Member Reviews
This book hit deep in my soul. I am a caregiver for my oldest son, and I found myself relating so deeply to all the deeply raw thoughts and emotions shared. Being a caregiver is never easy, but always worth it. It helps to be seen and feel recognized in a beautiful novel such as this. Highly recommend. Thank you Netgalley for the ARC opportunity!
Such a helpful read! Highly recommend.
Many thanks to Netgalley, the author, and the publisher for my ARC. All opinions are my own.
Thank you to the author, She Writes Press and NetGalley, for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
This book of essays really spoke to me, as both my mother and my MiL are needing increasing degrees of help, or in the case of my MiL complete care at home. The author does not hold back on going through all the feelings - from feeling obligated and under pressure. to resentment, guilt at feeling resentment, anger at being taken for granted and unappreciated... and love and warmth and closeness. I cannot express how much the author's deep honesty, authenticity and relatability gave me courage to carry on. Care is consuming and exhausting, and knowing that you are not alone in this, that others have gone through it helps so much. Thank you again to Cindy Eastman.
Many thanks to NetGalley and She Writes Press for gifting me both a physical and digital ARC of this amazing book of essays by Cindy Eastman. All opinions expressed in this review are my own - 5 stars!
Cindy and her husband took her father into their home to care for him. And life as they knew it was forever changed. This book goes through the before, during, and after stages of being a full-time caregiver in your home and doesn't sugarcoat anything.
I cannot begin to express how much this book meant to me and I will keep it by my bedside and reread it often. I am living this life right now, as my husband and I brought my then 88-year-old mother to live with us. While I am grateful that she is in a place where she is cared for, to say this has been anything but completely disruptive of our lives would be false. For all the people who tell you that it is a blessing and how lucky you are to have this time with your mom, they have no clue how hard it is. She has been here 3 years and except for a one-month stay in a respite facility when I had to have major surgery, my husband and I haven't had one minute of alone time, an afternoon or evening away, or a good night's sleep since she arrived. While it is stressful if you have a relative in a facility, it is nothing like having them in your house 24/7. This book goes through all the feelings - from resentment to guilt to anger to love - and does it in such a relatable, humorous way. I could go on and on but suffice it to say that if you are living this life, you need this book. I feel like I need the author on speed dial.
Honest and powerful. I can relate in a small way.
Everyone needs to read this book.
Thanks to author, publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.
There were many aspects of caregiving described in this collection of essays that felt familiar to me as the sole caregiver to both of my parents and my husband over the past 10-15 years. Although I could relate to Eastman’s descriptions of how exhausting and consuming caregiving can be, I found myself uneasy with the overall tone of the book. Eastman describes in detail the day-to-day trials of providing full-time care to her aging and ill father in her own home, and she reminds the reader often of how difficult was for her and her husband to give up their way of life, their dreams, their routines, etc. While I appreciated the author’s honest reflections, her anger and resentment were off putting to me. Events in the lives of the author and her family members as well as details of their daily lives are repeated throughout the book, making me want to skip over parts with which I was already familiar. This was the first book I requested from NetGalley, and I thank them and Cindy Eastman for the opportunity to read an advanced edition for an honest review.
My heart goes out to Cindy Eastman, not only has she had an incredibly long journey of being a caregiver to her elderly father, but she also had to relive the experience to document the life this gave her in this emotional and candid book.
When reading this book, it's clear that becoming a caregiver was never in question for Cindy. She loved her Dad and therefore there was no option. As a caregiver myself (for my daughter - the other end of the generational scale), I can truly resonate with how that feels. No one can look after your loved one like you can as they don’t have the emotional connection. This makes life incredibly tough.
I would recommend this book to anyone in a similar position to Cindy as she does a very good job of explaining how the caring role feels to her and how she manages to deal with it.
My only negative is that the book was somewhat repetitive and covered areas of her father’s medication in too much detail. I would have much rather heard more stories about him and the wider family in the early years to really understand the true dynamic of the story. I did find it hard to relate to the individuals too much as there just wasn’t that much in depth information about anyone.
A huge thank you to Cindy Eastman and NetGalley for the ARC.
I appreciated the deep and coherent honesty of this book. To tell the truth about caregiving, especially at the end of life for a parent, is an enormous gift to readers.
The writer’s honest and authentic experience and bravery 5/5
The prose was not always my cup of tea; I expected more nuances and a fresh style at times. 3/5
thank you to netgalley, cindy eastman, and she writes press for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
i would give this a 3.5. this book was a bit difficult to read as someone who has been a caregiver and now requires caregiving.
i have been on both sides, there were many parts that was just hard because i remember caregiving for my nana in hospice with cancer. these parts felt profound and i could relate to them.
as someone now who needs a caregiver, it was hard to read some of the things, though i understand.
my lower rating comes from a few places. i didn’t find some of the content added much- this includes the obituaries, lists and amazon searches. it was detracting overall to what could have been a stronger book.
the strong points included the honesty and true nature of the book itself. you could feel the love and the frustration which is relatable.
A very raw and honest look into the life of a caregiver. Although redundant at times, I understand that these experiences and/or emotions were constant and I appreciated the author's openness regarding her difficult and unpleasant thoughts and feelings during this time of her life. The stories were personal and well-written - I felt as though I was reading a long message from a friend about her troubles and was appreciative of the opportunity to read about something so personal and complex. The information regarding how she would have liked family and friends to offer help and support was insightful, especially as someone who is watching someone else go through the experience of unexpectedly becoming a caregiver.
Thank you to the author and NetGalley for this ARC!
I found it difficult to connect to the author’s story in this book. Whilst I really appreciated the honesty and candour about her thoughts, feelings and actions, the book was often repetitive and the chronology of events was difficult to keep track of as the timeline kept jumping. Additionally, some inclusions, like the daily routine and Amazon search history lists, felt like unnecessary fillers because they lacked narrative and context. Even the obituaries, whilst a lovely way to memorialise people, lacked impact as they focused on individuals only briefly discussed and provided lengthy information irrelevant to the focus of being a challenged caregiver.
Overall, I think I wanted a deeper exploration of the author’s changing relationship with her father. It’s a short book and I often felt the interpretation of events was quite one dimensional. I never got a sense of Warren’s character beyond that of a cranky, old and forgetful blind man during the deterioration. Perhaps that is all there was to it, but it would have been lovely to have read more about other meaningful events or important conversations had with him, especially from different perspectives as well.
It’s clear one of the main love languages in their father-daughter relationship is acts of service. However, there is a little too much woe to really appreciate this as their interactions always feel so tense and strained. For this reason, it comes across as a love born more out of duty rather than compassion which feels incongruent to what the author states she was trying to convey.
So, unfortunately, not a book for me. That said, I want to commend the author on not shying away from the uglier side of the human experience as that takes courage.
Thanks to Cindy Eastman, the publisher and NetGalley for the electronic review copy they kindly provided. In response, the above review is my critical reflection and honest opinion.
If you are a caregiver dealing with an aging parent, this book will bring you a sense of comfort and the feeling that you are not alone. It is not idealized, and for that reason, a generous read. Cindy Eastman shares the difficulties full-time home care involves and will open your eyes if you are considering binging a parent to live with you. Recommended reading. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.
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This book really shows the raw reality that is caregiving. It is so romanticized in society that no one every talks about what the caregiver will experience or how their life also changes.
It's definitely going to be recommended to my group of caregivers, it helps that so many of them go through this and this is great for them to know they aren't alone