Knowing that Carrie Byrd’s wife is Roslyn Sinclair and being a huge fan of her work, I was super hyped going into this book. Maybe those expectations were ultimately a bad thing because I found myself sadly disappointed. My main issue was I just didn’t like or emphasize with the character of Jillian. While the things she said and did were at times very funny, I didn’t think they were believable. I was also very much looking forward to the “ice queen melt” when we find out her true motivations for acting the way she does and I found it very lackluster.

Because of this I lost interest about half way in and could not finish reading. I would give this author another shot since it’s her debut, but in good conscience cannot recommend this particular book.

Carrie Byrd may be a new star in the sapphfic universe, she shoots right into the stratosphere with this debut. It’s sharp, funny, vulnerable and so very addictive!

I received an advance copy from Netgalley and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Mattie Belman was supposed to be a successful actress by now. And happily married. Instead, she is newly divorced with no actual acting success to her name. Defeated, Mattie returns to her hometown to live with her parents and start a new job as a drama teacher at a private Catholic school for girls. A very strict Catholic school, that is. Well, that might be a slight challenge for an out and proud Jewish lesbian like Mattie. To top that off, behind the scenes the school seems to be run by the very successful but equally arrogant soccer coach Jillian Reed. Why oh why does Mattie feel an instant pull towards this aggravating woman? To speak with Carrie Byrd’s/Mattie’s own hilarious words: ‘the outcome seems inevitable, like death, taxes, or homophobic politicians getting caught on gay-dating apps.’

Mattie is a powerhouse. She might not think so herself, but she is determined right from the start to not let Jillian overpower her like some lame chicken. The way she immediately challenges the infuriating head coach is something to be admired and cheered on with dances and pompoms! Mattie stole my heart right from page one. She is anything but sure of herself or her future, but she values herself enough to stand up for what she feels is right, for her and her students.

Now for Jillian, it took me a good while to actually like her. Byrd does an impeccable job in introducing her as the narcissistic villain of the story who only cares about her own success. The tension between Mattie and Jillian is delicious. The story is told from Mattie’s POV, so you only get glimpses of Jillian’s suppressed attraction, but these little peeks behind that wall of pure arrogance are everything. Through Mattie’s eyes we get to watch those concrete walls crumble one tiny piece at a time.

Mattie’s witty self deprecation is hilariously honest. Her self talk made me grin more than once. She can look at her own thoughts, twist her way of thinking into something agreeable and call bullshit all in the same sentence. It makes her very human and very, very funny.

The parallels in the dynamics between the musical characters and between Mattie and Jillian are spot on. Mattie plays a very important role in the lives of some of her students. Showing them, struggling against the catholic school’s restrictions, that being different is ok and being different doesn’t mean you can’t live a happy life or find love.

While Mattie and Jillian grow closer, Jillian is weighed down by her families expectations and the fear of not being good enough if she would live her life authentically. At the same time she tries to teach the musical kids about standing up for themselves and believe in their abilities. My heart ached for Jillian and for Mattie as well. To see the woman she loves struggle like that? Heartbreaking. If only Jillian could take her own lessons to heart…

I could write on and on about how good I think this book is, but you know what, go read it and let it speak for itself. One thing is absolutely true though: Carrie Byrd is one new author to watch out for!

Did anyone else read this picturing Katy O'Brian as Jillian... or was that just me?

(Adding extra text here on NG to make up the minimum word limit)

After a failed acting career, Mattie ends up back in her parents house and a theater teacher. Jillian is an over the top soccer coach, with championships to back it up, at the same school. Religion plays a role in this book as both queer women teach at a catholic school. I enjoyed getting to know both characters, especially Jillian because she had my eyes rolling. The book is fullll of chemistry and a connection that is hinted to go deeper than the surface. I had an inkling from the beginning of the story. I received a copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Wow! This is an absolutely brilliant story that includes so many different topics, each one handled expertly and with so much care. The difficulties of starting over are woven in with religious beliefs, and homophobia around a high school musical, giving each topic airtime and allowing readers to fall in love with Mattie and Jillian. Elements of humor and sarcasm smooth out the rough edges of these difficult topics, enabling a well-rounded, and relatable story. Profound insights with a touch of wit make this story truly memorable.

Loser of the Year is a compelling romance with well-developed characters you can’t help but love. Relatable challenges are woven with a profound narrative that struck me to my core. The emotions conveyed run the gamut from shame, regret, and complacency, to delight, joy, and love, allowing for a truly memorable reading experience. The story will make you laugh out loud and wipe empathetic tears from your eyes (sometimes at the same time). It’s a layered tale that will keep you turning pages right up to the very end. So grab your copy, drop into your favorite reading spot, and enjoy this stunningly brilliant read!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️3/4

I looked forward to this book for months and, my goodness, it did not disappoint! It had everything that I love in a romance: a frosty ice queen, quirky side characters, great banter, And excellent character development. The story was funny, heartwarming, and empowering. It felt like Mean Girls and Glee rolled into one queer package.

Mattie and Jillian were such a great couple, each understanding the other on a cellular level and calling each other on their BS. I loved the way that they had to learn to fit together and adjust the way that they approached being together. Jillian was an amazing ice queen with the way that she was so unapproachable to everyone but found ways and reasons to be near Mattie. She was also great at disguising her compliments as insults when she was trying to hide how smitten she really was. Every time I thought I had Jillian figured out, she threw me another curveball (or whatever the soccer equivalent of a curveball is).

Another thing that really stood out to me was the general lack of a reference to Mattie’s size. It’s hinted at that she’s a bit plus sized but never overtly stated. There is absolutely nothing wrong with stating that a character is plus sized or curvy but I loved the way that Carrie Byrd made it known without making a big deal out of it. Mattie’s size wasn’t a plot point, it was just a fact of life. It was a part of her that didn’t need to be addressed or dealt with and as a plus sized woman myself, I found this refreshing.

It wasn’t just the two main characters who learned from their experiences. All of the characters in the book were truly special and showed some kind of growth. The side characters were just as complex and fun to read about as Mattie and Jillian. Carrie Byrd also expertly captures the spirit of growing in a small, religious town and all of the effects that that can have on a young queer person.

I’ll recommend this book to anyone. Literally anyone. It’s definitely a new favorite. Thank you so much to Carrie Byrd, Ylva, and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I found the character of Jillian hard to like- while most 'ice queens' aren't supposed to be likeable initially I can usually find at least one redeemable quality early on - with Jillian it took a little time.
Apart from sex the two MC's have appear to have little in common with issues is religion and sexuality being barriers to overcome but also with a little history making an appearance as well.
The story was well written but I found it lacking a little in the 'romance' department and I don't feel it had anything to do with the 'hiding away' due to schools policy but more about the way the characters developed- it seemed the strongest link was sex!

Loser of the Year by Carrie Byrd was a fantastic account of the complex process one must face to fully embrace oneself in opposition to oppressive religious upbringing, small-town/small-mind atmosphere, and private school-encoded discrimination (read: morality clause). Mattie was a recently divorced agnostic Jew with a failing acting career in NY who headed home to lick her wounds. She accepts a temporary position as a theater teacher at a private Catholic girls' school. There, she met the closeted, arrogant soccer coach everyone seemed to bend to. An immediate attraction began, and a conflict erupted over how the students spent their spare time: preparing for a theater production or extra soccer practice. Jillian turned out to be much more than she appeared.
This story had layers, twists, passion, and heart. Spicy times ensued, and eventual love grew between the two as they navigated strict parameters and undeniable sexual tension.
It was a testament to the return on investment when risking everything you have carefully built for a chance at happiness. Maddie and Jillian also became mentors and examples for their students as they held space for the girls to accept and grow into their differences.
I absolutely recommend this book!
#oppositesattract #grumpy/sunshine #rivalstolovers #comingoutlaterinlife #religiousoppression #jewishauthor #jewishmain #catholicmain #privateschool #soccer #teacher #actor #theaterproduction #divorcedmain #smalltown #cominghome #icequeen #pennsylvania #nostrings #out/closeted #HEA #butch/femme #religioustrauma
PS This totally feels like it could be some kind of GLEE fanfic :)

This enemies-to-lovers, opposites-attract romance brilliantly captures the nuances of daring to take risks, even when they might lead to heartache. The characters are wonderfully developed, each with their own complexities and growth arcs that draw readers in. The chemistry between Mattie and Jillian is palpable, making their journey from adversaries to lovers both believable and compelling.

The author’s portrayal of their evolving relationship is skillfully done, maintaining a perfect balance of tension and tenderness. The narrative is engaging, with moments that are both heart-wrenching and heartwarming. The stakes are high, and the emotional payoff is well worth it.

I enjoyed this book immensely. The characters are richly drawn, the romance is electric, and the storyline is captivating. It’s a testament to the author’s skill that I was tempted to review it even before finishing because it was that good. This is a must-read for fans of well-crafted romance with a touch of drama and a lot of heart.

Loser of the Year

My mind is BLOWN…this is my new favourite book ever. I was hooked from the first sentence and on the edge of my seat the entire book. Carrie Byrd is an INCREDIBLE author. The penultimate contemporary enemies-to-lovers - the softest-mushiest cocky grumpy butch - the feisty femme that doesn’t back down - the controlling nature of religious homophobia and the pain of hiding yourself - the deep, deep wanting and hunger - oh my goodness. I don’t even know where to start.
Jillian and “Freckles” are SO lovable and so are their students. I loved how “realistic” the interpersonal interactions were, with family and friends and students. I loved getting to see deeper and deeper into Jillian’s pain and inner workings and softness, and Mattie’s relationship with her parents and how she fought for herself and for Jillian - and how Jillian fought for herself and for Mattie.
The tension was off the charts - the hungering and yearning - and the spice scenes were literally - LITERALLY - the best I have EVER read, no exaggeration at ALL!!!!! Wowwwww.
Thank you so much for this ARC, I will be recommending it to everyone and waiting with bated breath for more books by Carrie Byrd!!!!

This book is about strong women and prejudice in our time.

Mattie is a women, who try to start a new life. She return home and became a high school teacher and have to hide her sexuality.

Jillian is a soccer coach, who gets everything, but the cost of it is also very high.

Both of them are searching for love and peace. This is opposites attract lesbian romance and I really enjoy the reading.

I received an ARC from NetGalley and am writing this review voluntarily.

First, let me just come out and say, after that, I'll write my feelings and review based on that. The book is gorgeous with the capital 'G'. I read the book, sat with it after reading it, and thought about my feelings and now I am writing the review.

The book is an emotional roller coaster, especially the main character, Jillian. I loved her. She was complicated, multilayered, witty, adorable :) ;). But, seriously she felt more real to me than many characters from other books. The moment I read she had a razor-sharp focus on Mattie on their first day in the press conference, I got the feeling that actually was true in the later part of the book. It was a happy coincidence.

Mattie is a human being who knows her strengths, faults, and knowledge (at some level) but I really would be much more impressed with her if she, you know, set her boundaries. Based on her character strength, I thought she would have clear boundaries, or at least when she already went through emotional turmoil on both personal and professional fronts, she would've had to set clear-cut boundaries with the people who disrespect her. It was frustrating to read Jillian played her like a toy. I liked her parents.

The tension between religion, acceptance, identity, and existence is relatable. We live in a society where religion is so dominant or becomes a part of our identity that excluding ourselves from it makes people feel bereft. The writing here captures the pain. Sensitivity.

The mention of butter chicken, naan, and mango lassi actually had me order straight away :).

I would highly recommend this book.

This book hits so many tones perfectly. Mattie Melman returns to her home to begin again. Her acting career stalled and her marriage failed. Her mother helps her get a job teaching theater at St. Rita’s, a Catholic high school. (Because it is private she doesn’t need a teaching degree.) At the school she meets soccer coach Jillian Reed. Jillian is one of the most arrogant characters proudly boasting her 13 consecutive state championship wins. This is Jillian’s hometown as well. She played college ball, made the national team and played professionally before giving it up to return home. Jillian’s team is a big draw for school recruiting and funding so she is used to getting her way. Of course she and Mattie are going to provoke each other, especially after the school principal insists Jillian will be co-directing the school musical.

Religion plays a part in the story. Mattie is non observant and Jewish. So the prayers, weekly mass and morality clause in her contract are new to her. Jillian, of course, has a mother that expects her traditional family to be providing the grandchildren she wants.

I started the story annoyed at the arrogant Jillian and then Mattie helps peel back layers till you see the sweet woman beneath. One of the touch points for me having worked in a school is the importance of teachers and their support of students. I got misty when Mattie’s students showed her their support. This is a wonderful, sweet and fun romance. It is seemingly a debut novel and I hope the author writes many more. Thank you to NetGalley and Ylva Publishing for the ARC and I am leaving a voluntary review.

I really enjoyed this one. The characters are layered and very different. While Mattie is all enthousiam and warm, Jill is arrogant, toeing with mean and has some serious ice queen vibes. Those who know me probably Jill was my favorite character. The book is written in Mattie’s single POV so we only see her through her eyes but Byrd made sure we could read between the lines. She was so infuriating and also very touching, with her background and the environment she evolves in. The bickering brought back to life Mattie, who was a state almost in a state of numbness in her life. The progression of their relationship is very interesting and with a twist that I did not expected. It was basically one step forward three steps back, the relationship well alive and full of chemistry. Byrd brings a lot of topic, like family, religion and choosing between yourself and your community.
I really appreciate the teaching part of the book : the students were really endearing. It felt really warm to see teachers and student find their way Reading this book really made me think of how I felt watching some movies in the 90's, like Sister act 2. It was just really comforting except it has a sapphic story line in it!
This debut novel doesn’t feel like one, the pace is good, the writing flowing and easy to read. I couldn’t put it down

Returning home after a divorce and the loss of her dreams, Mattie Belman, moves back in with her parents and takes a job teaching drama at a Catholic school. On day one, she makes an enemy of the school's championship winning soccer coach, Jillian Reed. Jillian is brash, arrogant and annoying hot. She becomes Mattie's co-director of the school musical, much to Mattie's dismay. As the two spend more time together, Mattie sees there is a lot more to Jillian than she allows others to see.
This is a wonderful debut novel from Carrie Byrd. Jillian at one point says that this isn't "Dead Poets Society," however, the relationships the two form with their students is reminiscent of the bonds that are formed in that film. Mattie and Jillian in their different, distinct ways, are there for their students in a way that is heartwarming and inspiring. As delightful as I found Mattie, the Jewish lesbian trying to find her way after a lot of heartache, Jillian is a revelation. I expected her to evolve from the overbearing personality she was first presented as, but I didn't expect her to make her way into my heart and be a character that I would protect at all costs. I am not often surprised, but Jillian surprised me in so many ways.
Bryd has given us a wonderful story, a poignant romance and one of the most memorable characters I have read in a very long time. I can't recommend this book enough and can't wait to see what Carrie Bryd brings us next.

Ok this was a super interesting one because I really did not vibe with this at the beginning. I liked Mattie well enough but Julian just read as soooo weird with how she behaved, and it seemed so odd for a 40yo woman (It felt very Sue from Glee, which is a bit of an odd choice for a love interest). However, as the story progressed and we got to know them both more I really ended up enjoying it. I loved Jillian's arc and I appreciated seeing the representation of an older closeted (and in denial) queer woman come to terms with her identity. I just really loved the way that whole plot unravelled and how it linked into the lessons they were trying to teach their students.

I also loved the reveal of how Mattie and Julian had a connection as teenagers, I really didn't see that coming.

One thing that was crazy to me was them being physical at the school though lmao, their hooking up in Jillian's office was an ick for me, like it wasn't even after hours!! and then them KISSING (not an ick) but AT YOUR HOMOPHOBIC WORKPLACE? Come on now, how silly can you be!

But all in all, while it got off to a slow start, I did ultimately enjoy this one, and it was a nice change to read about some slightly older queer characters than we typically see in romances.

Thank you to NetGalley and Ylva Publishing for an arc in exchange for an honest review!

Mattie Belman’s life has gone from dismal to desperate. After the loss of her acting career, her marriage, and her usual optimism, she’s back home teaching high school theater. Maybe it’ll be a fresh start.

St. Rita’s arrogant soccer coach Jillian Reed sees Mattie’s musical as an outrageous distraction for her champion players. When Jillian declares war, Mattie is far too stubborn to back down. But as Mattie discovers there might be more to Jillian than spectacle, fire, and ego, she gets dangerously close to her iron-willed colleague. Can she avoid temptation? Or will the growing flame in Jillian’s dark eyes ignite them both?

This book is brilliant. The chemistry between Mattie and Jillian is hot! The romance is very well written in this story. The treatment of religion and the dynamics between them and queer people is amazing. My favorite aspect of this story, though, is that it shows the impact that teachers can have on kids. As a teacher myself, this really hit me. Beautifully written book!

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the advanced digital reader's copy (ARC) in exchange for an honest review!

I loved everything about this book! The rivals-to-lovers/enemies-to-lovers trope often rings hollow for me. Either there's no real reason why the characters clash or they are so cruel and cutting to each other that I can't bring myself to root for them as a couple. This book was a masterclass in how to craft that dynamic. Their personalities and priorities were different enough that it made sense why they chafed even before a reveal about their past history. But even when they were at each other's throats, they were respectful, and demanded that others around them -- their students and coworkers -- show each other respect as well. The rivalry felt like, even from the beginning, a challenge to make each other the best version of themselves.

Once they finally caved to their attraction, their relationship was both incredibly sexy and surprisingly sweet. It was clear that despite their desire to keep things uncomplicated, their feelings for each other were growing. The religious environment and the risk to their careers made it imperative for things between them to remain a secret, even once their feelings had moved far beyond simply friends with benefits.

I appreciated the authenticity of Jillian's struggle to reconcile her sexual orientation and her feelings for Mattie with her religious upbringing, her internalized homophobia, and her desire to protect her career. Their path to happily ever after wasn't smooth or easy, but it couldn't be for someone like Jillian.

Finally, I really loved the minor characters, especially the students. Jillian and Mattie both clearly loved their students and wanted to protect them and give them the best opportunities as students, as atheletes, and as individuals. I loved the way the students returned that loyalty and affection.

One of my favorite romances this year. Five stars, start to finish!

I've been waiting for this book for a while, and I absolutely love it!!
Carrie Byrd has created two endearing characters. I especially adore Jillian; she's straightforward, cocky, quirky, and a little awkward. (Loving awkward characters is in my blood.) The book is really well-written and everything I was looking for in a contemporary romance. Such a great debut! I'm looking forward to Carrie Byrd's next work.



Thank you to Netgalley and Ylva Publishing for the ARC.

The strain. The chemical composition. The mist. Oh my. I wanted to relish this book, but I couldn't put it down quickly enough. The story has so many depths that the reader is utterly captivated the entire time. Mattie was self-assured, loyal to herself, and incredibly compassionate, whereas Jillian was the epitome of the ice queen—dominant but also fragile. They were the perfect combination. I heartily suggest this one. It blows my head that it's a debut.