Thank you to NetGalley for this Arc! I rate this story 4 stars and 3.5 chili peppers for spice. I have loved all the Spires books so far and I think Alfie and Fen have been my favorite love story so far! There is so much angst and I love the dramatics. Love all the edits to the original story and the wonderful content in the back of the book.

Guys with a shared past: one realizing the errors of his ways and another trying to get by after the loss of his mother.

Story: 3 Characters: 3 Engagement: 3

"He found me when I most needed to be found and helped me find myself again."

Highlights:
- 2 different lives reconciling their past
- Shows struggles of each trying to figure out the life they want
- Kindness and support and fumbles were all genuine and true to real life.
- Poignant lines about deep feelings and life

Lowlights:
- Slow moving in the first half
- So much back and forth and torturing themselves about what was right

Notable quotes:
"I only have so much space in my heart, so I have to prioritise what upsets me,"

"that's called life. Wanting things, and not being able to figure out how to get them. "

"It was at times like this that he really wished he smoked. Or did coke. Or whatever gave you an excuse to slip out of the room when you needed to."

"I don't converse. I contemplate the meaninglessness of existence."

""But it feels lonely without someone in the world who knows who I am. Not just everything I pretend to be."

"He's always been like this, this axis pulling the world into shape around him. But now it's all for me, and it feels exactly the way I used to daydream it would."

""So you're saying you admire my commitment to looking like an idiot?""

"a friendship as familiar and comforting and slightly shabby as a favourite coat,"

"Alfie, you're so much more than you pretended to be." "Well. Aren't we all?""

"Joy and sadness and pain and love collided in Alfie's chest like some kind of terrible motorway accident."

This book was kinda boring tbh. I read it and then pretty much forgot what happened. I didn’t hate it but it wasn’t meaningful

I have enjoyed other books in this series, but this one unfortunately wasn't for me. I have a history dealing with bullying and I don't enjoy bully redemption story lines, so I was unable to read this title when I realized that was Alfie's storyline.

I'm sure it will be a great story for other readers.

Devoured this book. Alfie and Fen have such distinct developed personalities that I felt like I knew them in real life. And the ANGST!!! Definitely checking out other works from this author.

I tried but I couldn't with this one, unfortunately.

The cover initially attracted me to the book and after reading the synopsis, I was convinced that it had the potential for a good enemies to lovers. I didn't expect the bully trope at all. I was actually expecting some kind of mishap in the past like a lovers spat.

I tend to avoid books with bully tropes and this one just wasn't working out. I did see some reviews saying this wasn't a bully romance but I think it really is. While there wasn't on page bullying, it's discussed well enough and is a subject of focus often enough to be one. Anyway, wasn't for me.

Thanks to the publisher for this ARC!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ A Stunning Reissue with heartfelt author annotations—Alexis Hall Does It Again!

Pansies by Alexis Hall is an emotional, deeply resonant LGBTQIA+ romance that delivers everything you could want from an enemies-to-lovers, opposites-attract love story, with a beautiful dose of found family thrown in. This new edition, reissued as part of Hall's beloved Spires series, comes with the incredible bonus of the author’s annotations—giving fans and new readers alike a rare, behind-the-scenes look into Hall’s writing process and the thought-provoking details behind the characters and plot. These insights added so much depth to the reading experience, making this edition an absolute treat!

At its heart, Pansies is the story of Alfie Bell—a seemingly successful man who's clawed his way up to the London elite, only to realize he’s left behind a life of lies. Coming back to his small town, he’s forced to confront his past, especially when he runs into Fen, the flower shop owner with a vibrant personality and pink-tipped hair. But here’s the twist: Fen remembers Alfie all too well, and not in the way Alfie would hope. Their history is steeped in childhood cruelty, unrequited love, and the lingering pain of past wounds.

The chemistry between Alfie and Fen is off-the-charts, sparking with both tension and tenderness as they navigate their messy, complicated history. Hall weaves these tropes—unrequited love, enemies to lovers, opposites attract, and found family—so seamlessly that you can’t help but be swept away by Alfie and Fen's journey toward healing and redemption. The romance is raw and emotional, full of both the heartbreak and hope that makes Alexis Hall a master of the genre.

Content Warnings: Hall doesn’t shy away from tackling heavy themes, so readers should be aware of content warnings for homophobia, bullying, grief, and the death of a parent. These topics are handled with sensitivity and add an authentic layer to the characters' emotional landscapes.

While Pansies is part of the Spires series, you can definitely dive in without having read the others. It stands strong on its own, with a narrative that's both self-contained and beautifully expansive, showing us how the past can shape and sometimes sabotage our hopes for the future.

A special thank you to NetGalley and SOURCEBOOKS Casablanca for the chance to read this heartfelt reissue before its official release.

If you’re looking for a romance that packs an emotional punch, with characters who will make you laugh, cry, and cheer for their hard-earned happy ending, then Pansies is the perfect pick! Don’t miss out on this gorgeous, annotated edition—it’s one that fans of Alexis Hall will absolutely treasure.

Thank you to NetGalley, Sourcebooks Casablanca and Alexis Hall for allowing me to ARC read for ‘Pansies.’

First off, this cover is so gorgeous.
This is another excellent offering from Alexis Hall. Following Alfie and Fen, ‘Pansies’ is a well written romance that details love, forgiveness and self-reflection/ discovery.
I thought the story flowed well, I loved seeing the character growth in the characters. I loved the north-east setting, also. It’s nice to see somewhere such as South Shields written about as opposed to the generic ‘London/ Edinburgh’ settings books often use.
I felt captivated by the unlikely love between Alfie and Fen from the get-go.
Be advised, this book featured sex scenes, so if that’s not your thing, either skip them, or don’t read it.
‘Pansies’ is worth the read for those looking for a feel-good romance with great character development.

3.5 stars, rounded up to 4 - Alfie and Fen’s love story is one that hurts a bit, but the Spires series has always delivered for me and this one is no exception.

Alfie Bell ends up back in South Shields for his best friend’s wedding after years making it big in London. When he meets Fen James at a bar, he has no clue who he is and definitely doesn’t remember their questionable history from school. But their attraction and chemistry is undeniable and they end up drawn to each other even though things are incredibly awkward and uncomfortable considering their past.

Honestly I was a little put off at first knowing that this was a past bully romance but I think this was done really well. Alfie grows a lot throughout this book, in addition to his growth off the page in the years passed so that definitely helped. I definitely felt for Fen throughout - he was so torn about his feelings, especially after Alfie started to redeem himself and get under his skin again. When they communicated, their relationship was so much fun to read, but it was a bit of a slog to get to that point at times with so much back and forth, misunderstandings, lack of communication, just a whole lot of fighting with themselves about a lot of things.

I liked how well these two fit together even though they couldn’t be more different - their dynamic was sweet when they were on good terms with each other and that got me through some of the more frustrating moments. This was an interesting addition to the Spires series and, while it wasn’t one of my favorites, I still enjoyed getting to know these two.

Pansies is a very realistic LGBTQIA+ romance novel. Even though it's an updated version of a previously released book, it's still relevant today. It addresses so many issues; bullying, loss, trying to live up to others expectations, ignorance/hate from people you love, and so much more. Alfie and Fen have to navigate these while trying to hold on to each other.

I love the enemies to lovers aspect of this book, where Alfie was Fens childhood bully. They both have to come to terms with the past and move on to be together. They both have to figure out what they want their future to be like.

Alfie Bell is doing well in life he has everything he wants the salary, living quarter and the car of his dreams. But Alfie is smitted with Fen and he everything going on for him which is attractive. The both ran away from their home town and not Alfie tries to make things right.

For whatever reason I just could not get into this book, I enjoyed some other books by this author but this was just a miss for me.

I'm sorry to say that I couldn't get into this and DNF:ed it after aboyt 200 pages. I didn't feel the characters or the plot. Thank you to Netgalley, the publisher and the author for a free e-arc copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I loved Alfie and Fen's story. The bully and victim now all grown up made for a riveting tale. Alfie behaved horribly to Fen but his upbringing was hard. Fen refused to stay in the closet and now Alfie is desperate to make things right with Fen. There was so much internalized fear and hate inside Alfie and even though his past behavior was wrong I couldn't help sympathize with him. The two together just plain worked and the writing was poignant.
A beautiful book that I completely recommend.

Pansies by Alexis Hall is a deeply emotional story about a connection that is not the best timing, a bit messy but beautifully romantic. I love the conflict between Alfie and Fen, that connection between them even though they start at odds but most of all, what I like is how beautifully honest it is about heteronormative expectations, grief, societal beliefs about how men should be and how toxic those ideas can be.
Alfie is a very straightforward man and I like that the novel is told from his point of view. It is a clever narrative element to add insight into Fen by giving us his letters to his mother, however and even though most of the story we see Fen from Alfie’s eyes, both characters are compelling and the emotional connection between them clear from the beginning. I love how Alfie struggles with how he was raised and the underlying toxic beliefs he holds about being a man and being gay. I love how he overcomes this with Fen challenging those beliefs. I also like how much he helps Fen heal from his grief. The characters are messy, authentic and beautiful because they aren’t perfect. The ending is a perfect one for the pair of them, where they get their happy ever after.
If you love romances that are deeply emotional and complex, with messy authentic characters, I completely recommend Pansies. Alexis Hall is one of the best writers out there with novels that are compelling and layered romances with interesting characters that I love to revisit time and again. If you haven’t read anything by Alexis yet, try this one. It is beautiful.

Soft DNF. Maybe I will try again in the future.

I like Alexis Hall, especially this series which I have enjoyed immensely. The themes of this book resonated with me and they were so important. The theme of comp-het, what happens after you come put and you have to keep finding what you actually want to be instead of simply surviving in the role society assigned to you. I loved this reflection. The other themes, including grief, were as important. I also like the setting, which isn’t cosmopolitan London or sophisticated Oxford but South Shields and the conflict between needing to escape your hometown to find yourself and recognizing there are things you still miss, even as a new version of you, and other that keep hurting.

My problem with this novel is mainly that it’s too long. Alfie used to bully Fen at school and this is painful to see and read and the slow pace of the narration doesn’t help. I think for this particular book the new edition needed to be slightly shortened in a way that didn’t impact the quality of the book but actually enhanced it. Of course being a re-edition the point is having more material, not less.

I won’t give up on this book but I need to be less tired mentally.

Thanks to Sourcebooks Casablanca and NetGalley for the ARC.

Giving this one a 3.5 out of 5. Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.

Ok y'all... If I zoom out and look at the overarching story, I adored Pansies. It is a bully-to-lover, kinda second change romance but not, and features a lot of emotional growth and crying of the male characters. Both Fen and Alfie have to do a lot of introspective thinking, both sorting through different flavors of trauma. We love a good male cry session and men showing feelings.

However, there were several instances during the story where I almost DNF'ed it because Fen and/or Alfie were just being plain stupid. There is no action in the story, so all of the conflict is rooted in communication, or a lack thereof. Fen MULTIPLE times lashes out at Alfie in anger out of a place of self-preservation, and while some of those times are due to Alfie being pushy, some of them are just Fen not acknowledging his own pain and not dealing with it in a healthy way. Alfie, the former bully who has never been forced to ask himself WHY, decides out of the blue he wants Fen and goes out of his way to more or less stalk him after being explicitly told no.

Its frustrating because there are some absolutely beautiful moments between these two as they help each other build a new life.

I got an e-arc from NetGalley to give an honest review.

DNF @ 27%

Gosh I really hate Alfie all throughout 27% of the book. This bully to strangers to lovers is not clicking properly for me. Fen should have pride and dignity. Alfie should have not been so stubborn and selfish because he was the ex-bully to the ex-victim (Fen). If someone who bullied you came back to your life, the logical way to react is ignore that person; and when he's pushy, you would stand your ground and rather say, "There's nothing else to do. You bullied me and it's better to go our separate ways, permanently." But hey, Fen wasn't able to stand his ground because Alfie was too pushy. The fact that they started to get to know each other "better" was because he was pushy (just like in the past when he 'was' a bully) was disgusting (sorry for the term). What icks me more is you can see how traumatized Fen was because of Alfie which made it harder to continue. The way Fen described how Alfie was in the past is the same as Alfie in the present.

I am so in love with the Spires series. Each featured character is so well developed and nuanced, so real. Artie is a different kind of character than I’ve interacted with before. He’s got a little bit of anxiety and uncertainty, but he’s so confident in so many ways. He was popular in high school, well liked, has a high powered and well paying job. He’s kind of an idiot, really, especially when it comes to queer issues. Artie puts his foot in his mouth so many times, offending Fen and others with his questions and comments. I know he means well, as he is the main character so I see his thoughts, but, from an outsider’s perspective, he’s offensive enough that I might not put up with him. I do feel that Fen forgives Artie too easily, that he makes allowances and glosses over some very questionable things. But Fen is selfish too. He wants companionship, he wants sex, if anything. He appreciates someone to talk to who isn’t his dad. Who better than his childhood bully who he had a crush on? Seeing Fen grow to understand Alfie, and understanding Alfie through Fen’s eyes did make Alfie easier to tolerate at some points.

Artie does redeem himself over time. Though he’s pushy and way too confident, Fen wants at least a little of what Artie wants. And Artie being so pushy actually works in his favor because Fen would be fine just working in his flower shop, living his life the way he has been and running himself into the ground. Well, he wouldn’t be fine and would eventually spin out without interference but without Artie, I firmly believe that Fen would still be maintaining the status quo. Also, the confidence results in spectacularly failed DIY projects, which provides much needed humor as well as an excuse for Alfie to connect with his father again.

Aside from the wonderful complex characters, I also loved the humor and the accents! Alexis really knows how to set the scene. I enjoyed the writing of the accents so much, reading parts out loud to get a handle on how words were being pronounced. I smiled and laughed and rolled my eyes so many times. Pansies is a wonderful addition to the Spires series and a great book to read as a standalone. I can’t wait to see what comes next in this series! It is the best light-hearted but also deep romance I’ve read out there and I love being able to absolutely breeze through a book but also take in every word. It’s such a comfort in these trying times.

4.75

"Pansies" is officially in my top three favourite Alexis Hall novels. Right behind "Glitterland" and "Waiting for the Flood": all of them Spires novels, yes, I know.
I think this series, this kind of romance, is where Alexis Hall truly shines for me: their words, the character building, the relationship and emotional arcs... I love everything about the Spires world, and despite truly loving only 3/5 of the Spires novels and novellas now out in the world (yeah, I wasn't keen on "For Real" and "Chasing the Light" was despicable), I'm OBSESSED with this series as a whole. There's something truly magical about it, and I'll be forever grateful I finally decided to take the plunge and dive into this wonderful, emotional, interconnected universe.

Back to "Pansies"... I was a bit worried initially, because like I said, "For Real" wasn't that great for me, and because AH is always a bit of mixed bag: some things they write manage to change the course of my damn life; other things make me want to become a banshee or smash my bedroom in rage/frustration. I think its mainly because their brand of humour is slightly too mean for my liking, so when we finally get an MC like Alfie, who's an idiot, yes, a trying-to-redeem-himself ex-bully idiot, who's also, most importantly, real and relatable and messy and flawed and precious and human and loving and gentle, I definitely don't stand a chance.
Alfie's a walking contradiction of messiness, internalized homophobia and emotional suppression, but he's also a work-in-progress and while he, also, still does hurtful, shitty things at times, he isn't mean and that makes a difference to me, in terms of loving a book and its protagonist.
Or, I think, he's held accountable for the hurtful stuff he says, by his author yes, but also, by Fen and mainly himself, and that makes a world of difference to me from, say, Luc *seething noises* (okay, yes, maybe I shouldn't constantly bring up the BM/HM world, but this is my review and I'll do as I please lol) (also, I'm still bitter about HM, can't you tell? lol)

Anyway, back to "Pansies"... I loved it. It's a magical, emotional chunk of a book, and it flows like a goddamn dream. I wasn't ready to leave Alfie nor Fen anytime soon: I loved them so, so, so much, and I adored seeing their relationship blossom.
I never know what to think of a bully/victim romance: in theory, it should make me uncomfortable (and this one did, in the sense that it made me think really hard about accountability and the way people can change, and also about the fact that I've never forgiven my childhood bully, and I probably never will, and that's okay too!), but in practice, I love a good grovel in my romances and an MC trying really hard to earn back trust is what I live for. Yes, I'm an angst girlie.
I think Hall did a MARVELOUS job at portraying this particular dynamic, and at portraying Alfie and Fen trying to navigate the world of hurt Alfie inflicted on Fen when they were children: it's realistic and very human, packed with contradictions (and unapologetic at that; humans are wonderfully complicated and messy, and romances SHOULD reflect that too), ups-and-downs, and a boatload of "I'm trying, I'm not sure it will be enough, but I'll try anyway". I loved that aspect of their relationship, and I loved seeing how human both Fen and Alfie were in their struggles to overcome their shared past.

Their romance was fabulous: I was obsessed with how obsessed they were for each other from the very beginning. I love two characters who are absolutely WHIPPED for one another, and that's both Fen and Alfie. They made me swoon and blush and sigh and growl in frustration and then swoon some more. I loved their conversations and I loved seeing them slowly open up to each other: everything about their dynamic never felt forced nor unrealistic; it just felt very human, but also, very, very magical too.

As individuals, both of them shine so much. I loved Fen: I felt really close to him, despite not having his POV chapters, and it was kinda hard seeing myself in him, in his grief, in the fact that he doesn't seem to recognize himself anymore and he's kinda stuck and he really doesn't know how to move past loss and get a semblance of a life back, and it was also kind of cathartic and very emotional to do so too. He's more on the spectrum of Hall's "mean, prickly characters" I was describing before, but he also holds himself accountable and he definitely knows when he's lashing out out of anger/spite/hurt, and that makes a world of difference as well. Anyway, I really loved him.
I also adored Alfie with my whole heart: he's that special kind of character that ALWAYS manages to burrow themselves in my heart. Stubborn, quietly clever, competent but also a freaking mess too, a walking contradiction of confidence, delusion and crippling insecurity; like Fen, he also lashes out, but he's also, so freaking gentle he made me want to tear my hair out; and squeal in my pillow. He's trying, so so so hard, and UGHHHHH, I loved that so much.
I don't know what to do with myself now: I mess being in Alfie's head.

I think this book would have been a full five-star rating, if only a couple of things had been addressed a smidge more: mainly, Alfie's own pain and past. I was waiting for the moment he and Fen finally addressed the big elephant in the room (the fact that Alfie's been practically, quietly, shamefully disowned by his parents, and he's hurting so much because of it), but that moment never came, and it made me sad. Lots of Alfie's own internalized homophobia, his relationship with his parents, his brother, his town, hell, even his exes, is left unsaid (or, actually, Alfie does say it, but in his head, and it's never touched upon with Fen) and that was a shame. I kept waiting for that moment, but it never came.

Oh well, like I said, this is a small niggle I had, and it didn't take away from my enjoyment of the book: I still don't know what to do with myself now that it's finished. I'll probably spend the next few years until Dom the Dom's book and Niall's book, re-reading these books. I cann0t wait (also, where do I sign a petition to get Greg's book too?).

TWs/CWs: homophobia, slurs, childhood bullying, death of a parent, assisted suicide, grief.

Many thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. This is my honest review.