Finally a good memoir!! It is unbelievable what Tia had to endure at the hands of her husband in a Christian fundamentalist marriage. This is a crazy lifestyle as they practice domestic discipline and a wife being a submissive servant. Saying yes my lord to your husband. Her husband was barbaric. Raping her, telling her he hated her taste, her smell and fluids, and that her rebellion was a cock blocker. He was physically abusive.Thankfully she was able to move on and away from the church and her husband and a build a life for herself and her children. Thank you @macmillan.audio for the ALC #macaudio2024 PUB DATE FOR THIS IS AUGUST 6, 2024.

Wow! Just wow! This isn’t a happy story, it’s a story of grief, abuse and religious trauma. It’s real, raw, horrible and infuriating but our Author, Tia, is strong, smart and resilient. She endured so much in her life and has overcome so many obstacles to be a voice for women’s rights and women and children still in fundamentalist Christian communities. She sheds a light on what life in these extreme Christian communities looks like. And it isn’t pretty.
Tia Levings narrates her story and its emotional, impactful, and I immensely enjoyed it! I absolutely recommend the audio!
Thanks NetGalley for granting me this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Thanks to MacMillan Audio and NetGalley for the digital audiobook. I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Trigger Warnings: rape, domestic violence, graphic pornography description, animal deaths

While I thought the book was engaging and certainly worth the read, I had a hard time following the first portion of the book. Tia Levings just sort of jumps into the story mid-way through her childhood and didn’t do a very good job of explaining how her upbringing led her to the decision to marry her first husband. She was not personally religious and seemed to go through the motions for her parents, it seems, and in many ways had childhood experiences similar to many of us born around the same time (core Generation X.) Or maybe her subsequent experiences as a trad wife have colored her own memories, I don’t know, but I was utterly confused at how she ended up with the husband she did.

That’s not to discount the story Levings tells, not at all! Once she’s married, the story really picks up. The years and years of subjugation and abuse she suffered at the hands of her husband, and those of authority in the myriad of churches the family attended is telling. She found herself married young and having kid after kid in keeping with the Quiverfull movement. Any sort of personal freedoms she had as a young wife were slowly stripped away by her husband, and she just took it because 1) she thought she must be sinful and that’s why she was being punished and 2) she couldn’t see a way out to freedom with all her little ones.

Levings narrates her own book, and I found her voice powerful and strong as she recounted all the twisted and hurtful things she was taught in the name of Christianity. There are plenty of Christian families that don’t fit this narrative, that should be pointed out, but the author is shedding light on the insidious parts of extreme Christians. Would definitely recommend this audiobook.

Tia Levings’ memoir of her time in a Quiverfull marriage gives insight into a world that only someone who has lived and left is able to tell. Brought up in a strict Christian household, she married an abusive husband who hid behind religion to inflict abuse and control on her until she finally fled one night in fear of her life and the life of her children.

I do not believe this story is anti religion; I believe is it against those who take religion and distort it into something that allows for misogyny, abuse and hypocrisy. Tia’s husband seemed to suffer from mental illness and used religion as a means to control her (e.g. she was not allowed to vote, he was allowed to hit her so she would be submissive to him). I think a greater issue here was that Tia’s world was so insular that she did not feel she could turn for help outside her community, (e.g. her parents, the police) and when she finally spoke up within it, those in her church simply enabled her husband and told her she needed to be a better wife and mother. This was good as an audiobook since it is told in her voice.

I have watched the Shiny Happy People documentary and there was some overlap from that in testimonies from people who had left the community.

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan audio for the ARC to review

A Well-Trained Wife, My Escape from Christian Patriarchy by Tia Levings was an audiobook listen for me and I thought she did a great job narrating it. I gave this a 4 ⭐️ and was glad she shared her journey. She has survived terrible things and we’re heartbreaking. But having said that I thought this was more about an abusive marriage and not so much about the church. So if that’s what you’re looking for in this memoir you won’t find it here.
Thanks Macmillan Audio via NetGalley.

This is a memoir about a woman living in and eventually leaving evangelical Christianity. I followed a lot of the Christian "mommy blogs" back in their heydey in the early aughts as someone who found the whole phenomenon vaguely amusing while also not believing that these women's lives were being portrayed accurately. Turns out that I was both right and wrong: Tia states that one of her biggest jobs was keeping the image of her family clean, so a lot of the squeaky clean image was a veneer. But some things I thought were completely made up - like Biblical Discipline, where husbands would consensually spank their wives for disobedience and then afterward show them they still loved and appreciated them by making love - actually happened. I remember reading about it and thinking it must just have been an excuse to have some kinky sex, but apparently I was wrong.

The main point I took from this: Tia didn't start in a fundamentalist church, "just" an evangelical one, but the teachings in her more "moderate" church primed her to accept more and more extreme practices. This is an unflinching book, meaning that there are graphic depictions of SA and DV. I listened to this one, and the audiobook is read by the author. Her reading is more matter-of-fact than dramatic, but that serves to underscore the mundanity of her abuse rather than detract from its horror.

This objective review is based on a complimentary audiobook.

I have become a huge fan of audiobooks, specifically if it is autobiographical and read by the author. You can truly feel the pain and anguish throughout while Tia is reliving her story for us. It was so heartbreaking and eye opening to hear what growing up in a fundamentalist Christian culture was like, especially as the "obedient" female. The book did not just reflect on the trauma she endured, but was almost a lesson in how to put your children and self first and leave an abusive and dangerous situation. Thank you Tia for sharing your story it was powerful.

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the eARC.

There are absolutely no way I can summarize the impact of listening to Tia share her gut wrenching story. This book made me cry, audibly gasp, scream, and feel all the feelings. An absolute must read.

This was an incredible story of an amazing woman who overcame something very HUGE. I loved how she explained her therapy at the end of the book. She was authentic, vulnerable and relatable. Thank you for the awesome read. I have already purchased for my library and know that this is going to fly off the shelves!

This book was amazing. Tia told her own story in a way that was honest and raw while showing the reader hope. Tia told her story of growing up in fundamentalist christian religion that was high control and caused her doubt herself worth and put herself into unsafe situations. She suffered abuse and isolation by her husband and her churches. She shares private details in the book that show the reality of how she got trapped in a terrible situation and how she got out. I liked that the book focused on her experience during the trauma while also devoting a good portion of the book to how she got out, what it was like and how it was still complicated and required a lot of work on her own mental health. I think everyone should read this as a cautionary tale for high control religion.

A Well Trained Wife by Tia Levings
Narration: A
Content/Memoir: A
Best Aspect: Very real and very detailed account of the author’s life, mostly how she overcame and escaped abuse.
Worst Aspect: Upsetting in many parts, but it was her reality.
Recommend: Yes.

Thanks to NetGalley, and Macmillan Audio for an early audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

5 stars

Great book by Tia Levings about living in a fundamentalist Quiverfull life--basically obey your husband, be submissive, strict discipline of the kids. Her husband was volatile and physically and emotionally abusive and when Tia went to the elders for help, she was told to be a better wife; there is no rape in marriage; a husband can beat his wife. Geez.

Please make sure to listen/read the epilogue. I am going to relisten to it. Our democracy is in danger. Patriarchal fundamentalism is gaining power and that isn't the society I want to be a part of.

Excellent narration by the author.

This book was…an eye opener to say the least. I knew that there were darker sides to all religion, yet as a Christian myself…I was still shocked.

This woman was not only raised in an abusive and stifling environment, she spent most of her life in one as well. Her husband, although he seemed ok in the beginning, he wasn’t what he first appeared to be.

What I loved most about this story is not the eye opening effect it had, rather the story of desperation, resilience, bravery, and fortitude it portrayed, and how this amazing woman has begun to heal and recognize that what her life has been like so far, is not how life truly is. being religious does not mean you have to conform and suffer, in fact, you shouldn’t have to.

A Well-Trained Wife is a MUST-READ. What Tia Levings has been through is a level beyond tragedy, more than most people will ever endure or understand, all in the name of religion. Her brilliantly written, inspiring story is incredibly difficult to stomach, but a testimony that deserves to be amplified. As a mother myself, my heart broke several times over for the abuse she suffered and it's obvious that Tia's heart was always in the right place. Her strength, her candor, and the raw, often visceral realness of her story make this a book you will not want to put down.

I have wanted to read this book since I saw Tia Levings speak on Shiny Happy People, the Dugger documentary.
I am always fascinated (and distraught) by cults and overtly strict religious practices as it differs so wholly from my lifestyle and beliefs.

Let me preface this review by saying this was not an easy book to read. I found myself angry, saddened and in complete disbelief not only that this story happened, but happens to many others caught in religion.

While you do get glimpses of the fundamentalist religion and their way of living, this book touches more on Tia’s personal journey.
Having grown up in a religious world, marrying into an abusive and oppressive relationship and then continuously being told she’s the problem by the people surrounding her, Tia claws her way through and eventually out. She finds herself on the other side with several mental health disorders and learns to grieve the experiences she had and those she missed out on.

This book is a journey of one woman’s healing from religious trauma.
I think it’s important to read such stories to continue to fight the patriarchy and prevent their influences in society.

TW: animal abuse, domestic abuse, violent behavior, mental health disorders, sexual assault, oppressive themes, child loss

It was such a great choice to have the writer read this book. What a beautiful telling of such difficult circumstances. The chapter detailing the death of her daughter had me weeping in my car. Tia is a talented writer and storyteller.

While I recently read The Exvangelicals, this book hit very hard because of the immense abuse that the author suffers, and how it is all sanctioned by her church. Giving us a glimpse into the very patriarchal, misogynistic reformation church her husband followed, the author narrates her life of suffering but also the ways in which she found her little freedoms, finally realizing the necessity to leave the abusive marriage and church for her sake as well as the safety of her children.

Very well written important book, especially in light of the upcoming election and the ever present threat of Project 2025, I hope everyone will read this one.

"A Well-Trained Wife" is a heart-wrenching and powerful book. Tia Levings' writing and narration (in the audiobook) pulled me in as a reader/listener and I found that, while I did not grow up in the evangelical world that Tia did, I could not stop listening to her story. The book covers serious subject matters (rape, abuse, misogyny, religious trauma, etc) and Tia does not shy away from the details. There is so much truth and sadness in this story, yet Tia weaves it beautifully and in such a compelling way that you root for her and yearn to see how her story closes out. Fans of "Educated" and "The Sound of Gravel" will enjoy "A Well-Trained Wife" and I believe that so many people grappling with their own religious trauma would benefit from reading Tia's story.

Thank you Netgalley, Tia Levings and Macmillan Audio! I find it somewhat challenging to write a review of this book that won't be in some way taken as polarizing or anti-SOMETHING but let's give it a shot. First of all, To Tia Levings... you are brave and stronger than measure, you are a shining light emerging from the literal depths of hell on earth and it's incredible. To the publishing team who recognized the need for this book especially in a time like now, especially moments ahead of an election that will impact us for generations to come, especially in a day when social media glamorizes lifestyles that are wholesome and natural on the surface but riddled with abuse and brainwashing and chaos buried beyond the pretty pictures and reels. I say this all as a Christian, sure, but also as a woman, as a mother, as a wife, as a professional in a creative industry, as a progressive human living in a world that is very conflicted about what values should really matter, as a human. I cannot put into words how much rage I felt while listening to Tia's story, her life. I am thankful that I have always been given choice in terms of my religion - my mother never pushed, she let us make our own decisions as kids, choosing when and if we wanted to be confirmed and as an adult supported me when my family chose to leave the Catholic church for the more progressive and forward-thinking Methodist church that aligned more with our personal family values and put the emphasis more on being a good person than what would damn your soul to hell (I mean really what kind of life are you living if you're constantly fearing damnation?). I'm thankful for a husband who supports my choices professionally, personally and with regards to religion, a man who is an equal partner in our household responsibilities and our child-raising all while validating me and appreciating how hard I work to have a career and a voice. Tia didn't have that, she didn't have CHOICE... and at the end of the day because she lacked choice and she lacked support, not because her parents wouldn't support her, but because without choice, she had no ability to call for their support, not until a lifeline was thrown and she was able to plot and make her escape. All this to say, Tia Levings, by telling your story, you will change the world... maybe not for everyone, but I have no question that you will save a life, probably several.

This book is honest and raw. I enjoyed listening to the author's narration on the audiobook. The things she bears witness to need to be brought to light and begin discussions about religious freedom, women's rights, separation of church and state, and mental health. I appreciate this well-written and thoughtful contribution to the growing anti-fundie genre.