I don't think I was prepared for what this book did to my heart. Holy moly. I finished it faster than I think I've ever finished a book. I just am blown away. By far this is Melanie's best work. I've enjoyed all her books and I am of course, a faithful listener to the podcast but I had no idea of her past and the things that she has gone through. Melanie talks about that in her book though....how social media can make you think that someone has it all together when in reality they are fighting dragons in the background. I didn't have the same childhood that Melanie had and didn't have to face the same struggles, but I did raise a daughter and felt every bit of the hard times that Melanie and Caroline went through. We are empty nesters or "free birds" now too but like Melanie said my heart is as full as it's ever been with thoughts of my children and the struggles they now deal with as adults. I feel like after reading this book I have some new tools in my tool box to deal with worrying thoughts or anxiety. I loved the way Melanie brought in scripture to back her solutions and described God's never ending grace and mercy to those who believe and trust in Him. I cannot recommend this book enough. It should be a required read for parents but it's also meant for those who have dealt with a toxic family dynamic and those who are searching for peace in a troubled world. I know it must have been a hard book to write but oh man, I'm so glad she had the courage to do it. My only recommendation is to have some tissues close by and don't try and finish it on your lunch break at work or else you'll go back into your office looking like a sad raccoon. Any waterproof mascara recommendations Melanie??

I have followed Melanie’s blog and podcast with Sophie Hudson (The Big Boo Cast) for the better part of a decade. What I’m saying is, I’m as much a product of them as I am of PBS. And I will listen to every word they say and read every word they write. That said, this may be Melanie’s best book yet.

In Here Be Dragons, Melanie describes the dragons her daughter, Caroline, battled in high school: mean girls. While helping Caroline, Melanie realized that she had been battling a mean girl her entire life - her own mother. This book explores complex family dynamics and acknowledges that sometimes the only way to heal is to cut off a relationship that’s become too diseased to ever be healthy. Importantly, Melanie points out that there can be forgiveness without reconciliation or restoration. And she gives her readers hope that God will give us beauty for the ashes of things that have burnt down.

Writing this book couldn’t have been easy. But its message is so important. I know this book will help so many people feel less alone and give encouragement to those who feel like parts of their lives did not turn out as they expected.

I received an advance copy of this book from the publisher. The opinions expressed in this review are my own.

It has been a long five years for Melanie Shankle’s fans since her last book but her new memoir Here Be Dragons has made up for the wait. Shankle is only author that I reread as her humor is one that makes me laugh regardless how many times I have read it. Here Be Dragons will also join my bookshelf for when I need a reminder that we all have dragons to slay and there is support as we do it.
Here be Dragons is different than Shankle's earlier stories. While she always invites her readers into her life, this memoir invites us into two of most difficult times. I have always wondered where her mom was in her stories and this book tells of the extremely difficult relationship, they, like many women, had. Her mother was the original mean girl in her life with jealousy and emotional abuse. She vows to break this generational trauma with her own daughter and does so, only for her daughter to face her own mean girls with her peers. There is no greater hurt for mothers than to see their child hurting and Shankle shares walking through this pain and ways to support daughters facing similar trials. She reminds us that, just like her stories, God is there to protect and comfort us when we face mean girls.
My close friend and I feel that we have raised our children, matured in our marriages and now are empty nesting alongside Melanie and her humor and truths. I am excited to share this book with her and others to give them hope in healing from generational trauma and hope in raising our own daughters when it seems we are alone.
I received a complimentary copy of Here Be Dragons thanks to Waterbrook and Multnomah through Net Galley, but all opinions are my own.

Here Be Dragons: Treading the Deep Waters of Motherhood, Mean Girls, and Generational Trauma by Melanie Shankle is a remarkably vulnerable memoir. I found this book so meaningful and I think many readers might resonate with the author’s experiences. I am grateful to the author for writing about such personal experiences because I know many people will benefit from this book. I received a digital copy of this book from the publisher with no obligations. These opinions are entirely my own.

“In medieval times, uncharted waters were marked on maps as Here Be Dragons to signify that no one knew what dangers might lie ahead. Melanie Shankle quips that the years spent raising our teenage daughters could be labeled the same due to the uncertainties before us.”

If you have ever dealt with mean girls, mother issues, or have generational trauma, this book, Here Be Dragons – Treading the Deep Waters of Motherhood, Mean Girls, and Generational Trauma is one to add to your list to read. If you haven’t and are a mother, you may still want to read it, so you can be prepared in case of possible dragons that you or your children may have to endure.

Melanie Shankle’s books are always an encouraging read. It is like sitting down with coffee with a best friend. She is a great storyteller who will bring you to tears one minute and laughter the next minute.

However, the things she has endured from her own mother are difficult to read and would be hard to overcome, but thankfully she had the right people come into her life to help her and also her faith in Jesus. She realized that she would need to break the generational trauma if she was going to be able to parent well. Thankfully, she did because her daughter, during her teenage years, ended up dealing with mean girls. They had to learn to stand strong. Sometimes, that meant being still, other times it meant standing up.

I know the trauma mean girls can leave, dealing with my own mean girls as a teenager and adult. Yes, it has impacted me in how I parent and how I deal with others. I am still a work in progress, so forgive me as I continue to grow and change. So, I am glad that Melanie shared these hard parts and how she and her daughter overcame those trying times.

There is much that can be learned during trying times. Making tough decisions, knowing when to fight or walking away, life isn’t always fair, learning to trust God, and things don’t always work out how you want. But yet, God has a better plan in the end! Melanie writes a lot on this.

It is a heartbreaking read but full of encouragement and redemption that only Jesus can do! So yes, there is a happy ending to her heartbreaking and enduring years!

Here are some of my favorite parts in the book:

Dragons you face will make you stronger and more resilient than you could have ever imagined before you found yourself among them.
Sometimes, the best teacher is the consequences of bad decisions.
So much of my religious baggage had been tied up in the hypocrisy I’d seen in my house and in the church, but what I realized as I began examining faith on my own was that Jesus is that thing that holds fast despite human failings.
Faith is not a fiddle to be solved but rather a journey our hearts are on, and God isn’t afraid of our questions or our doubts.
Don’t let the way other humans have let you down – or the ways you’ve let yourself down – cloud the goodness of who God can be in your life. We are people who wanted to create New Coke when there was a perfectly good Coca-Cola already.
Sometimes, there isn’t anything to gain by engaging with words, but there can be so much power in your actions. Show up, do the right thing, love with your whole heart, and sacrifice your own need to defend yourself when you know that the truth will eventually come to light on its own.
Sometimes, true healing can’t take place until you cut off the source of the pain.
Unless you deal with the root of any issue, it’s always going to repeat itself in some way.
Sometimes, the way to get through something difficult is to keep your head up, fix your eyes on God, and walk through it even when you feel as though all you’re doing is barely limping along.
If we choose to ignore our child’s bad behavior or justify it as kids being kids, we’re condoning every bit of it. Mean mothers will raise mean girls if we don’t stop the cycle.
Self-blame is going to be the default for so many of us as people gaslight us or even as we gaslight ourselves into believing things might be better if we could just be different.
Sometimes, we just need some time to work things out.

I could add more, as I have pages highlighted, but those will give you an idea of what this book is all about. She also writes on the issues teenagers are facing, the issues with gaslighting, social media, and some advice from her husband that he has given (which is spot on true and funny).

Here Be Dragons by Melanie Shankle should be mandatory reading for all parents. This book is spectacular on every level. I saw myself and my family on almost every page of this marvelous book. Generational trauma is something I have been struggling with and battling against since I became an adult. I like how Here Be Dragons is set-up. Readers begin with very honest and raw stories of Shankle’s tumultuous childhood told from the author’s perspective as a child. I especially appreciate Shankle’s sentiment that she struggled with her mother as a child, BUT she had no idea her childhood was different from anyone else’s. When we are children we think what we are facing in the moment is what everyone is facing. When I was a kid, sure, I hated a lot of what I was put through, but I genuinely had no idea my experiences were out of the norm. That realization came later when I met the man who would become my husband. I would tell him stories and his eyes would get bug-eyed big and he would start to tear up…that’s when I realized I grew up differently than the average kid and needed to work on some things that had been issues in my family for decades and decades. After the candid kid stories, Shankle moves into her teen and college years. Continuing with her honest storytelling, Shankle moves into those moments as young adults when we see clearly the issues, but we’re at a loss for how to proceed forward in a healthy way without causing undue hurt towards our families. We’re all born with an innate need to love our parents, but if they’re hurting us what is the correct move to make to heal from those wounds? Do we cut our parents off? Do we hold them at arm’s length? Is setting boundaries enough? I love that Shankle tells the reader the choice she made but states very clearly that everyone’s choice in this kind of situation is one of a kind. We can take solace from Shankle’s journey, but her journey and choices may be vastly different than what we choose for ourselves. And that is OK as long we are turning to God for the answers. After her young adulthood trials, Shankle moves into motherhood. This is where the real gems of the text take place. I, too, related to wanting a different life for my daughter. I wanted desperately to break the generational traumas and issues and cycles, and give my daughter a different, better path. This is where God comes in to play BIG TIME. I absolutely loved every single page in this book after Melanie’s daughter, Caroline, is born. Shankle’s clear reliance on God is my favorite aspect of this book, and the main point. We cannot break the shackles that tie us down, that keep us repeating horrible family cycles, unless God is our very center. Amen to that!

Here Be Dragons is a superior parenting text that I highly recommend. This single review cannot do this book justice. I adored Shankle’s sense of humor, honesty, vulnerability, and truth-telling. I also truly love that she goes back to God over and over again as the source of her true healing. Such an excellent reminder for us all. If you’re a mom or dad entering the teen years with your children, Here Be Dragons is absolutely the book you need to read. If you are a survivor of generational traumas and/or mean girls, you will also love this book. It will speak to your soul and will make you feel seen. Truly, I cannot say enough good things about this book. Purchase a copy asap. You will not be disappointed you did!

I received an advanced copy of this novel in eBook form from the publisher, WaterBrook, via NetGalley. I am under no obligation to leave a positive review. The opinions expressed in this review are my own.

EXTRAORDINARY GUIDE FOR SLAYING DRAGONS!

You can determine when a book has made a deep impression on your soul in several ways. One of the best ways is to create a list of the people in your life who need to read the words this author has shared from her personal life while you are reading it. Melanie Shankle has written an extraordinary book on dealing with the dragons we all face. I highly recommend it! Her premise for facing dragons is this: In medieval times, uncharted waters were marked on maps as “Here Be Dragons” to signify that no one knew what dangers might lie ahead. Shankle considers these modern-day dragons and has written this book to help tread the deep waters of motherhood, mean girls, and generational trauma.

Shankle writes her spectacular book in an open, heartfelt way that seeks to help readers face and overcome generational trauma with God’s help, lead our daughters to become the young women that God created them to be, to be warriors who are not afraid to stand up for themselves when they need to do so, to be tough and tender, to understand what it means to know they are priceless, to know they are loved unconditionally, and to make lasting impressions on everyone they meet.

Waterbrook and NetGalley provided me with a complimentary copy of this book. However, the opinions expressed here are entirely my own.