This book offers insight into a world that very few people talk about:  children born into a family after the loss of a child.  Many times these children are referred to as "replacement" children, but these authors prefer the term "subsequent."  Sometimes these children can be regarded as inadequate replacements for their lost sibling, while others are considered to be a gift.  How these situations are dealt with are often based on the family dynamics and the ability of the parents to deal with their loss.

Some of the factors that play into the subsequent child's life include:  how the previous child died (accident versus illness), the age at which the previous child died (the subsequent child will eventually pass this age), and how the subsequent child eventually approaches their own turn at parenthood. They also have to deal with the family's grief over someone they have never met.

This book is very qualitative in nature meaning that the topics are dealt with by interviewing various family members who have experienced this situation.  The insights are very deep and meaningful, but are generally based on one person's comments.  The book does a great job of outlining many of the challenges these families face, but I would love to see a larger, more quantitative approach to this topic.  Perhaps there is another book coming with more projective data?

This nonfiction book is not an easy one to review, because it goes here, there, and everywhere. The main topic is usually one only found in fiction stories and movies—the life and feelings of a child born into a family of grief. Born into a family after a miscarriage, stillbirth, or death of a sibling. (At one point, it also looks at children born after a child with disabilities was born.) The childhood experiences of subsequent siblings range from really sad to really happy. The feelings of their parents range from really sad to really happy.

Some departed children are never talked about, some are never forgotten. Some subsequent siblings are seen as gifts from God or “rainbow children", while others are made to feel they are not as good or as smart or as attractive as the deceased sibling. The majority of the short stories told by those interviewed are painful, but there are also positive ones; as well as important lessons learned from having a childhood as a subsequent sibling. This book is part social study and part self-help. A truly interesting read.

Such a difficult topic to write about and read about but at the same time important. I enjoyed the various viewpoints and how the info was presented. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.