Tia Levings’ experience is one shared by an unfortunate number of women in our world. <i>A Well-Trained Wife</i> is a powerful and unflinching memoir that lays bare the insidious nature of Christian fundamentalism and the devastating impact it has on women, families, and society as a whole. Levings recounts her journey from early indoctrination to her eventual escape, exposing how the patriarchal religious system repeatedly foisted on unknowing and innocent children strip women of autonomy, dignity, and basic human rights—all under the guise of divine will.

Raised in a rigid Southern Baptist environment, Levings was groomed from childhood to be a “compliant, submissive wife.” Her marriage at 19 to an abusive man was not an accident; it was the expected outcome of a system that conditions women to believe that obedience is love and suffering is godliness. Her husband’s control over her life, from her clothing to her thoughts, was reinforced by church teachings that demanded female submission and framed male dominance as righteous leadership. Levings' story is heartbreaking, but sadly, not uncommon.

I’ve made no secret of my distaste for this particular sect of Christian teaching in the past and it brings to light the truth of how easily comparable the god in this is to an abuser. And so what makes this memoir particularly compelling is how Levings weaves her personal experience into a broader critique of fundamentalist ideology. She doesn’t just recount her trauma—she exposes how these beliefs perpetuate cycles of abuse, silence victims, and destroy individual agency. The book highlights the dangerous consequences of a society where women are expected to surrender their independence for the sake of male authority. But the damage doesn’t stop with women—this system harms men, too, forcing them into rigid, toxic roles where control and emotional suppression are equated with strength. Children raised in these environments learn that love is conditional and that questioning authority is sinful, creating generations of people who struggle with identity, self-worth, and autonomy. Put simply, power structures like this are toxic and harmful in innumerable ways.

Levings’ escape from this life is both harrowing and inspiring. Her resilience and determination to reclaim her identity serve as a beacon of hope for others trapped in similar situations. <i>A Well-Trained Wife</i> is not just a personal memoir; it’s a call to action—a warning about the dangers of unchecked religious extremism and a plea for greater awareness of the harm it inflicts on individuals and communities.

For those who have never experienced fundamentalist Christianity firsthand, this book is an eye opener. For those who have lived it, Levings’ words offer solidarity, validation, and the powerful reminder that escape is possible. This memoir offers beneficial insight into the intersection of religion, gender, and power, existing as a stark reminder for why dismantling oppressive belief systems is crucial for the well-being of all.

As a narrator, Levings is incredibly effective. There is something truly impactful about hearing this story from the woman who wrote it.

A fascinating memoir about a woman who left her faith. I listened to the audio format, which was performed by the author. I always appreciate when the author narrates, bringing the story and emotions to life.

*many thanks to St Martins Press, Macmillan audio and Netgalley for the gifted copy for review

I loved this! The MC has such a hard life, and is so trapped, she doesn’t even realize it. It makes her removal and independence so much better!

I got into it very quickly! It's scary to see how easily indoctrinated someone can be through fundamentalist religious groups and how spousal abuse and rape can become a norm when women are taught to obey their husbands and not given any outlet for support. This book is well written and very intense. The author paints a very clear picture of how she got into this situation, and your desire to see her escape grows as her situation deteriorates. I can see why it was nominated for best memoir! The narration was great and it was easy to follow. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for giving me the chance to listen to and review this book!

Tia Levings’ A Well-Trained Wife is a raw, powerful memoir that takes readers inside her harrowing experience within the fundamentalist Quiverfull movement, where the oppressive ideals of Christian patriarchy shaped every aspect of her life. Narrated by Levings herself, the audiobook is a deeply personal and emotional account of her years of silence, isolation, and abuse at the hands of her controlling husband, all while she was trapped in a system that demanded unquestioning submission. With remarkable courage, Levings recounts her journey toward self-liberation, as she struggles to break free for the sake of her children and confronts the devastating realities of living in such a system. This memoir is both a heartbreaking look at the impact of extreme religious ideologies on women and a triumphant story of resilience, offering a vital and urgent perspective on the complexities of personal escape from toxic, patriarchal structures.

“A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy” by Tia Levings is a powerful and heart-wrenching memoir that takes readers deep into the life of a woman trapped in the oppressive world of Christian patriarchy. Levings recounts her early years as a wife in the Quiverfull movement, where women are expected to be silent, submissive, and fully devoted to their roles as homemakers and mothers. The seemingly wholesome exterior of her life conceals a grim reality of isolation, strict discipline, and emotional abuse.

Levings beautifully and courageously details her emotional and physical struggles within this deeply restrictive environment, showing the profound impact of a system that devalues women’s voices and autonomy. As her story unfolds, she begins to question her role and, more importantly, the future she is shaping for her children. Faced with an impossible choice, Levings ultimately decides to break free, risking everything to protect her family.

This memoir is not just a personal journey; it’s a larger commentary on the ways extreme belief systems can infiltrate marriage and family life, often with devastating consequences. Levings’ honesty, vulnerability, and strength in telling her story make A Well-Trained Wife both a deeply emotional and enlightening read. Her resilience is inspiring, and her story will resonate with anyone who has fought for personal freedom and autonomy in the face of societal or familial pressure.

An essential read for those interested in understanding the darker side of patriarchal religious systems and the courage it takes to challenge them.

Ever since I read Educated a number of years ago, I’ve become fascinated with learning about fundamentalism and religious extremism in general. This fascination has only intensified with the changing sociopolitical climate.

This memoir was so poignant, heartfelt and reflective. My heart broke for Tia, reading about her experiences in her childhood and how much her life trajectory was limited by the introduction of religion at an early age. Something I really appreciated was her acknowledgement of her own complicity in some of the decisions that shaped her life. Even though she is clearly not at fault for her own trauma, I appreciated how reflective she was.

I think it’s incredible and inspiring that Tia was able to both extricate herself from a suffocating environment, but even more so that she has become a champion for human rights now.

Thank you to MacMillan Audio, St. Martin’s Press and NetGalley for the ARC!

I really enjoyed this book. It was well written and told chronologically. It was raw and vulnerable about living in an evangelical marriage. I’m glad it ended well.

TBH I had to DNF this book because of the depictions of domestic violence. This is no fault of the author, I just could not handle it.

It took me some time to fully immerse myself in the book and Tia's complex story. From the beginning, I had a sense of how Tia's journey would unfold, and I found the narrative somewhat underwhelming until the pivotal moment of her escape. However, what truly captivated me was Tia's remarkable resilience and how she managed herself in the aftermath of her experiences. Her story serves as a powerful reminder of resilience and illustrates that it is completely acceptable to have our own opinions and to express them freely. It emphasizes the importance of taking time for ourselves to heal, making choices that bring us true happiness, and allowing ourselves to feel fear, grieve, and embrace our beliefs, regardless of what they may be.

Tia's strength is nothing short of inspirational. Her journey highlights the reality that victims can reclaim their lives, find the strength to survive, and make choices that define their futures. Furthermore, her story sheds crucial light on the troubling dynamics of Christian patriarchy, a subject that many of us are painfully aware of but often reluctant to confront.

I want to express my gratitude to NetGalley for providing me with a free copy of "A Well Trained Wife" in exchange for my honest review. And to Tia Levings for sharing her story.

A Well- Trained Wife, written by Tia Levings, is a book that I know will stay with me for a long time! I finished this book months ago, but realized today that I did not leave feedback for it. Tia tells her story of growing up in the church, and also how her upbringing taught and prepared her for her future. Unfortunately the way she was taught to be a Well-Trained wife may have made it more challenging for her, once she had to escape her husband who was not treating his wife as he should.
I struggled emotionally with this book at times, because I can see the way the church teaches women to be submissive and obedient; and how this could make it harder to stand up for oneself when the time comes. But I deeply admire the author and her bravery, as well as the vulnerability and care that she showed throughout this book.
Thank you to NetGalley, and to the author, publisher, and narrator of this book for an ALC in exchange for an honest review.

“Girls, you have no idea how sexy men will find your ankles if that’s the only part you show.”

✨ Genre: Memoir
✨ Steamy rating: Complicated/unwanted
✨ Profanity: Moderate

Tia’s story is both heartbreaking and appalling. Brainwashed from a young age, she was conditioned to strictly follow the rules of her church- rules that encouraged unquestioning submission, restricted education, and pressured her to marry in her late teens. While this book is powerful, her journey is unfortunately not unique. There are countless similar stories of women caught in abusive and oppressive systems. As much as I appreciated the depth of Tia’s resilience, the similarities to other books and severity of her struggles, made the book difficult to engage with. I found it upsetting to listen to, which is why it took me so long to finish. Despite the heaviness of the subject matter, Tia is inspiring - her strength in breaking free from both an abusive husband and an oppressive church makes her a powerful role model for others seeking freedom and empowerment.

Triggers: So many- sexual assault, sexual abuse, brainwashing, guilt, domestic violence, emotional abuse, sweeping domestic violence under the rug, sexism, isolation, and church oppression

Thank you @macmillan.audio for the copy of Tia’s story. It needed to be told.

This was a tough book but one everyone should pick up. It was well written and well narrated. The story is hard but one that needs to be heard.

I was not prepared for A Well Trained Wife. It is a compelling and outrageous story. Tia Levings is brave for sharing it and skilled at telling it. I had not heard the story. I feel like I lived under a rock until now but actually, I was living in a remote military posting with my family. The writing is excellent, the story is intense, and the narration, by Tia Levings herself, is outstanding and real. Her emotions really come through in the text because of the natural combination of her words and voice.

Thank you to the author, #NetGalley, and #MacmillanPublishers for the ARC

An equally fascinating and frustrating story of abuse, systemic sexism, religious trauma and survival. This is a hard memoir to read/listen to but it is important to know and understand. Definitely recommend.

“Like a slip of the hand beneath the ocean’s waves, nobody saw me vanish, as they focused on what I did instead of who I was.”

Tia is a woman failed by Christian ideology. As a teen and young adult, she was disempowered by her church, telling her that her dreams were not worth the investment of money or time; that her sole purpose was as a future mother, a keeper of a home, a servant to her husband; that any deviation or doubt would lead to eternal damnation. As Tia followed the only road she believed was available to her, she married a man whose behavior became increasingly more abusive and erratic over time. After years of abuse and manipulation, for the safety and wellbeing of herself and her children, she fled. But for Tia, escape wasn’t just about leaving a dangerous situation. It was also about building the space for healing. This memoir is about a woman who finds her voice, her power, and her light amidst years of hardship and spiritual oppression.

Throughout the story, Tia lays bare the difficulties she faced within the Christian fundamentalist religious community and the myriad ways that her cries for help were left unanswered. Time and again, as the flame of her hopes ignited, the religious leaders within her circle (and later, her husband) sought to stamp it out. There is a tenderness and honesty with which she shares her experience of motherhood and her yearning for growth, even amidst the brainwashing she was subject to from a young age. Tia uses vivid imagery to bring the reader into her experience - not just the brutality of the abuse or the oppression of the church, but also the quiet, desperate, hopeless moments. I would get a kind of thrill with how certain phrases were written; for example, “I kept secrets like black rose petals - a bridal bouquet of shadows” is expressive and weighty. The woman knows how to effectively use metaphors.

I was lucky to receive a copy of the audiobook for A Well-Trained Wife, which is read by Tia herself. As a narrator, Tia’s diction is clear and she makes an effort to vary her tone. When she is repeating Christian fundamentalist beliefs, her timbre rises and smoothens to mimic the “perfect wife”. Her voice warms any time she speaks about her children. There is a level of emotional detachment she uses when she speaks about the abuse she faced at the hands of her ex-husband. There are plenty of author-narrated audiobooks where the performance falls flat, and I don’t think that’s the case here.

I do think there were parts of the story that felt like the pacing slowed, almost to a crawl. In the last 20% of the book, Tia delves into the negative effects her marriage and religion had on her mental health - while interesting, I think that section could have been shortened, with some experiences omitted. She also discussed the 2016 U.S. presidential election and the impact of evangelical Christian voters during that time and in the years since. That was an element of the story that felt more “of the moment”, less “timeless,” and it could have been left out without much impact on the story overall. On the other hand, I can see why Tia would want to use her platform to try to advocate for her beliefs, especially to others in the Christian fundamentalist community who may not often be exposed to differing views.

I came to Tia’s story almost completely blind. I had never heard of her or come across her social media posts, though I have consumed other media in the exvangelical/fundie snark space. Her insight and thoughtful prose enhance what can be, at times, a harrowing story. There are parts of the memoir that are very difficult to read, and those who are sensitive to intimate partner violence, disordered eating, violence involving animals, religious extremism, and death of a child may need to sit this one out. Listening to the audiobook, I was in tears more than once as Tia recounted her experiences, so while it is well-written, I can only recommend this book to those who feel up to exploring those themes. That being said, Tia’s website says she’s working on writing fiction (books and screenplays), and I am interested in seeing more from this clearly talented writer.

**Many thanks to NetGalley, Tia Levings, Macmillan Audio, and St. Martin’s Press for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.**

This memoir is so well-done. It's a fascinating and unflinching look at a world that I really don't know that much about. I guess I could have assumed that fundamentalist Christian families had a lot of patriarchal stuff going on, but this truly read (and felt) like a horror movie at times! I had no idea that there's a whole industry of publications and books aimed at instructing women to subjugate and humiliate themselves in the name of God and marriage. The audiobook is particularly affecting, since it is read by the author herself. Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the opportunity to listen to this book in exchange for my honest opinion. I'll definitely be recommending this memoir to my bookstagram audience.

Listening to this memoir was eye opening. Tia's experiences she shared in such good and positive spin. The book kept my attention the entire way through, wanting to see how Tia managed to get out of her situation. I couldn't believe what she had to endure, but was glad when she was able to get out of the situation.

Firstly, I love a good memoir, and this is no exception. I am impressed with the strength Tia Levings shows in her memoir. Although always brought up in a religion forward community and household, Levings' issues did not arise, until her new husband found himself investigating and joining new churches, each with increasing degrees of strong patriarchy and less appreciation for the women in the community. Ultimately, Levings was forced to flee her home with her children in search for safety from the communities she was a part of as well as her mentally ill husband. Her story is certainly one that shows her ability to overcome, and strength to maintain her children's' safety. I would recommend to anyone interested in learning more about some of the extreme religions, as well as anyone that is interested in learning about someone who has the ability to overcome.

The audio production and quality were good.

Fascinating read. Narration utilizes different voices well to create a fun experience. Will be keeping an eye out for more from this author.