It would be easy to be judge-y about the protagonist of this novel about a woman who finds herself overwhelmed by a crush on a man who is not her husband but give it a chance. She's lived a virtuous life (sort of) but then her husband tells her he enjoys watching her flirt and that perhaps she should go a little further. Next thing she knows, she's in an emotional relationship with David, a relationship that doesn't involve touch or even being together. But then....and she's got to cope with the aftermath. This is long on quotes about crushes and love from other authors, which enhance the strong sense of abandon. Thanks to the publisher for the ARC. Calhoun has hit on something many (both men and women) experience.

For so long there were hardly any novels with female midlife protagonists. Now, the ones that are suddenly surfacing seem to all revolve around sex. Even if a woman writes them, they are so depressing.

Fun and witty, but I admit I did not resonate with any of the characters and found myself unable to finish. That's just me -- I did not find anything particularly bad about the writing or plot.

Crush follows the story of a middle aged woman whose life takes unexpected turns. Happily enough married and with a teenage son readying for college she takes her husband up on the offer of an open marriage. Things become messy quickly, but this story is less about a marriage in crisis and more about a woman's self discovery and learning to choose herself and accept pleasure. Told in the first person this is a novel that reads like a memoir and undoubtedly falls into the autofiction genre. The narrator is a writer and the story is dappled with literary quotes, references, and ruminations, which I actually appreciated. I know this book will not be for many readers, but I think I'm the exact target audience. It's not a perfect pairing, but I'd shelve Crush alongside Miranda July's All Fours as these works explore similar themes.

“Why am I telling you this?” he often asked after a story about his day. “Because I want to tell you everything.”
- “Crush’, by Ada Calhoun

As a life long romance reader, I am fascinated when authors experiment with the form.
And that is the most interesting reading of what this book is: a romance novel. It features a married female protagonist, who, in the process of opening her marriage, exposes cracks in her relationship with her husband. I think it pushes the boundaries of how a romance novel can be written in a way that the genre really needs. It pulls from literary fiction, memoir, ‘cultural history’, and more to create a book that, I think, is fairly unique.

Personally, I think the romance genre could use some innovation and I think books like this are a step in the right direction.

I have a few criticisms with the writing. I found some of the refences to be gratuitous. I’m specifically talking about every time the author described something as ‘like this movie’, ‘like this song’, etc. (The narrator and her new love fall for each other via their love of literature and books. Those are not the references I’m referring to.) I read an ARC of this book. Perhaps some of these were cut in the final edits.

That is mostly a nit-pick though. My main critique, and where I feel the book fails to live up to its premise, is in its depiction of our narrator’s husband and her new lover. Both characterizations read very flat to me. The husband was reduced to only the base characteristics that made him a difficult partner and the new lover (apart from the last few chapters) was exalted as her perfect ideal. This book is fiction, however, it was heavily inspired by the author’s real life and our narrator is unnamed and speaks in the first person. I don’t know where real life ends and fiction begins, but it seems strange that both these characters read so flatly when at least on is based on a real person. Perhaps, there were emotional places she didn’t want to go in the writing with these characters…

(Plus, I have a specific aversion to any usage of the term ‘asexual’ in a negative context. This comes up later when our narrator starts to see experience some of her new lovers less than ideal qualities.)

Overall, it was a worthwhile read to me and I’d recommend it to anyone interested in exploring the edges of romance.

[This review is based an advanced reader copy, provided by NetGalley. Thank you, NetGalley!]

In Crush, Ada Calhoun delves into the complexities of modern marriage with a sharp and introspective narrative. The story follows a woman who appears to have it all—a fulfilling life filled with a loving spouse, a child, a career, and supportive friendships. However, when her husband challenges her to examine what might be missing from their relationship, the conversation ignites a whirlwind of emotions that leads to unexpected revelations about desire, intimacy, and self-discovery.

As the couple navigates the turmoil that ensues, they confront the chaotic interplay of passion and heartbreak, ultimately rekindling the love that drew them together in the first place. Calhoun's personal experiences inform the narrative, providing an authentic lens through which to explore the liberating yet dangerous pursuit of desire in a world that often feels constrained by societal labels.

Crush offers a compelling examination of partnership in the context of contemporary relationships, particularly in the wake of the pandemic. With wit and poignant insight, Calhoun crafts a story that resonates with anyone questioning the intricacies of love, ambition, and identity. This revelatory novel invites readers to embrace the full spectrum of human connection, making it a thought-provoking read that will linger long after the final page.

Crush is a novel that reads like a memoir. Our protagonist (and I'm just realizing I don't think we learn her name.) is somewhat happily married with a teenage son and a successful writing career. Her husband brings up the concept of polyamory, and she starts exploring. I could not stand her husband from the start. and it was hard to see why she loved him. But fun to read other parts of the book. I can't totally relate, but still interesting to read!

I’ll start by saying this novel isn’t for everyone. It takes on the line between polyamory vs. cheating. The writing feels very honest and hilarious at times, but it fell just a tad bit short for me in the end. One thing that stuck out to me is that “crush” can certainly have a double meaning, and this book does a good job of illustrating that.

Delighted to include this title in the February edition of Novel Encounters, my column highlighting the month’s most anticipated fiction for the Books section of Zoomer, Canada’s national lifestyle and culture magazine. (see column and mini-review at link)

A married woman writer approaching 50 with a son about to go to college explores the possibility of other relationships after her husband suggests it. What follows is somewhat of a slog. I never liked the woman and couldn't understand why she allowed her unemployed artist husband to live the life he did.

Thank you Viking and PRH audio for review copies. This is a book that can be read and processed in many ways by many readers and evoke a range of reactions. For me, this book didn't land and not for the topics/themes per se but more for the writing, it was intensely personal and memoir-like but for me lacked a lot of development and self-growth that I expect in a memoir and at times felt like I was being dropped into a story I wasn't fully familiarized with I tend to disengage from books low on dialogue, I am here more for conversations and dialogue, less analysis and explanation of decisions and behaviors when the analysis doesn't move a plot or story forward. So a tough one to review because this book will be such a win for many, for the topics and feelings and sense of learning to speak of for needs, but for me the execution doesn't quite work.

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Group Viking for gifting me a digital ARC of Crush by author Ada Calhoun. In exchange I offer my honest review.

Admittedly, the bright bold cover and clever font first grabbed my interest, followed by the publisher’s blurb. I thought I was going to read a light, flirty novel about a woman exploring a polyamory relationship. This is not that book. Instead I found the musings, ramblings and never ending literary and philosophical quotes shared by a woman who believes she’s found the answer to having it all. Until of course she discovers that might not be possible.
Less of a novel in the traditional sense, Crush reads like essays or journal entries. There was no true story development, more of a failed experiment and the conclusion.
I had trouble connecting, caring or becoming emotionally invested in this slim story, which felt like a chore to get through. This book was not for me.

This book is written in the first person and reads like a memoir. The main character is by all sights in-love with herself and all her wonderful characteristics. She believes that she has found the secret of a good life--having crushes on other men allows her to have happiness in all aspects of her life. Her husband is aware of these crushes and finds them fun, maybe even titillating, which becomes more apparent when he tells her she can take those crushes a step further. I would have maybe enjoyed this book a little bit if there was some dialogue but instead it is just a woman's thoughts spilling out. Thank you to Viking and NetGalley for the complementary digital ARC. Unfortunately, I was not the best reader for this book. This opinion is my own and not coerced in any way.

I went through a rollercoaster of emotions while reading this book; not unlike the protagonist, I suspect. This is a thoughtful and heartfelt exploration of satisfaction, desire, understanding and friendship within the bounds of conventional marriage. An honest gem contained within so few pages is a rarity indeed.

A sharp exploration of polyamory. She's happy and settled in life, motherhood, career and love with a husband she adores and friendships she treasures. But then she find her husband is not quite as content as she believed and comes to her with a proposition: challenge the modern labels of relationship and love and husband and wife. More memoir than novel, it was an interesting take on something I know little about but which I now hold more empathy and understanding.

Our narrator has followed the rules her whole life. She’s been a good mother, excelled in her work, and done more than her fair share of the household chores. So when her husband offers her the opportunity to cut loose a little bit, she jumps at the chance. The agreement is that she is allowed to kiss other men. What she doesn’t bank on is falling in love. Now she must balance her peaceful domestic life with her husband and her all-consuming passion for her new beau. And she realizes she may have to make a life-changing choice.

This novel definitely read like a memoir. The main character has a strong narrative voice, and we spend much of the book inside her head. There’s not a lot of interiority from other characters and not much in the way of action…but I loved it! The storytelling choices here totally worked for me and I was completely pulled in. This book felt like a trusted friend telling you her secrets after a few drinks. It won’t be for everyone, but I’m a big fan. I would definitely recommend this one to readers who loved Miranda July’s All Fours.

This one was not for me. While it was a quick read, it read just like a memoir and that is not what I was expecting. Every couple paragraphs had quotes from other books or authors, which I do enjoy, but there was just so much of it!

I read about 20% and this isn't for me... the tone felt..... whiny? Like it was giving very depressed housewife. Your choices within your marriage are your own, do whatever works for you but the FMC just rubbed me the wrong way and I didn't really like her, or care about her so I didn't feel compelled to keep reading.

"Crush" by Ada Calhoun is an exploration of a middle-aged woman's journey of self-discovery. The narrative is more memoirs like in style, follows the female lead, Nadia, as she and her husband, Paul, explore new dynamics in their relationship. He suggested that she might enjoy kissing other people and sharing the experience with him. This suggestion leads her to reevaluate her life, especially now that her son is almost ready to leave for college. Through discussions with her best friend and renewed correspondence with an old colleague, David, she learns more about herself, although it strains her marriage.

The novel explores themes of infidelity and polyamory. It is structured with each chapter feeling like a standalone story connected by Nadia’s experiences and growth. Although the novel is skillfully written, I found it challenging to connect with the characters. However, I did appreciate certain aspects of the book. I would recommend it to those who enjoy character centered narratives and stories of women journeying to self-discovery.

Thanks to Netgalley and Penguin Group/Viking Group for providing me with an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

I received an advance copy from NetGalley. I was interested in the book based on what I had read about the author, but I didn't end up enjoying the book.

First, way too many quotes from literature, philosophy, movies, songs, random interviews, etc etc etc., it got to the point where I was just skipping the quotes. I didn't find that not reading them changed any of my understanding of the story. The story itself was not interesting. I didn't feel like I knew the characters at all. Maybe we were supposed to just live through the narrator's point of view, because she first kept saying how much she loved her husband and was in a happy marriage, then when he tells her to go out and kiss other men she immediately contacts the man she had a crush on back in college, describing him as the man she would invent if she had the power to do so. So, hmmmm... doesn't sound like a happy marriage to a man she loves. Which of course she just later decided he was a lazy deadbeat but was still super jealous when he wanted to date other people. She described her son as being the perfect child but never showed anything about him so we didn't get to know him at all. And the big love of her life just communicated through other people's quotes, so no sense of him at all either. The polyamory was not what my understanding of polyamory is supposed to be, seemed like more of a hall pass thing.

I realize this review is a bunch of random thoughts, but I didn't care enough about the book to put a lot of time into this! I wanted to write a review as part of the agreement of receiving an advance copy. Thank you, NetGalley! At least it was a quick read.