An insightful and important book about relationships. The authors position themselves on the trans/non binary spectrum and reflect on their personal relationship journeys, the influences of cultural backgrounds, disabilities and more.

Even though it’s 2025 and so much societal change has had happened within the last 50 years it is heartbreaking to know and witness how many steps we are currently moving back.
LGBTQIA+ rights, reproductive rights, gender and class of people in power.

Within this climate of crisis it is more than ever to read books questioning norms and traditions.

ased on the same format of understanding your sexuality and gender, this is the last in that series, how to understand your relationships. I really like the way that the authors explore each aspects of relationships from a LGBT perspective, breaking down and shifting the way that relationships are perceived and discussed. Each chapter takes an aspect, asks interesting questions to help you reflect and encourages you to take time to breath, think and maybe even journal in order to really discover your relationship wants and needs. I found the new approach to relationships refreshing and more representative than the usual heteronormative way of being. It is sometimes hard to change the way that culture has prepared us for relationships, so was glad of the space to think and come back to the book.

Highly recommended for anyone who wants to understand themselves better and who wants to see a more intersectional approach to being in relationship.

With thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This wasn't quite what I was expecting and I found it a little dense and hard to get through. Having said that it was very informative and contains a lot of useful statements. However, it just wasn't for me.

A lot to learn from…
Finding myself at the beginning of a potential new relationship and with lot of unprocessed feelings, I found this book to be more than I hoped for. Already the introduction intrigued me, as the authors clarify their qualifications to right this very book. A lot of other authors surely advertise themselves with their successful relationships and their professionalism. This book’s authors surely have the academic background but do now praise themselves for their know-it-all. Instead, they are willing to share their mistakes and what they learned over the years of their life.

From broad to specific
The book is divided in six chapters with different foci. After the already intriguing and familiarizing introduction, Alex and Meg attempt to define relationships. They then discuss some very common conceptions of relationships in the second chapter. We are already asked to engage with these statements and find the ones that fit our own perception. It is important to say that this book is not at all solely focused on romantic relationships. Instead, it explores a multitude of interpersonal and intrapersonal or even non-human relationships. I learned a lot about differentiation, mutuality, care, compassion as the basis for health adult relationships.

Chapter 3 we question the us embedding culture that shaped our understandings of relationships. It includes a call for cross-movement solidarity, which I adored! Chapter 4 and 5 are then digging deeper into one’s personal experiences and pattern. Thais part surely was intense but also immensely helpful. The authors took inspiration and resources from a lot of scholars to visualize and explain where, e.g., our insecurities come from and how they affect our relationships.

Reflect and breathe
Admitting from the very start that this will be an emotional journey, the authors provide many moments of slowing down and pausing. They do not shy away from intense topics like generational trauma and (emotional, etc.) abuse. They nonetheless recurrently utter with empathy that activities and reflection points are not mandatory. Instead, they invite the readers to engage with them if they have the capacity at that moment. Their language was generally very considerate and repeatedly included phrasings like“if that’s an experience that is familiar to you.”

I especially appreciated the multitude of different voices and experiences they provided so that hopefully everyone can feel seen and represented. Eventually, the authors discuss interdependence in the final chapter of this publication and allow us to imagine our relationship legacy on a greater scale, just as we have been influenced on very different levels up to this point. They allow us to understand these ways better and thus feel more secured in our own being. The authors additionally offer way more resources at each chapter’s end, so you can dig deeper into specific topics and concepts.

In conclusion,
This book surely allowed me (and will allow others likewise) to broaden my understanding of myself, my patterns, my insecurities, but also my understanding for other people. That is certainly not limited to romantic interests but friends and family alike. This publication is dense on theory but also allows a lot of space to reflect with this new knowledge on your own experiences and your future endeavors.

If you're not into psychological books, this book isn't for you. But if you are, give it a shot!

I myself liked this. It was a bit difficult to read sometimes cause some of the content is missing, such as certain graphs and tables.
Other than that, I really did appreciate the fact that the authors put you, the reader, first. Your own comfort is of high value in this one.

I loved how this was educative and also kind of a self reflection. The exercises are interesting and fun as well.
You don't have to read this book from front to back. It does help to understand certain parts. But if you want to dig into something specific, you absolutely can!

Overall, educative and pleasant. Enjoyed it a lot!

Not really the book I was expecting, but very informative none the less.

Thank you to the publisher and netgalley for this review copy

I found this a bit dense and hard to read. I skimmed the first few chapters but gave up at around 30%. Sorry.

This book was extremely thorough about many different types of relationships, though focused more on romantic/sexual relationships. I appreciated the depth of inclusivity and the stress that everyone will approach relationships differently. Despite this, there was a lot here that could apply to a large number of people and that I myself found helpful as well. I enjoyed the formatting of the book once I got used to it, with the little stops for reflection and the activities spread throughout. Additionally, I found the testimonials from people other than the authors to add some perspectives to the text. My only qualm was that it did seem quite long and quite dense and I did struggle to get through some of the sections. But overall, a useful and informative entry into the relationship self-help genre especially because it centers "non-normative" relationships unlike many other titles out there.

Although the authors write with a lot of empathy, kindness, and inclusivity in mind, it was hard to get into this book because the writing has a reoccurring issue of too much fluff and takes awhile to get into the substance of the book. Much of the content were long-winded and could be stated more succinctly. The constant cross-references (read more in chapter 3, chapter 5 talks about this…) as well as the constant reminder that everyone’s situation is different and will glean something different from the book (this is generally implicit from self-help genre) were distracting.

All in all, there is good content buried here but not the book for me.