I was shocked to find out this was a debut novel. It was a well paced, humorous romance. I found Mattie and Jillian to be an odd couple but that is what made them work. The side characters really really shined in this book as well. The one liners, the odd jokes and the the cockiness. Great debut!


Thanks to NetGalley and Ylva Publishing for the arc in exchange for my honest review.

Loser of the Year by Carrie Byrd is a rivals to lovers, opposites attract, fire queen, contemporary romance, set in the world of academia. 
 
Mattie Balman has returned to her hometown, leaving her ex-wife and flaying acting career behind. She’s not thrilled with the prospect of starting a new job, teaching theatre at the local catholic school. With her optimism at an all-time low, she’s set herself a goal to suck it up for a year. 
 
Jillian Reed played professional soccer at a high level; she is now a high school coach. She is arrogant, narcissistic, and pure fire. There is no way she’s going to let the new theatre teacher distract her students with a silly musical. She’s there to make them win, everything else is unworthy. 
 
When the fire queen declares war, Mattie is just stubborn enough to not back down, even when her colleagues tell her it’s foolish to stand up to the formidable Jillian. 
 
But as Jillian’s fire gets hotter so does Mattie’s growing attraction. She starts to see behind the facade, and like a moth to a flame, Mattie can’t seem to stay away. But will it be worth getting burnt? 
 
To start with I have to say that Jillian is one of the most unlikable protags I’ve ever had the pleasure of getting to know. Kudos to this author for basically making me hate her before I loved her. I nearly gave up hope of even liking her, then bam, and it all started with a mug. (Yes, you read right, the gift of a mug, you’ll know what I mean when you read it.) Then suddenly I started to see beyond the raging fire to those gentle glowing embers that give you all the feels. She’s deep, complex, and basically a hot mess, I love her. 
What I loved most about this character is that her fire is never tamed, just redirected, falling in love actually makes her fire burn brighter. I’d love to know more about one Jillian Reed. 
 
Mattie is a darling. I fell in love with her from the start. The story is told from her viewpoint so you really get to know her. She is stubborn, determined, kind, accepting, and fascinating. She’s been through a lot and although she’s not feeling as optimistic as usual, her sun still shines bright behind the clouds. The more I got to know, the more I loved her. She is perfect for Jillian, and Jillian knows it. 
The story in this book is really good. It’s set in St Rita catholic high school for girls. The setting brought in interesting aspects and themes that were woven throughout. To summarise in order to attend or work at this school you have to at least appear to fit in a box. That boxes sides are reinforced. Basically, if you’re not cisgender, straight, and willing to align with strict catholic teachings, then the lid will be taped shut leaving you on the outside. There’s a very don’t ask, don’t tell feeling between the staff, that left me feeling very sad. It’s nearly impossible to form friendships when you are unable to be yourself. If you’re in this environment at work and home, you can imagine what impact that could have on a person, regardless of their age. 
 
Two brilliant twists in this book turned everything I thought about interactions on their head- I had a “are you kidding me” outburst that made my frost queen wife glare at me from over her laptop! 
 
I had so many mixed feelings while reading this story, this author made me work to understand why on earth Mattie didn’t just leave, and not because Mattie is a quitter, but because it took me a while to get why she was putting herself through certain things. And that readers, for me is the sign of a great story. But once I got it, I felt it, and it worked its way into my heart where it will now stay. 
I’m going to stop there before I get into spoiler territory because readers need to experience all this hard, but loveliness for themselves. 
 
Themes of religion, homophobia, genderphobia, and complicated family relationships.
 
A solid first novel from Carrie Byrd. 
Arc received via NetGalley. 
4.5 stars 🌟

Loser of the Year
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

CHEMISTRY! And steam and wit and sass. This debut is so well-written - I was taking notes! Had a really hard time putting this one down. The author did a tremendous job weaving in a discussion of coming out in a religious (Catholic) environment and the trauma/ripple effect it can cause. There were moments that definitely made me teary. The book was a beautiful ode to teachers and coaches as well. There were times when Jillian’s fire felt like a lot but the author did a great job explaining her psychology, and Mattie was the perfect balance. I pretty much loved everything about this one- strong contender for favorite sapphic romance of the year!

Short summary: Mattie’s a divorced and failed actress who moves back home to teach for a year as she gets back on her feet. From the day she arrives at the school, Jillian is cold to her but Mattie won’t go down without a fight and the more she pushes back, the more she’s fired up.

Thanks to Netgalley and Ylva. ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.

This is a debut novel, but it reads like a seasoned romance author wrote it!

Loser of the Year is an enemies-to-lovers lesbian romance with a plot twist you won't believe. When Mattie Belman returns home from a failed acting career to try teaching, the last thing she expects is to be attracted to Jillian Reed, the arrogant soccer coach at St. Rita's, an all-girls Catholic school. But she is!

When the two are forced to work together on a school play, Mattie discovers much more about Jillian than she initially realized. As sparks fly, the two women are forced to confront their attraction while flying under the radar of the school's morality clause.

The plot twist in this book made my jaw drop, but I don't want to give anything away. However, I will say that I have rarely read a book with so much heart. I can empathize with Mattie, who has to start over a little later in life. The frustration of living at home and trying a new career does wear down a person's self-esteem. Kudos to Byrd for capturing that.

I also thoroughly enjoyed learning more about the Jewish faith. Byrd could have beaten people over the head with it. Instead, she incorporated
it into Mattie's character in a way that was real and showcased how Mattie's Jewish background influenced her mannerisms, speech, and everyday life. I drooled a bit when she mentioned Hamentaschen!

Loser of the Year will simultaneously tug at your heartstrings and make you grab a cold washcloth. Seriously - this book is spicy!

10/10 for lots of smexy moments and 10/10 for an amazing debut book!

This has been a delightful and charming romantic story that explores the unlikely pairing of two strong-willed women - theater teacher Mattie and athletic Coach Reed, forced to work together to put on a school play.

Mattie is an unemployed actress but who does not lose faith in finding her role one day. She returns to her hometown to take on a temporary job as a theater teacher at St. Rita Catholic School. In contrast, the no-nonsense Reed is laser-focused on sports and physical excellence. Apparently Jillian Reed is an arrogant former soccer player who only thinks about winning at any cost, so her sudden interest in Mattie is strange to say the least for everyone, especially Mattie.

As they are compelled to collaborate, the inherent sparks between them slowly begin to ignite, much to Mattie’s surprise. Because the way Jillian Reed behaves with Mattie is not normal, so differently than with the rest of her colleagues. Does Mattie have that much power over it, just by facing and not giving in to Coach Reed's affronts?

Religion also plays a role in the story, quite a bit actually, the school where they teach is Catholic, Jillian has a practicing Catholic family, Mattie is Jewish but agnostic.

Beyond the central romance, the book also offers a heartwarming look at the impact teachers can have on their students' lives. As Mattie and Jillian guide their young studentsthrough the play's production, they learn valuable lessons about mentorship, empowerment and the importance of embracing one's passions.

And there are several surprises that have literally brought tears to my eyes, hormones or whatever, but it has touched my soul.

This is probably one of the best debut novels I've read. Truly enjoyable characters, excellent banter, and some pretty deep emotions all make this book a remarkable read. Definitely recommend giving this one a try, 5/5 stars.

If I hadn't been hearing about and looking forward to this book for months, I'd have never known it's a debut. Loser of the Year is an opposites attract/enemies to lovers masterpiece. I'm not sure where to start!

The chemistry between Mattie and Jillian flies off the page from the very beginning, and escalates to five full flames. I can't remember ever encountering a main character like Jillian. She really is one of a kind. The story is told in third person from Mattie's POV, but I sure would love maybe a novella from Jillian's POV on their first day of school and the first couple of months. The subtle humor woven throughout was also spectacular (all those students named Emma?). And there were a couple of plot twists that had my jaw dropping.

I can't imagine the amount of research that went into covering not only teaching acting and theater, but also soccer and Catholicism.

From about 80% on, I found myself literally crying. Every reader knows to expect a happy ending, but I certainly wasn't sure this time. I started reading at around noon on July 4th and didn't go to bed until I had finished it. I cannot recommend it enough, and I can't wait for what's next!

Where to start with all there is to love about Loser of the Year? This book goes deep into questions of belonging, self-acceptance, and what it means to fear running afoul of conditional love. But it does so with such a unique gaze that it resists comparison with works with similar themes. Carrie Byrd deftly explores the fragile moment of shared exploration when someone truly looks and sees all that you are. I loved how the language of longing took turns being playful, desperate, vulnerable, and cutting but always true in tenor to the choices that Jillian and Mattie are wrestling with. Without spoiling anything, there is a clever twist that is so well constructed and provides such a depth of understanding of the interior of these two characters that it echoes and returns like the beat of a drum as their relationship matures. What’s more, it does so with such humor and tenderness that you could absolutely be forgiven for rooting for Jillian and Mattie out loud, with your whole chest, on public transit. Run, don’t walk, to get your copy. Better yet, get two so the person sitting next to you can get to know what all the fuss is about.

I think this is a very well written book that just isn't for me. I found Jillian a very frustrating character and her ego made her annoying to me not charming so I really struggled with seeing the connection between the two main characters and what Mattie actually saw in her. Then there was the aspect of what happened in the past and Jillian's struggle with religion that I found... Awkward? Which I think is very unfair of me but as someone who kinda went through similar feelings as Jillian at the similar age but managed to actually be happy with who I am rather than hide it this felt like seeing an alternative version of myself and it made me vaguely annoyed. And so many people in this book are hung up on things that happened when they were 18, like god you're goddamn adults!

So not a book for me but I think it could work for many many people who are able to get into the romance of it all. And the kids were pretty adorable.

I received an ARC from the publisher via NetGalley.

It's always such a pleasure to read a strong debut!

Matty returns to her parents' home after her divorce from her ex-wife and a string of auditions in Hollywood that didn't yield anything. She's in her late 30s and feels lost. Her mother gets her a temporary teaching position in the local Catholic high school as the theater arts teacher. It's a difficult fit for Matty who is Jewish and who seems to have received the ire of Jillian, the soccer team coach who's won 13 consecutive state championships for the school. The two develop a combative relationship in which Matty refuses to be intimidated by Jillian, unlike the rest of the school. Then the principal informs her that Jillian will be working along side her as co-director of the school's musical.

The enemies-to-lovers, butch-femme romance was a pleasure to read. The writing was strong, especially for a debut; the character development well done; and the author successfully used the issue of religion as a plot point conflict. It's unusual and so refreshing to read about a Jewish MC whose family, while not religious, is notably culturally Jewish. This is rare in Sapphic lit.

I look forward to more from this author and highly recommend this book.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book.
It features 2 women who have both returned to their home town after trying to make it in their chosen careers elsewhere. We are clearly told the reason for Mattie's return but Jillian remains a mystery. She is a mysterious ice queen - who shows herself to be vulnerable and just trying to protect herself.
This book shows the difficulties in living your life while teaching in a Catholic high school where staff sign to agree that they will not do anything in their lives that could be considered to be unsuitable. The catholic code has to be kept.
The women are from different religious backgrounds (Jewish and Catholic) with different levels of religious observance and belief.
Jillian drives a 1991 Audi Quattro - that was my teenage dream car (funny how when I could actually afford one I didn't even consider it).
This book could teach so many life lessons as you see them unfold on the page - and not just for the 2 main characters - there are also the pupils, other staff and their families.
I did have a sense of dread as I read through it wondering what was to come - but that is obviously a sign of the quality of the writing.

It has an epilogue - which I am rather fond of.
This shows a future that is being enjoyed, both by the main characters and some of their pupils - as life goes on and people grow into themselves.

I highly recommend this.

Astounding debut novel!
This story has well a crafted plot trajectory with clever twists I didn't see coming. My initial impression of how the story would go, based on the opening chapters, was mostly wrong; I started the book with some apprehensions and ended up in love with the story, its characters and the author's writing skill. Main characters Jillian and Mattie needle and challenge each other, push each other's buttons, get under skin and into faces and so on; the dynamic between them is electric even when Jillian has moments of being less than likable. Several times you could almost hear the record needle scratch before the showdown kicked off between them. Dialogue is snappy with some harsh but mostly funny quips and zingers tossed between, and at, various characters thru the book; I was snickering more often than not. There is some drama and a few moments when younger characters are cruel but the bulk of the book is funny, the romance both hot and sweet. There were a bunch of Yiddish words and expressions I wasn't familiar with so maybe have an online dictionary or internet search access handy while reading to look them up if their meaning is not clear in the context they're used. The story ending is great, well paced rather than rushed after the climax; a real denouement as well as an ending I have not yet read in lesfic before. It's both original and true to the characters. I got attached to at least one character and highly suggest that you have tissues or a handkerchief close by to catch stray tears leaking from your eyes; I didn't expect to cry but well, the characters made me, thanks to their antics. The wild parallels within the story and callbacks in the dialogue indicate to me an author who is meticulous in outlining the story arc(s) in order to have multiple levels of enjoyment in the story without missing any key information.
I really hope author Carrie Byrd has more stories to tell and publish (ideally soon!) and look forward to reading them when they're available. This is an impressive debut novel that shows a talent for thoughtful storytelling that feeds the spirit, heart, soul, and brain.

I find this book difficult to review as I can’t seems to wrap my head around it.
I struggle a bit with the (internalised) homophobia disguised as religious beliefs, the utter arrogance and bluntness and often times just simple bitchiness of a character and just the entire romantic storyline.

This book is lust at first sight, or is it? We have a very successful football coach who stops at nothing to win and an actress out of a job come theatre teacher at a Christian school. Out and proud theatre people don’t do so well when they need to hide themselves. I struggle with how everything and everyone find their place, while also wondering and wanting to know more, get deeper into it. It was a confusing experience. I guess I liked the book? You just need to be into theatre, hiding yourself and your romance and epic reveals.

This book… made me feel so many things. I cried. My heart was overwhelmed with emotion. Carrie Byrd is so talented with her writing, I can’t wait for future books as I will absolutely devour anything Carrie writes in the future. I fell in love with Mattie and Jillian and loved watching their connection spark up and ignite. The story weaves a beautiful tale from past to present. It feels entirely relatable for any queer person with religious trauma. It also feels like justice experiencing the characters overcome so much adversity and SPOILER ALERT… still get their HEA. Loved this one. 5 stars no question. The spice factor was also top notch. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

I think I may have just found my next favourite author. Loser of the Year is a stunning debut novel by Carrie Byrd. I loved watching the sparks fly between down but out Mattie and high flying Catholic soccer coach teacher Jillian. Mattie is a newly divorced ,Jewish actress forced to move back to her home town into her parents home and teach theatre in a Catholic all girls school while keeping the fact that she is a lesbian hidden, in case she gets fired. Jillian may be a force to be reckoned with in their community but Maggie doesn’t take a step backwards when Jillian tries to railroad her into getting what she wants.

The chemistry between the pair is sizzling as we watch them work together to produce a musical, that changes many lives. Although we see all this through Mattie’s eyes, the reader still feels all that Jillian is experiencing. It’s beautifully written. I could not put it down, so enthralled I read well into the night to finish it. With an interesting secondary cast of youth, I wonder if we will see them in future novels, I hope so. This was an opposites attract, enemies to lovers, work place romance that I feel I will read many times. I loved it. Hoping Carrie Byrd has more stories to tell soon.

The tension. The chemistry. The steam. Oh my… I could not read this book fast enough even though I wanted to savor it. There are so many layers to the story that keep the reader completely engrossed every step of the way. Jillian was the perfect balance of ice queen, dominant and vulnerable, and Mattie was confident, true to herself and so caring. They were the ultimate match. Cannot recommend this one enough. How it’s a debut is mind blowing to me.

From a distance there are a lot of reasons that Loser of the Year shouldn’t have worked, particularly as a debut. It feels a bit like someone who’d never touched a needle and thread jumped straight to attempting an elaborate, wildly-technical tapestry that would be difficult for even the most experienced artists to pull off—and then succeeded beyond measure, making it look effortless to boot. While unquestionably a romance first and foremost, LotY weaves a narrative that deftly, thoughtfully, and lovingly grapples with the complicated intersections of queerness, religion, family dynamics, and the choices that are made—or taken away—in settings that don’t allow for a person to exist fully-integrated at those points of intersection.

Our POV character is Mattie, a Jewish lesbian returning to her hometown to teach theater at a Catholic school post-divorce and lack of career success. She immediately finds herself irritated yet intrigued by Jillian, the bombastic and demanding soccer coach whose winning streak allows for arrogance. Their immediate chemistry is unmistakable but dangerous due to the morality clause in their respective contracts (yes, this is a thing!) which, in short, makes queerness a fireable offense. This forces them to communicate through a language that so many queer people have had to learn: subtle cues, hidden meanings, and careful, layered gestures that fan the flames in a deliciously old-fashioned slow-burn. Rooted firmly in Mattie’s POV, we’re also left trying to get into Jillian’s head as the tension between them builds and finally bursts in an emotional, revelatory, and immeasurably hot masterpiece of a scene. One of Carrie’s strengths is in capturing physicality and using figurative language to bring familiar concepts into sharp, surprising relief, with prose such as "the woman who’d decided to bite into Mattie’s thin life and take the best strip of it for herself" and "comprehension felt like a lick between her legs". Needless to say, the sex scenes are 🔥🔥🔥!

As someone who really loves the unraveling of repressed characters, I reveled in the slow unfolding of Jillian Reed. The brash, almost satirical persona from the beginning gives way to a woman who cares SO deeply and is doing all that she can to make herself small enough to fit into a life that’s not quite hers, using her larger-than-life persona as cover. Other characters, ranging from the ghastly school principal to Mattie’s parents, serve both to round out Mattie and particularly Jillian as characters but also capture a range of behaviors, perspectives, and personalities that many queer people are familiar with—the pleasantly useless “ally”, the loved ones who don’t quite get it but are trying, and (to quote Taylor Swift), the people who “try and save you because they hate you”.

Beyond the primary romantic arc, one of my favorite things about this book is that it reads as a love letter to students. Mattie and Jillian’s students aren't just there for the plot—they're essential to the story. I adored characters like Izzy (a queer student with a sweet growth arc) and Emily (the most delightful theater kid representation I could imagine); most of the moments that made me laugh out loud involved them and their peers. The reciprocity of relationships between students and teachers is something dear to my heart, and celebrated in spades in LotY.

I’ve gone on longer than Jillian at a press conference. In short: please give yourself the gift of this book. In her debut, Carrie Byrd has written a love story that runs not parallel to, but is intertwined with, Mattie and Jillian’s own journeys of growth, healing, and acceptance. To root for Mattie and Jillian's love is to root for them to individually thrive as whole, unfractured beings, and (spoilers!)—there are no losers on that front.

Thank you to NetGalley and Ylva Publishing for providing this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Mattie Belman has reluctantly come home to teach at St Rita High School.

Jillian Reed runs the soccer program with a iron fist, and Mattie finds them clashing over the players getting special treatment.

But when the principal forces them to work together on the play, Mattie starts to see another side to the woman.

I rather like that Jillian has a reputation for being hard and ruthless, and Mattie eventually figures out it's actually more awkwardness and drive.

Good, solidly written book. Apparently her first, so much to look forward to. Mattie and Jillian are sweet, the students are realistic and moderately adorable, and the characters ARCs are engrossing.

4/5 stars.

It was a delight to get a chance to read Carrie Byrd's debut novel. Great love story, well written and so emotional. Fantastic to see the ice queen Jillian melt and finally open up to the possibility of loving another woman. Also great to see that Mattie and Jillian break free from the very conservative view the catholic school they work at and also help the students there to evolve. Me living in Europe cannot believe this type of contract is still allowed in a country like the US.

Thanks to NetGalley and Ylva Publishing for the ARC.

This debut novel was an incredible reading experience, so compelling and intelligently written that I wasn’t ever tempted to drift off. Something that struck me was the way this story touched on how the gay community was affected by the politics and homophobic beliefs ingrained into people by the rules of the church and its policies that create harm in the innocent souls who can’t conform to its rules nor handle the guilt.

We met so many wonderful characters who had pertinent roles in this story, including the sweet non-binary student Izzy, but our two mains were Jillian and Mattie. They both carried hurts and disappointments that brought them back to their hometown in Northeastern Pennsylvania to start over again. Jillian, the athlete, had a short stint on the U.S. National Woman’s team and returned to lead St. Rita’s high school team to win thirteen state championships.
She was loud, brash, arrogant and loved to boast about herself and her championships. At first impression she reminded me of Jane Lynch‘s character in the television series, Glee. Jillian, among whose burdens included the inability to please her religious mother, was a closed, complicated person deeply inside the closet.

Mattie was Jewish, learning the ropes of being in a Catholic school, and after a failed lesbian marriage and a failed acting career, also returned to live with her parents and become St. Rita High School’s brand-new Theater Arts teacher. Mattie was out and proud, but being the new temporary teacher who badly needed the job, didn’t talk about it and tried to keep a low profile.

The author created a romance that was not only slow burn for the characters, but slow burn for this reader who couldn’t wait for the outcome to unfold. The attraction was immediate for Jillian and Mattie. How it all came together was simply brilliant writing by Carrie Byrd. She showed the many layers that Jillian was entrenched in and how Mattie, holding her ground, undeterred, slowly chiseled through. That’s not a spoiler because you have to read it to experience how good it is!

There was something very unique about this book; so much wonderfulness. It was a joy to read and I loved it. My thanks to NetGalley and Ylva Publishing for the arc in exchange for my honest review.