𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐰, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐘 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝. 𝐓𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐓𝐢𝐚 𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐢𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐓 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝; 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐈 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐯𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬.

𝐁𝐞 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝. 𝐃𝐢𝐝 𝐈 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐣𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝? 𝐘𝐞𝐬. 𝐖𝐚𝐬 𝐈 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝? 𝐄𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐲. 𝐃𝐨 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭? 𝐘𝐞𝐬 (𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐚𝐬 𝐓𝐢𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐭!). 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐢𝐧-𝐭𝐡𝐞-𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥, 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥-𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧.

𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝒯𝒾𝒶 𝐿𝑒𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈, 𝑀𝒶𝒸𝓂𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒶𝓃 𝒜𝓊𝒹𝒾𝑜, & 𝒩𝑒𝓉𝒢𝒶𝓁𝓁𝑒𝓎 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒜𝑅𝒞! 𝒜𝓁𝓁 𝑜𝓅𝒾𝓃𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓂𝓎 𝑜𝓌𝓃.

A Well-Trained Wife by Tia Levings is an interesting memoir. She experienced so much because of the twisted views of love, marriage, and the duties of a wife. There were red flags of her future husband even before he wedding. But she didn't listen to her doubts. So, she endured way too much. Thankfully, she listened when she really needed to.

It is well written and I couldn't put it down because I wanted to know more of her story.

Thank you to Netgalley and Macmillan Audio for the advanced reader copy.

This is a gut-wrenching yet ultimately redemptive and uplifting memoir about a woman who lived through severe religious trauma.

As a young child, Tia's family became involved with a very conservative Christian church. Some of the church teachings and people she met were appealing to Tia--she just wanted to be the best Christian, and eventually the best Christian wife and Christian mother she could. She felt as if these "rules" would help her. She married a man who had shown his cruel, possessive side before marriage, yet Tia felt as if this was what God wanted for her. Then came years of abuse, hidden behind church doctrine and fundamentalist teachings. When she was eventually able to break free, Tia chronicles her journey towards healing.

Honestly, I can say--there but for the grace of God go I. This could have been me all things considered had I married someone different. I married and raised my children during the time where these harmful movements were at their pinnacle. They definitely still exist, don't get me wrong, but in the early 2000s purity culture, quiverfull (letting God determine the size of your family), the Pearls, Growing Kids God's Way, etc. was huge. So many of these horrific teachings used the Bible to justify and almost glorify abuse of women and children.

People can read this from the outside and think--why did she just not leave? Isn't that what we always think when a woman is in an abusive situation? It is never that simple or that black and white, despite what it seems to an outsider. When a woman doesn't feel as if she has any other option, if she is made to feel by the church and by her friends and family that this is normal and acceptable, what are the alternatives?

Back to the book, I really appreciated her thoughtful inclusion of her therapy journey. Anyone who has escaped abuse, religious trauma, or any other form of trauma, can find hope that healing is possible. So many people have been deeply harmed by these teachings and need to know that there is light where there only seems to be darkness.

If the author's experiences mirror your own, this might be a very difficult read. I listened to the audiobook and cried many times listening to the horror that occurred. The author narrates her own book which must have taken a large amount of courage to do.

This is a very powerful memoir, highly recommended.

“Holy matrimony,” this is not.

A WELL-TRAINED WIFE is Tia Levings’ memoir, about her experiences being married to an abusive man, while living a cloistered life within a Christian fundamentalist church organization.

-Men are in charge, always.
-Women do not have autonomy.
-Men are encouraged to “spank” their wives.
-Women are expected to submit to their husbands, always, about everything.

The insidious power of abuse is staggering. Add in religious extremism, and you have created an emotional and psychological prison. Walls and locks aren’t necessary.

People often ask why abused women stay so long. Read this book, and you will begin to understand.

I think it’s important to note that the author isn’t attacking Christianity here. Her faith, miraculously, stayed intact. It’s the specific religious sect and the specific people who were the problem.

I received this book in both ebook and audiobook format. The author narrates the audiobook, which I normally love, but here I actually wish someone else had done the narrating. No offense to the author, but the experience was emotionally distant, straightforward reading. While I enjoyed listening to it, I felt more impact when I switched to reading the ebook myself.

*I received a free eARC from St. Martin’s Press, via NetGalley, and a free audiobook download from Macmillan Audio.*

I found Tia Levings on Instagram a year or two ago and listened to her Podcast, where I first heard about this book.

I listened to this on audio. The author narrated the book herself and this is one of my favorite ways to read memoirs. It was as if she was telling me her story directly. It covered a lot of heavy topics- Abuse, loss, coercive control, and her challenge to escape from the dark underbelly of religious extremism. It was well written and easy to keep going- even though the content was heavy.

I hear she's working on a second book and I'm looking forward to picking that one up when it comes out.

Thank you Netgalley for this audio edition of A Well-Trained Wife by Tia Levings.

Huge trigger warning if you plan to read this, especially if you have trauma from a fundamental religion.

Tia Levings was once what is being called now a "fundie wife." She was raised to be one, and found herself married and bearing children at a young age with very little education or consent. In this story, she gives her account of the infuriating abuse she experienced, not only by her husband, but church leaders and doctrine as well. Fortunately, you also get her account of her brave escape and recovery. She shines a red hot light on the church and how it perpetuates abuse against women and children.

I won't lie, this was hard, and some of it became downright unbearable to read. But she was succinct and very brave in her telling and I admire her deeply for it. This won't be a pleasure cruise, but you will learn a lot about being a trad wife in the 90's and how women like Tia are fighting hard for change.

A Well-Trained Wife is an eye-opening memoir about what life can be like for some women trapped in the confines of extremist religions. Levings details the way young women are groomed to be subservient and swallow their voices. That attracts controlling and abusive men like a siren song, and those men are supported completely by their church.
The author pulls no punches when she relates the unhealthy messages she received as a young girl in a "mega-church" in Florida and how those messages led her to enter into and remain in an abusive marriage. The psychology of oppressive religious organizations is horrifying to watch unfold as her then-husband moved the family among churches that encouraged increasingly escalating patriarchal domination.
The book is well-written, and the author narrates the audiobook. I like that because I feel as if the reader is getting emphasis on all the right parts. I finished the audiobook within two days because I was so hooked on the story and wanted to hear what happened next. This is a must-read for anyone who has ever asked, "Why didn't she just leave?"

If you're looking to be angered and to have your mind blown, this is the book for you. Levings lays bare the life she lived within her fundamental christian marriage and it's not pretty. I felt incensed and saddened while hearing what her husband put her and her children through in the name of religion. At the same time I felt in awe of her tenacity and strength to not allow him to fully dull her shine or talent. To think that people like this exist is frightening but this book gives one hope that change can happen. Tia Levings is strong beyond comprehension and this book really showed what determination can do even in the most seemingly hopeless of situations. If you enjoyed Educated by Tara Westover, this is a no brainer!

This was a very honest and heart-wrenching book. Tia Levings is a fanstastic writer and really had me experiencing all her trials with her.

Finally a good memoir!! It is unbelievable what Tia had to endure at the hands of her husband in a Christian fundamentalist marriage. This is a crazy lifestyle as they practice domestic discipline and a wife being a submissive servant. Saying yes my lord to your husband. Her husband was barbaric. Raping her, telling her he hated her taste, her smell and fluids, and that her rebellion was a cock blocker. He was physically abusive.Thankfully she was able to move on and away from the church and her husband and a build a life for herself and her children. Thank you @macmillan.audio for the ALC #macaudio2024 PUB DATE FOR THIS IS AUGUST 6, 2024.

Wow! Just wow! This isn’t a happy story, it’s a story of grief, abuse and religious trauma. It’s real, raw, horrible and infuriating but our Author, Tia, is strong, smart and resilient. She endured so much in her life and has overcome so many obstacles to be a voice for women’s rights and women and children still in fundamentalist Christian communities. She sheds a light on what life in these extreme Christian communities looks like. And it isn’t pretty.
Tia Levings narrates her story and its emotional, impactful, and I immensely enjoyed it! I absolutely recommend the audio!
Thanks NetGalley for granting me this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Thanks to MacMillan Audio and NetGalley for the digital audiobook. I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Trigger Warnings: rape, domestic violence, graphic pornography description, animal deaths

While I thought the book was engaging and certainly worth the read, I had a hard time following the first portion of the book. Tia Levings just sort of jumps into the story mid-way through her childhood and didn’t do a very good job of explaining how her upbringing led her to the decision to marry her first husband. She was not personally religious and seemed to go through the motions for her parents, it seems, and in many ways had childhood experiences similar to many of us born around the same time (core Generation X.) Or maybe her subsequent experiences as a trad wife have colored her own memories, I don’t know, but I was utterly confused at how she ended up with the husband she did.

That’s not to discount the story Levings tells, not at all! Once she’s married, the story really picks up. The years and years of subjugation and abuse she suffered at the hands of her husband, and those of authority in the myriad of churches the family attended is telling. She found herself married young and having kid after kid in keeping with the Quiverfull movement. Any sort of personal freedoms she had as a young wife were slowly stripped away by her husband, and she just took it because 1) she thought she must be sinful and that’s why she was being punished and 2) she couldn’t see a way out to freedom with all her little ones.

Levings narrates her own book, and I found her voice powerful and strong as she recounted all the twisted and hurtful things she was taught in the name of Christianity. There are plenty of Christian families that don’t fit this narrative, that should be pointed out, but the author is shedding light on the insidious parts of extreme Christians. Would definitely recommend this audiobook.

Tia Levings’ memoir of her time in a Quiverfull marriage gives insight into a world that only someone who has lived and left is able to tell. Brought up in a strict Christian household, she married an abusive husband who hid behind religion to inflict abuse and control on her until she finally fled one night in fear of her life and the life of her children.

I do not believe this story is anti religion; I believe is it against those who take religion and distort it into something that allows for misogyny, abuse and hypocrisy. Tia’s husband seemed to suffer from mental illness and used religion as a means to control her (e.g. she was not allowed to vote, he was allowed to hit her so she would be submissive to him). I think a greater issue here was that Tia’s world was so insular that she did not feel she could turn for help outside her community, (e.g. her parents, the police) and when she finally spoke up within it, those in her church simply enabled her husband and told her she needed to be a better wife and mother. This was good as an audiobook since it is told in her voice.

I have watched the Shiny Happy People documentary and there was some overlap from that in testimonies from people who had left the community.

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan audio for the ARC to review

A Well-Trained Wife, My Escape from Christian Patriarchy by Tia Levings was an audiobook listen for me and I thought she did a great job narrating it. I gave this a 4 ⭐️ and was glad she shared her journey. She has survived terrible things and we’re heartbreaking. But having said that I thought this was more about an abusive marriage and not so much about the church. So if that’s what you’re looking for in this memoir you won’t find it here.
Thanks Macmillan Audio via NetGalley.

This is a memoir about a woman living in and eventually leaving evangelical Christianity. I followed a lot of the Christian "mommy blogs" back in their heydey in the early aughts as someone who found the whole phenomenon vaguely amusing while also not believing that these women's lives were being portrayed accurately. Turns out that I was both right and wrong: Tia states that one of her biggest jobs was keeping the image of her family clean, so a lot of the squeaky clean image was a veneer. But some things I thought were completely made up - like Biblical Discipline, where husbands would consensually spank their wives for disobedience and then afterward show them they still loved and appreciated them by making love - actually happened. I remember reading about it and thinking it must just have been an excuse to have some kinky sex, but apparently I was wrong.

The main point I took from this: Tia didn't start in a fundamentalist church, "just" an evangelical one, but the teachings in her more "moderate" church primed her to accept more and more extreme practices. This is an unflinching book, meaning that there are graphic depictions of SA and DV. I listened to this one, and the audiobook is read by the author. Her reading is more matter-of-fact than dramatic, but that serves to underscore the mundanity of her abuse rather than detract from its horror.

This objective review is based on a complimentary audiobook.

I have become a huge fan of audiobooks, specifically if it is autobiographical and read by the author. You can truly feel the pain and anguish throughout while Tia is reliving her story for us. It was so heartbreaking and eye opening to hear what growing up in a fundamentalist Christian culture was like, especially as the "obedient" female. The book did not just reflect on the trauma she endured, but was almost a lesson in how to put your children and self first and leave an abusive and dangerous situation. Thank you Tia for sharing your story it was powerful.

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the eARC.

There are absolutely no way I can summarize the impact of listening to Tia share her gut wrenching story. This book made me cry, audibly gasp, scream, and feel all the feelings. An absolute must read.

This was an incredible story of an amazing woman who overcame something very HUGE. I loved how she explained her therapy at the end of the book. She was authentic, vulnerable and relatable. Thank you for the awesome read. I have already purchased for my library and know that this is going to fly off the shelves!

This book was amazing. Tia told her own story in a way that was honest and raw while showing the reader hope. Tia told her story of growing up in fundamentalist christian religion that was high control and caused her doubt herself worth and put herself into unsafe situations. She suffered abuse and isolation by her husband and her churches. She shares private details in the book that show the reality of how she got trapped in a terrible situation and how she got out. I liked that the book focused on her experience during the trauma while also devoting a good portion of the book to how she got out, what it was like and how it was still complicated and required a lot of work on her own mental health. I think everyone should read this as a cautionary tale for high control religion.

A Well Trained Wife by Tia Levings
Narration: A
Content/Memoir: A
Best Aspect: Very real and very detailed account of the author’s life, mostly how she overcame and escaped abuse.
Worst Aspect: Upsetting in many parts, but it was her reality.
Recommend: Yes.