Thank you to NetGalley and Simon Element for the gifted e-arc, and to Simon Element for the physical ARC of The Motherload by Sarah Hoover. This book was a journey, and I almost immediately DNF out of sheer loathing of the author and her privilege and attitude (not to mention her husband's). I stuck with it for a few pages more, and began to see the nuance beneath the privilege (some of it might be the author's attempts to be humorous but she lacks any humility besides using her Midwest upbringing as a reason to assume she understands life outside of the art world.)

That said, I was stunned by how real her portrayal of postpartum depression, anxiety, disassociation and psychosis are and how unmoored new mothers feel without "support". Again, it's hard to understate how privileged she was with a night nurse and the ability to sleep through the night without tending to baby, and even her ability to get out of the apartment without the baby in those early days. I actually gave birth the same day or possibly the day before the author, in the same year, so I felt her experiences as my own experiences. Her descriptions took me back to the recovery phase, the shocking loss of freedom, the imbalance I felt in reconciling who I was and who I had become, the fears of harm coming to my baby, the rage, etc. I didn't have much support outside of my husband and hadn't ever been to therapy. I see so much of myself in Sarah Hoover's descriptions (minus her weird baby shower at the Chateau Marmont).

I think if readers can get through some of the disconnect, this might really help a new mom who thinks she is alone in feeling this way, and while I wasn't as off-kilter in my own connection with my baby, I think that will strike a chord as well. I watched a few of the author's interviews and she points out that things can change after only a few months, and she did start to seem more relatable and funny when I watched her rather than read her words.

I would tentatively be interested in hearing more from Sarah Hoover, with a bit less naval-gazing. I honestly wanted to know more about how her sister and friends handled their birth experiences. I don't want to read any more about her husband. He was the least likeable person in the book, and there aren't many likeable people. Except for Sharon, the night nurse.

When I was reading the book, I did have to pause and look up who the author was. I was not surprised to see she was a rich white woman because that's who the book sounded like the whole time through. It always sounded sort of flat and soulless? I was sort of excited when the opening chapter is her admitting (in different words) that she doesn't feel like she's bonding with her child, but the actual soul of the book never seemed to actually come together or feel like it was something that was for me.

It's not poorly written. And I think it could be for some people. But this just isn't the book for me.

Thanks to Netgalley for the free ARC.

Not for the faint of heart.
I found the authors stories impactful if not quite relatable.
This book won’t be for everyone and could run some folks the wrong way or be more stressful than helpful, but for others the frankness will be helpful and even liberating.

I admire the story this book is trying to tell but I just felt pretty early on that it wasn't for me! And that's okay! The writing style reminded me, a bit, of my favorite types of pieces from Vulture or The Cut - but I prefer those small bites and not a whole book at once; while this is something I can't see myself investing tons of time into pouring over at this point I do hope to come back to it once I have a child

The Motherload is a really interesting and honest memoir about Sarah Hoover's experience as a mother with postpartum depression and anxiety. The memoir starts in the first few weeks of her being a new mother after having given birth to her son, Guy, struggling to feel much of anything at all. The book goes back and charts her relationship with her now husband, Tom, how they got together and all of her insecurities in their relationship. She then chronicles her experience with being pregnant as well as being a new mom, the unexplainable and overwhelming anger towards her husband, herself, her mother, and the medical establishment for the way that mothers are so often treated. Given the subject matter of the book, this is not a light read, but I did appreciate Hoover's honesty with these difficult subjects.

I really enjoyed this memoir, but I know that it won't be for everyone. I think that Hoover has a really unique voice that I was able to enjoy, and I really felt her personality shine through her writing. She discusses her experience with trauma at the hands of her doctors and the men around her in a really straightforward way and does the work to unpack how these experiences impacted her as she became a mother, which I found to be interesting. I will say that this is not going to be a book for anyone who does not want to hear any sort of criticism or negativity about motherhood or babies, because that is obviously something that the author has experienced. I will also say that I'm a bit surprised that Hoover and her husband are still together after this, but I appreciated her honestly about the downfalls of their relationship. This will be a good one for those who enjoy frank memoirs or memoirs about difficult subjects.

I think this book is going to be very polarizing - it's extremely real, raw, and unfiltered. However, the author's circumstance is so removed from most people's realities. She is upper class, in NYC, and has access to more resources than the average person. Despite all that, I still found a lot of this book relatable. While I do not have kids, my friends have begun to expand their families, and the concept of motherhood is on my mind much more than it ever has been. Hoover's story helps shed the light on all the sides of motherhood, and touches on things that a lot of people just don't talk about. I really appreciated that her book did not attempt to sway me either way; it was truly just a focus on her experience. I appreciated the honestly and vulnerability about pregnancy, motherhood, mental health, and her marriage.

Not every book is meant for every person, after the first two chapters I knew that we didn’t have the same path nor experiences in life. While at times I was sympathetic to Sarah’s take on motherhood, I don’t feel the average woman can sympathize.
She is from an upper class system with so much more at her disposal of healthcare that she took for granted. While many mothers struggle with post partum depression they often can not even see a therapist much less get the medication necessary…. Also doing on their own rather than being able to wallow and have a full time nanny take care of your baby?
I am not a person who likes to DNF a book but this was one at many times made me want to just stop. As I inched closer to the end of the book, the last two chapters were roughly 2 hours of reading…. As a person who loathes long chapters this felt like extra torture to finish this book that already felt like it was written to make me feel better about the misgivings of motherhood just to show me how a privileged woman and socialite felt she needed a prize for figuring out she needed medication.

Talk about baring it all. A new mom shares her fears as she spirals out of control, terrified of not being able to bond with her baby and feeling neglected by her husband, neither of them realizing that she’s suffering from acute postpartum depression.

This is not for the faint of heart, but I do think it would be eye-opening for those who’ve suffered from anxiety during pregnancy or postpartum depression, to know they’re not alone and help is available. As a young woman, the author was immersed in the NYC art world with a steadily rising career at a gallery when she met and fell head over heels with an artist who would become her husband. Behind the international trips, fancy hotels, and exciting life with a successful artist, Hoover was deeply insecure and when she got pregnant and later, when the baby arrived, she quickly plummeted. Had it not been for a straight-shooting, caring nanny who took care of their baby and of Sarah, and later, therapy, there’s no telling how they would have survived individually or as a family.

Hoover is deeply vulnerable and candid about her struggles as a parent and wife, her mental health. Having kept a journal, she was easily able to recall her feelings, from a traumatic birth event (and previous experiences that led up to it), friends who listened patiently, to intensifying jealousy, and fear. As a reader, whether you can relate to what she went through or not, the level of emotion is intense and will keep you turning the pages. I’d say, go into it without judgement, just because someone’s experience isn’t yours, doesn’t mean you won't come away feeling enlightened and empathy.

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon Element for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to finish this book. It had been described to me as being similar to Anna Marie Tendler’s memoir, which is why I was so excited to read The Motherload. I found Hoover unbearable and unrelatable. At one point early in the book, she described her desire to go out partying with friends of friends of friends as “socialism” based on an out-of-context quote. Ultimately I had to put this book down because I found the author so annoyingly disconnected from the world.

The Motherload by Sarah Hoover is a raw and intimate exploration of motherhood, art, and identity. As a reader, I appreciated Hoover's candid reflections on balancing creativity with the demands of raising children, which felt both relatable and refreshing. Her essays offer an honest look into the pressures faced by modern mothers, making it a thought-provoking and empowering read.

Overall a really interesting read, something I think a lot of women will relate to in one way or another.

I admire the hell out of memoirists who are willing to probe the parts of themselves that don’t align with our societies’ long-held value systems. Sarah writes not just about motherhood, but also childhood, her career, her marriage, and being a woman in unsparing, honest language. It always feels so cathartic to read about women who have unconventional feelings about parts of life that we are expected to be uncompromisingly devoted to. Sarah’s writing was a pleasure to read, and I found myself frequently highlighting her words. Sarah’s is a privileged life, but she writes about her mental health, her insecurities, her failings, etc. in such raw language, I felt extremely connected to her and her writing.

This is the book I believe many women are searching for to validate their feelings as mothers. Especially becoming a mother and all that happens to your body, heart, mind, and soul. Hoover writes in a raw and authentic voice. Heartbreaking but hopeful too. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.