This was a really impactful story. Perfect for fans of documentaries, especially those that like to dive into cult culture or the documentary on the Duggars. At times difficult to listen to because of the trauma the author went through, but an important story to be heard nonetheless.

Levings wrote an amazing narrative of her life and we should all be thankful for her sharing it with us. She is incredibly thoughtful and that shows through her voice. I have read many memoirs that fit this category- escape from religious oppression in different forms- and something unique in Levings’ book is her explicit call out between the connection of this country’s political climate, the republic party, and Trump with Christian fundamentalism. She has offered insight that is invaluable to everyone and I hope many can learn from her.

This book is absolutely devastating, and I am glad I was able to engage in the Author's story in this way. The abuse that she suffered at the hands of her husband and in the name of faith are heartbreaking and I am very impressed with the author's ability to be vulnerable and tell her story. There were so many layers to what happened to her and her children and I appreciate that she has been able to work through some of these things with a counselor to the point where writing this book and confronting her past was possible. The story is told with a good pace that kept the reader interested but also allowed enough time to really hear what was happening in the narrative. Though I know that things like this happen in the church, to hear this story really made some of it real in a way I have not been confronted with before.

I was able to listen to the audiobook and honestly don't know how the author was able to read some of the things that happened without the story colouring her narration, but she did, which shows how much her counselling has helped. The narration was great, and that it was the author reading her story made it connect perhaps more than simply reading the book would have.

I received an advanced copy of this audiobook from netgalley. Opinions are my own.

I found this memoir so interesting and simultaneously devastating. I was intrigued by the perspective and appreciated the tie in to politics near the end.

Tia's story is so well told here. She is brave in discussing the things that were difficult and fundamental in her upbringing and does so unapologetically. I loved the emotion that you could feel as she read, and the audiobook was especially well done. This was a beautiful story that was so well told.

If you're at all interested in cult stories, or stories of resilience, this book is for you!

I listened to this in 24 hours because it was so heartbreaking but also so courageous of Tia to get out of her situation. Some parts were hard to listen to but I think it helps people understand what she went through and what other women go through. This was such a good book and I hope it helps other women leave situations like this too.

“𝘛𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘦, 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦.”

Well this certainly wasn't an easy read, but it was definitely very moving and powerful. I'll never be able to grasp the amount of strength and courage it must take to leave an abusive relationship, especially with a house full of young children, but I'm so in awe of the people who do. Tia is one of these people, and not only did she survive but is now sharing her story and giving a voice to women who are still silenced. Full synopsis below but I highly recommend to anyone who enjoys memoirs and/or has an interest in Christian fundamentalism ✨

I went back and forth a couple times from my physical ARC to audiobook but listened to the majority. The author narrates herself which I usually love because it adds a sincere extra emotional layer to the story.

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for providing me an ALC in exchange for my honest thoughts.

"A Well-Trained Wife" by Tia Levings is an audiobook I couldn’t stop listening to, despite the painful content. Levings recounts her harrowing experiences with abuse and gaslighting in a direct and unflinching manner. As someone who grew up in conservative evangelicalism, I found many aspects of her story eerily familiar, reminding me of the long-forgotten "seminars" and other indoctrination tools I've since worked to deconstruct. For those unfamiliar with such experiences, Levings provides an invaluable insight into the oppressive demands placed on women in fundamentalist communities. Her narrative is particularly relevant today, as the political futures of women are increasingly debated and defined. This book is a compelling listen or read, offering a significant contribution to ongoing discussions about women's autonomy and rights.

Audiobook received for free through NetGalley

Wow. So glad I came across this book but so heart wrenching and hopeful. Definitely a required read if wanting to understand more the strict Christian patriarchy system.

I wish there were a way to make sure Tia Levings' message reaches every single woman in America. Her story is both horrifying and hopeful and I think this message being shared someone who was raised in a radical religious environment and is now able to see it more objectively is so impactful.

I was raised in a traditional Catholic family. I went to 12 years of Catholic schooling. I realize Catholicism is a different branch of religion, but I am familiar with traditional, ultra-conservative religious views, Many of the views Tia talks about being raised with (especially as they pertain to premarital sex and traditional family groups) is consistent with the way I was raised..... yet I have always nave never once worried about being in this kind of situation. In fact, I have always wondered how people find themselves living like Tia is in at the start of her story. I have always wondered why they don't just leave. How could women possibly live with this kind of insanity? This author answers every question I have ever had.

Tia's story is compelling.& timely. She takes on a topic that is extremely relevant given the political climate in the US right now and handles it with the knowledge and experience of an insider and the well-rounded perspective of an outsider. I hope this book becomes extremely widely read and helps people on both sides understand the other and really gain an appreciation for how people end up in these situations and how important it is to help them get out.

Listening to this made me realize how even to this day women are living like this. This was a great eye opener and appreciate that the author de idea to come out with this. I personally wouldn't have picked this up myself and I glad i got a chance to read this. It was difficult to read and her story made me angry. I believe the author wanted to invoke these emotions in us.

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐰, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐘 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝. 𝐓𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐓𝐢𝐚 𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐢𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐓 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝; 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐈 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐯𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬.

𝐁𝐞 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝. 𝐃𝐢𝐝 𝐈 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐣𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝? 𝐘𝐞𝐬. 𝐖𝐚𝐬 𝐈 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝? 𝐄𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐲. 𝐃𝐨 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭? 𝐘𝐞𝐬 (𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐚𝐬 𝐓𝐢𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐭!). 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐢𝐧-𝐭𝐡𝐞-𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥, 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥-𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧.

𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝒯𝒾𝒶 𝐿𝑒𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈, 𝑀𝒶𝒸𝓂𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒶𝓃 𝒜𝓊𝒹𝒾𝑜, & 𝒩𝑒𝓉𝒢𝒶𝓁𝓁𝑒𝓎 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒜𝑅𝒞! 𝒜𝓁𝓁 𝑜𝓅𝒾𝓃𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓂𝓎 𝑜𝓌𝓃.

A Well-Trained Wife by Tia Levings is an interesting memoir. She experienced so much because of the twisted views of love, marriage, and the duties of a wife. There were red flags of her future husband even before he wedding. But she didn't listen to her doubts. So, she endured way too much. Thankfully, she listened when she really needed to.

It is well written and I couldn't put it down because I wanted to know more of her story.

Thank you to Netgalley and Macmillan Audio for the advanced reader copy.

This is a gut-wrenching yet ultimately redemptive and uplifting memoir about a woman who lived through severe religious trauma.

As a young child, Tia's family became involved with a very conservative Christian church. Some of the church teachings and people she met were appealing to Tia--she just wanted to be the best Christian, and eventually the best Christian wife and Christian mother she could. She felt as if these "rules" would help her. She married a man who had shown his cruel, possessive side before marriage, yet Tia felt as if this was what God wanted for her. Then came years of abuse, hidden behind church doctrine and fundamentalist teachings. When she was eventually able to break free, Tia chronicles her journey towards healing.

Honestly, I can say--there but for the grace of God go I. This could have been me all things considered had I married someone different. I married and raised my children during the time where these harmful movements were at their pinnacle. They definitely still exist, don't get me wrong, but in the early 2000s purity culture, quiverfull (letting God determine the size of your family), the Pearls, Growing Kids God's Way, etc. was huge. So many of these horrific teachings used the Bible to justify and almost glorify abuse of women and children.

People can read this from the outside and think--why did she just not leave? Isn't that what we always think when a woman is in an abusive situation? It is never that simple or that black and white, despite what it seems to an outsider. When a woman doesn't feel as if she has any other option, if she is made to feel by the church and by her friends and family that this is normal and acceptable, what are the alternatives?

Back to the book, I really appreciated her thoughtful inclusion of her therapy journey. Anyone who has escaped abuse, religious trauma, or any other form of trauma, can find hope that healing is possible. So many people have been deeply harmed by these teachings and need to know that there is light where there only seems to be darkness.

If the author's experiences mirror your own, this might be a very difficult read. I listened to the audiobook and cried many times listening to the horror that occurred. The author narrates her own book which must have taken a large amount of courage to do.

This is a very powerful memoir, highly recommended.

“Holy matrimony,” this is not.

A WELL-TRAINED WIFE is Tia Levings’ memoir, about her experiences being married to an abusive man, while living a cloistered life within a Christian fundamentalist church organization.

-Men are in charge, always.
-Women do not have autonomy.
-Men are encouraged to “spank” their wives.
-Women are expected to submit to their husbands, always, about everything.

The insidious power of abuse is staggering. Add in religious extremism, and you have created an emotional and psychological prison. Walls and locks aren’t necessary.

People often ask why abused women stay so long. Read this book, and you will begin to understand.

I think it’s important to note that the author isn’t attacking Christianity here. Her faith, miraculously, stayed intact. It’s the specific religious sect and the specific people who were the problem.

I received this book in both ebook and audiobook format. The author narrates the audiobook, which I normally love, but here I actually wish someone else had done the narrating. No offense to the author, but the experience was emotionally distant, straightforward reading. While I enjoyed listening to it, I felt more impact when I switched to reading the ebook myself.

*I received a free eARC from St. Martin’s Press, via NetGalley, and a free audiobook download from Macmillan Audio.*

I found Tia Levings on Instagram a year or two ago and listened to her Podcast, where I first heard about this book.

I listened to this on audio. The author narrated the book herself and this is one of my favorite ways to read memoirs. It was as if she was telling me her story directly. It covered a lot of heavy topics- Abuse, loss, coercive control, and her challenge to escape from the dark underbelly of religious extremism. It was well written and easy to keep going- even though the content was heavy.

I hear she's working on a second book and I'm looking forward to picking that one up when it comes out.

Thank you Netgalley for this audio edition of A Well-Trained Wife by Tia Levings.

Huge trigger warning if you plan to read this, especially if you have trauma from a fundamental religion.

Tia Levings was once what is being called now a "fundie wife." She was raised to be one, and found herself married and bearing children at a young age with very little education or consent. In this story, she gives her account of the infuriating abuse she experienced, not only by her husband, but church leaders and doctrine as well. Fortunately, you also get her account of her brave escape and recovery. She shines a red hot light on the church and how it perpetuates abuse against women and children.

I won't lie, this was hard, and some of it became downright unbearable to read. But she was succinct and very brave in her telling and I admire her deeply for it. This won't be a pleasure cruise, but you will learn a lot about being a trad wife in the 90's and how women like Tia are fighting hard for change.

A Well-Trained Wife is an eye-opening memoir about what life can be like for some women trapped in the confines of extremist religions. Levings details the way young women are groomed to be subservient and swallow their voices. That attracts controlling and abusive men like a siren song, and those men are supported completely by their church.
The author pulls no punches when she relates the unhealthy messages she received as a young girl in a "mega-church" in Florida and how those messages led her to enter into and remain in an abusive marriage. The psychology of oppressive religious organizations is horrifying to watch unfold as her then-husband moved the family among churches that encouraged increasingly escalating patriarchal domination.
The book is well-written, and the author narrates the audiobook. I like that because I feel as if the reader is getting emphasis on all the right parts. I finished the audiobook within two days because I was so hooked on the story and wanted to hear what happened next. This is a must-read for anyone who has ever asked, "Why didn't she just leave?"

If you're looking to be angered and to have your mind blown, this is the book for you. Levings lays bare the life she lived within her fundamental christian marriage and it's not pretty. I felt incensed and saddened while hearing what her husband put her and her children through in the name of religion. At the same time I felt in awe of her tenacity and strength to not allow him to fully dull her shine or talent. To think that people like this exist is frightening but this book gives one hope that change can happen. Tia Levings is strong beyond comprehension and this book really showed what determination can do even in the most seemingly hopeless of situations. If you enjoyed Educated by Tara Westover, this is a no brainer!

This was a very honest and heart-wrenching book. Tia Levings is a fanstastic writer and really had me experiencing all her trials with her.