A married woman writer approaching 50 with a son about to go to college explores the possibility of other relationships after her husband suggests it. What follows is somewhat of a slog. I never liked the woman and couldn't understand why she allowed her unemployed artist husband to live the life he did.

Thank you Viking and PRH audio for review copies. This is a book that can be read and processed in many ways by many readers and evoke a range of reactions. For me, this book didn't land and not for the topics/themes per se but more for the writing, it was intensely personal and memoir-like but for me lacked a lot of development and self-growth that I expect in a memoir and at times felt like I was being dropped into a story I wasn't fully familiarized with I tend to disengage from books low on dialogue, I am here more for conversations and dialogue, less analysis and explanation of decisions and behaviors when the analysis doesn't move a plot or story forward. So a tough one to review because this book will be such a win for many, for the topics and feelings and sense of learning to speak of for needs, but for me the execution doesn't quite work.

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Group Viking for gifting me a digital ARC of Crush by author Ada Calhoun. In exchange I offer my honest review.

Admittedly, the bright bold cover and clever font first grabbed my interest, followed by the publisher’s blurb. I thought I was going to read a light, flirty novel about a woman exploring a polyamory relationship. This is not that book. Instead I found the musings, ramblings and never ending literary and philosophical quotes shared by a woman who believes she’s found the answer to having it all. Until of course she discovers that might not be possible.
Less of a novel in the traditional sense, Crush reads like essays or journal entries. There was no true story development, more of a failed experiment and the conclusion.
I had trouble connecting, caring or becoming emotionally invested in this slim story, which felt like a chore to get through. This book was not for me.

This book is written in the first person and reads like a memoir. The main character is by all sights in-love with herself and all her wonderful characteristics. She believes that she has found the secret of a good life--having crushes on other men allows her to have happiness in all aspects of her life. Her husband is aware of these crushes and finds them fun, maybe even titillating, which becomes more apparent when he tells her she can take those crushes a step further. I would have maybe enjoyed this book a little bit if there was some dialogue but instead it is just a woman's thoughts spilling out. Thank you to Viking and NetGalley for the complementary digital ARC. Unfortunately, I was not the best reader for this book. This opinion is my own and not coerced in any way.

I went through a rollercoaster of emotions while reading this book; not unlike the protagonist, I suspect. This is a thoughtful and heartfelt exploration of satisfaction, desire, understanding and friendship within the bounds of conventional marriage. An honest gem contained within so few pages is a rarity indeed.

A sharp exploration of polyamory. She's happy and settled in life, motherhood, career and love with a husband she adores and friendships she treasures. But then she find her husband is not quite as content as she believed and comes to her with a proposition: challenge the modern labels of relationship and love and husband and wife. More memoir than novel, it was an interesting take on something I know little about but which I now hold more empathy and understanding.

Our narrator has followed the rules her whole life. She’s been a good mother, excelled in her work, and done more than her fair share of the household chores. So when her husband offers her the opportunity to cut loose a little bit, she jumps at the chance. The agreement is that she is allowed to kiss other men. What she doesn’t bank on is falling in love. Now she must balance her peaceful domestic life with her husband and her all-consuming passion for her new beau. And she realizes she may have to make a life-changing choice.

This novel definitely read like a memoir. The main character has a strong narrative voice, and we spend much of the book inside her head. There’s not a lot of interiority from other characters and not much in the way of action…but I loved it! The storytelling choices here totally worked for me and I was completely pulled in. This book felt like a trusted friend telling you her secrets after a few drinks. It won’t be for everyone, but I’m a big fan. I would definitely recommend this one to readers who loved Miranda July’s All Fours.

This one was not for me. While it was a quick read, it read just like a memoir and that is not what I was expecting. Every couple paragraphs had quotes from other books or authors, which I do enjoy, but there was just so much of it!

I read about 20% and this isn't for me... the tone felt..... whiny? Like it was giving very depressed housewife. Your choices within your marriage are your own, do whatever works for you but the FMC just rubbed me the wrong way and I didn't really like her, or care about her so I didn't feel compelled to keep reading.

"Crush" by Ada Calhoun is an exploration of a middle-aged woman's journey of self-discovery. The narrative is more memoirs like in style, follows the female lead, Nadia, as she and her husband, Paul, explore new dynamics in their relationship. He suggested that she might enjoy kissing other people and sharing the experience with him. This suggestion leads her to reevaluate her life, especially now that her son is almost ready to leave for college. Through discussions with her best friend and renewed correspondence with an old colleague, David, she learns more about herself, although it strains her marriage.

The novel explores themes of infidelity and polyamory. It is structured with each chapter feeling like a standalone story connected by Nadia’s experiences and growth. Although the novel is skillfully written, I found it challenging to connect with the characters. However, I did appreciate certain aspects of the book. I would recommend it to those who enjoy character centered narratives and stories of women journeying to self-discovery.

Thanks to Netgalley and Penguin Group/Viking Group for providing me with an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

I received an advance copy from NetGalley. I was interested in the book based on what I had read about the author, but I didn't end up enjoying the book.

First, way too many quotes from literature, philosophy, movies, songs, random interviews, etc etc etc., it got to the point where I was just skipping the quotes. I didn't find that not reading them changed any of my understanding of the story. The story itself was not interesting. I didn't feel like I knew the characters at all. Maybe we were supposed to just live through the narrator's point of view, because she first kept saying how much she loved her husband and was in a happy marriage, then when he tells her to go out and kiss other men she immediately contacts the man she had a crush on back in college, describing him as the man she would invent if she had the power to do so. So, hmmmm... doesn't sound like a happy marriage to a man she loves. Which of course she just later decided he was a lazy deadbeat but was still super jealous when he wanted to date other people. She described her son as being the perfect child but never showed anything about him so we didn't get to know him at all. And the big love of her life just communicated through other people's quotes, so no sense of him at all either. The polyamory was not what my understanding of polyamory is supposed to be, seemed like more of a hall pass thing.

I realize this review is a bunch of random thoughts, but I didn't care enough about the book to put a lot of time into this! I wanted to write a review as part of the agreement of receiving an advance copy. Thank you, NetGalley! At least it was a quick read.

This is one of those books that feels like it's a memoir, but is actually a novel. And while I didn't necessarily dislike it, there was a lot about it that I didn't love.

My main issue is that the book started with the main character's husband telling her he wants her to be able to kiss other men. She's too "good" and he thinks she needs to let loose and be a little "bad," plus he thinks it's kind of hot. Then before long, he's saying he needs to be able to join the apps and date other women to make it fair. And they never actually have a conversation about how that wasn't part of the deal! I feel like all of their conversations were so unsatisfying and never got anywhere, even when they were seeing a marriage counselor.

The husband also drives me crazy in that he's totally aimless with no job and just focused on his creative endeavors. I understand why the wife wants to support her husband and it's great that she can do this, but it starts to feel like she's majorly being taking advantage of and, yet again, there's no conversation about it. Ugh!

I did understand the main character's conflict and really appreciated her internal struggle with being in love with two different men and not wanting to break up her marriage mainly because of her son. Also, one of the arguments for polyamory: How is having more love in our lives a bad thing? But also, we're only allotted so much time and we need to decide who we want to spend it with.

This book was very strange. It reads more like autofiction than anything else. I found the main character to be very annoying and self-involved. I didn't care for her unconventional relationship with her spouse. Their relationship had no chemistry or sizzle. This book was a quick read but left me feeling frustrated.

I got 16% of the way finished with this and just didn't care enough to keep going. It just wasn't for me.

This book will be divisive, will illicit strong opinions and would be great discussion for a book club (assuming the members are comfortable talking about sex and desire).

Ada Calhoun opens up a can of worms with this novel. It can be uncomfortable at times, illuminating at others. There are certain things that struck me because of my own lived experiences, and I’m very curious to know how other readers feel upon reading this. This novel talks a lot about things people don’t talk about, which makes it a great book.

There were times when the pacing of the book felt like it hung a little too long, and sped through a little too fast. But if you are curious to unpack midlife marriage, the idea of saving a marriage by opening it up, and living life to it’s fullest - give this a try.

This book was pretty boring. I hated both husband and wife and just didn't find the story compelling.

I DNFed this at 10%. It's possible that I will return to it at some point, but I had expectations for a well-written and compelling narrative and so far I'm getting what feels like an adult stuck in a teenage mindset. Knowing that this is somewhat autobiographical makes it an awkward read. I don't have a lot of patience for books like this, where the protagonist is self-obsessed and seems to be sort of bragging about their messiness. It's why I hated the Miranda July book everyone adored. There's probably something worth reading here, but it feels like it might be a waste of time and life is too short.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing an advance reader's copy of this novel.

I had high hopes for this book and I truly enjoyed it initially. The style of writing and the way the main character understood relationships was interesting and funny - just a fresh take. However, I soon got tired of it. There was just too much circularity, self-absorbtion, and literary allusions. And soon I just found all of them irritating. Wish I had liked it more as the premise was interesting, but I think it just never developed beyond its initial promise.

I was very excited to read Crush as it seemed to be getting some early buzz, unfortunately I was quite disappointed. The story felt disjointed and odd. There were numerous points were I was wondering if the main character even liked her husband and why they simply didn't divorce. This novel was both poorly written and executed. The story kept meandering without any direction or point to many of the anecdotes. I felt like the main character and her husband were heading for a divorce but I won't give anything more away.

I was simply disappointed by this novel and wouldn't recommend it.

Thank you to Penguin Group for providing me with an eARC in exchange for an honest review. As always, all opinions are my own.

It took me a minute to get into the writing, but once it clicked I was totally invested. If you love a slow, deep look into complicated relationship dynamics, this one is gonna be a hit.