✨ Genre: Memoir
✨ Steamy rating: Complicated/unwanted
✨ Profanity: Moderate

Tia’s story is both heartbreaking and appalling. Brainwashed from a young age, she was conditioned to strictly follow the rules of her church- rules that encouraged unquestioning submission, restricted education, and pressured her to marry in her late teens. While this book is powerful, her journey is unfortunately not unique. There are countless similar stories of women caught in abusive and oppressive systems. As much as I appreciated the depth of Tia’s resilience, the similarities to other books and severity of her struggles, made the book difficult to engage with. I found it upsetting to listen to, which is why it took me so long to finish. Despite the heaviness of the subject matter, Tia is inspiring - her strength in breaking free from both an abusive husband and an oppressive church makes her a powerful role model for others seeking freedom and empowerment.

Triggers: So many- sexual assault, sexual abuse, brainwashing, guilt, domestic violence, emotional abuse, sweeping domestic violence under the rug, sexism, isolation, and church oppression

Thank you @macmillan.audio for the copy of Tia’s story. It needed to be told.

This was a tough book but one everyone should pick up. It was well written and well narrated. The story is hard but one that needs to be heard.

I was not prepared for A Well Trained Wife. It is a compelling and outrageous story. Tia Levings is brave for sharing it and skilled at telling it. I had not heard the story. I feel like I lived under a rock until now but actually, I was living in a remote military posting with my family. The writing is excellent, the story is intense, and the narration, by Tia Levings herself, is outstanding and real. Her emotions really come through in the text because of the natural combination of her words and voice.

Thank you to the author, #NetGalley, and #MacmillanPublishers for the ARC

An equally fascinating and frustrating story of abuse, systemic sexism, religious trauma and survival. This is a hard memoir to read/listen to but it is important to know and understand. Definitely recommend.

“Like a slip of the hand beneath the ocean’s waves, nobody saw me vanish, as they focused on what I did instead of who I was.”

Tia is a woman failed by Christian ideology. As a teen and young adult, she was disempowered by her church, telling her that her dreams were not worth the investment of money or time; that her sole purpose was as a future mother, a keeper of a home, a servant to her husband; that any deviation or doubt would lead to eternal damnation. As Tia followed the only road she believed was available to her, she married a man whose behavior became increasingly more abusive and erratic over time. After years of abuse and manipulation, for the safety and wellbeing of herself and her children, she fled. But for Tia, escape wasn’t just about leaving a dangerous situation. It was also about building the space for healing. This memoir is about a woman who finds her voice, her power, and her light amidst years of hardship and spiritual oppression.

Throughout the story, Tia lays bare the difficulties she faced within the Christian fundamentalist religious community and the myriad ways that her cries for help were left unanswered. Time and again, as the flame of her hopes ignited, the religious leaders within her circle (and later, her husband) sought to stamp it out. There is a tenderness and honesty with which she shares her experience of motherhood and her yearning for growth, even amidst the brainwashing she was subject to from a young age. Tia uses vivid imagery to bring the reader into her experience - not just the brutality of the abuse or the oppression of the church, but also the quiet, desperate, hopeless moments. I would get a kind of thrill with how certain phrases were written; for example, “I kept secrets like black rose petals - a bridal bouquet of shadows” is expressive and weighty. The woman knows how to effectively use metaphors.

I was lucky to receive a copy of the audiobook for A Well-Trained Wife, which is read by Tia herself. As a narrator, Tia’s diction is clear and she makes an effort to vary her tone. When she is repeating Christian fundamentalist beliefs, her timbre rises and smoothens to mimic the “perfect wife”. Her voice warms any time she speaks about her children. There is a level of emotional detachment she uses when she speaks about the abuse she faced at the hands of her ex-husband. There are plenty of author-narrated audiobooks where the performance falls flat, and I don’t think that’s the case here.

I do think there were parts of the story that felt like the pacing slowed, almost to a crawl. In the last 20% of the book, Tia delves into the negative effects her marriage and religion had on her mental health - while interesting, I think that section could have been shortened, with some experiences omitted. She also discussed the 2016 U.S. presidential election and the impact of evangelical Christian voters during that time and in the years since. That was an element of the story that felt more “of the moment”, less “timeless,” and it could have been left out without much impact on the story overall. On the other hand, I can see why Tia would want to use her platform to try to advocate for her beliefs, especially to others in the Christian fundamentalist community who may not often be exposed to differing views.

I came to Tia’s story almost completely blind. I had never heard of her or come across her social media posts, though I have consumed other media in the exvangelical/fundie snark space. Her insight and thoughtful prose enhance what can be, at times, a harrowing story. There are parts of the memoir that are very difficult to read, and those who are sensitive to intimate partner violence, disordered eating, violence involving animals, religious extremism, and death of a child may need to sit this one out. Listening to the audiobook, I was in tears more than once as Tia recounted her experiences, so while it is well-written, I can only recommend this book to those who feel up to exploring those themes. That being said, Tia’s website says she’s working on writing fiction (books and screenplays), and I am interested in seeing more from this clearly talented writer.

**Many thanks to NetGalley, Tia Levings, Macmillan Audio, and St. Martin’s Press for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.**

This memoir is so well-done. It's a fascinating and unflinching look at a world that I really don't know that much about. I guess I could have assumed that fundamentalist Christian families had a lot of patriarchal stuff going on, but this truly read (and felt) like a horror movie at times! I had no idea that there's a whole industry of publications and books aimed at instructing women to subjugate and humiliate themselves in the name of God and marriage. The audiobook is particularly affecting, since it is read by the author herself. Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the opportunity to listen to this book in exchange for my honest opinion. I'll definitely be recommending this memoir to my bookstagram audience.

Listening to this memoir was eye opening. Tia's experiences she shared in such good and positive spin. The book kept my attention the entire way through, wanting to see how Tia managed to get out of her situation. I couldn't believe what she had to endure, but was glad when she was able to get out of the situation.

Firstly, I love a good memoir, and this is no exception. I am impressed with the strength Tia Levings shows in her memoir. Although always brought up in a religion forward community and household, Levings' issues did not arise, until her new husband found himself investigating and joining new churches, each with increasing degrees of strong patriarchy and less appreciation for the women in the community. Ultimately, Levings was forced to flee her home with her children in search for safety from the communities she was a part of as well as her mentally ill husband. Her story is certainly one that shows her ability to overcome, and strength to maintain her children's' safety. I would recommend to anyone interested in learning more about some of the extreme religions, as well as anyone that is interested in learning about someone who has the ability to overcome.

The audio production and quality were good.

Fascinating read. Narration utilizes different voices well to create a fun experience. Will be keeping an eye out for more from this author.

A devastating read, mostly because I can imagine the people out there living in these same circumstances and feeling lost, confused, alone.

As painful as many of the years with an abusive husband and an abusive church must have been, I appreciate hearing the positive moments, no matter how few. This reminds people that one of the difficulties escaping domestic abuse are the good days that often give false hope for more good days that never come. She was also provided help by church leaders/members which I’m also grateful for.

Most importantly, Tia is so strong. She endured, she planned, she organized, she stood up no matter how scary things got.

A Well-Trained Wife by Tia Levings is a very powerful, important but tough read. The author chronicles her life in the fundamentalist Quiverfull movement and its patriarchal society. I always love learning about different lifestyles and this one is scary!! The author did a great job narrating her own story.

This is an excellent audiobook, disturbing yet excellent.

I first heard parts of Tia's story through social media. I grew up in the South and saw people get sucked in to Christian fundamentalism but I was fortunate to never get too close. Tia's experiences show how scary high control religion is and the dangers it can pose for all of us.

I recommend this book to anyone who looks on such things as 19 Kids and Counting or Trad Wives positively. Please take the time to understand why these are actually toxic.

Thank you to Net Galley and Macmillan Audio for the audioARC!

Firstly, check the trigger warnings.
second, this book is read by the author which makes is so powerful. It was not a 'fun' book. but it was a great book.

A book is always more impactful when read by the author and so Tia Levings recounting her infuriating experience doesn't help but make an impact on the reader.
Trigger warnings for religious trauma, sex, violence and language.

Before you go into this book, please look up trigger warnings. Levings does not flinch away from the suffering she and others like her experienced.

Thank you to NetGalley, Tia Levings, and Macmillan Audio for providing me with a copy of the audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

A Well-Trained Wife takes a hard look at the reality of Christian Patriarchy that is, quite frankly, blazing across America. Levings exposes the hypocrisy and danger that has spread in the name of a "good Christian family."

As a former Christian, Tia's youth within the church mirrors parts of my own childhood. It is a difficult read, but an important one.

“I’m a human soul on a journey home, and I belong to me.” ~ Tia Levings

READ. THIS. BOOK.

A Well-Trained Wife has got to be one of the most beautiful memoirs I've ever read and has left me feeling honoured that the author would share her story with me. Clearly a very talented storyteller, Levings weaves through her personal story a broader narrative of looking for and finding one's true self, highlighting the value of resilience and self-advocacy.

I'm so incredibly proud of her for leaving an abusive marriage, and her observations following her escape had me tearing up. “Everyday, it was as if the more I made choices to save me, the more others showed up to help save me too”

Her ultimate path towards forgiving herself was deeply inspiring as a survivor of trauma myself, (“I could see the more I extended compassion to myself, the more I had to offer others. If I’d been doing the best that I could, what if they were too?”) and I'm especially grateful she didn't shy away from explicitly politicizing her lived experience and calling out the bigwigs within the fundie world.

Of all the ARCs I have ever received, this is the one I feel most grateful to have had the opportunity to read and review. A big thanks to Macmillan Audio, and to Tia, for both sharing her story, and narrating her own book.

I don't even know what to say... That book is incredible and it's so heartbreaking, it really open my eyes on what is still, sadly, our reality. I really admire her bravery, resilience and how strong she is, she has gone through so much in her life and I love how she told her story. For real I think everyone should read his book.

Tia Levings tells her life story - a slow (yet slippery and quick) descent into the world of being a traditional wife in a fundamentalist Christian marriage. Among the daily ongoings of raising children and trying to make a family, Tia is the victim of misogynism, Christian patriarchal control, poverty, and isolationism. Her story is so important and compelling during a time when this movement is trying to go through a rebrand as a "tradwife instagram aesthetic." The truth is anything but those picture perfect squares of homesteading and homeschooling. The dark side of abuse within her world will, at times, leave you bereft and broken alongside her as she navigates trials. At other times, you will be inspired by the strength and determination with which she rose to each occasion, sometimes to her own amazement.
Having grown up in a Pentecostal church (a "lite" version of Tia's), I was struck by how many of the foundations were rooted in those that captured Tia. These same foundational beliefs are now being used in the rise of Christian nationalism and to further the cause of toxicity towards women and marginalized groups. Tia's insight is a worse case scenario to some, but it is an opportunity to see where some want to lead us and just how terrible it would be.
Thank you, Tia, for your bravery and your voice.

It is truly astounding how much strength women have and how much it can be multiplied by motherhood.
This book had me almost crying on the bus and gasping in the car. Levings really highlights how easily Christianity can be manipulated and come to fuel oppressive structures. The societal acceptance of domestice abuse in these religious communities is much too widespread and it hurts so much to get an inside look at the shame and guilt that is shifted onto the wife in these situations. Levings has expertly crafted a criticism of conservative and extreme Christianities without coming across as hateful towards the reiligion, hopefully meaning her words are something its members will be willing to hear. The spirituality that she lands upon tells a lot about our human nature to worship and hold something as holy, something the evility of man does not always strip from us.
It is a difficult book to listen to, but expertly written and a story that deserves to be paid witness to.

Tia Levings' 'A Well-Trained Wife' is a brutally honest look at the underside of fundamentalist religious life. Its release has been perfectly timed to coincide with the "tradwife" trend and gives readers an idea of what that can sometimes entail. (Note: I'm not saying all of them have this experience.) Her journey is a study in courage - both for her own self-preservation and that of her children. She talks frankly about things many Gen X readers who were in Baptist church culture in the 80s will certainly remember (and may be triggered by). Her narration is perfect and I highly suggest listening to the audiobook. Tia's descriptions of the abuse she suffered at the hands of her first husband are heartbreaking (spankings and making her answer him with 'yes, lord' are just a couple) and it's followed by details of how she grew stronger and healed. My only warning to readers: while many may see familiar things in this book (Bill Gothard seminars and child rearing doctrine, for one), they may also unwittingly uncover their own buried traumas around religion.