This book felt like a mix of Thirteen, Catcher in the Rye, and 28 days. But that ending was not at all what I expected, nor did we get closure with that jerk that started this all. I just have 0 words right now.

First and foremost, thank you to the publisher and the author for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review. This story really hit hard. As a teen you go thru life thinking that you're untouchable and that nothing can hurt you. Until it does. I loved this story and it was definitely worth the read!

This was phenomenal! I never thought that the situation with the characters could devolve the way it did but it shook me as the mom of a teenager. I was also that teenager long before vape pens and OxyContin. This made me happy that I made it out okay (no choice, we were poor) and hopeful that my daughter makes it through okay. Great storytelling, it was evocative and tragic.

A teen boy thinks his vaping habit is harmless until it becomes a crippling addiction of nightmarish dimensions

Thank you Simonteen for an Earc! :)

I really wanted to like this book. The premise was one that really intrigued me and something that I thought could translate well into a YA book. Unfortunately I felt like something was missing.

Elijahs internal monologue was a mess of consciences. Often times he would ramble which in any other context I feel would be fine. But it tended to pull me out of the scene and the overall seriousness of the book.
I did deeply enjoy how flawed he was. He had an often cynical outlook on life which is something that not a lot of YA books tend to gravitate towards but I feel like it’s important to show.

The writing wasn’t my favorite which lead to my rating. BUT I do think this is important topic to discuss in books, especially ones marketed towards a younger audience.

Stopped immediately at 22% because the kids compare being smart to being like Elon Musk and I just can’t.

DNF.
I really tried to like this book. The cover was interesting as well as the summary. I was looking forward to this premise, thinking it'd be captivating from the jump. However, it felt like a stream of consciousness ramble. I was so lost trying to figure out what was happening, and it seemed like the plot was going in 20 different directions. I was disappointed by this book. Ultimately it was too hard to follow and I gave up 25% in.

I really hope this book just wasn't for me, and that more people like it.

This novel follows biracial (Japanese American/white) Elijah, who lives in southern California, as he descends into drug addiction. Elijah is a good student who is especially interested in history and plans to major in it in college. His parents have worked hard to make enough money to move their family into a home in a nice neighborhood, and Elijah is close with his little brother, Joshie, who is only five. He has a small group of close friends who love to bike. One of those friends is Lee, an exceptionally bright kid who has his eyes set on the Ivy Leagues. When Lee breaks his leg while biking one day, an older kid, Banker, helps him out--and drops his vape pen nearby. When Elijah tries it, he's instantly hooked on the high that THC gives him. Soon, this high is the most important thing in his life, and eventually Banker, who has now positioned himself as the leader of their group, supplies him with opioids.
When Elijah's parents find out he's using, they send him to rehab, where Elijah often laments (via the narration) what he sees as the addiction industrial complex. Rehab does nothing to help him, and things continue to spiral as Banker begins suggesting the boys commit murder in order to come into more drug money.
This story is relentlessly bleak and heartbreaking. I thought Elijah's voice was realistic and interesting, but the middle of the novel becomes a bit meandering as we spend so much time in Elijah's wandering thoughts as he languishes in his addiction, feeling as though there's no point to anything and losing motivation for everything. Some of the strongest parts were his interactions with Joshie, who adores Elijah and just wants his attention. Their relationship is, of course, strained by Elijah's addiction, and it's clear that it's having an effect on Joshie (as well as on Elijah's parents). Elijah's observations about parents of addicts were astute.
It's clear that the story is progressing, albeit slowly, toward some sort of catastrophe; I definitely never wanted to stop reading, but at times the story was an emotional slog.

Elijah starts vaping and taking drugs and finds they make him feel “like the real me.” Eli and his friends find ways to make money to buy the drugs. When Eli’s mom finds his vape pens his parents decide to put him in rehab. When he gets out, Eli goes back to drugs because he thinks drugs can make things all right and all wrong at the same time. When something happens to one of his friends it changes Eli. Will it last?
Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for the eARC of this book. All opinions are my own.