Beautiful written, Rebecca Watson has created another hard-hitting but deeply fantastic novel.
Thank you to the publisher and netgalley for an early reading copy.

Rosa has been estranged from her brother for six years when he shows up and she shuts the door on him. A week later her brother is dead.

A unusual writing style…long spaces and text on either side of the page. I didn’t mind this experimental style too much.

Intense and thought provoking.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC

Having loved Little Scratch, I was very excited about this book, and it did not disappoint- Rebecca Watson once again uses the format of the novel to explore and find new forms. In this book, the broken-ness of the text on the page allows her to tell the heartbreaking story of a sister mourning her brother, and trying to get her thoughts into order once again.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced copy of this book, in exchange for an honest review.

This feels like the final boss of stream of consciousness novels. It is experimental in style, just as the author’s first book Little Scratch was.

Rosa has been estranged from her brother for a number of years. One day he shows up at her door and she turns him away. A few weeks later he dies in a car crash.

I think the fragmented prose lends itself extremely well to Rosa’s jumbled feelings around her brother and his death. She recounts their childhood and honestly he sounds terrible? So her desire to cut off contact makes a lot of sense. As does her grief.

Rosa clearly has a lot of unresolved trauma from her upbringing, largely owing to her brother but also her parents who just never believed he was abusive towards her. Very boys will be boys.

A really well done exploration of grief and the many forms it can take.

As seems to be Watson’s ongoing style, this is a small text with an awful lot of emotional and physical hurt squeezed in. The story of Rosa’s grief for her estranged brother, as well as her trauma both related and unrelated to their relationship, is told in fragments which make the confusing nature of these emotions all the more obvious. Not an easy read but an interesting one.

I Will Crash by Rebecca Watson explores difficult family dynamics and relationships and how that complicates an experience of bereavement.

Watson’s previous book, Little Scratch, was a hit for me, so there was no hesitation in requesting an ARC of I Will Crash. All the descriptions (stream of consciousness, ellipsis, fragmentary, innovative, experimental) should be a turn-off; however, Watson’s style works for me.
The style and themes here are similar to those in Little Scratch: abuse, trauma, bullying, grief, family dynamics; though they are perhaps more developed here. The mundanity of the trauma makes both of Watson’s novels and narrators highly relatable.
I find it difficult to express how this book made me feel and why, so I’ll just say I hope to see a Booker nomination this month, and I’ll be first in line for Watson’s next offering.
Thanks, NetGalley and Faber & Faber, for this ARC.

I Will Crash is an emotional read, written in Watson's signature style subverting the standard text format that you'd expect from a novel.
I love the way the text is scattered across the page, whilst it looks random I find that it actually makes my reading experience smoother and more immersive, and representative of the way my inner monologue runs in my head.
Rosa hasn't had a relationship with her brother for six years. When tragic news strikes, she is faced with emotional turmoil. Watson examines the intricacies of grief, sibling relationships and forgiveness so effortlessly and thoroughly, despite somehow keeping to very short sentences and minim descriptive language. I am in awe of Watson's talent for writing and eagerly await more novels from her in the future! I will be recommending this highly.

'I Will Crash' is Rebecca Watson's sophomore novel after her highly inventive Goldsmiths Prize nominated 'little scratch'.

Describing this novel as a work in progress at the time of her debut she said: "Loosely, it starts when the protagonist/narrator’s brother dies, and she has a very complicated relationship with her brother. Then from this, a lot of things unravel. Her sense of herself, her past, her trust of her own memories shift. It’s set over five days from the death of the brother as she seeks to restore control over who she is and what her past has been."

'I Will Crash' is narrated by Rosa and opens with a scene set 6 weeks before her 2-year-older brother's death, aged 30, when, the two having not spoken for 6 years, he knocks on her door out of the blue, wanting to speak to her, but she refuses to speak to him and closes the door.

It then moves forward to her receiving a call from her father, informing her that her brother (in his early 30s) has died in a car crash, a call which triggers a memory of the two of them driving together, when, asking for the phone number of one of her best friend at school, Alice, he threatened to crash the car if she didn't comply.

The broken style of the prose is remiscent of that in 'little scratch', but doing something differently - let description of the day to day interior thoughts, and more her own parallel commentary, as she processes her thoughts on what has happened, the novel alternating between present and past tenses, over the 5 days that follow the call, and the reasons why she refused to speak to her brother.

We learn that he was abusive to her when they were younger, although in a low-key, continuous way that she finds hard to explain or evidence to her parents at the time, to her partner now, and indeed to her brother himself, whose gaslighting extends to a take he gave to his own partner that he had visited Rosa to allow her to apologise to him.

There is an interesting difference to 'little scratch', whereby in the earlier novel, the narrator has hidden trauma (that she had been raped by her boss) that she had not shared with anyone, including her partner. Here Rosa has shared her story but to an non-comprehending audience. As Watson explained in the interview above: "In the novel I’m writing at the moment I’m trying to resist the unsaid, and to make the narrator express things and to see the effects that those moments of confession elicit." And everyone, including Rosa herself, rather avoids discussion of the terrible fate that befell Alice after she became her brother's boyfriend, and their friendship ended.

And a key theme is the way the lines that she has carefully constructed around her life and her story break down.

Another impressive novel from one of our most interesting novelists - another Goldsmiths nomination must be a strong possibility, but this time a Booker nod must also beckon. 4.5 stars.

Thanks to the publisher via Netgalley for the ARC.

Rebecca Watson's debut novel, Little Scratch from 2021, was incredibly well received, meaning expectation for her follow-on is high. Let me begin by saying if you loved that novel, then I Will Crash will equally excite you and leave you will the same breathless feeling Little Scratch did. This is bravura writing, it's short sharp sentences, strewn across the page startling. It is a mix of stream of consciousness, memory and emotion. It is never less than stunning.

Rosa, an English graduate, is visited by her brother, and slams the door in his face. A few months later he is dead. Over the next few days Rosa recalls his life and its pervasive, menacing hold over her. To tell more would spoil the impact of this novel.

I Will Crash, then, comes highly recommended and is easily one of my favourite novels of the year. Thank you to the publishers and Netgalley for the ARC.

I will crash. A phrase full of meaning that sets the premise of this brilliant piece of literary fiction. “I Will Crash” is Rebecca Watson’s second novel – how did I miss the first? – exploring aspects of grief, gaslighting, bullying, and much more. I came upon this book by chance and couldn’t be more grateful for it. This is a gripping novel that explores grief through the mind of Rosa during the few days following the death of her older brother. Rebecca Watson writes with such empathy. “I Will Crash” has one of the best introspective dialogues I have read. I particularly adored Rosa’s relationship with her boyfriend and how it is portrayed throughout the novel.

The writing has a fragmented style, with blank spaces between sentences and paragraphs, and punctuation that you might find confusing at first; however, this “experimental” style adds an extra layer to the reading experience. I would describe it as watching a 3D movie. The characters are well-developed, each contributing significantly to the narrative, and no word is wasted (repetitions or not). The plot is intricately structured, with steady pacing that kept me engaged from start to finish. As the narrative unfolds, you are taken on a journey through Rosa’s past and present, immersed in her thoughts and struggles, revealing the psychological and emotional battles she faces. The subtlety and duality of each incident make her a compelling and relatable protagonist.

The book is intense and thought-provoking, which can leave you overwhelmed at times – I surely was. It combines elements of psychological thriller, poetry, and contemporary fiction, providing a unique and engaging reading experience. It is a powerful read that left a lasting impression on me. The story's intensity and the protagonist's journey resonated with me in ways I did not expect.

Overall, “I Will Crash” by Rebecca Watson is a remarkable novel that offers a deep and compelling narrative. Watson's ability to delve into complex themes and present them through relatable characters makes this book a standout. I highly recommend it to readers who enjoy a more challenging read. “I Will Crash” is a must-read for those who appreciate a well-crafted story that explores the depths of the human mind and emotions. Watson's exceptional writing and insightful storytelling make this novel a standout in its genre.

Many thanks to Faber & Faber and NetGalley for the eARC.

4,5
If you liked ‘Little Scratch,’ you’ll probably like ‘I Will Crash’ as well. They have the same wonderful fragmentary structure that draws you in, phrases that suggest rather than tell all. This is exquisite and profound, in style, thought and theme. Absolutely brilliant.
Thank you Faber & Faber and Netgalley UK for the ARC.

I Will Crash is Rosa’s story. She last saw her brother six years ago, and when Rosa receives some news, her memories start to unfold.
Who is he? What is ‘now’? What are memories?
Rosa finds herself reflecting on the past and open herself up to her partner.
This was a nearly perfect read for me. I know someone in real life (or, thinking about it, a few people) who had similar relationships with their siblings and families as in Rosa’s story. I found the story honest, authentic, truthful, profound and life-affirming.
What stood out for me was Watson’s unique style of writing; the verses, the poetry-reminiscent prose, the rhythm, the easy of getting the reader into the character’s consciousness. If we had an MRI or EEG like machine to translate one’s thoughts, the fleeting words in their mind, it would be very much like the pacing and style in this book. 5*** stars for that. This style is one of my most favourite styles and yet Watson’s touch is her own.
Some of the themes in this book are a bit bleak and challenging - in a good way.
Kudos to Watson for tackling them with such mastery and sensitivity.
Also for sustaining the style till the very end.
This was overall a 4.5 stars read for me. The -0.5 is due to the ending and the styles very minor limitations to unfold all of the layers in Rosa’s story. I missed the clarity of a few fully spelled out, descriptive paragraphs, but this is negligible and subjective.
Thank you, #netgalley and #faberandfaber for the ARC. You have given me a new favourite writer and a sophisticated summer read to enjoy inbetween my own I Will Crash is Rosa’s story. She last saw her brother six years ago, and when Rosa receives some news, her memories start to unfold.
Who is he? What is ‘now’? What are memories?
Rosa finds herself reflecting on the past and open herself up to her partner.
This was a nearly perfect read for me. I know someone in real life (or, thinking about it, a few people) who had similar relationships with their siblings and families as in Rosa’s story. I found the story honest, authentic, truthful, profound and life-affirming.
What stood out for me was Watson’s unique style of writing; the verses, the poetry-reminiscent prose, the rhythm, the easy of getting the reader into the character’s consciousness. If we had an MRI or EEG like machine to translate one’s thoughts, the fleeting words in their mind, it would be very much like the pacing and style in this book. 5*** stars for that. This style is one of my most favourite styles and yet Watson’s touch is her own.
Some of the themes in this book are a bit bleak and challenging - in a good way.
Kudos to Watson for tackling them with such mastery and sensitivity.
Also for sustaining the style till the very end.
This was overall a 4.5 stars read for me. The -0.5 is due to the ending and the styles very minor limitations to unfold all of the layers in Rosa’s story. I missed the clarity of a few fully spelled out, descriptive paragraphs, but this is negligible and subjective.
Thank you, #netgalley and #faberandfaber for the ARC. You have given me a new favourite writer and a sophisticated read to enjoy when I’m not writing myself.

I Will Crash was a total winner for me. Rosa has been estranged from her brother for six years when he unexpectedly shows up on her doorstep. She more or less shuts the door in his face. Six weeks later, her father calls to say that her brother has died in a car accident. The novel follows Rosa for the next five days as she deals with her mixed feelings about his death, the memories of her brother but also of her parents and a childhood friend which keep flooding back, and her questioning of whether or not her memories are true and her feelings valid, especially once she discovers another side of her brother. I really enjoyed the themes that this novel explored, particularly trauma, toxic masculinity, dysfunctional families, gaslighting, and the reliability of memory. The short time frame works well since it focuses attention on the immediate aftermath of her brother's death when Rosa's emotions would have been at their strongest. But where this book really shone for me was its unique and experimental format, which in many places veers much closer to poetry than prose. It's fragmentary in nature with a fair amount of repetition, which convincingly depicts the tumult and whirling of Rosa's thoughts and emotions. It moves between the present and the past as Rosa remembers pivotal events that continue to impact her. The text is laid out in varying ways, with italics, capitals, and bolding all used to draw the reader's attention. The unique and experimental format means the reader needs to pay care and attention, but this is not a difficult book to read or understand. Rather, it is one where the format is integral to the storytelling, effectively conveying Rosa's thoughts and feelings and immersing the reader in the present day impact of her past trauma. It's a book that made me think and feel - If the parents had paid more attention, not minimised Rosa's complaints and taken action, could they have spared her from trauma and might brother and sister have reconciled? How much of the brother Rosa knew was in the man his girlfriend loved? Could I have messed up and minimised, missed, or ignored things the way Rosa's parents did?

Many thanks to @netgalley and @faberbooks for providing me with the eArc.

Rebecca Watson’s debut novel “Little Scratch” was one of my favourite novels of 2021 – and went on to be shortlisted for the Desmond Elliott Prize for debut novels and, as I had hoped, the Goldsmith Prize (for fiction that breaks the mould or extends the possibilities of the novel form).

It was a novel which I not just read but listened to on Audio Book (one of only a handful of novels I have used that form – the other main ones including other voice driven novels “Lincoln in the Bardo” and “A Girl Is A Half Formed Thing”) and attended an excellent stage version. In content and theme it was set over a single day, the internal monologue of a assistant journalist on an international newspaper as she comes to terms with being raped by her boss – a trauma that she very much internalises (not confronting her boss, not sharing with colleagues or her boyfriend). In form it relied heavily on typography with intersecting, sometimes parallel sometimes interleaved, series of thoughts but also WhatsApp exchanges, emails, Trip Advisor reviews, conversations – all rendered in everyday language.

This her second novel is I would say very much in the same overall sense: about female trauma in the face of male assault and written in a fragmentary style strewn across the pages.

Unlike the first it takes place over a few days (rather than a single one) and unlike that novel is has far more flashbacks and reflections on past events so intermingling present and past tense.

If there is a difference I would say that it relates to the narrator actually speaking some of her trauma and secrets and having to deal with the outcome of that – so a novel written less in the silences.

Rosa, an English graduate, works as a reading assistant at a school and lives with her boyfriend John (an academic studying Gertrude Stein). In the book’s opening prologue, she is unexpectedly visited by her brother who she has not seen for 6 years, and effectively shuts the door in his face. Now only a few months later her father (her mother having left the family years previously and remarried) calls her to tell her, her brother has died in a car accident, and immediately Rosa remembers an incident from her youth when he threatened (with clear intent) to crash the car he was driving her in unless she gave him the phone number of her best friend Alice.

From there we learn of her very difficult relationship with her very troubled brother, who during their childhood and teenage years, kept up a stream of abusive behaviour to her – often small, always deniable but cumulatively hugely impactful acts of violence and sabotage with even a sexual undercurrent. Although the term is not used there is a strong sense of gaslighting in how her brother turns her reaction to his actions back on to being her issue rather than his (not least when he provokes her into one act of brief retribution which leaves a more indelible physical trace than the mental scars his actions leave behind).

These effectively ruined her childhood – not least as she was unable to feel safe in her home. And when she left home for University how she precipitated a complete break with him. We also learn of how that played out in her (and later his) relationship with Alice, as well as learning more about her relationship with her Mum (and stepdad) and Dad – both of who think she has overreacted to what they see as a more conventional sibling dispute and one with fault on both sides. We also read of other pressures she faced at school, of another rape she suffered and more.

Most moving and impressive for me is how Watson paints the relationship between Rosa and John – including how John navigates his own inability to really understand why Rosa has so definitely cut off her brother (partly due to her silences about what really happened and partly due to the views of her parents) – as well as the small gestures and shared memories that make up their relationship.

If there is a key theme to the book it is of lines drawn. Rosa has decided to deal with her brother’s behaviour by forming a clear and insurmountable boundary between them, which is why she is so thrown when he reappears uninvited in the adult life she has carefully curated (first in person and then in death). And further she has attempted to create a inpermeable barrier between her past and her present – and much of the book represents that barrier being breached, Watson’s style and typography physically and brilliantly capturing how the past bleeds into the present.

For me this is as impressive as her debut – and showcases an author working with a new way to explore misogyny and trauma. I would be really interested to get an audio version and really hope a play version lies in the future. I would also love this book to make next year’s Women’ Prize list.