This book began on a heartbreaking note, but one that set the tone for the vulnerability that was to come. It was really fascinating to look at chronic illness and well-being in general through the lens of generational trauma. The book was at times deeply sorrowful, hopeful, informative, and moving - much like the many facets of life that Graham encourages readers to acknowledge and explore. I’ve read a lot of nonfiction on chronic illness but this one definitely stood out within the genre, in large part to how to the author merged introspective vulnerability and factual research.

Being (Sick) Enough by Jessica Graham is a powerful and deeply insightful collection of essays that offers a raw, honest exploration of living with trauma, chronic illness, and the complexities of being human in today’s world. As a queer, neurodivergent trauma-resolution guide, Graham blends personal anecdotes with practical wisdom, providing readers with a compassionate and unflinching look at the realities of navigating pain, addiction, recovery, and grief.

Graham’s writing is smart, funny, and profoundly relatable, offering permission to accept care and the vulnerability that comes with it. They dismantle harmful ableist ideas like “you don’t look sick” and “we’re all a little ADHD,” while sharing their own vulnerable history of childhood trauma, workaholism, and addiction. Through these stories, they offer a refreshing perspective on healing, centering sex and pleasure, and how to avoid falling into the traps of self-blame or toxic positivity.

This memoir is a love letter to the whole self, embracing both the suffering and the joys of life. It’s a wise and fearless exploration of what it means to be fully alive and present, even in the face of pain and difficulty. Being (Sick) Enough is an essential read for anyone navigating the challenges of chronic illness or trauma, offering both solace and inspiration for those seeking a more authentic, mindful approach to healing.

Read more at The Secret Book Review.

A raw, honest, and deeply introspective exploration of living with chronic illness and the emotional and psychological toll it takes. Through her personal narrative, Graham weaves together moments of vulnerability, strength, and acceptance, shedding light on the complexities of navigating a world that often doesn't understand what it means to be truly sick. With compassion and grace, she challenges societal expectations of what "enough" means, especially when illness is part of the equation. This book is not just a story of surviving—it’s about learning to thrive, redefine self-worth, and embrace the fullness of life, no matter the circumstances. Being (Sick) Enough is an empowering, thought-provoking read that will resonate with anyone who has struggled with health challenges and the pressure to meet societal standards. It’s a celebration of resilience and self-compassion in the face of ongoing adversity.

Memoir about childhood trauma, multiple illnesses and diagnoses and how meditation has helped one person with acceptance. The author is non-binary and has been diagnosed as autistic and with ADHD. They also suffer from numerous physical conditions ranging from degenerative disc disease, fibromyalgia, anorexia, migraines and other debilitating conditions. The author links these conditions with childhood trauma where they dealt with a depressed and abusive mother and an alcoholic father who treated them like his best friend instead of child.

Each chapter talks about a different challenge in the author's life and how various healing modalities helped them to accept their conditions and build a life that makes them happy. There is a lot of graphic talk here both about medical conditions and also the author's sex life and while I appreciate the candor of Graham, I think at times it was a little too much to read about. As a chronic pain patient myself (and a fellow spoonie), I did appreciate the author's discussion on only having so much energy to do things and the need to scale down even if you feel like you can push it. The author also talks about religion and meditation and the various healers that have helped them in many different ways. Graham does acknowledge their privilege and the fact they can do things like experiment with different types of healing specialists, go on meditative retreats and go to many different doctors. I applaud the author for being very honest even though family members might not like everything being in the open and for being optimistic about the future. The author is also dedicated in providing counseling to those who need to work through their own complex trauma. I learned some things reading this book. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a copy of this ARC in exchange for a review.

Thank you to the publisher and to Net Galley for the opportunity. My review opinions are my own.

The author's focus here is non binary and trauma based healing as a neuro divergent person, It was her life story and a map of how she used different modalities to heal her childhood trauma. Unfortunately for me it did not resonate and was not helpful to me as I cannot relate. The author admits in the book she has many privileges many do not which made it impossible for this reader to relate to her. I found it difficult to finish. ,

I went into this book expecting a much bigger emphasis on the author's ADHD and autism, and how those aspects of their person created a lens for their experiences. However, ADHD and autism are only part of a list of themes promised on the back cover. Chronic illness and the author's relationship with their parents felt like the core of the story, with queerness and neurodivergence playing supporting roles.

With this in mind, I especially appreciated the author's vulnerability and perspective when telling the story of their family and childhood. They love their parents deeply, and felt a particularly strong bond with their father, and yet they acknowledge these people also hurt them deeply. Their parents were unequipped to be the safe, adult presence they needed. In a world where black-and-white thinking often rules the day, this nuance is refreshing. Graham gives us permission to feel conflicted about our parents and our childhood. They model a commitment to healing and creating healthy boundaries without insisting on a binary choice between estrangement and unconditional acceptance or forgiveness.

Graham's view of their own body-mind connection is fascinating as well. While our physical and mental health are not completely intertwined, Graham shows us how critical it can be for chronically ill people to prioritize themselves and get out of emotionally unhealthy situations. No, being in a toxic relationship, or just having some adverse childhood events in your history, won't necessarily create sickness or injury in your body (though it could). However, it is unhealthy to be in a situation that prevents your nervous system from achieving any real calm. If you're already chronically ill, it can be debilitating. Graham sets an example for many when they make healthy boundaries, relationships, and living situations part of their strategy to regain physical health.

The biggest distraction for me in this book, besides a loss of steam toward the end that feels commonplace to the genre, was how Graham sometimes seemed timid about discussing their past traumas and struggles to get healthy. I see this a lot in certain categories of personal experience writing. The inclination is understandable, as I myself have been criticized for privilege evident in my personal experience writing. However, Graham's need to remind the reader multiple times that they are aware things *could* have been worse for them, that they surely would've had a taller hill to climb had they been born more poor and less white, pulled me out of the reading experience. Yes, it is tremendously privileged to be able to attend a weeks-long meditation retreat. I even appreciate the author saying so. I just think this is more appropriate in context, when talking about the meditation retreat, and maybe making it more clear how the author managed to go to said retreat (they appear not to be particularly wealthy or well-connected). Placed at the beginning of the book as a broad disclaimer, Graham's calling out of their own privilege invalidates their experience in a way I think is unfair. Just because other people suffer more, does not mean an author's story lacks inherent value. While I do think some pieces of Graham's story benefit from an acknowledgement of privilege, it could be done in a way that demonstrates self-awareness without questioning the premise.

Increasingly excited about this release because as a chronically ill therapist and writer, I could not recognize my experience more fluidly in the pages. I plan to bring this book to larger scale meetings and sessions in the mental health world when it is on shelves in January. I can't wait to discuss the topics with those in the spoonie community as we evaluate what "sick" means in each of our unique worlds. I crave so much more literature on these topics, and each time I find a bite of something relatable and validating, I savor it for months.

“This culture isn’t built for the chronically ill or disabled, and we are given the message that we don’t belong”

Being Sick Enough covers a multitude of neurodivergent and trauma based problems. Topics like generational trauma, inherited PTSD, eating disorders, alcoholism, drug abuse, abortion, C-PTSD, ADHD, autism and Fibromyalgia.

The author tells us her story and her journey from forgiveness to acceptance in all aspects of her life from her illnesses, to her relationships.

She is open, honest and frank about her childhood and what it’s like to live with co morbid health issues as an adult.

“We must do our own research to find relief because of all the medical gaslighting, and the limitations of our healthcare system”

I really enjoyed the Spoons analogy, it’s something that very much resonated with me. I also found her forgiveness to her mother extremely brave and touching. And the “It’s like this right now” chapter was thought provoking.

The author highlights how important diagnoses are and the enlightening impact that “knowing” can have. It’s something I also strongly believe in.

“Knowing that I am autistic doesn’t solve every challenge that arises, but understanding this about myself has decreased many challenges and increased my well-being… How different my life might have been if I had this information earlier”

I gained some insight, and some empathy, reading this. Thank you for sharing your story.

Many thanks to NetGalley and North Atlantic Books for my advanced copy.

Packed with interesting and important reflections, the goods were there but the packaging felt all wrong for me. I started and stopped this many times because I struggled to stay connected with the storytelling and the overall flow of the narrative. There is a lot of good to be found within these pages but the reader will need some patience to find it.

I was really looking forward to reading this being chronically ill myself, but I just couldn't get through it.

Now this may be in part the formatting of the review copy, or maybe it's just me, but the memory/flashbacks and jumping back and forth to present are just not done well. It's not the end of the world but it does take away from the overall reading experience. Had this been the only problem, it could have easily been overlooked.

The writing is what made me give up on this book, it's just not for me. The prose is trying way too hard most of the time and otherwise reads like it was written for a homework assignment. It's unfortunately just not at the writing level it needs to be, at least not at this level of editing.

3.5 rounded down.

Ultimately I think it's good material but the wrong format. Jessica Graham, who identifies as non-binary, has gone through a lot of hardship, trauma and illness, and has spent years trying to feel better or to numb the pain. They have strong spiritual beliefs, but the book doesn't come across as preachy, actually quite the opposite. They write a lot about their own privilege, they are Christian now but support LGBTQ+ rights and are very sex-positive, they just seem like a lovely and compassionate person. I'd love to have a coffee or a drink with them. But I think the short chapters felt a bit disorganised at times and in a way, would have been better served by a different format, maybe a self-help book rather than a memoir. Or a podcast.

Free ARC sent by Netgalley.

I am not sure if there is going to be an introduction or prologue in the final version, but I'm assuming there will be. That wasn't present in my copy and I was very confused., The first thing was a poem and then boom we were in an essay and I had no context for what the book was supposed to bring me. I like a lot of the points made here, but the packaging and format were not the most user friendly.

Reading this book made me really feel her feelings as she writes this compelling read. I would recommend to anyone looking for a thought provoking book.

I was really keen to read this book as someone who also suffers with chronic illness and mental health issues. I found it to be a very difficult read in places as the author doesn't shy away from the awful traumatic things that have happened to her (and to the previous generation of her family) but I applaud her for confronting these things and for being so honest. There are some things in this book that were triggering to my own PTSD so I had to skip over those essays a little bit but that is no fault of the book. The part I found most enlightening was the chapter that talked about gold linings rather than silver, and post-traumatic growth. It really struck a chord with me and will be something I mull over as I begin to work on my own traumas. This is a difficult read but it's a very honest book and I would recommend it to people who people who want to understand more about how trauma affects us and how it can cause other mental and physical problems.

Thank you to the author, the publisher and NetGalley for the chance to review this ARC!

Being (sick) enough by Jessica Graham is a thought-provoking exploration of health and identity that really resonates. Graham's candid writing style draws you in, making you feel the weight of her experiences. The themes of vulnerability and resilience are beautifully portrayed, and there are moments that truly shine. However, while the insights are valuable, the pacing can feel uneven at times, which might leave some readers wanting more depth in certain areas. Overall, it's an engaging read with plenty of heart, but it could use a bit more polish. 3 stars!

This book was fascinating, and I am so glad that women's narratives of illness and not being believed by the medical establishment are coming into the forefront of mainstream publishing. This book demands our attention.

I really wanted to like this book but had difficulty relating to Jessica's chronic illnesses. The beginning seemed very scattered, almost as if the author wasn't sure how she wanted to tell her story.

As a writer myself, I am always touched by the intense courage it takes to write about one's pain and trauma. Unfortunately, some of the book felt too gauche. I was, however, able to understand the frustration the author encountered with her doctors. I've been on that end and it's incredibly rough how thoughtless doctors can be.

Not for the faint of heart, but tenderly portrayed in heartrending prose with an enlightening perspective, Jessica Graham lays herself out vulnerably bare in Being (Sick) Enough: Thoughts On Invisible Illness, Childhood Trauma and Living Well When Surviving is Hard. An autobiographical account of the author’s traumatic childhood and challenging life experiences, including chronic illness and neurodivergence, Graham’s tone is wise and learned, sensitive, empathetic and compassionate. With many components of my life mirroring those of Graham’s, this book resonated deeply with me and reflects much of my own path and experiences. I highly recommend this deeply honest and sensitive book.


Thank you to NetGalley, Author and Publisher for access to an Advance Reader’s Copy. All opinions are my own.

Being (Sick) Enough, by Jessica Graham
Rating: 3/5
Published: 14 Jan 2025
This book is a triumph, and there were many parts that resonated with me deeply. Graham’s thoughts on invisible illness, childhood trauma and living well are emotional, but also empowering. I loved the sections where she explored forgiveness and family, and she approaches illness with a tentative and respectful touch, but I did find that she could have delved deeper. Despite that, it is still an exceptionally powerful book, and will provide comfort to a lot of people, myself included.

Jessica Graham's *Being Sick Enough* is a candid and insightful exploration of the complexities surrounding illness, mental health, and the often unspoken struggles individuals face while navigating both personal and systemic challenges. With raw honesty, Graham offers readers a glimpse into the inner world of those grappling with chronic illness, detailing the emotional, physical, and psychological toll it can take on one's sense of identity and self-worth.

The strength of the book lies in Graham's ability to articulate the nuanced, often conflicting feelings of "being sick enough" — a concept that resonates deeply with those who have ever questioned the validity of their suffering. The author's vulnerability shines through as she weaves her own experiences with broader reflections on how society, the medical system, and even loved ones can sometimes unintentionally minimize or misunderstand the gravity of invisible illnesses.

While the book is emotionally powerful, at times, the narrative can feel repetitive, as certain themes are revisited frequently. However, this repetition may also serve as a reflection of the cyclical nature of living with chronic illness — an experience that doesn't have a clear beginning, middle, or end.

Overall, *Being Sick Enough* is a poignant and necessary read for anyone seeking to better understand the realities of chronic illness, both from a personal and societal standpoint. Graham's honesty is both inspiring and heartbreaking, making this a valuable contribution to conversations about health, identity, and validation.