The focus of this memoir was self-discovery and I felt like she did that really well. Sometimes memoirs with that theme can be a bit abstract or gloss over uncomfortable facts but I felt like she was being very forthright.

The book did jump around in time but in a very smooth way. I also appreciated h0w she worked in her father's death/murder in a way that felt natural to the self-discovery aspect.

A memoir on the meaning of home, family, heritage, and what it means to belong. A compelling and razor sharp collection of essays from new to me author, Theresa Okokon. Though her life experience has been radically different from mine, I found myself really connecting with her beautiful writing and discovered that it was difficult for me to walk away once I picked up the book. A wonderful read. I am grateful to Atria Books for allowing me an early copy in exchange for an honest review.

”That’s the thing about identity: so much of it is nothing more than what others see in you… I am not interested in being who you want—or believe—me to be. I’d rather tell you, show you, who I am.”

A profoundly moving tribute to home, heritage, Blackness, and belonging. Theresa Okokon writes vividly about her family, her childhood, and her hopes for her own future. I love the cover—something beautiful and vibrant, flourishing in an unexpected place. This feels right for the tone of her essays.

”I have spent my life wanting to feel like I was part of something. A member of the club… Is my belonging real? Do I really belong to and with anyone?”

I especially appreciated the theme of identity and the things Okokon shared about her journey toward self-discovery. She details her mixed Nigerian and Ghanaian heritage, and offers valuable insight on the intersectionality of Blackness and immigration.

”Merely being happy and wanting to be somewhere doesn’t mean you can make yourself fit that place.”

Okokon’s writing makes me want to get lost in my own memories for a while, and see if I can unravel the braided threads of my own upbringing and ancestry and experiences. Would recommend this collection for fans of Transcendent Kingdom or Aftershocks.

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A huge thank you to Theresa Okukon, Atria, and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review!

I don’t like to judge memoirs too harshly because it is a very individual and personal piece of work, but this one just didn’t capture me at all after 6 weeks of attempted engagement with this book. I do, however, wish this author success with this publishing and future endeavors.

Who I Always Was by Theresa Okokon is a powerful and introspective memoir that takes readers on a journey through her experiences of identity, belonging, and self-discovery. I was deeply moved by Okokon’s candid storytelling and the way she explores her cultural heritage and personal challenges. Her reflections on the complexities of race and identity are both thought-provoking and relatable, making it a compelling read. This memoir resonates with anyone seeking to understand themselves better and appreciate the diverse tapestry of human experience.

Deeply though provoking. The author gives you a raw and real look into the enter workings of their mind. I can’t wait to read more by this author.