Loser of the Year by Carrie Byrd was a fantastic account of the complex process one must face to fully embrace oneself in opposition to oppressive religious upbringing, small-town/small-mind atmosphere, and private school-encoded discrimination (read: morality clause). Mattie was a recently divorced agnostic Jew with a failing acting career in NY who headed home to lick her wounds. She accepts a temporary position as a theater teacher at a private Catholic girls' school. There, she met the closeted, arrogant soccer coach everyone seemed to bend to. An immediate attraction began, and a conflict erupted over how the students spent their spare time: preparing for a theater production or extra soccer practice. Jillian turned out to be much more than she appeared.
This story had layers, twists, passion, and heart. Spicy times ensued, and eventual love grew between the two as they navigated strict parameters and undeniable sexual tension.
It was a testament to the return on investment when risking everything you have carefully built for a chance at happiness. Maddie and Jillian also became mentors and examples for their students as they held space for the girls to accept and grow into their differences.
I absolutely recommend this book!
#oppositesattract #grumpy/sunshine #rivalstolovers #comingoutlaterinlife #religiousoppression #jewishauthor #jewishmain #catholicmain #privateschool #soccer #teacher #actor #theaterproduction #divorcedmain #smalltown #cominghome #icequeen #pennsylvania #nostrings #out/closeted #HEA #butch/femme #religioustrauma
PS This totally feels like it could be some kind of GLEE fanfic :)

This enemies-to-lovers, opposites-attract romance brilliantly captures the nuances of daring to take risks, even when they might lead to heartache. The characters are wonderfully developed, each with their own complexities and growth arcs that draw readers in. The chemistry between Mattie and Jillian is palpable, making their journey from adversaries to lovers both believable and compelling.

The author’s portrayal of their evolving relationship is skillfully done, maintaining a perfect balance of tension and tenderness. The narrative is engaging, with moments that are both heart-wrenching and heartwarming. The stakes are high, and the emotional payoff is well worth it.

I enjoyed this book immensely. The characters are richly drawn, the romance is electric, and the storyline is captivating. It’s a testament to the author’s skill that I was tempted to review it even before finishing because it was that good. This is a must-read for fans of well-crafted romance with a touch of drama and a lot of heart.

Loser of the Year

My mind is BLOWN…this is my new favourite book ever. I was hooked from the first sentence and on the edge of my seat the entire book. Carrie Byrd is an INCREDIBLE author. The penultimate contemporary enemies-to-lovers - the softest-mushiest cocky grumpy butch - the feisty femme that doesn’t back down - the controlling nature of religious homophobia and the pain of hiding yourself - the deep, deep wanting and hunger - oh my goodness. I don’t even know where to start.
Jillian and “Freckles” are SO lovable and so are their students. I loved how “realistic” the interpersonal interactions were, with family and friends and students. I loved getting to see deeper and deeper into Jillian’s pain and inner workings and softness, and Mattie’s relationship with her parents and how she fought for herself and for Jillian - and how Jillian fought for herself and for Mattie.
The tension was off the charts - the hungering and yearning - and the spice scenes were literally - LITERALLY - the best I have EVER read, no exaggeration at ALL!!!!! Wowwwww.
Thank you so much for this ARC, I will be recommending it to everyone and waiting with bated breath for more books by Carrie Byrd!!!!

This book is about strong women and prejudice in our time.

Mattie is a women, who try to start a new life. She return home and became a high school teacher and have to hide her sexuality.

Jillian is a soccer coach, who gets everything, but the cost of it is also very high.

Both of them are searching for love and peace. This is opposites attract lesbian romance and I really enjoy the reading.

I received an ARC from NetGalley and am writing this review voluntarily.

First, let me just come out and say, after that, I'll write my feelings and review based on that. The book is gorgeous with the capital 'G'. I read the book, sat with it after reading it, and thought about my feelings and now I am writing the review.

The book is an emotional roller coaster, especially the main character, Jillian. I loved her. She was complicated, multilayered, witty, adorable :) ;). But, seriously she felt more real to me than many characters from other books. The moment I read she had a razor-sharp focus on Mattie on their first day in the press conference, I got the feeling that actually was true in the later part of the book. It was a happy coincidence.

Mattie is a human being who knows her strengths, faults, and knowledge (at some level) but I really would be much more impressed with her if she, you know, set her boundaries. Based on her character strength, I thought she would have clear boundaries, or at least when she already went through emotional turmoil on both personal and professional fronts, she would've had to set clear-cut boundaries with the people who disrespect her. It was frustrating to read Jillian played her like a toy. I liked her parents.

The tension between religion, acceptance, identity, and existence is relatable. We live in a society where religion is so dominant or becomes a part of our identity that excluding ourselves from it makes people feel bereft. The writing here captures the pain. Sensitivity.

The mention of butter chicken, naan, and mango lassi actually had me order straight away :).

I would highly recommend this book.

This book hits so many tones perfectly. Mattie Melman returns to her home to begin again. Her acting career stalled and her marriage failed. Her mother helps her get a job teaching theater at St. Rita’s, a Catholic high school. (Because it is private she doesn’t need a teaching degree.) At the school she meets soccer coach Jillian Reed. Jillian is one of the most arrogant characters proudly boasting her 13 consecutive state championship wins. This is Jillian’s hometown as well. She played college ball, made the national team and played professionally before giving it up to return home. Jillian’s team is a big draw for school recruiting and funding so she is used to getting her way. Of course she and Mattie are going to provoke each other, especially after the school principal insists Jillian will be co-directing the school musical.

Religion plays a part in the story. Mattie is non observant and Jewish. So the prayers, weekly mass and morality clause in her contract are new to her. Jillian, of course, has a mother that expects her traditional family to be providing the grandchildren she wants.

I started the story annoyed at the arrogant Jillian and then Mattie helps peel back layers till you see the sweet woman beneath. One of the touch points for me having worked in a school is the importance of teachers and their support of students. I got misty when Mattie’s students showed her their support. This is a wonderful, sweet and fun romance. It is seemingly a debut novel and I hope the author writes many more. Thank you to NetGalley and Ylva Publishing for the ARC and I am leaving a voluntary review.

I really enjoyed this one. The characters are layered and very different. While Mattie is all enthousiam and warm, Jill is arrogant, toeing with mean and has some serious ice queen vibes. Those who know me probably Jill was my favorite character. The book is written in Mattie’s single POV so we only see her through her eyes but Byrd made sure we could read between the lines. She was so infuriating and also very touching, with her background and the environment she evolves in. The bickering brought back to life Mattie, who was a state almost in a state of numbness in her life. The progression of their relationship is very interesting and with a twist that I did not expected. It was basically one step forward three steps back, the relationship well alive and full of chemistry. Byrd brings a lot of topic, like family, religion and choosing between yourself and your community.
I really appreciate the teaching part of the book : the students were really endearing. It felt really warm to see teachers and student find their way Reading this book really made me think of how I felt watching some movies in the 90's, like Sister act 2. It was just really comforting except it has a sapphic story line in it!
This debut novel doesn’t feel like one, the pace is good, the writing flowing and easy to read. I couldn’t put it down

Returning home after a divorce and the loss of her dreams, Mattie Belman, moves back in with her parents and takes a job teaching drama at a Catholic school. On day one, she makes an enemy of the school's championship winning soccer coach, Jillian Reed. Jillian is brash, arrogant and annoying hot. She becomes Mattie's co-director of the school musical, much to Mattie's dismay. As the two spend more time together, Mattie sees there is a lot more to Jillian than she allows others to see.
This is a wonderful debut novel from Carrie Byrd. Jillian at one point says that this isn't "Dead Poets Society," however, the relationships the two form with their students is reminiscent of the bonds that are formed in that film. Mattie and Jillian in their different, distinct ways, are there for their students in a way that is heartwarming and inspiring. As delightful as I found Mattie, the Jewish lesbian trying to find her way after a lot of heartache, Jillian is a revelation. I expected her to evolve from the overbearing personality she was first presented as, but I didn't expect her to make her way into my heart and be a character that I would protect at all costs. I am not often surprised, but Jillian surprised me in so many ways.
Bryd has given us a wonderful story, a poignant romance and one of the most memorable characters I have read in a very long time. I can't recommend this book enough and can't wait to see what Carrie Bryd brings us next.

Ok this was a super interesting one because I really did not vibe with this at the beginning. I liked Mattie well enough but Julian just read as soooo weird with how she behaved, and it seemed so odd for a 40yo woman (It felt very Sue from Glee, which is a bit of an odd choice for a love interest). However, as the story progressed and we got to know them both more I really ended up enjoying it. I loved Jillian's arc and I appreciated seeing the representation of an older closeted (and in denial) queer woman come to terms with her identity. I just really loved the way that whole plot unravelled and how it linked into the lessons they were trying to teach their students.

I also loved the reveal of how Mattie and Julian had a connection as teenagers, I really didn't see that coming.

One thing that was crazy to me was them being physical at the school though lmao, their hooking up in Jillian's office was an ick for me, like it wasn't even after hours!! and then them KISSING (not an ick) but AT YOUR HOMOPHOBIC WORKPLACE? Come on now, how silly can you be!

But all in all, while it got off to a slow start, I did ultimately enjoy this one, and it was a nice change to read about some slightly older queer characters than we typically see in romances.

Thank you to NetGalley and Ylva Publishing for an arc in exchange for an honest review!

Mattie Belman’s life has gone from dismal to desperate. After the loss of her acting career, her marriage, and her usual optimism, she’s back home teaching high school theater. Maybe it’ll be a fresh start.

St. Rita’s arrogant soccer coach Jillian Reed sees Mattie’s musical as an outrageous distraction for her champion players. When Jillian declares war, Mattie is far too stubborn to back down. But as Mattie discovers there might be more to Jillian than spectacle, fire, and ego, she gets dangerously close to her iron-willed colleague. Can she avoid temptation? Or will the growing flame in Jillian’s dark eyes ignite them both?

This book is brilliant. The chemistry between Mattie and Jillian is hot! The romance is very well written in this story. The treatment of religion and the dynamics between them and queer people is amazing. My favorite aspect of this story, though, is that it shows the impact that teachers can have on kids. As a teacher myself, this really hit me. Beautifully written book!

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the advanced digital reader's copy (ARC) in exchange for an honest review!

I loved everything about this book! The rivals-to-lovers/enemies-to-lovers trope often rings hollow for me. Either there's no real reason why the characters clash or they are so cruel and cutting to each other that I can't bring myself to root for them as a couple. This book was a masterclass in how to craft that dynamic. Their personalities and priorities were different enough that it made sense why they chafed even before a reveal about their past history. But even when they were at each other's throats, they were respectful, and demanded that others around them -- their students and coworkers -- show each other respect as well. The rivalry felt like, even from the beginning, a challenge to make each other the best version of themselves.

Once they finally caved to their attraction, their relationship was both incredibly sexy and surprisingly sweet. It was clear that despite their desire to keep things uncomplicated, their feelings for each other were growing. The religious environment and the risk to their careers made it imperative for things between them to remain a secret, even once their feelings had moved far beyond simply friends with benefits.

I appreciated the authenticity of Jillian's struggle to reconcile her sexual orientation and her feelings for Mattie with her religious upbringing, her internalized homophobia, and her desire to protect her career. Their path to happily ever after wasn't smooth or easy, but it couldn't be for someone like Jillian.

Finally, I really loved the minor characters, especially the students. Jillian and Mattie both clearly loved their students and wanted to protect them and give them the best opportunities as students, as atheletes, and as individuals. I loved the way the students returned that loyalty and affection.

One of my favorite romances this year. Five stars, start to finish!

I've been waiting for this book for a while, and I absolutely love it!!
Carrie Byrd has created two endearing characters. I especially adore Jillian; she's straightforward, cocky, quirky, and a little awkward. (Loving awkward characters is in my blood.) The book is really well-written and everything I was looking for in a contemporary romance. Such a great debut! I'm looking forward to Carrie Byrd's next work.



Thank you to Netgalley and Ylva Publishing for the ARC.

The strain. The chemical composition. The mist. Oh my. I wanted to relish this book, but I couldn't put it down quickly enough. The story has so many depths that the reader is utterly captivated the entire time. Mattie was self-assured, loyal to herself, and incredibly compassionate, whereas Jillian was the epitome of the ice queen—dominant but also fragile. They were the perfect combination. I heartily suggest this one. It blows my head that it's a debut.

Loser of the Year is an ice queen, enemies to lovers romance set in a Catholic girls school. Mattie has just taken a job there, despite the fact that she is both queer and Jewish. Having just gotten a divorce and moved back home with her parents, her job as a drama teacher is as close to her disappointing acting career as she can get. She meets Jillian, a seemingly self-absorbed ice queen, ex USWNT soccer player and the schools soccer coach. The two don't exactly hit it off, though their animosity wanes as they spend more time together working on the school musical.

There is a lot going on in this book which gives it a good amount of depth - the conflict of being a queer person in a traditional values Catholic school, dealing with divorce and being afraid to pursue your dreams, being honest with the kids you are teaching even if it could cost you your job and how to be brave despite it being scary. We only get to see Mattie's point of view, but she has many musings on where Jillian is coming from that help us get into her mind as well. The characters are thoughtful, and their interactions with others are all meaningful. It's a more realistic story than many romances and while it does have a HEA, it's not all sunshine and easy roses like so many other ones. Life isn't always easy to navigate and this book shows that, but also what can happen when you are true to yourself. It's a great book that I definitely recommend.

I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I can’t believe that this is Byrd’s debut novel. The writing is gorgeous, the dialogue is snappy, the characters are oh-so flawed and real and relatable, and the pacing was great. If you like sapphic fiction, you should pick this up immediately (well, July 17) and join the legions of arc readers who are already falling all over ourselves to give praise to this newcomer to our hallowed author circles.

Mattie has returned home after a divorce and not getting any big acting breaks, tail between her legs, feeling totally defeated. Her mom helped score her a theater teaching gig at a local Catholic high school, which will at least allow her to do something with her waking hours and save some money while she inhabits her childhood room. The fact that she is Jewish shouldn’t matter, right? And that morality clause that she skimmed over in the contract couldn’t possibly mean she can’t be out, right?

Jillian is a narcissistic coach of the winningest women’s high school soccer team in PA - 13 years and counting. When we first meet her, she is giving a press conference, saying things like “And it’s all thanks to yours truly: the best girls’ soccer coach in the history of this mediocre state.” To me, she’s reminiscent of Jane Lynch’s Sue Sylvester on Glee, which I am here for. Jillian is both respected and hated and doesn’t need anyone for anything. She rules the school and is despised for it, but her armor is as thick as igloo walls and nothing bothers her. Except, it seems, Mattie. Mattie who isn’t afraid of her, Mattie who stands up to her, Mattie who’s gaydar pings immediately and actually talks about it with her. Things are not going as usual this year, that’s for sure.

I want to give nothing away because the ride is delightful and everyone should get to enjoy it as much as I did. But I will say that these women are deep character studies, both overcoming their own experiences, learning about themselves as they get to know each other, and confronting their deepest fears all while inspiring their young charges that they both care about so much.

And the writing is fantastic - I highlighted so many one liners that made me laugh out loud....let me offer you a brief sampling of some of my favorites:
“May she have hemorrhoids that weep more often than an unhappy toddler”
“But the outcome seemed inevitable, like death, taxes, or homophobic politicians getting caught on gay-dating apps”
“How many times do I have to say this? Apologies are like corporate vision statements: utterly useless.”

Do yourself a favor and go get this book!
Thank you to NetGally and Ylva Publishing for an arc in exchange for an honest review.

would like to thank netgalley and the publisher for letting me read this awesome book

today is the first day of matties new job.... shes going to be a teacher and teach theatre and performing arts but first she has to get through another teachers speech about how well she had been at her job to get the soccer team as far as they could go... and boy was this speech all about her and not about the teams performance....

jillian reed was that coach she was good at her job but she was also not liked by many people

mattie and jillian were a clash of personalities both not willing to give an inch for their classes but both had the girls best interest at heart

so what if mattie found it a challenge to step up to jillian and not give an inch like the other teachers did...
was that really a smile quirking on jillians face...nope matties must have been mistaken....

but when the new musical was announced and both mattie and jillian found themselves working to put it together was there going to be a clash of personalities

man this book covered so much... bullying. homophobic content to name but a few but it was how the characters were brought out and their personalities that made you love them.... could not put this book down... it was gripping and you were routing for them all....

what a book.... will be keeping an eye out for more from this author

I had absolutely no idea what to expect with this book. I knew it was a debut and I have to say it blew me away! For a debut novel, this is world class! I look forward to everything else to come from Carrie Byrd!

It's an enemies to lovers, opposites attract and a "kind of ice queen" romance.
It's been discussed in other reviews, but "Jillian Reed" was a challange for me!
I never thought I could hate a main character so much until halfway through a book and then respect her immensely by the end of it!
She is arrogant, confident, self-absorbed, seemingly made of Teflon and extremely serious and cynical.
That's what she shows everyone, including Mattie, her new colleague.

But then there is a depth to her, i din't recognize for a long time.
Neither does Mattie. Jillian is very dedicated to her job as a coach and is full of hidden feelings and insecurities.

Mattie, on the other hand, is an absolute sweetheart from the first second and only sees in her what Jillian wants her to see.
A tyrant, that'll make her already sad life, a living hell!

The twists and turns in this book completely surprised me! That's what makes this book so brilliant!
Plus, it's extremely hot, funny, and full of cute and sometimes very annoying characters.
I can't and don't want to say anything more about it. Don't want ot spoil anything!
You have to read it!

Very heartfelt!

Mattie finds herself back in her hometown, teaching at a religious school, alongside Jillian Reed. Immediately the two of them clash, but when they are forced to work together, Mattie discovers a side to Jillian that leaves her feeling attracted, things get really complicated.

Such a great story that dealt with sensitive subjects and difficult situations really well, and shone a light on being your true self as love will prevail over attitudes and standards that have devastating consequences to people’s well being. I loved how Carrie covered so much, from Mattie and Jillian recognising an alliance in one another but creating their own tension, to them accepting fates and supporting each other even when it’d mean making sacrifices.

Mattie and Jillian's relationship brewed really quickly but was born from a firey passion both of them were expert at concealing when they really had to. Not only did they face obstacles in their work and community but also internally and personally. That really made their whole relationship dramatic but in the best way. As soon as they started working together, their chemistry was off the charts but in everything they did, it was their students and the impact any of their actions had on them that came first. At times, especially for Mattie, that was heartbreaking.

Really enjoyed the story. It’s a romance with a difference, and some lovely surprises.

Mattie was an easily loveable character, an out and proud agnostic with Jewish background, she was a sweet and kind-hearted woman who was down on her luck lately but refused to back down from life challenges. I especially touched and loved that she displayed incredible patience and acceptance with her queer students, something I wished I had growing up but I digressed. Jillian on the other hand was not an easily likeable character, she was confident, intense, self-centered and to quote Mattie "Maybe the most arrogant person she'd ever seen", but as the story progressed, we began to understand behind her tough exterior hides a vulnerable woman who feels the need to hides her sexuality, which was understandable, given her Catholic's upbringing.

This is an incredibly well written debut with well-crafted characters development. The book touched on sensitive topics like religion, complicated dynamics between queer members and their family. The chemistry between the two mains are off the chart! This writer is definitely one of my instant read from now on, can't wait to see what she writes next.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Ylva Publishing for the arc.

Religion and sexuality. Life can be a challenge on its own. When you bring Christianity and sexuality into the fold, life can be even more of a challenge. The question in my opinion is; can they coexist. My answer is, of course! Jillian Reed, former soccer player, current successful high school soccer coach. Coach Reed is focused to the max. Mattie Belman, aspiring actress with a future that is not looking very promising. She heads to her family home to regroup and lands a position teaching theater at the local Catholic high school. In this opposites attract story, Jillian and Mattie find themselves working together and sparks begin to fly. The chemistry is fantastic. Jillian's personality is quite something. I enjoyed the reminder that teachers are extremely important in the lives of their students.