I was very excited about this book, especially as a married woman with kids. However, it felt unrelatable and disconnected from what a majority of the population experiences.

I really wanted to be interested in this book but I felt like the the writing was trying so hard to be prestigious. It's really not my vibe.

Honest, insightful, very funny and snarky—this will resonate with so many mothers, and should also resonate with some fathers as well. The writing is solid and the structure makes this one a fabulous nightstand book to keep returning to!

The Motherload, Sarah Hoover's debut memoir about post-partum depression and motherhood is the best kind of memoir. It's raw and honest and confident. I love memoirs that make me feel like I know the writer better than I know my closest friends. I didn't suffer from post-partum depression (my depression kicked in while I was pregnant), but we are alike in that motherhood doesn't come naturally to us. I have very complicated views of motherhood and what it can do to a woman's identity. Motherload is a brave glimpse into Hoover's early experiences of motherhood. I appreciated how similar and different our experiences were. I've yet to encounter anyone whose motherhood journey matches mine, but I'm grateful for all who tell their complicated truth and add diverse viewpoints and experiences to our shared conversation. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

In a time where motherhood is plastered over social media, and every picture will result in thousands of people telling you how wrong you are, this book provides a solace for that depressing realization that motherhood is not what books tell you it is.

Mothers get told what to expect when expecting, but very few mothers get told that the aftermath of birth and those immediate months are a time of hell. While there is love for your child, maternal instincts don't always kick in immediately.

Hoover explores what it feels like to fall into the hole of anxiety, fear, and distance that develops after birth, and it finally feels like it's ok to admit this. Hoover's raw voice was so refreshing and made my own experiences not feel like I was a horrible person. She is honest and raw, and it finally feels like all those horrible experiences of the early days of motherhood feel real and encouraging.

I think this book explores a really important topic, which is complex feelings around motherhood and PPD, but ultimately, I am not the right audience for this book as someone who is single and childless. Additionally, I felt the writing style (independent of topic) didn't really work for me. It felt scattered and a bit hard to follow.

After reading The Motherload, I have a mix of emotions. Anger is one, confusion another, and sadness is in there as well. Hoover tells the story of her first year as a mother, as well as the history of her life before, with focus on the relationship with her husband and family.

The confusion comes from how she could have let herself fall in love with such a doubtable man. All the signs were there before she had joined her life with this man, but because of her own low self-value, she fooled herself into thinking she should hold onto what she had. And as someone who has felt that I understand fully her mindset, but I wish she had been saved before all of this had occurred.

The anger is a result of how her support system failed her in so many ways before and after the birth. Her parents are clearly just titles, and her mother in particular makes me so angry. Her father, while less infuriating than his wife, is still an example of man doing the bare minimum. Hoover's husband is a whole other basket of eggs and will solidify a lot of female reader's decisions to remain single and child free. He is the most shallow, unaware individual, all the while pursuing other women constantly throughout his relationship with Hoover, even when she is struggling at her worst with PPD and psychosis. Even her friends fail her, while in less despicable ways. But sadly, when Hoover needed help, most of the people in her life were dismissive.

Sadness is in play for all that she had to go through. Mental health is not taken as seriously as it should be in this country, and while Hoover can be obnoxious on her own terms, no one should have to suffer like she did.

I think everyone should read her story, if only to bring light to how women suffer when it comes to mental health, and certainly how ignored it can be after becoming a mother. We haven't made nearly as many leaps and bounds as we would like to think when it comes to women's mental health and post-partum care. And maybe her story will help bring awareness to it.

I would like to thank NetGalley and Simon Element for the advanced copy in exchange for my honest review.

I'm not sure this was 100% for me. Either way i was intrigued. It fell flat for me unfortunately. The pacing was what i had the biggest issue with.

I didn't expect to LOVE this book or relate to the author's experience so much, but that's what good writing does! I thoroughly enjoyed this account and have recommended it to numerous friends, mothers and not.

Even as this is a memoir and it's written from the point of view of and about a real person, I am going to try to review without making any direct judgments on the author, herself as it feels cruel. In terms of the structure of the book, I really did not enjoy the first chapter and actually did put the book down and almost thought of not picking it back up. The first chapter is strangely talks about her Baby Shower but apparently it took place AFTER her baby was born and she was living alone in a hotel in LA with her child and nanny whilst her husband and home were in NYC. How did she, an Indianapolis native living in NYC, have enough friends to invite to a baby shower after her baby was born whilst her husband wasn't around and basically the shower involved people smoking cigarettes, drinking copious amounts of alcohol and basically throwing a party that had nothing to do with a baby. Then when her husband does come to the hotel after he is done with his art work, he turns, the baby falls and she loses her mind on him. That's the first chapter in its entirety and it was bizarre and completely unrelatable. I think there are a lot of points in this book that she paints as seeming "crazy" and "shocking" like paying for night nurses and having round the clock care and outsourcing every part of motherhood and chores, which she phrases as if might be shocking to the reader but as most of her readers are going to be working women in the coastal cities, I don't think anyone is going to be that shocked about it. Having round the clock and exceedingly expensive help is no longer the bourgeois flex that she thinks it is. I also felt that although the main message of the book somehow wasn't about how motherhood completely changed her life but rather that being a mother just didn't allow her to do all the things that come with youth and a lack of responsibilities that a lot of people experience in their twenties. I get it, most mothers mourn their lack of freedom and carefreeness being able to just go out and get about their lives without remembering what is needed by another human being completely dependent on you but also - the things that she misses are mostly going out partying at night and getting drunk and talking about art? I wonder if she realises that even if she had not had a kid in her early 30s most people around her would have or they would have stopped partying for various reasons and she would still be mourning that life and identity anyway even if she didn't become a mother? It was also a bit surprising as this book was published 7 years after she gave birth but it reads a little like journal entries that must have been written in the early years of becoming a mother so they come across as immature and seem incongruous with her current life. In any case, I appreciated having access and a glance into the life of what motherhood is like and what thoughts and conversations occur between a specific group of NYC party girls turned mothers as I have often wondered what lies beneath the Instagram perfect image they present. Well now I know and it's illuminating because at the end of the day, as she acknowledges a lot of her problems are so privileged compared to others out there but it is human nature to still despair and complains in life. I mean, I can't really blame her that she lives a sheltered life and the only things she can find to complain about are so small because it a weird way it's not her fault that her life is comfortable. Didn't relate at all and felt like a vanity project.

dnf at 19% because I have never seen someone so out of touch like truly crying with a silver spoon and wiping them off with a satin handkerchief. I liked some of the quotes about her insecurity but the majority of it just felt like the most lavish pity party

i really admired the honesty of this book, but i wanted more self awareness. the author and her husband are both public figures who have received a lot of backlash for the way they treat others, and i thought this book's exploration of post-partum depression contained a shocking lack of acknowledgment of the women who deal with this issue without live-in nannies or other privileges.

that said, the writer is talented and entertaining. i would read more from her.

This book left a bad taste in my mouth. Sarah Hoover complains A LOT about being a mother. I'm sure being a mother is hard work, but it's the WAY she complains about it that irked me. She sounded so stuck-up and self-righteous. I ended not liking her in the end. She was so entitled and annoying. I don't know how this woman has a husband and friends.

This is a memoir by a woman who suffered from severe postpartum distress and PTSD brought on by her pre-natal (mis) treatment and then the traumatic birth of her son. However, she only figures this out after much shame and trying to hide her feelings, when she needs therapy and intervention nearing a breakdown.

Sarah Hoover is a wealthy, art world socialite, along with her successful art world husband. They seem to live a charmed life of socializing with the New York and LA upper crust. But when Sarah becomes pregnant she doubts whether she can mother. When the child is born she does not bond with him. She feels terrible yet hires a full-time nanny to raise the boy for the few years she suffers from the aftermath of her pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum symptoms. Problems develop within the marriage, she contemplates divorce. And during that time is when she bonds with her child, when she imagines it would be she and him alone, without the father in the home.

I've read reviews of this book shaming Sarah for her privilege, somehow feeling she has no right to the pain she felt that had nothing to do with ones' bank account. Any and many women experience this, regardless of social status. It is offputting to read reviews that bash her for that, for ability to hire help when she clearly is not in any shape to do it alone.

I hope more women will see through the frivilous attention to appearance, travelings, lunches and allow themselves to identify or at least have compassion for the author's experiences. I'm glad she wrote her book.

Thanks to NetGalley for the eARC.

The Motherload by Sarah Hoover is a heartfelt and thought-provoking exploration of the complexities of motherhood, identity, and personal growth. Hoover blends humor and vulnerability to present a candid look at the emotional and physical weight mothers carry. The story is emotionally raw and messy, and many mothers will be able to relate to this read.

I really enjoyed this memoir. It is written with a great deal of introspection and honesty. Sarah Hoover’s experience with motherhood and postpartum depression is messy and harsh and refreshingly honest. The vignettes within this book are well-organized and really allow the reader to understand and empathize with Hoover. There are moments where this book becomes overly reflective, and the narrative takes on an intellectual tone, which I found distracting. Overall, however, I genuinely enjoyed this memoir.

This book is really hard to rate. While I sincerely appreciated Hoover's unfiltered look into pregnancy, birth, and motherhood - I found her somewhat insufferable. She comes off as pretentious, spoiled, and very out of touch at moments. But on the next page she will be voicing such important information about motherhood and post-partum depression.

WOOF. This memoir was both hard to get through and hard to put down. Sarah Hoover paints such a brutally honest and raw depiction of her year-long struggle with Postpartum Depression and Psychosis, and it was a really compelling and heartstring-tugging read.

I rarely assign a star rating to the memoirs that I read - I hate sorting someone else’s most vulnerable moments into such a subjective rating. Instead, I’ll break this down into what I loved and what I didn’t:

LOVED
* Sarah’s honestly around not being the average mother - she is wealthy and has privileges afforded to her that most do not (ex. A live-in nanny, lavish tropical vacations, extended stays at the Chateau Marmont bungalow in LA).
* Her vulnerability around EXACTLY what she was feeling (this could be a trigger for people who’ve experienced PPMDs, read with caution) from wanting her husband to die to just how numb she felt about her son for the first year.
* Her ability to suck you into her narrative. Throughout this read, I really felt like I was there with her in bed, spiraling about the various facets of motherhood and marriage. Her writing is extremely compelling and even though the material was heavy, I was hardly able to put it down.
* The focus on the relationship with her mother and how it has shaped her view on femininity and motherhood. This hit me so hard and I highlighted a lot of passages about her relationship with her mom.
* Her dive into how her birth trauma and her past sexual trauma were connected and her healing through that realization.
* The art history! I had so much fun looking up the art she was referencing - it made the things she was experiencing feel so much more real.
* Her honesty in seeing her faults and wrongdoings, even when in the midst of psychosis.

DIDN’T LOVE
* Her husband. Full stop. The reveal about their marriage working out after the plane confrontation was shocking, as was finding out they’re still together and have a second child. Not to mention the allegations against him.
* Her friends. I wanted to throw my Kindle across the room when they basically talked her into taking her husband back. I cannot imagine a single friend of mine doing or saying what they did if I was in her situation.
* The way that the Medical Industrial Complex failed Sarah. This was perhaps the hardest aspect of the book to read, and with good reason! She was repeatedly gaslit and traumatized by her medical providers. It hurt even more to read this as a doula, knowing how different her pregnancy, birth, and postpartum could’ve been if she had a doula there to educate and support her. I was really glad to see her rally so hard for better reproductive care.

If you are interested in memoirs about difficult postpartum experiences, I would recommend this book to you, but with caution. Take care of yourself while reading.

It must take courage to share a personal story like this. The Motherload is Sarah Hoover’s memoir about having postpartum depression, but it is also about more than that. It’s also about her upbringing, self-confidence (or lack thereof), her relationship with her own mother, her past sexual and relationship trauma, and her marriage. Sarah and her husband, Tom, are really interesting people, or at least she presents them that way. I adore how she portrays their connection in the early days. It was heartbreaking to see how Sarah’s depression went unrecognized and ignored, and yet was really taking a toll on her life and her marriage.

I enjoyed Hoover’s memoir and am thankful that she was willing to share her story. The first chapter was kind of flighty and throws the reader into a chaotic situation where I wasn’t totally sure what was going on. But please keep reading because it is much more organized after that. Hoover’s story is genuine, and she certainly had a lot on her plate. I did not always agree with some the lifestyle choices, but am grateful that she got help and is telling her experience which may help others. Thank you to NetGalley and S&S/Simon Element for the digital ARC.

If you're interested in this book for the exploration and examination of one woman's post-partum depression, just know that examination (if it comes) will come from a ridiculously privileged woman who cannot write in a way to connect with the average person. I DNFed this book ridiculously early because the privilege was just so exhausting that I couldn't ignore it. This woman admits she was raised in an upper class family, and she ends up marrying a very successful artist. The little bit I read about her experience with motherhood showed that she had the privilege of being able to put her motherhood aside through a live-in nanny in exchange for drug use. I was interested in this book because I have a true fear of becoming a mother and learning I do not like it, and I know that Hoover would not be able to give me any insight into what my own possible experience would be like if that were the case. I am glad I realized this early on so I could put this aside and not waste my time.

The writing is fine, the substance is just exhausting to read.