Ada Calhoun is a talented writer. I enjoyed reading this book, however, the narrative was a little confusing. It was called a novel, but it read like a memoir, written by maybe a not so reliable narrator.
The protagonist was a multi dimensioned character, a bit narcissistic, but full of life, deliberation and emotion. Her spouse seemed to be an immature jerk throughout, never growing as an adult or changing.
She was fond of developing "crushes". Flirting with other men seemed to stroke her ego. She and her husband decided to have and open marriage, but each got jealous and possessive if the other was seriously interested in someone other than themselves. But at least she grew from the experience.

CRUSH by Ada Calhoun is a curious book. Billed as a novel, it reads exactly like a memoir and has no discernable novel-like qualities to even categorize this as autofiction. The unnamed protagonist is in an almost 20 year marriage with a man she has an 18 year old son with. They have a good life, are happy in most regards, but he suggests opening up the marriage and, lo and behold, things go tits up.

Immediately she falls head over heels in love with an acquaintance and it gets extremely uncomfortable for the reader (at least, for me!) Like, cringe level embarrassing as we are subject to page after page about how perfect they are for each other and how she is completely obsessed with him on every level. I have always found the idea of crushes fascinating, so I'm continuously excited whenever a book tries to grapple with the phenomenon, but unfortunately in this case, it's like a slow motion train wreck and I kind of can't believe this was made into a book if it is indeed the author's true experience.

Full of quotes about love that often overwhelm the text, I did enjoy the writing that shone through. And I certainly don't fault the characters for exploring polygamy or blame them for infidelity. It's just that I'm not sure why this story specifically was told and I wish someone had told the author that baring your soul completely isn't always the best case scenario. I think I would have liked it more if it was more like an actual novel with a plot and better defined characters. Pick a lane!

DNF at 30%. This felt like it could have been a really succinct and enjoyable essay, but it ran on for way too long as a thought experiment. I appreciate the author's ideas, but there's really no narrative or plot and it just goes on and on. It felt very obviously "a novel from life," which is fine, but when it's billed as "a novel" it feels really annoying. Why not just write it as a memoir and let it go out into the world? The cover also felt misleading.

I loved 2 of Ada Calhoun's nonfiction books (Why Women Never Sleep and Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give), so I looked forward to seeing what she would do with fiction in her debut novel. In Crush, she explores what happens when a husband asks his wife to “explore what’s missing in their marriage.” According to the publisher’s blurb, “all hell breaks loose.” Though Crush is fiction, it's based closely on Calhoun's personal experience in her own marriage and it feels like reading a highly literary memoir (partly due to the unnamed first person narrator) mixed with an intellectual exploration of the concept of different kinds of love. It felt like Calhoun was running a scientific or intellectual experiment about different types of open marriage on her own marriage. I was totally interested in the outcome, but what she was doing definitely felt weird and didn’t fully make sense to me. And, Calhoun can absolutely write a turn of phrase. It's a unique book that's easy to read in small snippets, which I appreciated after a lot of sameness in my reading. That being said, it’s hard to figure out who I’d recommend this to.

Black holes, childbirth, eagles, forgiveness - eh, I’m not convinced. What else ya got?

This somewhat sums it up - how the narrative plucks out milestones and memories, sometimes covering disparate subjects and situations into a single paragraph, only to scratch the surface without any real depth or perspective.

The last time I read a book with this many quotes from other celebrated writers, it was a book of quotes. The pages are comically dense with ideas, as fleeting as morning dew, granted sometimes as pretty as morning dew as well, but most times just as deep and long lasting as morning dew (!). There is no dearth of quirky details and surprising detours, but at the end of the day, one is likely going to have a hard time finding the main characters endearing. In fact, there are times I found them outright insufferable and utterly ridiculous.

To do what you want to do, and then find moral, ethical and logical justification for the actions is not just unsettling but insulting. That’s what I found these characters do, on so many occasions and in many ways, all the while waxing poetic about how well read they are, as if to say, since these famous literary writers have said that, how can it be wrong or inapplicable to any situation! Context and empathy can go to the ends of the earth!

Despite a subject as sensitive and potentially devastating as this, most of the story is as if looking from behind rose tinted glasses. Sadly, a missed opportunity.

Crush by Ada Calhoun is a fictional yet unflinching look at open marriage and polyamory. Based on the author's own experiences, this story is unabashedly honest about the real consequences of having more than one relationship at a time. I was amazed at the level of self-awareness the narrator had in admitting the mistakes made by the involved parties, and by not laying blame on others even when that would have been understandable and even logical. This is also not a book that glorifies cheating or sings the praises of open marriage; it is just one person's experience and a candid look at the way things turned out in her relationships.

Even if you are not sure about reading about this topic, I highly recommend it as the writing is absolutely luminous. The author's sharp perceptions and academic approach to trying to understand matters of the heart resulted in enough literary, philosophical, and historical references to satisfy the most well-read and discerning readers out there (which makes sense, given the author's journalism background). This is not some tabloid tell-all or smutty rom-com. It is a deft handling of an incredibly difficult topic, and the I look forward to reading more fiction from this author.

Many thanks to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for the chance to read and review this e-galley.

“Crush” seemed like it would be a sexy, intriguing read. Unfortunately, it was lacking in that department and felt like random streams of thoughts that simply didn’t flow together. The story was disjointed and felt rather pointless. It dragged on for me which is surprising given the short length of the book. I didn’t enjoy this one as much as I’d hoped. 2.5 stars ⭐️, rounded up to 3. Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for the advanced copy for review..

This is wonderful book about what happens when a couple decides to look at their marriage and figure out what is missing. As they decide to do some work on their marriage, they begin to discover a lot of things about themselves. This is a bold look at what happens in a marriage.

Whewwww boy. I wanted to like this a lot more than I did. While it had SO MUCH going for it the terrible husband felt like a straw man, which zapped the book of needed tension if it were to make good on its premise. But Tom Hanks? Almost made up for everything.

Thanks to Viking Penguin and Netgalley for this advanced copy!

I almost don't know where to start with this book. On the one hand, the main character, the author I guess, navigates a change to her married life in the best way possible while detailing how all of this affects her and her husband. On the other hand, this felt like a bizarre self-indulgent tale of not a crush, but actually falling in love and moving phases in life. Maybe that's the point? This book never really seems to be about a crush or crushes or anything of the sort, but instead, it's a detailing of how her marriage wasn't nearly as fulfilling as she thought it was, her husband took too much for granted and then they found a way forward. I'm really only thankful I didn't have to hear the husband's point of view outside of the author's lens.

I struggled at times with the narrator and how in her head this all was, though I never actually struggled with her decisions. Being so in her head felt frustrating and kinda icky maybe? I don't know it was hard to see through it to where this was inevitably going. I don't know if I needed more struggle.

I think I wanted a different ending somehow? I don't know.

Great premise but, sadly a disappointing book. The writing is poor and the plot is flat, don’t spend your money.

A raw, deeply personal meditation on obsession, art, and self-discovery. Calhoun’s voice is compelling, intimate, and unflinchingly honest.

@vikingbooks | #gifted I may have enjoyed 𝗖𝗥𝗨𝗦𝗛 by Ada Calhoun more if I hadn’t read 𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 by Molly Roden-Winter last year. The latter is a memoir of a woman’s journey into life with an open marriage. The former, a fictionalized account of the same basic thing. Though the two have differences, the similarities are what stood out to me.⁣
⁣
In each the marriage is not without flaws, but also not in any kind of serious trouble. The idea of introducing others is brought up by the husband in both, though it’s the wife who makes the first move. Both women are happy, thrilled, and excited by their extra-marital relationships. Both balk at their husbands following their own leads. They both become tedious and whiny. ⁣
⁣
From there, the stories began to differ, but by that point, I’d already been feeling for many, many pages like I was getting a rerun. While I enjoyed reading 𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘊𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩 felt too much like more of the same, and there’s only so much I need to read about open marriages!🤷🏻‍♀️ 2.5 stars (rounded up)

I had high hopes for this book, the description sounded good and it was lauded by authors I love. I didn't end up loving it -- I am not sure exactly why, I think partly due to not really having a lot of understanding of the main character or character development.

I think the themes discussed in this book are important ones -- discussions of open marriages, of monogamy, intimacy, and communication within relationships. I am always happy to see these things addressed in books, as they are something so many people are dealing with -- but I don't feel like this one quite did them justice.

It was quick, and parts of it were sweet and endearing -- I really wanted to like it but it didn't land for me.

Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy of this book!

This novel is an interesting complement to a nonfiction book I read last year called More by Molly Roden Winter. Crush by Ada Calhoun does a solid job of exploring all of the complexities that come along with consciously choosing to open up your marriage. I would have appreciated more character development for the protagonist, so that I could have understood her motivations more deeply, However I still think the topic of redefining traditional marriage is very timely and will be compelling to a lot of readers.

Thank you to NetGalley and Viking for the complimentary eARC in exchange for my honest thoughts.

I don't usually like romance, and this didn't work for me, but that is likely me as the problem! Some of it did make me feel a bit icky.

i found this book very unputdownable, but i wanted even more from it! there were so many quotations and references that it felt like all the most interesting ideas came from other people, and when all of them were done with there wasn't much left to it.

The concept of the novel Crush sounded like something I’d enjoy but the execution wasn’t great.

I think my main issue is that there is almost no character development. I am not sure how I can feel invested in what is happening to someone when I don’t understand where they are coming from. This is actually kinda wild considering almost the entire book is about the MC’s thoughts with very little happening. I felt no emotional connection to the MC or any of the characters.

I also found the husband pretty dislikable. He refused to get a job and didn’t contribute to the household yet we are supposed to feel for him when his wife falls for someone else? The whole thing just felt off.

I really only finished it because it was so short.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the arc.

Taking off a star for all the philosophizing and navel gazing but the book did make some really good points and prompted a lot of introspection. Calhoun brings into question what it means to love fully and to let yourself be loved and also what we allow ourselves to have.

This was my first read from Calhoun but I would love to read more. I connected with the way she structures a story and the sharp observations she makes about life and behavior. Despite all the philosophical talk and VERY frequent quotes/references for some reason I couldn’t make myself put this down, possibly because this really appealed to my interest in human psychology and messy relationships. I also enjoyed the comparisons between the obligatory relationship between her parents and her romantic relationship. This book gave me a lot to think about.

I think readers who have an interest in psychology, human behavior, or the concept or marriage would enjoy this.

I was intrigued by the premise and summary of this book and felt it promised a lot. Unfortunately the execution was not for me. Thank you to the publisher for the free ebook to review.