That’s What She Said by Eleanor Pilcher
Rating: 3.5/5

Eleanor Pilcher’s That’s What She Said is an engaging novel that explores themes of identity, relationships, and personal growth, with a particular focus on demisexuality. The book does a great job of presenting relatable and realistic scenarios, making it easy for readers to connect with the characters and their experiences.

One of the novel’s strengths is its thoughtful and authentic representation of demisexuality, a topic that isn’t often explored in mainstream fiction. The book also balances humor and sincerity well, keeping the story engaging while addressing deeper themes.

If you’re looking for a novel that offers meaningful representation while staying grounded in everyday experiences, That’s What She Said is a solid choice.

This review has been posted to Goodreads and Storygraph on March 28th, 2025. Links provided.

I really don't like DNF'ing books but in this case I just could not force myself to continue reading after about 35% into the book. I was really looking forward to this book when I read the premise but pretty quickly I realized it was not going to be what I expected nor one I would recommend. While I loved the short chapters and I was looking forward to reading a story where the main character is demisexual, there was just too much I didn't like to keep me reading. For a book about someone who is demisexual, there is constant, and I mean constant, talk about sex. Now, I know this book is supposed to be about Beth's personal sexual journey, but my goodness is there literally nothing else to discuss? Is the fact that Beth is a virgin at 28 (which by the way there is absolutely nothing "wrong" with this!) her entire personality? Between the never-ending topic of sex and the constant drinking to get drunk, I just felt like there was no real heart or substance to this story. Also, I really could not stand Serena's character. So many things about this book just rubbed me the wrong way unfortunately. Hopefully it will find its target audience and be loved by others.

Thank you to Avon and Harper Voyager and NetGalley for the opportunity to read to an ARC of That's What She Said in return for my honest review.

I DNF at Chapter 6 (15%) because I wasn't really connecting to the characters. Both protagonists seemed kind of mean at times. I also couldn't figure out why getting a smear test would be article-worthy. I think I was expecting something very different based off of the book's description, which may be a "me" thing since I read more romance than general fiction.

I'll refrain from reviewing this on Amazon and Goodreads since I didn't get that far in the book before tapping out.

DNF'ed. I was really looking forward to a story with a demisexual FMC, but the prose is lackluster and the characters are difficult to connect to.

In That's What She Said, author Eleanor Pilcher takes us on a journey of friendship, sexuality, and self identity. The debut novel follows best friends Serena and Beth as they come to terms with themselves and their codependence on each other. In alternating perspectives, we weave around Beth's demisexuality and Serena's fear of any real connection.

The primary perspective in the book is Beth. Although Serena has her own story and perspective, even that is somewhat caught up in Beth's story. The main driver for the narrative is that Beth decides she wants to start exploring sexuality and get more comfortable with it, despite the fact that she is already confident she is demisexual. For those who don't know, demisexuality means that you don't feel sexual connection with people until you know them and have romantic feelings. In Beth's case, she is on the sex-repulsed part of the spectrum, which causes her discomfort in places such as Bachelorette parties. Serena, a highly sexual individual, decides to help Beth on her endeavors.

One of the flaws of the book for me was the strong focus on the medical science behind everything Beth was going through. I am familiar with asexuality and dilators. I do not need a step-by-step walk through, and given that I am not demisexual I didn't feel validated by Beth's story. It felt a bit too clinical for me to develop a strong emotional connection to the story. I think it could be an incredible book for someone on the asexuality spectrum to stumble across and realize there's other people like them, though.

Serena's story was about someone who used sex to detach from her emotions finally finding that emotional connection she was looking for. Serena is bisexual and not afraid to flaunt her sexuality. At times, her brashness about her sexuality is the same way she approaches her friendships, and this causes tension between herself and Beth. This is the heart and soul of the story and I wish it was the primary focus rather than the sexual exploits.

Although the book started out slow, the pacing picked up in the second half. I enjoyed that part far more than the former and I wish it had moved a little faster in the beginning. There were a lot of plot points that came together in the final quarter that definitely could have been stretched out for more of the book, while many of the earlier details could have been compressed.

Despite my complaints, I do think it's fun to see such prominent asexual representation in a book. The fact that it was combined with a bisexual best friend made it extra fun. I appreciate how inclusive the book felt and the way it attempted to normalize kinds of identities that we don't often hear about either in literature or real life. I would recommend this book to people looking for a better understanding of demisexuality or just to read about a character who's like them.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the arc

This book was not for me. I can't quite put my finger on what I did not like about this book, but perhaps I had a hard time connecting with the characters. Idk -- I just thought the plot was slightly boring. With that being said, I feel like I would still be open to reading more books by Eleanor in the future.

This story took me a bit by surprise in the best way possible. The writing was easy to read and digest. The plot was also very different from other novels I have read - it was a great outlook into different sexualities and underrepresented communities. The storyline is introduced very quickly, which I greatly enjoyed - you meet Beth, a demisexual and virgin, who wishes to explore her relationship with sex more. You also meet Serena, who is almost the exact opposite of Beth in those ways - confident, carefree, and completely comfortable in her sexual experiences. Truthfully, at first glance, you would assume the friendship dynamic to not really work out, but as the book develops you see how much they comfort and support each other.

As the reader, I thought I knew where this book was headed after the first chapter. That development continues on until about halfway through the book until the main conflict changes to the relationship between the two best friends, or in this case, the main characters - which I genuinely liked in terms of plot development. I really appreciated how this book talks about sex without making it smut, as well as showing a big development in a relationship with people that consider themselves very close. I personally felt like Beth’s personal growth in the book was a lot more gradual than Selena’s - Selena’s growth as a character was there, however seemed more instantaneous, which feel a little flat for me. However, the way these two characters come back together was very endearing and I am so happy that they got their happy endings. They were able to stay best friends and close, even when a few boundaries were put into place.

Overall, I genuinely was surprised about how much this book grew on me while I read it. Thank you so much to HarperCollins for the uncorrected proof!

Thank you to Netgalley for the arc. This book was funny. It's about two best friends with very different personalities and sexual preferences. One helps the other take charge of her life and conquer her fears of dating & etc.

Eleanor Pilcher did an outstanding job or writing a coming of age novel for the LGBTQ community. I have never come across a book about Demisexualism, and I find it a breath of fresh air when there is representation for all in books. I did think there was a large emphasis on Beth's sexuality in the book as if she had to tell everyone but there was a lot of progression in the end for her where she overcomes it. Serena I originally was bothered by but in the end she had major character development. Overall it has me entrigued and I would share it with anyone looking for diversity in their TBR.

Thank you to Eleanor Pilcher and Avon Books for the ARC of That's What She Said! I absolutely adored it.

From the very beginning of this story, where we found Beth uncomfortable and embarrassed at an overly sexual hen do and Serena swooping in to save her, I was immediately hooked. I related to both of them in different ways - Beth's anxiety and discomfort with sex, Serena's life-of-the-party attitude - that made me want to get to know them more deeply.

When I read the summary, I thought at first that this was a friends with benefits book... then I thought it was all about their wacky 'sexual odyssey' hijinks. About halfway in, though, it became very clear that this was not a surface-level read, and oh my gosh how refreshing it was.

Beth and Serena both have some things to work through, but they're very human in their approaches. I could tell based on other reviews I read that not everyone agrees with this. Many felt they were childish, but honestly, aren't we the people always talking about how we don't want to 'adult' and still feel like college kids sometimes, not knowing how to be proper people? I know I've felt that way, and having characters that drop into what's 'easy' or 'comfortable' instead of doing what's right for themselves or others feels distinctly human. The fact that this was explored and we saw the flaws but also the strengths of their friendship was so good.

By the end of the book, I found myself frequently fighting off tears at the pure relief of it all. Having a friendship as deep and long as theirs comes with a lot of complicated feelings, and I was so grateful to see things work out all the way around. The ending was a little rushed, but I didn't mind.

Demisexual and Bisexual rep, sexuality exploration in a whole new way, and a realistic look at female friendships... I'm grateful I got to read this. Absolutely adored it.

Thank you again so much for the ARC! That's What She Said by Eleanor Pilcher is out on April 15th. I highly recommend checking it out.

So i’m not exactly sure what I expected from this story, but what I got was entirely unexpected. I loved Beth’s sexual journey, especially as I am demisexual as well, so I really appreciated an actual realistic portrayal of her feelings in regards to her complicated sexual orientation. In that respect, her character felt very relatable, but other than that, there was no emotional depth or likeability factor to truly get me invested in her character. The entire book is all about her inability to form a strong enough connection to feel sexually charged or interested in dating someone, but once Evan comes back into the picture, it felt extremely rushed and fast for someone who had spent their entire life sexually struggling. It just felt like a switch was all of the sudden turned and BEth was magically cured of her demisexuality.

I wouldn't say Serena is an unlikeable character, but there was just something about her that always felt fake, so therefore I also couldn’t feel completely invested in the outcome of her story. Her relationship with her parents definitely sucked, which played a role in her inability to form long term relationships and trust that her partner wouldn’t leave her like her parents did. But unfortunately throughout most of the story, I found Serena to be either too confident, selfish, annoying, immature, or too much of a coward to actually admit her feelings for reasons that didn’t seem to make sense. Zoey from the beginning seemed to always show Serena how much she cared for her and constantly professed her feelings, so I’m not sure why Serena fought so hard against it.

As far as side characters go, I absolutely loved Penny, Delphi, Zoey, Arnold, and even Evan. They pretty much made the story for me with their humor, ability to actually give good advice, and the fact that they were instantly likeable. When reading the description I wasn’t expecting there to be two separate stories, I thought for sure Beth and Serena were going to end up in a relationship. Therefore the fact that they were so intimate for a friendship, kind of made the whole dynamic a bit strange. I wish there had been more time with the romance side rather than the friendship side of things. Even though I loved how things worked out in the end, it felt a little too good to be true and wrapped up too easily, especially how horrible Serena treated Beth. Their opposites attract personalities and opposite end of the sexual spectrum was a bit too much at times, which made things feel inauthentic. Though it was interesting how they each viewed certain situations,thoughts, and experiences revolving around sex, I still felt like the way they went about things was very immature for their age. I definitely felt an unhealthy sense of dependence that they each had for each other that made it hard for them to have serious conversations.

Some of my favorite parts revolved around Serena and Arnold’s talks and how much he felt like a father figure to her. Beth and Delphi’s friendship was also a surprise that I didn’t think would last, but was happy to find out about them still keeping in touch. I typically prefer wlw relationships, but I will admit that Evan was very adorable and the perfect person to end up with Beth. I really appreciated Beth’s therapy sessions and how her feelings were validated and also challenged. But the thing I loved the most was the tantra sexual retreat, it honestly seemed so fun and fascinating. It was so refreshing to hear intimacy viewed in other ways other than just through sex. This book definitely hit the mark when it came to representing asexuality and demisexuality in an honest and realistic way that didn't feel dismissed or looked down upon. For people who don’t know anything about those forms of sexual orientation, I think they would learn some valuable lessons by reading this. Being a virgin at 28 is something also hardly written about, so hearing Beth’s challenges and the struggles she went towards feeling accepted was really powerful and how she was ultimately able to overcome those obstacles.

Overall though, I just hoped for something more. More romance, more excitement, more conflict, and a better plot. In addition, the pacing was slow, both Serena and Beth needed more substance and emotional maturity, and there was nothing worth rooting for or feeling invested in to make me remember much about the story other than the demisexual representation.

I’m sorry I DNFED. How do I say this without sounding like I’m hating just to hate. I don’t know a lot about demisexuality but something about Beth’s attempts to almost ignore how she feels in an attempt to push her outside her comfort zone for Serena’s article. Almost like she’s exploiting something icky. I know Beth consents to this but it still feels wrong to me. Also I go in and out of liking and disliking many of the characters. The hen party was scary. I was both kind of bored and disgusted. Maybe I’ll come back to this another time. For now I can’t continue.

Two 20-somethings exploring friendship, sex, sexuality, virginity, and all of the things that one explores in their 20s. Both fall into the co-dependency that so often happens to women in friendships. I don't know that it's talked about as annoyingly as this, but...whatever. It's captured exactly how it is when inside of one of those friendships.

That's What She Said by Eleanor Pilcher should probably be under "New Adult" rather than General Fiction, as it's still a bit naive and full of that early adulthood angst.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read and review this book.

A great story about friendship and timing of when you’re ready to start something new. This was an enjoyable read and reminded me so much about my friendship with my own best friend. Writing was great!

DNF at 10%

A book about friendship staring one demisexual MC and one bisexual MC is right up my alley. I feel badly for Beth because that was a super awkward interaction with the stripper, but I immediately couldn't stand Serena "I'm such a pro at partying", whose solution to saving Beth at the hen do (bachelorette party) is to get SUPER drunk. So I checked some reviews and yeah, this book's not going to be for me.

Thanks to NetGalley and publisher for the opportunity to read and review.

I went into That's What She Said expecting a heartwarming story about a strong female friendship. Unfortunately, while the book did deliver a female friendship, the execution of it left me wanting much more.

For starters, the two protagonists, Serena and Beth, had no personality or motivation beyond how each of them felt about sex. Additionally, they were both very immature and often acted like teenagers despite being in their late 20s. These factors contributed to their friendship falling flat. On top of that, they didn't communicate very well. Serena continuously pushed Beth into doing things without asking her if she actually wanted to pretty much every time Beth buried her frustration or anger and went along with it.. Considering how close they were supposed to be and how long they had been friends, this constant poor communication felt both unrealistic and frustrating to read.

Outside of Beth and Serena's friendship there was also a subplot of romance for each woman, with Beth's love interest being her former coworker/crush and Serena's being her friend with benefits. These relationships had a few cute moments but there was hardly any focus on them so it was hard to care about them too much.

Despite the issues I had while reading, I don't think this was a bad book. The writing was fine, the pacing was relatively quick to get through, and there was some nice, casual queer representation. There was also a decent amount of entertaining angst and high school-esque drama. If you like messy characters and relationships you might love this book. That said, it wasn't for me.

DNF review.

I was optimistic with this book and looked forward to the juxtaposition of a virgin demisexual MC with a best friend who's very sexually active terrified of commitment.

Listen, the author absolutely delivered that... in the most annoying package possible. The MCs are both so immature, one terrified of sex and the other of relationships in ways that are so repetitive and nowhere near endearing, which I'm sure was the intent. I forced myself through 75% of the book before finally giving up. I hope the book finds its target audience, it just wasn't for me.

I first want to thank Netgalley and Harper Collins for giving me the opportunity to read That's What She Said by Eleanor Pilcher. This review is solely my own opinion. Let me start by saying this is not my typical read, but I still enjoyed the story. It follows Beth and Serena, best friends since college who have been living with each other for the past 10 years. Beth is demisexual and, throughout the book, is trying to find her way on her path to what her sexual discovery will be. Serena is a journalist and talks Beth into letting her write a story about Beth's "sexual odyssey." Serena has agreed to help Beth in any way she can. The outcome of the odyssey may just break their friendship up. I enjoyed the story, and I found myself rooting for both characters' growth and live lives, even if both may not have been likable throughout the entire story. I gave the book 3.75 stars and definitely recommend it to anyone interested in the story.

While I really appreciate the representation of other kinds of sexuality, I was unable to finish this book. I really tried but I just could not connect with the characters. Again, I appreciate the representation over the spectrum of sexuality and I hope others can find themselves feeling connected to the characters in this book!

This book lost me pretty quickly with the amount of times "hen" was used in the first chapter. The relationship between Beth and Serena is underdeveloped and their dynamic does not seem believable.