Sydney Wilder’s *Confessions of a Virgin on a Dating App* dives headfirst into the complexities of modern relationships, sexuality, and the journey of self-discovery through the lens of Avery Murphy, a woman grappling with both her sexual dysfunction and her desire for connection. The novel blends humour, romance, and deep emotional struggles, offering a unique perspective on topics that are often underrepresented in contemporary fiction.

One of the standout elements of the book is the detailed and authentic portrayal of the tabletop gaming culture. Wilder does an excellent job of weaving this nerdy, vibrant atmosphere into the narrative, making it not just a backdrop but a significant part of Avery’s life. The gaming sessions at the local shop are described with such warmth and clarity that you feel as though you’re right there with the characters, rolling dice and strategising over the next move. This setting also provides a supportive community for Avery, which contrasts with her struggles, adding a layer of comfort and camaraderie to the story.

The inclusion of real-life health issues like endometriosis is another strong point of the novel. It’s refreshing to see a topic that affects so many people being brought to the forefront in a way that attempts to de-stigmatise and educate. Wilder’s decision to tackle this often-overlooked issue is commendable, as it opens up conversations that are sorely needed in mainstream media.

The character of Devin Lancaster, the snarky yet endearing owner of the gaming shop, is another highlight. His interactions with Avery are some of the most genuine and heartwarming moments in the book. Devin’s supportive nature and witty banter add much-needed levity and balance to Avery’s often tumultuous journey, making him a character that readers can easily root for.:

However, there are aspects of the book that detract from its overall impact. The repeated emphasis on Avery feeling “broken” becomes overwhelming at times. While it’s clear that this is central to her character’s development and the narrative’s exploration of self-acceptance, the constant self-criticism can feel excessive and heavy-handed. It’s as though Avery is stuck in a loop of self-deprecation, which, rather than evoking sympathy, sometimes alienates the reader, especially a reader who is experiencing the same issues.

Moreover, the resolution of Avery’s struggles with a single surgery feels somewhat unrealistic, especially given the complexity of conditions like endometriosis. Wilder, who has personally experienced this condition, might have aimed to offer hope through Avery’s storyline, but the quick fix approach diminishes the authenticity of the portrayal. It glosses over the ongoing challenges that many individuals with endometriosis face, which could have been explored in more depth to give a fuller picture of the condition.

Another weak point in the narrative is Avery’s rapid emotional attachment to people she’s literally just met. Tristan for instance, a date she barely knows. The suddenness of her feelings comes off as more of a teenage infatuation than the mature, cautious approach one might expect from a 27-year-old who has faced significant emotional and physical hardships. This element felt out of place, detracting from the overall believability of Avery’s character.

*Confessions of a Virgin on a Dating App* is an engaging and easy read that offers both lighthearted moments and thought-provoking topics. Sydney Wilder deserves credit for addressing the realities of living with endometriosis, as well as for capturing the lively, inclusive spirit of the tabletop gaming community. However, the story’s occasional lapses into melodrama and the oversimplified resolution of complex issues might leave some readers feeling disconnected from Avery’s journey. Despite these flaws, the novel remains an enjoyable read, particularly for those who appreciate a blend of geek culture with romance and personal growth.

Avery had an awful experience with sex. She tries online dating hoping that will change things....

This book contains a lot of sensitive topics like religious trauma, past drug use and sexual stigma. I thought that it was handled very well. Despite the sensitive topics, it's a terrific book.

Thanks to the publisher for the arc.

I thought I would like this book as i have been able to relate to the title. I could not however relate to Avery.
This is mainly as I have not had a religious upbringing so have not had those opinions forced onto me but this does show the ways it can harm young women. This topic and exploration was interesting to read but I struggled with how she was meant to feel bad about being a virgin and that this was some big thing she needed to fix with herself and there were constantly reasons provided to explain how she could be a woman at 27 who is a virgin when maybe sometimes people just are a virgin and don't need a traumatic or medical reason for it.
A redeeming quality of the book and something I can very much relate to is the discussions around endometriosis and the struggles of getting this diagnosed and how it can make you feel in yourself and when dating. I have endometriosis and PCOS myself and though there were things that were not in this book that I have had to deal with in the diagnosis process and dating scene I am happy they are beginning to be discussed. I have had surgery for this and I can tell you that at no point was I able to "burst off the couch" as I was in so much pain and the stitches are easy to tear (which I did) due to where they are. Little things like this and how it seemed like having that one surgery fixed everything (which it sadly does not as less than 1 year on and I am already in such a lot of pain everyday) stopped me from being able to fully immerse myself in this book. Though this is not fully representative of my own experience I know that there are also so many different stories so I cannot say that this has not been someone elses experience.
I did not fall in love with Devin as I have with many a book boyfriend before and sometimes their relationship felt slightly toxic to me.