Although admittedly the premise of this book is not something I would seek out by myself, I would read Alexis Hall's grocery list and consider it a five stars. Though there were some moments that felt like a hit or miss, overall the exploration of family, of grief, and of course, of love, weighed out any grievances I could air. Just an overall fantastic read.

Alexis Hall has become a go-to for quirky and sentimental m4m romcoms with a twist. Sometimes the characters are easy to connect to, others they are not. Pansies, the 4th in his Spires series, presents a former school bully and his victim who reconnect years later. One recognizes the other, but not until they sleep together does the second realize who his liaison really is. Fen and Alfie have several rows but find a way to fall for one another, and it's a lovely romance... but there's a lot wrong at the core. Perhaps messy like real relationships? I enjoyed the friends and family members in this one more than the two lovers coming together. But I will eagerly await book 5 and 6 in the series, already committed by the author, revolving around side characters from prior books.

Pansies by Alexis Hall was such a GOOD book. Ugh, I love Alexis Hall's writing. He definitely knows how to make you feel things. I thought the character dynamics for this book was so unique and I could definitely see how it could potentially not work but it worked so well! It's well-written, you feel for the characters and you want things to work out but at the same time, you can't help but wonder HOW can they work out? I loved it. If Alexis Hall writes it, I will read it and most likely rave about. This was no different.

I found the pacing slow and the plot a little uninteresting. I couldn’t feel the spark between Fen and Alfie. I really disliked Fen’s character. He was a little confusing with how he would react one way to Alfie and then immediately change in the next second. The writing does a poor job of setting the environment of the scene. Overall, this book wasn’t for me.

This review will not be posted on my social media.

Alexis hall has a way of telling stories that grips you, and a bully looking for redemption a decade after high school from the man he’s falling in love with is a concept that was at once adorable and tough

When I saw this next instalment of the Spires Stories was available on NetGalley (via Alexis Hall’s account), well, to say I literally jumped to request it was a huge understatement.

The Spires Stories are all stand alone books so you can read any of them in whichever order you like.

Pansies follows the story of Alfie and Fen who have a complicated history as kids thrown together by chance, desire and connection Alfie, at first doesn’t understand. Both dealing with their own problems they find comfort in each other. Can Fen learn to forgive and can Alfie prove he’s not the same boy who made Fen’s life so miserable all those years ago?

A story about love, grief, forgiveness and coming to terms with the person you are, even if that person isn’t who you (and others) thought you should be.

Alexis Hall’s books always make me feel all the emotions, I laugh, felt sad and rooted for these two to get it together until the very end. One of my favourites!

3.5/5

ARC provided by publisher through Net Galley in exchange for an honest review.

PANSIES is an outlier when it comes to Alexis Hall books for me. Typically, I love their books. The Spiers series in particular has had some stand out books for me. The last one, FOR REAL, might be my favorite Hall book hands down. But I also believe that not every author writes for every one of their readers. Different topics appeal to different people and the like. Before this novel, I had never read anything even remotely close to the bully trope. I do think it differs from the enemies to lovers trope tremendously, as I think there is a more equal playing field when it comes to power and animosity. Whereas in a bully romance, the power is usually more one sided. Coming out of this novel I can confidently say I do no like bully romances.

PANSIES features many of the things people loved in Hall’s other books in the series. Two people set adrift in the world and looking for something that they find in each other. It includes Hall’s stellar mastery of the craft of writing and is chock full of emotion and grief and pining. These are all things I enjoyed in the previous novels as well as this one. I have no qualms with the writing.

What I didn’t like was the romance itself (ok that’s a lie I saw the appeal and divorced from the bullying aspect I thought it was sweet). So, what I get from a bully romance is the initial tension between the two romantic interests stems from the animosity the two had for each other. And that’s what seems to be happening here. Alfie never really apologizes for what he did to Fen and Fen reads as though he’s being bowled over by Alfie’s attempts to get with him, smothering any protests he might have had about being with Alfie. The romance doesn’t feel earned? Alfie also seems to be dealing with a healthy dose of internalized homophobia that he slowly works through throughout the novel, and it colors a lot of his interactions with the people around him. I do not blame him for feeling this way but the way he handles some of these out bursts left a bad taste in my mouth. It is also never explicitly said what Alfie did when bullying Fen all those years ago and while that doesn’t matter because bullying is bullying, it matters when Fen is bringing it up and Alfie is constantly downplaying his actions and his involvement. This is my stance on this book and this particular trope, but I loved Hall’s last romance that contained an age gape romance that many people did not like. It is all subjective.

This is all not to say I did not like the characters themselves. I think Alfie does a lot of growing throughout the novel and it’s sweet to see him reconnecting with his parents and his old friends. Fen also grows by accepting help and learning to live with the grief over his mothers passing. I liked the parts of this book that weren’t entirely focused on the romance between Fen and Alfie. The last 30% of the book did pick up but again I kept coming back to the origins of the romance.

This is my favorite of the Spires novels. I loved it years ago when I first read it, and I loved it now rereading it.

A refreshing take on a bully romance, this is a great example of Hall doing what he does best: giving us a lovingly meandering queer romance that deftly navigates realistic ups and downs. Did the third act seem a little thin, reasoning-wise? Sure, but it was still enjoyable.

I love Alexis Hall’s writing. Pansies is her latest book and it did not disappoint. This was a great book!

I loved this book and Alphie and Fen’s story so incredibly deeply! The initial twist at the beginning caught me by surprise and I was hooked from the moment onwards. The characters had complex and relatable personalities and flaws. This is the first book I’ve read from this particular Alexis Hall series and it was such a joyful experience. I’d recommend it to anyone who wants an authentic exploration of the queer experience from different perspectives.

Thank you to Sourcebooks Casablanca for this eARC! I am so deeply in love with the Spires series and this was such a great addition to it. Fen and Alfie's dynamic is so complicated and layered and delicious to dive into. They have such a good balance of snapping and getting their anger out then immediately breaking down into sobs into each others arms. What a concept, your childhood bully coming back into your life and falling in love and making things right and treating you the way you have always deserved. Can't wait to add this one to my bookshelf.

I am loving the Spires series so far! I read Glitterland and immediately skipped to this ARC. I can't wait to go back and read the others as well!

This is one of those "hurts so good" kind of books. There is a lot of angst, anger, grief, tears and so much more going on in this story, but if you can power through it, there's some sunlight and beautiful flowers on the other side.

Alfie is back in his hometown for his best friend's wedding, when he hits on a man at a bar. The man has an odd reaction, but eventually, it leads to the two of them going back to Alfie's hotel. But what Alfie doesn't realize is that he's actually met Fen before.

Alfie and Fen's past relationship (I don't want to give too much away) wasn't a good one. And there's a lot of baggage for them to work through. Alfie hasn't acknowledged his sexuality as a gay man for very long, and he's grappling with who he is vs. who he thinks he *should be as a man. Meanwhile, Fen is also grieving and trying to run a business all on his own. It's a lot for anyone to handle!

Alfie and Fen are so perfectly imperfect. They hurt each other a lot. Even with the best of intentions, they say the wrong things. They snap at each other and yell and cry and walk out. And some parts are really hard to read, especially when Fen is helping Alfie challenge his outdated/incorrect views of manhood. But real people deal with these things too, and I appreciate the importance in showing that.

This book is also full of flowers, road trips, British food, disastrous DIY, and a goth teenager who made me laugh every time she appeared on the page!

I've listened to this audiobook before, but was happy to have the opportunity to read the ebook of this new edition of this book. I really love the character dynamics in this - when the characters know each other from school and one used to bully the other, there's a LOT of self-reflection and character growth needed by both parties to allow them to attempt a relationship together. Alfie goes through a lot in terms of internalised and external homophobia, guilt about his past hurting Fen, reconnecting with his family and his roots, and realising he's not happy where he is in life. Fen has to deal with the grief he feels for his mother, self reclamation, and the conflicting feelings of attempting to be with someone who once bullied him (who he'd always had feelings for and resented himself because of it). It's quite a complicated dynamic to attempt, but Alexis Hall does it so well, weaving grief, humour, comedy and drama together to make a wonderful story.

I was exhausted from work, and my head was full of cotton wool, so it was a great time to read one of Alexis Hall’s romances. Sometimes, a book is a much-needed distraction from daily life, and Pansies definitely delivered.

I know this is an older one, but I hadn’t read it yet, so when I found this one on NetGalley with the new cover, I immediately downloaded it.

Sweet. That’s the word that comes to mind when I think of this story, even though the underlying themes are darker. Alfie has bullied Fen in the past, and the setting in northern England is more gritty, but still, the cuteness is all over the book, and the flower shop adds even more sweetness. I really liked Fen, but I had to warm up to Alfie for a while. The moment I connected to him, though, I started to cheer the two of them on and smiled so many times.

3.5 stars rounded up to four.

Thank you, Alexis Hall, for clearing my head with this book!

OMG y'all, my Alexis Hall era continues with another BANGER. I was pretty much in love with Pansies from the first chapter. The premise is so interesting - a guy goes back to his hometown and unknowingly has a one night stand (and falls head over heels in love) with the guy he bullied in high school. While the romance is complicated and sweet, what's most interesting about this book is the discourse on queerness, especially figuring out your sexuality later in life. The writing is impeccable, the banter is spot-on, and the spice is excellent - this is a must-read.

Oh my goodness, Alfie is such an amazing character. On the one hand, he's amazing and so perfect for Finn - he's romantic, sweet, and tries really hard to listen to what Finn wants. But he struggles so much with who he was in the past and the way he pictures himself in the present. He KNOWS he's gay, but his internalized homophobia makes so much of his daily life a struggle. He desperately wants Finn, and he wants to show him that he does, but he's still so stuck on norms about masculinity and heteronormativity that sometimes he cannot express himself in especially healthy ways. And oh gosh, poor Finn. The guy has REALLY been through a lot - I absolutely cannot blame him for his actions at the beginning of the book. I'm still a little surprised he kept agreeing to take Alfie back after the things he did. His grief is so visceral - but I kind of think that it's possible that, even though his life is falling apart, being in that place in his life is also what allowed him to forgive Alfie (and keep forgiving him). And y'all, the CHEMISTRY between Alfie and Finn - it's so RAW and real and so freaking hot. This series has some pretty hot spice (this is NOT closed door), and Pansies is no different (GAH, the car scene? Phew).

At this point, I'm really not even sure if I can pick a favorite Spires book - they are all so different and amazing! Pansies is set in South Shields, which is apparently where Alexis Hall grew up, and I loved learning about yet another English town that I wouldn't even know existed otherwise. I'm just so freaking impressed and absolutely desperate for more!

3.25

I don't know if I have an author that's more hit or miss for me than Alexis Hall. When I love his books, I adore them, but if I don't love them then I can't stand them. Here, we finally have a middle of the road book for me. I struggled with the beginning because I didn't realize this was going to be a second chance/former bully romance. Which I guess shame on me because it literally says that in the description, but I'm a simple human: I see an Alexis Hall book and I have to try it.

As it is, I think this is my second favorite book in this series, following [book:Glitterland|60754391]. Once I got over the childhood bully thing, I really liked both Alfie and Fen as main characters. As is typical of Alexis Hall characters, they are messy and dealing with hardships in their lives but the way they come together is quite lovely. I didn't love the third act breakup here, because I don't love third act breakups on principle, but it was blessedly short and did actually make sense.

While this is the last of the previously independently published books in this companion series to be republished by Sourcebooks, Hall is contracted to publish two more and I am intrigued to see where he goes next.

Swoon. It was such a pleasure to read this again (now with annotations). I just love so much about this story, but basically ALL THE FEELS.

Is the third-act breakup predictable and perhaps unnecessary? A little. But it also kind of works.

I rarely bother to highlight books, but there were some lines/moments in this I just had to call out:

"And there, in that secret, private darkness, where nobody could see, and nobody would ever know, he absolutely didn't cry."

"That loving something wasn't the same as owning it."

"'And maybe we could do this all the time, until y'know, we're not here anymore. Cos...well...that's what love means to me. But it doesn't mean anything at all really, without you.'"

Bottom line: highly recommended! I'm not posting on Goodreads yet, because the new edition isn't showing up there yet.

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️.75
Spice: 🌶️.5
Alfie and Fen are such a romantic pair and very sweet with each other. I thought it was a little difficult to read the accents at times and felt like I missed some of the dialogue/story based on that. However, I still loved the book.

I just adore this series by Alexis Hall and this book in particular is a gem! I wasn’t sure if former bully Alfie Bell could be redeemed, but this book exceeded my expectations. I very much loved Alfie’s arc in this book. The portrayal of grief in this book was also quite beautiful. I also loved how this book shows us parents of adult children.