When we first meet 7th grader Becky, she is getting ready for a funeral, and feels that her family will never be okay again. We don't find out about the tragedy for a good half of the book, and this creates a lot of tension, so I don't want to spoil it. Becky lives with her family, which includes her mother, father who is a rabbi, older siblings Jon and Sara, and younger brother Benji. She plays flute, and is very interested in trying out for the All-County band, but she hasn't been working on the preparations for her upcoming bat mitzvah. Her best friend Nipa is also in band, and encourages to keep practicing in case her parents allow her to try out. Becky is sad when Jon goes off to college, and concerned when she finds out that Sara is lying to her about where she has been. Sara is involved in a high school production of Les Miserables, and when Becky and Nipa go to school to offer to help with the play (when they really just want to spy on Sara), they find out that she is dating Sean, the son of a new pastor in town. Since their father is constantly saying that they can only marry Jewish men, and their cousin Miri is at odds with her parents because she has married a gentile, Becky is concerned. Becky is so desperate to try out for the band that after her parents say she can't, she forgets her mother's signature and does well on the audition. On New Year's Eve, hoping to start the year as a better person, she tells her parents, and they give her one week to convince them that her bat mitzvah preparations are progressing. Shortly after, a series of events spirals into tragedy, and Becky and her family spend the rest of the book navigating their way through their new reality.
Strengths: I enjoyed spending time Becky's family, and watching her relationships with her siblings. There is not enough of this in middle grade literature, considering how important family members are to tweens. Often, they are portrayed as annoyances, so the fact that Becky truly loved her siblings but got involved in their problems was refreshing. This is a great book for Jewish representation, and the fact that Becky's bat mitzvah is not quite as important as her All-County band tryout to he is also a nice change of pace. The grief that takes up most of the last third of the book is handled in a contemporary way.
Weaknesses: For the family of a rabbi, there is a lot of lying and subterfuge. There are some good cultural details about activities the close knit family does that relate to their Jewish culture, but there is surprisingly little about the religious aspects of their life. I would have expected the entire family to spend a lot more time hanging out at the synagogue; my friends whose parents were pastors practically lived at their churches. Also, the father's insistence that his children only marry other Jewish people seemed problematic in today's cultural and political climate.
What I really think: This is a good choice for readers who liked Milliner's entry in Baron's collection On All Other Nights: A Passover Celebration in 14 Stories or the extreme grief of Millington's Once For Yes.

I'll never be convinced that the way to help children process grief is to put the idea in their minds that they will "never be okay". People die. Every day. If this were true, the entire world would grind to a halt. While Becky does make some progress in coming to terms with what has happened, this is still a very sad book. I know a lot of teachers and librarians love books like this, but they will never be my favorite.

This book was extremely well written, engaging, and thought-provoking. Although it was advertised as a middle-grade novel, I felt like the main character (a 12-year-old) was much more mature than her age. She didn’t act like any 12 year old I know, especially when dealing with tragedy.. I’m glad the author showed the consequences of secrets, but agree with other reviewers who said there had to be a less tragic way to communicate this. I loved this as an adult, but wouldn’t share it with my 12-year-old granddaughter. This is the only reason I didn’t give it 5-stars. This author is highly skilled. I’ll definitely read her work again.

In this heartbreakingly and hauntingly beautiful story, Becky is preparing for her Bat Mitzvah but she really wants to be part of the All-County concert. So, she keeps her audition secret from her rabbi father and the rest of her family. Except for her big sister. Sara and Becky tell each other everything. They share secrets the way sisters always do. Sometimes secrets are fun. Othertimes they can be devistating. This book perfectly encapsulates Jewish grief and identity in a way I've rarely seen.

This is a beautiful look at being Jewish and trying to find where you fit in the world.
I really liked Becky and her family. Her father is a Rabbi and the family does have some expectations which are weighing on her sister Sara. Becky also feels the pressure as she prepares for her Bat Mitzvah.
Becky loves playing her flute, just like her sister likes to act and sing. She is very close with her sister and they both do some things that create secrets that they end up keeping for each other. But Becky learns that keeping secrets can weigh on you and be hard to keep.
I loved the Jewish representation in this book. The family is close and supportive of each other.
I really liked Becky's friend Nipa too and how they are there for each other.
What happens in this book is tragic, I was crying along with these characters. But I liked watching Becky figure out how to continue and pour herself into music.

A beautiful Jewish middle grade book.

Thank you NetGalley for this ARC.

Despite the mention of grief in the book's description, this book was much more intense than I had anticipated. I began reading thinking it would end up being a fairly light-hearted book about a relationship between sisters and an impending bat mitzvah, but I quickly realized that was not the case. I was a bit disappointed because I enjoyed reading about Becky and her family dynamics, particularly so because her dad is a rabbi, which provides a different and important perspective that I've rarely seen in middle grade books, and I would have been happy reading about them without the tragic event that occurs near the end of the book.

While I understand that the plot twist in the book is supposed to be just that, I wish the description had been more forthright about the subject matter. I found the two separate parts of the book jarring, although I suppose that is the point: grief is jarring. I also wonder just how many middle grade readers would relate to the discussions about Jewish continuity and Becky's parents' insistence that their children marry other Jews. I think it's an interesting topic to address in a middle-grade book, but the way it was handled was not my favorite. Despite that, I still think this is an important book for its representation of a Jewish family.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing an e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This book has a predictable "twist" that makes me hesitant to recommend it. I enjoyed the relationship between younger sister Becky and older sister Sara. Throughout the story, both are keeping secrets that would disappoint their parents and the secrets inevitably come out. The reaction to Becky's secret is underplayed while Sara's secret leads to over-the-top consequences for her.

I am not from a Jewish background, so I did like learning about the traditions of a Jewish family and the amount of work it takes to prepare for a bar mitzvah.

Spoiler Warning:

Sara's fate really rubbed me the wrong way. I'm not sure if the author was going for a modern Romeo and Juliet tale, but Sara seemed smart enough to not drive in a snowstorm in the middle of the night. She could have used her phone to text Sean (and most teens would nowadays). It also felt like she was being punished for daring to go against the wishes of her father. I would have preferred if the parents found out about the forbidden relationship and confronted Sara leading her to dash away in the car.

I am so thankful for this book. Growing up a book like this wasn’t an option for me, so being able to read this book as an adult was the most therapeutic and lovely experience. Becky is a great protagonist and getting to experience so many different highs and lows was fascinating. The author does a fantastic job of capturing a realistic story of grief especially as someone who experienced loss too young like Becky. Her family is my favorite part of this entire book and I enjoyed their dynamic so much, and found them so relatable and lovely. I can’t say enough good things about this book. Thank you so much for giving representation to Jewish girls everywhere

This was such a beautifully done story and enjoyed the sibling relationship element to this. The characters were everything that I was hoping for and enjoyed how everything flowed with the story being told. It was realistically portrayed and glad everything had that element to it. I enjoyed the way Naomi Milliner wrote this and can’t wait for more.