This should be required reading for every adult. It’s so good and really made me have to sit back and reflect. It’s powerful and makes you realize that community will save us but only if we open our hearts to also realize those that we don’t often factor in because they don’t align with us also are our community and we will have to work with them and find a common ground to move forward together towards liberation for all. Love is powerful and sometimes we forget just how much it is needed in even the most mundane of interactions. I also really appreciated Loretta’s honesty, the tips and advice and I have soooo many notes to continue to look back on and reflect upon.

Longer review to come, but this book has a lot of great food for thought and is especially relevant to online bookish communities.

Highly recommend!

I received an ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review

Calling In by Loretta J. Ross is a memoir, manifesto, and guide to a technique used in transformative and restorative justice, calling in. Weaving together her personal history with what is happening right now in our world on and off-line, Loretta J Ross makes a compelling argument for using callouts as a last resort in a decent amount of situations. Without being overly prescriptive and acknowledging nuance, readers can see how she came to the conclusions she did and make their own decisions for whether or not to take her techniques on board.

I had a feeling I was going to agree with a lot of the opinions presented here because I was already reworking my approach to social justice and thinking more deeply about how to be part of the movement forward. I was not disappointed and I appreciated how the book lays out why call-ins should be chosen. The most radical of all of the examples given was the author’s experiences with an organization of prisoners who were trying to unlearn their behaviors that harmed other people. While I have heard of organizations like this one before, it was a different thing to read it from the perspective of a survivor of CSA who chose to assist rather than ignore the mens’ call for help in becoming better.

Loretta J. Ross takes the time to analyze when a call-out should be done and how they can be used effectively without dismissing them entirely, citing examples like the #MeToo movement for why it is an important tool in our search for justice but isn’t the only tool we have. The approach given is one of compassion, even down to outling how people who are being called-in or called-out might panic and double-down but that doesn’t necessarily mean hope is lost for them to recognize the errors of their actions. ‘With love’ is a phrase she associated with call-ins and I’m probably going to carry that with me for the rest of my life as I try to do better with my own call-ins.

What I got the most out of this was how even someone who has such a long, productive career in social justice movements can still have come from a conservative background and made huge mistakes that seem big enough to completely oust someone from those movements forever. And yet after taking time to learn and continue to do the work necessary, she was invited back in. The aspect about her coming from a conservative home hit quite hard for me as I also came from a conservative household and have spent more than a decade trying to undo all of the things I grew-up hearing and accept that the work I have started will never be done.

Trigger warning for mentions of CSA, murder, and racism

I would recommend this to those who have already started their path to unlearning and are ready to deconstruct call-out culture and when it’s used more effectively and to those who have struggled to do call-ins themselves.

This book appeared at a pivotal time for me and I’m incredibly thankful that it did. As a creator navigating online spaces where call out culture is incredibly prevalent, Calling In forced me to reconsider the ways in which I interact with others online. Is what I’m doing helpful? Is it a positive use of my time?

Calling In serves as both a guide for HOW to call in and an examination of how calling out damages us and the movements we seek to support. In a time where collective movements toward liberation are becoming increasingly important, Calling In asks- are we doing more harm than good? Are we seeking that dopamine hit from calling out instead of looking to unite?

Calling In does an excellent job of providing insight, instructions, and reflections on how callout culture impacts us in a variety of ways. This is absolutely going in my “Required Reading” list!

*Calling In* by Loretta Ross is a powerful and thought-provoking memoir-manifesto that challenges the extremes of cancel culture and advocates for meaningful dialogue and reconciliation. Drawing from her extensive experience as an activist and survivor, Ross shares compelling personal stories and practical strategies for transforming conflict into opportunities for connection and growth. Her approach—calling people in rather than out—offers a refreshing perspective on addressing divisive issues with empathy and accountability. This book is both a profound personal account and a practical guide for anyone seeking to foster real change through compassionate communication.