Thanks to NetGalley, and Macmillan Audio for an early audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

5 stars

Great book by Tia Levings about living in a fundamentalist Quiverfull life--basically obey your husband, be submissive, strict discipline of the kids. Her husband was volatile and physically and emotionally abusive and when Tia went to the elders for help, she was told to be a better wife; there is no rape in marriage; a husband can beat his wife. Geez.

Please make sure to listen/read the epilogue. I am going to relisten to it. Our democracy is in danger. Patriarchal fundamentalism is gaining power and that isn't the society I want to be a part of.

Excellent narration by the author.

This book was…an eye opener to say the least. I knew that there were darker sides to all religion, yet as a Christian myself…I was still shocked.

This woman was not only raised in an abusive and stifling environment, she spent most of her life in one as well. Her husband, although he seemed ok in the beginning, he wasn’t what he first appeared to be.

What I loved most about this story is not the eye opening effect it had, rather the story of desperation, resilience, bravery, and fortitude it portrayed, and how this amazing woman has begun to heal and recognize that what her life has been like so far, is not how life truly is. being religious does not mean you have to conform and suffer, in fact, you shouldn’t have to.

A Well-Trained Wife is a MUST-READ. What Tia Levings has been through is a level beyond tragedy, more than most people will ever endure or understand, all in the name of religion. Her brilliantly written, inspiring story is incredibly difficult to stomach, but a testimony that deserves to be amplified. As a mother myself, my heart broke several times over for the abuse she suffered and it's obvious that Tia's heart was always in the right place. Her strength, her candor, and the raw, often visceral realness of her story make this a book you will not want to put down.

I have wanted to read this book since I saw Tia Levings speak on Shiny Happy People, the Dugger documentary.
I am always fascinated (and distraught) by cults and overtly strict religious practices as it differs so wholly from my lifestyle and beliefs.

Let me preface this review by saying this was not an easy book to read. I found myself angry, saddened and in complete disbelief not only that this story happened, but happens to many others caught in religion.

While you do get glimpses of the fundamentalist religion and their way of living, this book touches more on Tia’s personal journey.
Having grown up in a religious world, marrying into an abusive and oppressive relationship and then continuously being told she’s the problem by the people surrounding her, Tia claws her way through and eventually out. She finds herself on the other side with several mental health disorders and learns to grieve the experiences she had and those she missed out on.

This book is a journey of one woman’s healing from religious trauma.
I think it’s important to read such stories to continue to fight the patriarchy and prevent their influences in society.

TW: animal abuse, domestic abuse, violent behavior, mental health disorders, sexual assault, oppressive themes, child loss

It was such a great choice to have the writer read this book. What a beautiful telling of such difficult circumstances. The chapter detailing the death of her daughter had me weeping in my car. Tia is a talented writer and storyteller.

While I recently read The Exvangelicals, this book hit very hard because of the immense abuse that the author suffers, and how it is all sanctioned by her church. Giving us a glimpse into the very patriarchal, misogynistic reformation church her husband followed, the author narrates her life of suffering but also the ways in which she found her little freedoms, finally realizing the necessity to leave the abusive marriage and church for her sake as well as the safety of her children.

Very well written important book, especially in light of the upcoming election and the ever present threat of Project 2025, I hope everyone will read this one.

"A Well-Trained Wife" is a heart-wrenching and powerful book. Tia Levings' writing and narration (in the audiobook) pulled me in as a reader/listener and I found that, while I did not grow up in the evangelical world that Tia did, I could not stop listening to her story. The book covers serious subject matters (rape, abuse, misogyny, religious trauma, etc) and Tia does not shy away from the details. There is so much truth and sadness in this story, yet Tia weaves it beautifully and in such a compelling way that you root for her and yearn to see how her story closes out. Fans of "Educated" and "The Sound of Gravel" will enjoy "A Well-Trained Wife" and I believe that so many people grappling with their own religious trauma would benefit from reading Tia's story.

Thank you Netgalley, Tia Levings and Macmillan Audio! I find it somewhat challenging to write a review of this book that won't be in some way taken as polarizing or anti-SOMETHING but let's give it a shot. First of all, To Tia Levings... you are brave and stronger than measure, you are a shining light emerging from the literal depths of hell on earth and it's incredible. To the publishing team who recognized the need for this book especially in a time like now, especially moments ahead of an election that will impact us for generations to come, especially in a day when social media glamorizes lifestyles that are wholesome and natural on the surface but riddled with abuse and brainwashing and chaos buried beyond the pretty pictures and reels. I say this all as a Christian, sure, but also as a woman, as a mother, as a wife, as a professional in a creative industry, as a progressive human living in a world that is very conflicted about what values should really matter, as a human. I cannot put into words how much rage I felt while listening to Tia's story, her life. I am thankful that I have always been given choice in terms of my religion - my mother never pushed, she let us make our own decisions as kids, choosing when and if we wanted to be confirmed and as an adult supported me when my family chose to leave the Catholic church for the more progressive and forward-thinking Methodist church that aligned more with our personal family values and put the emphasis more on being a good person than what would damn your soul to hell (I mean really what kind of life are you living if you're constantly fearing damnation?). I'm thankful for a husband who supports my choices professionally, personally and with regards to religion, a man who is an equal partner in our household responsibilities and our child-raising all while validating me and appreciating how hard I work to have a career and a voice. Tia didn't have that, she didn't have CHOICE... and at the end of the day because she lacked choice and she lacked support, not because her parents wouldn't support her, but because without choice, she had no ability to call for their support, not until a lifeline was thrown and she was able to plot and make her escape. All this to say, Tia Levings, by telling your story, you will change the world... maybe not for everyone, but I have no question that you will save a life, probably several.

This book is honest and raw. I enjoyed listening to the author's narration on the audiobook. The things she bears witness to need to be brought to light and begin discussions about religious freedom, women's rights, separation of church and state, and mental health. I appreciate this well-written and thoughtful contribution to the growing anti-fundie genre.

"Til death do we part could mean by his hand, but who cared?"

In this beautiful, poignant, vulnerable memoir, Tia Levings explores what it means to be a woman fulfilling a traditional role in patriarchal Christianity, and what eventually drove her to find her escape.

Content warnings:
Sexual assault/rape
assault and battery
severe misogyny
domestic violence
child abuse
child death
animal death

Though less conservative, I grew up akin to Tia Levings did--in a traditional, patriarchal, orthodox christian home. I also left the religion in which I was raised in my adulthood. This book is heavy, but deeply important. It is likely a painful read for most people, but it hit especially hard as someone who grew up so similarly to the author.

"The church sanctioned my suffering."


Although hard to read, it was also immensely relatable, validating, and gives an incredible opportunity for people who have never experienced this kind of life to look in through the window of this book and learn from her.

I have no complaints about this book. It was written with love, vulnerability, care. Tia Levings is a talented writer portraying a difficult subject with immense grace.

The audiobook is narrated by the author herself. She reads the memoir aloud with the perfect amount of emotion and flow. I was absorbed into her telling of her story much the same way I often am absorbed into novels.

An absolute must read.

Thank you, NetGalley and MacMillan audio for this advanced audiobook. This book was just WOW. I've watched Netflix's Keep Sweet, Pray and Obey and I'm familiar with the Duggars, but this book is the author's personal journey of how she was enticed into the Christian Fundamentalist lifestyle and ALL the good and bad she had to endure before she broke out. Let me tell you, she did not sugar-coat anything. I wanted to cry and riot while reading at what the author and what women are STILL living through believing in this. THIS IS WHAT OUR COUNTRY WANTS TO MOVE TOWARDS?! Thank you to this author for opening her life and sharing it with the world and the fact that she made it out alive.

Tia Levings’ A Well Trained Wife is as heartbreaking as it is beautiful. I was immediately drawn to the cover and title as it looked like something I would enjoy in a novel. Then seeing the tagline and that it is non-fiction and narrated by the author (one of the things I love most when I look at memoirs) I was hooked on listening even more.

While I do consider celebrity memoirs to be one of my guilty pleasures, I don’t usually read a lot of memoirs or biographies outside of that.

I am glad that this cover, and title appealed to me—I have often wondered how certain things happens with politics in the US—I’ve often wondered at that silent majority that carried the vote and how so many women could ignore certain statements. Tia’s book gives a perspective into a world I can’t fathom or understand.

Great book, though readers with sensitivities should proceed with caution there is a lot of content that can be triggering that you would expect based on the synopsis and other content you wouldn’t necessarily expect.

Tia did a fantastic job with the audio narration.

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for an early audiobook edition of “The Well-Trained Wife” by Tia Levings, narrated by the author for an honest review of her story.

Tia told her story of being brainwashed by religion. Her mom pushed her to religion after moving to Florida. Tia interpreted the religious message differently than others. Tia felt that to be a good Christian, she had to put all her effort to following scripture and finding a husband. At the end of the book, Tia admits, that her sister did not experience that initial religious experience in the same way she Tia did.
In her effort to find the perfect husband, I interpreted that she accepted the first man who accepted her. marrying him even after the pastor told them they were incompatible. In her effort to be the perfect wife, she was pushed into more and more zealous religious ideals. These ideals included being a submissive wife, with strict behavioral discipline for both the wife and the children to behave the way the husband dictated, regardless of the extremeness of the husband’s requests. This discipline included physical abuse and severe restrictions on her and the children’s mobility. (Think of any domestic violence scenario you have ever read about or experienced yourself.)

This is a disturbing story, but one that needs to be told. This real-life story will scare the XXXX out of you if you are watching the presidential election and the activities of the current Supreme Court, which includes at least one individual who believes in this extreme cultist religious behavior. I fear where this country is going with these cultist individuals getting high authority positions that are starting to control what we as a country can and cannot do.

Tia, your timing is phenomenal, I just hope enough people can read your story before November.

Moving and well-written, and well-narrated by the author. It made me realize I‘ve come to expect memoirs from those who‘ve left (or at least are critiquing) Evangelical/fundamentalist cultures to also be deep dives into the specifics of those cultures and their institutions. This really isn‘t that, and of course that is 100% okay. It‘s her story to tell exactly as she wanted to, and I admire her openness about the many challenges she's faced.

This book is a fantastic, searing, and deeply personal addition to the growing body of work exploring the lives of women in the evangelical world. Through her own life experiences, the author shows the complex experience inside this movement and why it is a danger to larger society

This is such a powerful memoir, and I love that Tia Levings narrates it herself. This memoir maps out her life growing up in an extreme and intense religious environment and how that affected her life. I think this memoir is one that a lot of people can relate to, even if they aren't of the same faith, what she experiences is something that many people can face in different situations. Levings' raw and vulnerable storytelling really helps the reader relate to her and find community in her book because it reminds us that we aren't alone. I think Levings' story is brave, approachable, well-constructed, and emotional, which are all aspects of a great memoir that people can learn and find community. This was a great memoir and I highly recommend it

Tia was raised to be a good Christian which meant being raised to be a good wife—one who submits to her husband—blaming herself for the wrong-doings of Christian men.

Levings lays it all out in this memoir. I was often baffled but never surprised about the ways her Christian upbringing groomed her for her role of the perfect wife. She brings readers through her childhood at the church, through her confusing teenage years, and in to early adulthood where she continued to follow the church’s teachings but grew ever more skeptical. As she was taught, she married young to an angry, Christian man who promised to “train” her properly. The relationship is toxic and abusive from the start and Levings peels back the curtain to let readers see it all.

“Maybe there wasn’t a savior coming. It was up to me to save me.”

This memoir is unflinchingly honest and often times, it was difficult to listen to. Trigger warnings for domestic abuse and marital rape (which apparently isn’t a thing, by the way). It’s a powerful story that is guaranteed to infuriate and move readers. While Levings’s story is full of moments to rage against, she includes her escape from her marriage, her recovery, and her reinvention of her life which was a nice note to end on.

I appreciated Levings as the narrator because I always enjoy when authors read their own stories.

Thank you Macmillan Audio and NetGalley for the audiobook in exchange for an honest review. Available 08/06/2024!

Wow, it feels weird to say I how wonderful a book like this is due to the content but it’s outstanding.

I am so thankful to have gotten the audio ARC for free from Netgalley and MacMillan Audio so I can leave my voluntary and honest review.

The story is hard to listen to but Levings has such a talent to given difficult information while keeping the reader engaged.
I listened to the audio book which can be hit or miss when it’s a memoire as writing and narrating are different skill sets.

However, Levings does a great job. She stays fairly neutral and flat throughout but for this purpose it works very well.
She does speak slowly but it was easily corrected by speeding up the recording to 1.25x and you still easily heard the story. Sometimes at that speed it was been too fast where you miss things but that’s not the case here.

Listening to this life unfold makes a person feel so uncomfortable to know that this is actual real life for many women and children across the US. But despite how maddening it can be the prose keeps you wanting to know more and to keep listening (or reading).

I highly suggest putting this book on your TBR for August 2024 even if the topic isn’t a personal interest to you.

My rating system since GoodReads doesn’t have partial stars and I rarely round up.

⭐️ Hated it
⭐️⭐️ Had a lot of trouble, prose issues, really not my cup of tea (potentially DNF’d or thought about it)
⭐️⭐️⭐️ Meh, it was an ok read but nothing special
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Really enjoyed it! Would recommend to others
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Outstanding! Will circle back and read again

I could not put it down. By the end, any person who has trouble putting themselves first, anyone with a diminished sense of self or in any unequal relationship will feel stronger. This book is a gift to the world.

https://www.instagram.com/p/C8ibWHNRckh/?igsh=cmx0ZmJuMjJ0bmp1

Same review on FB and Threads. Similar on Weight Watchers Connect.

Wow! What a courageous and brave woman. I couldn’t put this down and had to constantly remind myself this isn’t fiction. This happened to her and is happening to many others like her right now. With “trans wives” being a thing right now, this book is all the more important. Thank you!